Day: July 5, 2016

Andrew: “Cleveland: City of Winners?”

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Andrew: “Cleveland: City of Winners!”

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Andrew: “Go, go do it to it, my dude.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. That’s part of my past, Luke. I’m all about the future.”

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Andrew: “I flushed it. I was a good Scotty.”

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Andrew: “I just love Google Image Search, I’ll often do that during the show. You say something and then I look it up pictures of it, and it keeps me centered.”

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Andrew: “I like the fact that you are also worried about the apocalypse, like, ‘How am I gonna get my money in the afterlife?!!'”

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Andrew: “I ran out of Twinkie talk.”

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Andrew: “I’m a Browns fan, I want the Browns to win.”

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Andrew: “If I hit this and it sounds like some sort of Goth music, then I’m never talking about music again on the show.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Listen, this makes me–God damn”

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Andrew: “Mind over matter, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Rrrrr-rrrrr”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: Snorting #3

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Andrew: Stretched out “Yeah”

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Andrew: “That ain’t me babe, that ain’t me.”

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Andrew: “That is amazing!”

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Andrew: “That’s basically my attitude when it comes to the Cleveland Browns: Laugh or Go Crazy.”

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Andrew: “Well, at least the monsters won.”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “Who’s going to get that? Who’s the mother-rrrur who’s gonna get that?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, oh right!”

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Andrew: “You know, they tell you that the breathing exercises during childbirth for lamaze help childbirth. That was also bullshit. And, that was the end of her e-mail.”

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Andrew: “You’re doing it wrong!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “And any, any cup is eligible as long as it doesn’t have a motor on it. That’s ri–It’s a Race to Alaska joke. See, I laugh at your jokes. Even when they’re awful.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asks Luke to channel some Steve Nelson

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew tells a Star Trek joke

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Andrew and Luke: Cleveland: City of Winners

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Andrew and Luke: “What do you call the betting ticket? Umm, opening day. Yeah, save it for opening mic night, dude.”

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Luke: Chuckle

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Hello, my, my winner friend.”

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Luke: “I’m, I’m, I’m walking on sunshine, Walsh.”

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Luke: “It’s peak Ketchikan everyone. Get used to it.”

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Luke: Laughing at his own joke

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Luke: “Let’s turn the frown upside-down.”

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Luke: “Oh my God in heaven.”

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Luke: “Rrrrr-rrrrr”

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Luke: “The, the tuna that’s out there, bro.”

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Luke: “They sat down, they started, they started to dazzle with their deuts, and… That sounds like a euphemism for having at themselves.”

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Luke: “We should pinch this conversation off.”

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Luke and Andrew: Alaska Airlines App and Redfin

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Luke and Andrew: “Cleveland: City of Winners. City of Winners?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “God dang, this is off-topic and probably… That’s alright, I ran out of Twinkie talk. I’ve got 40 solid years of Twinkie talk. ‘What other food would look weird after a while?’ That’s all I got.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have a heart, Andrew. I know. I’ve two, I have two earholes and a heart.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke wept when his upgraded flight got cancelled

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Luke and Andrew: Pronouncing “Worcestershire Sauce” in different ways

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Luke and Andrew: “Speaking of ingredients, by the way, that people use in BMs, um… Come on, man.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a really nice seat. I love to get into that seat, if I could. That is amazing!”

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Luke and Andrew: The head of the pen-is that is Florida

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what? Let’s, let’s, let’s, let’s turn that frown upside down. Let’s turn that rrrrr-rrrrr upside-down. Rrrrr-rrrrr.”

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Andrew: “Are you kidding me?!?”

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Andrew: “But, the majority of my brain was just like, ‘Oh, Andrew, you idiot! Just, grr, grr, argh!'”

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Andrew: “Can you, um, will you permit me to play”

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Andrew: “Cowabunga, dude.”

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Andrew: Flat “What?”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank.”

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Andrew: “How dare other people have podcasts.”

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Andrew: “I was just like, ‘Yes! F yes, Arya!'”

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Andrew: “I was raised on Turtle Island, by the way. Cowabunga, dude. It was, it was a water park in Ohio. Umm…”

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Andrew: “It’s more of a Ketchi-can’t.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing #5

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “I like it.”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho shit! No, on bass. Are you shitting me!?!”

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Andrew: “Power, fucking, out.”

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Andrew: “Richie McBoatface”

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Andrew: Sing-songy “What?”

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Andrew: “Tech people are so meta.”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “You know what? Now I hear it. Now I hear it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then, essentially his… what, what would be his relation to him. His sis, his sis-his aunt? Daenerys’s aunt? The music ended. Yeah, that’s probably a sign. This was good. Power, fucking, out.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is there anything else that you love that we can destroy? Is there something we can ruin on a weekly basis for you? Cuz, we’re, we’re, we’re in the market.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’ll be your ex-woif. My former woif!”

