Clips From TBTL #2596

Andrew: Clearing his throat

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Andrew: “Don’t speak”

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Andrew: Drawn out “It is!”

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Andrew: “I can’t take it. I can’t take the tone!!”

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Andrew: “I dunno, man”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Nope!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, ‘Kiss Me’!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I love this song! Are you shitting me! Shit on a log!”

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Andrew: Saying “Well, actually, Luke” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Shit on a log”

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Andrew: “They almost did get my motherbleepin’ cats off the mother…bleepin’… plane, like ten years ago”

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Andrew and Luke: “I like to add Rs to things now. Mmm-hmm… That a new thing you’re trying? Mmm-hmm”

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Andrew and Luke: “Papers have been signed… Checks (Ooh!) have been written… Checks are getting ready to be bounced. It’s all happening, (Mmm-hmm) my friend”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “And you say… I never nap when I want to” over Lisa Loeb’s “Stay”

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Luke: “Classic K-Lo”

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Luke: Drawn out “Oh, yeah!”

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Luke: “He is… the soulful rocker from New Hampshire. He’s Andrew Walsh and he joins us now… from the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, Washington… for now!”

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Luke: “Hey, now”

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Luke: “Holy shit!”

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Luke: “I know that’s a lotta Ps, dude”

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Luke: “I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’, I’m tryin'”

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Luke: Making dot matrix printer sounds

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Luke: Making modem sounds

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Luke: Saying “My father was a low-grade narcolept with a penchant for buggery” in a snooty, British accent

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Luke: Saying “Piqué” with a Texas drawl

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Luke: Singing the riff from Elastica’s “Connection”

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Luke: Singing the riff from The Wire’s “Three Girl Rhumba”

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Luke: “Six P… N the R”

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Luke: “Somebody better get these motherbleepin’ cats off this motherbleepin’ plane”

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Luke: “That’s… that’s very Luke Burbank”

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Luke: “What about, ‘doggam father mucker’?”

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Luke: “You’re getting Paula Cole-der”

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Luke and Andrew: “How many cocaines did I have before the show? How many, how many cocaines did you have? (Apparently, too many)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, get that guy on Live Wire, will yas? Get, get that show on my show! Come on!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow. You’re gonna mansplain this to me, huh? I’m gonna Wikisplain this to you”

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Clips From TBTL #2595

Andrew: “But, it just seems like such a bullshit thing to say; and, I dunno why it gets under my skin, but it does”

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Andrew: “But, it really, really irks me… really gets under my skin, really chaps my ass and it really frosts my balls”

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Andrew: “I felt like the biggest phony baloney”

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Andrew: “I’ll bring it down a thousand percent!!”

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Andrew: “Net of Twitter accountability”

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Andrew: “Oomp-springa”

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Andrew: “So, I probably should just shut my mouth and let people have their opinions”

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Andrew: “There is something that is going on”

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Andrew: “This is not the first time puttering has gotten me in trouble”

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Andrew: “What’s the number one rule of working with the Burbs!?”

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Andrew: “You son of a… You get outta here! Get! Get!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can I get an ‘Amen’? (Amen) I’ll give you an ‘Amen’ on that (Thank you)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey! I am going to take this in a really weird, somewhat aggressive place… Alright”

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Andrew and Luke: “I like the idea of you wrapping up your story on the kayak. I hope you do a take of that. Like, I don’t, I don’t know how these things work. Do you usually wrap ’em up in the studio for your final words? Boy, you just blew your future in broadcast journalism. Oh, shit”

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Andrew and Luke: “My… God! It is so temperate outside! (Mmm-hmm) It it like temperate-ageddon out there! I’ve never seen… a more disturbingly (Early show title!) peaceful day!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You would’ve pitched something, that’s for sure! But, it wouldn’t (Hey-oh) have been a fund drive”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Did I do that”

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Luke: “I am…. blissfully unaware”

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Luke: “I hope it is, anyway; because, that’s what the weather says… it’s supposed to happen on Tuesday… but, I’m actually recording this on Monday”

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Luke: “I would have, I would just… pitched a shit-fit”

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Luke: “I’ll calm down a million percent!!”

