Day: June 20, 2016

Luke: “Aw, man. It’s not from a female. This one’s from a male named ‘Andrew Walsh’.”

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Luke: “But Andrew, she wasn’t out of the woods yet.”

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Luke: “Can’t stop it, sometimes it just happens. It just comes out of me.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “I don’t like murderers, y’all!”

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Luke: “I know, right?”

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Luke: “I’ll dazzle you with one other deet.”

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Luke: Luke wants to lodge a small thorn of truth in Nancy Grace’s foot

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Luke: “Northwest Territory, uh, just a little south of Yellowknife. God, that is remote sounding.”

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Luke: “Oh my God!!!”

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Luke: “Please. There’s not paperwork.”

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Luke: “Pod-dog? Where is li’l Pod-dog? Umm, she is… (Perro) Actually, she’s Trench-Dog today. That sounds like that could be her rap name as well.”

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Luke: “Racism is wrong, y’all!”

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Luke: “Trench-Dog”

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Luke: “You know what? I was, I was cyberbullied to within an inch of my life last night. Okay? Don’t start with me.”

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Luke: “You suck!”

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Luke: “You’re a bad person if you’re, if you’re abusing…”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew mean-mugging the camera and intense stare

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew saying “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity” would make for a good drop plus Marsupial Gurgle name drop

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Luke and Andrew: Caribou and Nunavut

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Luke and Andrew: “I would absolutely shit my Dockers, which is what I wear for mushroom hunting. (Mmm-hmm) I would shit my Dockers if there was a bear anywhere in my vicinity.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you see something, shame something? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s your photo, it’s your story, it’s your call. It’s a beautiful story, it’s not a beautiful photo.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke describing how he would try to shut down Nancy Grace

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Luke and Andrew: Luke pulled a Nunavut joke and Andrew was late at catching it

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Luke and Andrew: Luke sings and make up lyrics to the “Forensic Files” theme song

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! I didn’t know this… his debut single was ‘Toot It And Boot It’? Oh, that’s him?!? (This is what…) Wait, what?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! Yeah. (Wow!) He was a real, like that’s… This is incredible, wow!”

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Andrew: “Don’t… don’t make it weird!”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair down.”

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Andrew: “Glasses off, hair whatever.”

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Andrew: “I honestly don’t know. I mean, I would just be a puddle of a mess.”

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Andrew: “I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “I’m just like, so eye-rolly, I’m just like, ‘Whatever’.”

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Andrew: “I’m just trying to make this about Canada.”

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Andrew: “It is so upsetting!”

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Andrew: “It is… weird looking.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Right. Exactly.”

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Andrew: Laughing while saying “I don’t have that one. That’s the best one.”

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Andrew: “My driver license photo, I look like a man who just did something awful, and is kind of pleased with himself.”

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Andrew: “Nancy, what you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God… how?”

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Andrew: “Oh, Lordy!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Nunavut! Son of a–I got it.”

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Andrew: “So I take off my glasses, they take this unflattering photo… The camera is a little bit below me, so just it’s a lot of chin. I have this kind of lazy eye thing, and it look like, my, my one eye might have been, just, a tiny bit wondering. I just look like a weirdo without glasses.”

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Andrew: “Sorry.”

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Andrew: “That’s weird!”

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Andrew: “The glasses are a huge part of my face.”

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Andrew: “This is an image I’ve never seen before in my life.”

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Andrew: “Uhhh, is the equipment working? We’re live!”

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Andrew: “Umm, that’s ambitious, but I like it.”

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Andrew: “What you’re doing on this show is awful for humanity.”

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Andrew: “When I take my glasses off, I’m very discombobulated.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying how he would shut down Nancy Grace

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, your Music For Your Weekend. Oh, sorry, gotcha. He’s not out of the woods yet! (Ha-ha!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The sad thing is… clearly, this story is a fake, right? You think so? No, I’m just joking.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Was it a bear problem… or a bear blessing!”

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Luke: “And he kind of whips it around in some kind of a bizarre, like, cinnamon roll of hair.”

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Luke: “And wondering (Perro) where the Pod-dog is… Yeah, that didn’t work.”

