Author: Linh Pham

Luke: “Andrews are so… loud!”

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Luke: “Are they gonna come to Shoreline? Is Shoreline even a real place?”

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Luke: “Aw, shit, it’s the Mario Lopez channel!”

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Luke: “Cuz, I, I don’t wanna just be sitting in here with my… feelings”

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Luke: “Do you know the difference, Rudy… between a valance and a jabot? And, yes… America… she sitting right behind me. Can you hear her whining? She doesn’t want to be in here”

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Luke: “Find me the person who’s most… hyphy about the holidays. Just, like, over the top. Just going… ba-nuts on it”

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Luke: “Have you ever locked a bathroom door in your life?”

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Luke: “I live in Bellingham. I don’t know if… Don’t… don’t blame me”

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Luke: “I… went for door number two”

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Luke: “I’m the guy who washes his hands!”

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Luke: “Like, he is smelling the rankest fart of all time”

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Luke: “Oh, we’ve got an e-mail frenzy for you. Tons and tons of e-mails we gotta get through”

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Luke: “Put down the tongs! Put down the tongs, turn around, hands were I can see them”

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Luke: Saying “Something was arriving” as Borat

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Luke: Saying “Tell them… my mother, number one prostitute, left the light on for you” as Borat

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Luke: “Some of my best friends are podcasters”

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Luke: “That’s a ‘YP’ not an ‘MP'”

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Luke and Andrew: “God, I gotta get a helicopter. You really do (Or something) If nothing else, just for status. Absolutely… What do you get for the man who already has two boats he shouldn’t have? A helicopter”

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Luke and Andrew: “I know, we sorta need to move on here (Yeah, we do)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thinks that Andrew thinks a lot of mean things about himself

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Luke and Andrew: “Ooh… Oh, snap, you went there Paris. And, I thought that was just kind of like a funny thing for her to say. Your internal monologue so sassy. It really is”

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Luke and Andrew: “The Ides of March and the smells of Thanksgiving (Yes)”

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Andrew: “Alright… T-Bone”

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Andrew: “And, the cats… think I’m just an asshole; and, I might be”

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Andrew: “Before you think I’m a snob… I am an Andrew”

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Andrew: “But, man, I just woke up so… goddamn grumpy today!”

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Andrew: “Clean Boys, mount up!”

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Andrew: Coming into the show hot and thinking that Luke is faking the dog sounds

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Andrew: “God, rednecks are so loud! Geez!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what happened! I honestly don’t”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be a bummer”

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Andrew: “I just went to a site, just on the fly here”

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Andrew: “I think that really depends”

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Andrew: “I was just kind of like… being whiny in my head. You know what I mean?”

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Andrew: “I will… I will cut my own arm off before I will do this podcast with a bowl of warming milk… sitting across from me. Like, my brain does not let me do that”

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Andrew: “It’s gonna sound… like I’m making a joke… but, I’m actually being serious”

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Andrew: Making air horn sounds

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Andrew: “Must! Get! Clean!”

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Andrew: “Nah. Idle hands, in that case, are, are no friend of mine”

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Andrew: “Oh, are we? Really!?”

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Andrew: “Save your e-mails, everybody!”

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Andrew: Saying “I don’t know!” while laughing

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Andrew: “Somebody balance your washing machine! Like… what the hell? I want my money back, SoundBible!”

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Andrew: “Spoiler alert for your life”

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Andrew: “That’s how I’m starting this show. Coming in… hot”

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Andrew: “These are horrible people. Like, just horrible people, too”

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Andrew: “You can’t be in here, cuz I’m gonna start my podcast! There don’t like that”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are we ready to do these dogs? Why does every sound effect you play sound like a turkey gobble? I don’t know! I just went to a site, just on the fly here”

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Andrew and Luke: “Extra soap for me, please; cuz, I’m a clean boy! (Exactly)”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s me and Blair Walsh. Exactly. Oof… Save it. Bottle it… and, we’ll talk about… the… impending blood feud between me and the Stu-bot; which, I will not forget about”

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Andrew: “Again, leaving this all in”

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Andrew: “But, somebody freakin’ dinged him on it!”

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Andrew: “But… go have a great life”

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Andrew: “God, our friends have weird names!”

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Andrew: “Hey, good news!”

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Andrew: “Holy shit! I had not seen that angle of my baldness before”

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Andrew: “I can worry about fucking anything, man”

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Andrew: “I think I revert to being a child when I go to the doctor”

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Andrew: “I’m already worried that they are gonna put me under; and, I’m gonna say awful things”

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Andrew: “I’m also seeing some of the options here. Somebody added, ‘Okay, Linh Pham… start Marsupial Gurgling… us… is?’ I dunno. That one doesn’t make a lot of sense to me; but, I wanted to give Linh a shout out.”

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Andrew: “I’m so sorry everybody”

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Andrew: “In the kindest, but most fuck-off voice possible”

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Andrew: “Is this something that’s just gonna dog me the rest of my life?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Matt Jones doesn’t care about TBTL!”

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Andrew: Mimicking the Seinfeld bass transitions

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Andrew: “My mindset was now: a nervous man who also felt really full, and gross, and fat”

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Andrew: “No touching!!”

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Andrew: “Nuh-uh, you just started!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ! Yeah”

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Andrew: “Oh! Somebody took my teeth out”

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Andrew: Saying “Because, that woulda been weird” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “Sneaking vapes”

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Andrew: “Sorry”

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Andrew: “There. This is how progress happens! We… make… deals!”

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Andrew: “To be brave and… twenty-three again”

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Andrew: “Well… you know… you were there, it didn’t… go great”

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Andrew and Luke: “You really covered your ass there as a journalist. Yeah, I have to.”

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Luke: “A-Bone says, ‘Helloooo!'”

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Luke: “Cool!”

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Luke: “Enough about me… enough of this dribble-drabble”

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Luke: “I’m sorry that I said bad things to you while I was… out of it”

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Luke: “I’ve got hot takes on every sort of travel expense management system known to man!”

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Luke: “Muzak is like barf bag”

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Luke: “Oh my goodness gracious”

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Luke: “Rudy, have you ever even seen a chicken?”

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Luke: “Sick!”

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Luke: “We got one!”

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Luke: “Whoa! What’s going on with my head!!?”

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Luke: “Whoa! What’s going on with Walsh’s head?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Be the Dudamel you wanna see. Yeah, draw the Dudamel you wanna see on the website”

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Luke and Andrew: Whispering “Andrew. What’s up, Luke? (What’s going on?) They’ll never notice that we didn’t do Top Stories. Cuz, we seamlessly went into the e-mail sounder. I think we pulled it off… The perfect crime.”

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