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Luke: Saying “Guarantee” in a funny manner

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Luke: “So, do not… retread that shit for this show… I got no problem retreading”

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Luke: “That is not the point of this story… this story has no point”

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Luke: “There’s a guy whose job is just clip the microphone… There’s a… make-up person, there’s a hair person… None of it works, by the way. I still just look like… just look like an Oompa Loompa who escaped from the factory; and, is now talking about cloning dogs”

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Luke: “Welcome to the Internet thing that is… a Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL”

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Clips From TBTL #2594

Andrew: “All I’ve done is… piss and moan and grouse about it myself… that’s not making the world a better place either”

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Andrew: “Boom goes the dynamite”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: Having a good laugh #2

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Andrew: “Holy crap!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know my New Yorks very well”

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Andrew: “I will admit this: it’s a very specific fetish… but, it’s ours”

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Andrew: “I’d take that”

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Andrew: “Is this guy that fucking fascinating? Is he just such a good friend?”

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Andrew: “It was just… ridiculous”

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Andrew: “No pointing!”

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Andrew: “Pullet with putterfly wings”

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Andrew: Saying “Guess what I did” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing “The world is a vampire”

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Andrew: “That’s just so un-fun!”

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Andrew: “You know, you gotta be careful these days, Luke”

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Andrew: “You tricked me into singing. I hate you”

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Andrew and Luke: “Also, though… I am crouching… my arms are crossed and my head is kind of resting on your table… Oh, no!”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “They think I’m in here asking for a wallet… Look around like you’re trying to find a wallet. I’m doing… a Tribe Called Quest joke; by which, I mean a De La Soul joke… They’re from… they’re from Strong Island, aren’t they?” through their teeth

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, no. I could use a good stare… Couldn’t we all”

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Luke: “And then, when the nice weather comes, then you blossom… like… the putt–the butterfly… Or, in your case… the putterfly”

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Luke: “And, then… can I bore you… actually, you won’t be bored, just the listeners… with what I did yesterday… that was so exciting for me… that involved being outdoors”

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Luke: “Bruh!”

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Luke: “Corbin Bernsen, that’s a real person’s name”

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Luke: “Despite all my rage, I’m still on a train that’s low gauge”

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Luke: “Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday” (said on a Monday show)

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Luke: “Go… piss up a rope… you idiot”

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Luke: “How’s he doing it!?”

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Luke: “I feel like I can do anything!”

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Luke: “It’s not too early to get a perch sandwich”

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Luke: “Man, I got some fire takes! That’s not true”

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Luke: “Oh my goodness, everybody… it’s happening again!”

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Luke: “Oh, not to brag”

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Luke: “Sorry, no players. Work it out Belichick! Work it out, you wizard”

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Luke: “Thanks, Luvs!”

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Luke: “The Legion of… Whom?”

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Clips From TBTL #2593

Andrew: “And, I’m sorry that I’m being a pain in the ass about this”

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Andrew: “Holy shit… are you the kid from Bob’s Burgers?”

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Andrew: “I was very much, just, a… much cooler, kinda… ponytail… rocker-outer back then”

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Andrew: “It’s in Quipton, baby!!”

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Andrew: “It’s in Quipton, baby!! We’re moving to Quipton!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “No, no, no. I messed that up. It’s cocksquanches…. not squanchtails”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, it’s her birthday. That’s what happened”

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Andrew: Saying “Nooo!” in a drawn out, slo-mo manner

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, I think we should just go with the Doog”

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Andrew: “Yeah, who cares. Like, nobody’s gonna come attack me”

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Andrew: “You have a show sheet she shed?”

