Day: October 30, 2016

Andrew: “Ah, I… God, that rings a vague bell. I wasn’t a huge Rogers head.”

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Andrew: “But, I know what you’re thinking right now guys. You’re thinking, ‘Aww, shit. I hear Andrew’s voice first, that means Luke’s not on the show today. It’s gonna be another Andrew-fest.’ Well, you couldn’t be more wrong. Luke is on the show today, guys. He’s just joining us by phone. Apparently, from a parking lot, outside an airport in Florida… like any upstanding citizen.”

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Andrew: “By the way, the first person who Facebook posts about it properly pronounced ‘Jif,’ I’m, I’m un-friending you and blocking you from the podcast.”

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Andrew: “How many of the people you fly with, just prove themselves to be assholes at some point during the plane?”

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Andrew: “I just highly doubt it”

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Andrew: “I say this with all love”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Nah, we’re gonna kick it up a thousand notches”

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Andrew: “The two, the two last word pictures you just painted for me are definitely out of something like that.”

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Andrew: “This is what we train for!”

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Andrew: “Uh, uh, guys! Going back to my ethics class in journalism school”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew: “You won’t believe what happened on this flight today!”

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Andrew: “You’re lying! Get that dog outta here!”

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Luke: “As is often the case when one of us is doing the show from a parked car somewhere, I’m getting a little nervous about the security staff at this marina in Hollywood, Florida where I am.”

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Luke: “Can’t stop, won’t start. Or, what the hell ever, however that phrase goes”

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Luke: “Dodge Journey Forward [sic]“

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Luke: “I don’t know what it was, like, Glengarry Glen Ross shit”

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Luke: “I just want to make GIFs of Pee-Wee!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Pappo, that’s right. I love it when you call him Big Pappo.”

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Luke: Singing “With Andrew, you should have your order more ready, at the deli. With Andrew, don’t park in the disabled parking spot if you’re (???)“

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Luke: “So, I’m sitting in this Dodge Journey Forward [sic]“

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Luke: “That sends me into a, a real Andrew state of mind”

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Luke: “That was a double negative. That was a lot of Ds, dude.”

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Luke: “The car is a Journey Forward! [sic]“

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Luke: “There are feral cats everywhere… and they are so cute!”

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Luke: “Wow! I… my new favorite thing to say is: Wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everything’s coming up Walsh-house! Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think this is called a Dodge Journey Forward. [sic] Journey Forward?!? That’s optimistic.”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “Well… first of all, are you telling me you don’t eat your hamburger with chopsticks? No, I do; but, I was describing myself in that scenario.”

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Andrew: “As you know, I’m a big morning person, that’s why we did the show at the crack of, just like, the crack of dawn yesterday at, like, 10 AM; or, some crazy thing like that.”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I don’t have words to describe it”

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Andrew: “I get bent out of shape sometimes when people are kind of like, ‘I threw my phone across the room when Andrew got a fact wrong.’ Oh my God, I need a thicker skin”

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Andrew: “I’m not kidding”

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Andrew: “It was amazing!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Of the dumb shit I say on this show, I’m oddly embarrassed about that one; cuz, all these people, there’s an ongoing thread on Facebook… ‘Has anyone told Andrew, yet, that the election was in 2000 and not 2001?'”

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Andrew: “Oh, no.”

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Andrew: “Sorry if I’m a little slappy”

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Andrew: “Umm… Yeah. Uhhh, I’m…. I’m, I’m gonna say one quick thing”

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Andrew: “Wait… What the hell is this?”

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Andrew: “Well, you promised me! So, that was my imitation of me, by the way; which, is accurate.”

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Andrew: “What the fuck did I just watch?”

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Andrew: “What’s wrong with Andrew”

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Andrew: “When you said that guy, everybody was hoping you meant Chris Hayes”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow.”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow. That’s, this is… God, I’m glad I don’t work in TV. I’m not kidding.”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you there? There, I’ve been there. I done been there. You’ve always been there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “What ocean is that in? Andrew… I swear to God, it is too late, here in Puerto Rico, for me to be answering ocean-related questions.”

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Luke: “And, tell you… about Andrew, Chris Hayes and the Stu-bot’s trip into viral… Twitter-dom today”

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Luke: “Euugh, what’s going on with them?”

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Luke: “How about, what’s wrong with Luke?”

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Luke: “I know that’s a lot of Ps, dude. I know that’s a lot of Ps, pal.”

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Luke: “I use the name Ked, because it matters.”

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Luke: “I wish I could’ve given you a better episode. I can’t…”

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Luke: “I’ve piña colada’d it away”

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Luke: “Silver lining alert: You’re not losing your mind”

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Luke: “Snitches get stitches”

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Luke: “Well, I ain’t no Holloware girl”

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Luke: “Well, that’s eleven minutes that you’ll never get back as a listener”

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Luke and Andrew: “At this point, my hair is more spun sugar than it is hair. Paint your bald spot? I, I don’t wear a wig. Paint your bald spot? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay, (I don’t wear a wig) let’s not go there. Let’s not, let’s not take something that was funny and just ruin it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But a couple of weeks ago, Pappo went radio silent. Is Pappo related to Bear?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t think Pappo is gonna be at the coconut factory! Who are you interviewing? We don’t even know! Son of Pappo. Son of Pappo. Son of a Pappo, neither me or the producer speak passable Spanish, Andrew. Oh, no.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re hearing this on Wednesday, you are a time traveler. (Mmm-hmm) And, we all worship you as a god living on this planet; because, you shouldn’t be hearing this show on Wednesday.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s good news for Hayes. Yes. Bad news for Walshski.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts… Say it! (We really appreciate it) Say it! You heard, (You wanna say it) you heard me considering it. Say it! Thank you from the Steve Bartman from our hearts.”

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Luke and Andrew: “We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. By that time, in the space-time continuum of this program, I will have been to Cuba with Dave Ross over six times. You didn’t tell me about this! Well, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t over promise on Cuba, as it relates to you.”

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