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Andrew and Luke: “The music ended. Yeah, that’s probably a sign.”

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Andrew and Luke: “The music ended. Yeah, that’s probably a sign. This was good. Power, fucking, out.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Which is, apparently, something he and his brother, Wun Wun, can do. Aww-ho… Wun Wun… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it… I know, I know it’s sad to bring up… Aww.”

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Luke: “A bear, who had no idea what, what it was about to enter: Luke’s World of slash fic.”

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Luke: “Andrew, if I did it… which is gonna be the name of my book I release about this helicopter…”

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Luke: “Don’t fuck with a guy driving a Toyota Yaris, because he has literally nothing to lose. It’s like… She doesn’t even want to be alive. She is Danny Glover personified.”

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Luke: “I think people, I think people used to say, ‘I’ve unleashed the power within.'”

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Luke: “The 100 percent predictable outcome when people walk on red-hot, fiery coals at a Tony Robbins empowerment convention. The predictable outcome, that you could have predicted, predictably occurred.”

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Luke: “The struggle is real.”

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Luke: “When Team Mad Dog steamed into the Victoria Harbour, the first thing they said, apparently, they were, they were way ahead of everybody, the first thing they said was, ‘A fucking helicopter almost chopped our boat in half.'”

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Luke: “You know, uh, earmuffs, I guess, if you’re a kid.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do we think that people really were trying to take selfies on the burning coals… Oh, of course! Are you kidding me?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I’m not into, I’m not into motivational speaking, other than (I know what…) ‘Living Unreasonably in Unreasonable Times’.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m, I’ll tell you what, man. I am, I am a fan of Ketchikan, Alaska. I’m, glad to hear it.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke found a lifehack when it comes to recording the podcart from hotel rooms

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Luke and Andrew: “The details of this story dazzle me to my core, Andrew. I am so d–Yes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The Wi-Fi here is a totem pole. It’s a peace pole, Luke. Get it straight.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what I’m trying to do, Andrew? I’m trying to be a Ketchikan, not a Ketchi-can’t. I like it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, uh, earmuffs, I guess, if you’re a kid and, uh, you don’t yet know about prostitution. Umm… But, you know what? Isn’t it better to hear it from us?”

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Andrew: “And, I don’t want people going back there and being like, ‘Hey look, it’s a, it’s a sandbox where animals shit'”

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Andrew: “But, but, there’s a chance that somebody peed in the litter box.”

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Andrew: “De Tore!”

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Andrew: “He’s a sweet guy. I don’t want to run him down.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what happened!!! It doesn’t make sense and it’s driving me crazy!”

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Andrew: “I love bookstore cats.”

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Andrew: “If you don’t like the answers, that’s not my fault.”

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Andrew: “Oh, it’s a pool sample.”

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Andrew: “Quick question: who, who kicked the cat out?”

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Andrew: “Right!?!?”

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Andrew: Singing “Luke left the dog in!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is continuing with his pool sample joke

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you saying, you, you can’t let the dog out? Can’t? Can’t? You son-of-a…”

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Andrew and Luke: Going back to White Settlement

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Andrew and Luke: “Have a serious question for you right off the bat here, right at the top, serious question. I’m ready. Are you saying, you, you can’t let the dog out? Can’t? Can’t? You son-of-a… Just asking! I just ask the questions. If you don’t like the answers, that’s not my fault.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, can I ask you a really dumb question right now? Yeah. Can you hear me? Yeah. So, if we’re having… clearly we’re talking!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna have the dookers pay for it. That’s right. That’s my plan.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke laughing at President George H. W. Bush’s tweet from July 2015 while Andrew is speaking

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Andrew and Luke: “Um, I… I don’t… think… this happened? But, but, there’s a chance that somebody peed in the litter box. I don’t know what happened!!! It doesn’t make sense and it’s driving me crazy!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, I, I’m just taking a much more Burbankian stance on this because… Ooh, I like that.”

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Luke: “At Club Tropicana, drinks are free, fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone.”

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Luke: “Boy oh boy. Boy oh boy oh boy!”

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Luke: Gasping

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Luke: “He’s a Cuyahoga Clam”

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Luke: “I don’t know the secret handshake.”

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Luke: “I, uh, yes, I, I, I, I, I let the dog in; or, I kept the dog in.”

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Luke: “I’m not anti-cat.”

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Luke: “Luke trapped the dog in, blocked the dog in.”

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Luke: Mangled pronunciation of “Worcestershire”

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Luke: “Oh God, speaking of blocks and blocking out the haters”

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Luke: Singing: “Everyday I hear a different story, people sayin’ that you’re no good for me”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke let or kept the dog in

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Luke and Andrew: “Sorry, I’m just gonna unload for–Just go!”

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