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Andrew: “You know, the Church of Perch”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew whispering the names of the Donors of the Day over the line so that Luke can thank them

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you want to hear what my reservations are; or, am I just taking (Yes) this to Borington too quickly?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I loved the fact that I would open up my windows and literally look out into a brick wall, on to a brick wall. Have I ever told you that? I think that’s the first time that sentence has ever been uttered… (I’d, I’d literally) in human history”

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Andrew and Luke: She sheds and hen dens

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Andrew and Luke: “Stopping myself here; because, I did shit work… I did shit work… all the time; and, that was kind of the, the… I still do shit work. I mean, you heard this episode of the show? Most of that is on me”

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Andrew and Luke: “The day Thurston Moore helped me move… The day Thurston Moore help move my cats… Possible show title… by the way… Thurston Moore’s Moving Company”

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Luke: “An unforgettable evening… that I forgotten most of”

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Luke: “He is Andrew Walsh; and, he joins us now… from the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, Washington… for now!”

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Luke: “I think they’re fleek! I think they’re very fleek!”

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Luke: “If we can… I’m gonna clean out the e-mail… larder… and the v-mail… larder”

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Luke: Saying “You said you were gonna ring that bell” in a gruff manner

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Luke: Singing “The fleeks come out at night. The fleeks come out at night”

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Luke: “Yeah!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can we call your new house… The Mullet? Because, it’s business in the front and party in the back? Exactly”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you feel sorta squanched down? I felt like squanched down”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re just tuning into the show… for the first time… first of all… welcome. Second of all, sorry. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it near… my crying tree? No, I don’t think so. I can’t remember where you crying tree is… feel like it keeps moving… I feel like you have a lot of crying trees”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s a… a real squanchy opportunity (Yeah, no)”

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Clips From TBTL #2592

Andrew: “Because, objects at rest tend to stay at rest; especially… when those objects have to pay first and last month and a security deposit, and a moving company; and, everything that goes along… with the pain in the ass of moving”

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Andrew: “But, is he okay with being doxxed!?”

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Andrew: “By the way, I’ve probably never said it; but, congratulations on… you know… for getting out of that… one”

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Andrew: “Does it involve your dad bootlegging this for you?”

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Andrew: “Hey, leave my cat outta this!”

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Andrew: “How about this, then? How about, how about I lay another hot take on ya?”

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Andrew: “I dunno why I’m talking so much”

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Andrew: “I have no compunctions… about outing her on that. It is insane to me”

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Andrew: “Just Slack at me”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Lemme ask you this”

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Andrew: “Mucho bucks-o”

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Andrew: “My soul rejects it”

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Andrew: “Ohhh!!”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Saying “Tobe Cutter!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying a string of “Yeah”s

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Andrew: “That was coming from my toilet… and, not from the clean side of the toilet!”

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Andrew: Whispering “I did ‘Hey Dummies’ in the bathroom this week!”

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Andrew: “Witness me!!”

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Andrew: “Woife!!!”

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Andrew: “You just don’t get it, man!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey! Wow! So… this is how it happens, huh? I am your co-bro, for now! You’re coming to us from Wallingford, for now!”

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Andrew and Luke: Just beeping away

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Andrew and Luke: “Who knows, man. Spin the wheel… (Man!) Who knows where we’ll end up”

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Andrew and Luke: “You don’t donate until Shaun T tells you to… Your bank account is a board”

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Luke: “A-ha!”

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Luke: “And, to be honest with you and not to… make this gross”

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Luke: “Decline to Recline”

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Luke: “He’s Andrew Walsh; and, he joins us now from the Wallingford neighborhood… of Seattle, Washington… for now!”

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Luke: “I know that’s in… probably Return of the Jedi; but, just go with me people! Stop riding me!”

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Luke: “I’m from Seattle!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, Snooki!”

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Luke: “Oh, yes, yes, yes”

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Luke: “Peace!!”