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Luke: “Bro-ing it up, as it were.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cinnamon roll of hair”

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Luke: Giggling

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Luke: “I know!”

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Luke: “I’m a grown-ass man, I’m 40 years old. I’ve done… things.”

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Luke: “I’m in a world of pain, I’m in a world of hurt right here at the top of the show.”

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Luke: “I’m turning into the little kid I never was.”

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Luke: “I’ve got some thoughts on The Donald’s hair”

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Luke: “It would have been fodder for the show, because it would have killed me. So, I mean, it would have been kind of cool to narrate that, for the listeners; to get to, like just listen to like a three day process. By, during which time, a podcast host expires from physical exhaustion and exertion.”

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Luke: “It’s an art and science I’m well familiar with.”

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Luke: Laughing while Andrew is talking

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Luke: Making throat clearing noises and saying “Donald Trump” and “Paul Ryan”

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Luke: “Please save me.”

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Luke: “Please, tell me what I have to do to get you to make this cable go through this wall. Please.”

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: “Well, yeah. Bourbon Street is just, basically, a river of throw up.”

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Luke: “Which, you’re almost never being a pain in anyone’s butt.”

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Luke: “Yeah, no. We’re doing, we’re doing it legit. We’re, we’re keeping it real.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, we, we, we decided to make queso fundido (Right) with a side of Limburger. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would be great. It would be awful!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It would feel like ramen noodles covered in Aqua Net. Oof, oh God. Are you hungry? Yes! Mmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not funny. It’s not funny, but it’s kind of funny to me. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look who made it, Pod-dog! Aww. What’s up dude?”

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Andrew: “Are you here to Dougie? Show me how to Dougie!”

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Andrew: “As far as I’m concerned, like, there’s no way any of those are getting in, into my mouth. It’s a Hidden Valley Ranch in my mouth.”

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Andrew: “Can we just go out? I don’t like food that you cook. Like, I would be just be like, ‘Show me!'”

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Andrew: Cute end to Andrew’s laugh

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Andrew: “Early onset grumpiness”

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Andrew: “For some reason, coming out of my mouth, it sounded weird; but, so do most words.”

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Andrew: “God damn it, that was my out.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke. How ya doin’?”

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Andrew: “Hey-hey, ho-ho-ho-ho.”

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Andrew: “History is not gonna be on my side when it comes to the air conditioner wars.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. It’s just, it’s just what I like and what I don’t like.”

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Andrew: “I know, but it gets complicated.”

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Andrew: “I loved playing with fake trucks and real dirt.”

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Andrew: “I was pretty eye-rolly with him.”

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Andrew: “I’m such a weird, weird-ass, picky eater.”

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Andrew: “It was so good. It was so damn good.”

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Andrew: “It’s a Hidden Valley Ranch in my mouth.”

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Andrew: “Kids are turtling too much!”

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Andrew: “Like, cook as if I’m twelve.”

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Andrew: “Like, whatever.”

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Andrew: “Mayonnaise sandwich, or some shit.”

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Andrew: “Oh boy, let’s go. La-Di-Da, Cha-Cha-Cha.”

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Andrew: “Oh boy, let’s go. La-Di-Da, Cha-Cha-Cha.” #2

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Andrew: “Oh good, there’s salad! And then, somebody crumbled some sort of white and gray shitty cheese in here; and, you’re like, son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Dad.”

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Andrew: “Oh, hell yeah!”

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Andrew: “So, what’s, what’s a telephone?”

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Andrew: “Son of a bitch!”

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Andrew: “That was a weird thing to say.”

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Andrew: “That’s the one exception that proves the rule.”

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Andrew: “That’s the suburban Andrew in me.”

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Andrew: “Will you go in the hottub with me?”

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Andrew: “Will you go to prom with me?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew recommends Luke go “Sexy Beast” when the trench digger arrives

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s what they call 4-D theater, it really is just like… It was an (Yeah) immersive experience. Unfortunately, yeah, it was in Smell-O-Vision. Yes.”

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Andrew and Luke: Small Bites at the Throat Clearing Apple

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Andrew and Luke: “Somebody comes over here… This is the library at Howard University, what are you doing?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say it was a trenchant story? Oh, shit! Ohh!!! God, now! No, I deserve the applause on that one.”

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