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Luke: Saying “The new Dodge Dakota… All the torque you’ll need… and still get you home in style” in a manner of a truck commercial voice-over

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Luke: “Sí, señor”

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Luke: Singing “Tobe Cutter”

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Luke: “The world is your oyster!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have a bottle of Coke Zero here on the desk… no lid. Where’s the lid!? (I lied)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that, is that black ice? Is, is that (Yeah!) black ice? (Yup!) Is that black ice!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “More on that, by the way, in a moment. Had a little toilet clog here at the old Parker Méridien… (Oh, no!) Never a good time… for the… (No) for anybody… to be honest with you, for the clogger… or the… unclogger… (Oh, no) I would be the clogger”

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s (Yeah) an ‘R’ in there, somewhere! (I know!) Who took the ‘R’!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “We call him, ‘Toe Cutter’… We call him, ‘Tobe Cutter'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, you do some of your best work in the bathroom; and, I don’t mean… (Mmm-hmm) going number two”

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Clips From TBTL #2591

Andrew: “And then, here’s the one to, kinda, bring up the nose on the negativity train again”

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Andrew: “But, just like, getting rid of the constant… the constant, ‘Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!’ as been just so, I mean, it’s just so freeing”

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Andrew: Coughing

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Andrew: “Have you met me?”

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Andrew: “I hear nothing… I hear nothing but your tales… of shoe-ventures”

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Andrew: “I th–think you have the completely wrong takeaway here… We got a new listener because people booed you”

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Andrew: “I think I’m really taking this to Tedium Town”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh!!”

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Andrew: “Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping”

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Andrew: Saying “‘Ello, Mrs. Torrance” as Tony from The Shining

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Andrew: “Shove the boos where the… sun don’t shine… ya jerks!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Thinking about calling people ‘bozo’ more”

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Andrew: “This would all just be… water off my back like a duck. That’s not the expression. I am really… boy… that’s my new thing: destroying expressions”

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Andrew: “Watch that first step. It’s a doozy”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the show, new sponsor, The Shoe Parlor”

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Andrew: “Welcome to the world of us berating listeners”

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Andrew: “You’re booing because I’m a ghost! That’s good. There! I just solved the problem. That doesn’t even make any sense”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I gotta give it to… über-listener Linh Pham for having the best spoof. He tweeted at Chris Hayes last night and said… ‘Are you sure you were singing that; or, just playing the file down the line?’ Which is a… (The same thought I was having…) very… very good question. Exact thought I was having… Linh and I… always on the same page. Great minds, thinking alike.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did you say, ‘steamed lambs’? And, we have our first… albeit, somewhat upsetting, show title”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, how’s your podcast!? Exactly”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s a power out, man! Hell, yeah”

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Luke: “Agh! I did it again!”

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Luke: “And, ol’ Needlenose Burbank”

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Luke: “Give me a three-oh-five and ten! Three-oh-five and ten!”

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Luke: “I can’t function in this city… for the next two days in these shoes”

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Luke: “I eat stickers… every day”

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Luke: “Luuuuuuke!”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I’m your host; coming to you today… from New York Jersey! (New York City!?)”

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Luke: Saying “It’s… it’s no joke!” in a Pennsylvania or Philly accent

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Luke: Singing “Welcome to my shoe parlor”

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Luke: “Somewhere upstairs… there’s a poor… summabitch… Sorry, McCoy”

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Luke: “That sounds promising”

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Luke: “That’s a Utica thing… I think”

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Luke: “Who are you to tell me what to do!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, I’ve been trying to, like… kind of, carefully pack and not over-pack; because, there just wasn’t a lotta room… Yeah, if you bring too pairs of shoes, you can only bring four electric toothbrushes… Shout out to sponsor, Quip!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I consider myself a Maxxinista. Mmh”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey. A kiddley divey too, will you?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Out of context… happiness… Out of context… jockularity… Out of context… invites to come play with us, Danny. Ha!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You did Donors of the Day yesterday, right? Yeah. You know, I was about say, now did I mark them on the spreadshee though”

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