Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And, I’m trying to read as I talk. I’m gonna… put this down. I’ll just hope that I’ll get most of the details right from my memory”

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Andrew: “Anyway, I’m just chilling. I’m just chilling, Luke!”

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Andrew: “But, like, I guess I still have, kind of, like a, ‘Ugh, God! I’m going to watch… people just… treat each other like meat… that they hate.’ I’ve never hated meat that much… I don’t know why I said it that way”

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Andrew: “Hey, asshole”

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Andrew: “Hey, dude. Nice tongue… Can we have a piece of it?”

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Andrew: “How do–wait… WTF. What were you falling down on this?”

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Andrew: “I didn’t even remember it until you brought it up! Oh, wait”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I was saying… I was just trying to look for segues… and, I failed”

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Andrew: “I killed a wasp today, by the way. I thought about you”

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Andrew: “I’m not good at the Internet”

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Andrew: “It does not bother me”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Wow”

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Andrew and Luke: “If you’re dinging me for long–wrong terminology, that’s one thing; but… (I’m not dinging you at all. You’re not being dinged!) Okay… alright (Andrew… just chill)”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s why I was going hard during the TBTL-a-Thon. I was like, (Yeah!) ‘Who’s gonna pay for this shit?'”

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Luke: “Boy, if you were chill now, wait ’til I say this. This may really… this may rock you out of your chill-dom”

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Luke: “Hello, my co-bro”

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Luke: “Here I am… Rock me like a Thera Cane everybody”

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Luke: “Hunh! That sounds like a hard maybe”

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Luke: “I didn’t mean to rock you out of your chill-dom… like a Thera Cane”

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Luke: “If it’s too loud, you’re too old!”

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Luke: “Like, we were just two bros… hugging it out”

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Luke: Saying “You don’t get the show!!” as Dan Le Batard

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Luke: Singing “Happy birthday to you”

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Luke: Singing a different take on “Happy birthday to you”

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Luke: “The Lusty Lady?”

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Luke: “The Lusty Lady of Liberty?”

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Luke: “This sounds anti-art of me; and, I apologize”

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Luke: “What am I doing?”

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Luke: “What do you say… he of the… he of the pink inked note… first of his name?”

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Luke and Andrew: “How are you on this Friday, my friend? I’m pretty good… just chilling. I have a dentist appointment (Yeah) in a little bit. That always makes me a little nervous… (I’ve never known you to chill, at all, under in any circumstances) Well, I was trying to be light”

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Luke and Andrew: “If it’s too hard, they’re too young; I think is what they say (Is that an expression?)”

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Andrew: “Ah, get over it. It’s the Fourth of July”

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Andrew: “By the way, I’m editing the dead fly out of this picture you sent me, if that’s okay. I’m gonna blur it… It’s very graphic”

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Andrew: “Chop busty”

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Andrew: “Don’t weaponize your drops, Luke”

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Andrew: “Ha-haa! I got away with it”

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Andrew: “I can eat a hot dog pretty quickly; but, that’s just out of… gluttony and enjoyment”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna… be too serious here… or take away the fun”

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Andrew: “I’m just a big, walking… bag of insecurities today, Luke. I don’t know why”

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Andrew: “It’s our nation’s Blursday”

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Andrew: “‘Murica, fuck yeah!”

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Andrew: “Nope… Can’t do it”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, that’s go gross!”

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Andrew: “Ohh! Tell me about this”

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Andrew: Singing “You’re not the”, clears his throat and says “I’ll stop it there”

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Andrew: “Viva la Black Cats”

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Andrew: “Why am I… going into insulting accents?”

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Andrew: “You can dress just like us! That’s not weird”

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Andrew and Luke: “Know what I mean? Notice me, Senpai (I ‘unno. I ‘unno)”

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Andrew and Luke: “We can’t… First of all, is this the very first time that… the show, we’ve… actually killed one of God’s creatures on the show? Do you consider a fly God’s creature? I didn’t say it was a just God”

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Andrew and Luke: “What are you doing on my turf!? There’s a line for everything all of a sudden! Everything’s crowded! Right”

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Luke: “And, so, I whapped him”

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Luke: “And, to my… horror”

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Luke: “At some point… during the show… you’re just gonna… hear me, like… yelp with joy… because, I’ve just… dispatched the fly”

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Luke: “Can we be more… coastal elite snowflakes?”

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Luke: “Get a grip, Burbank”

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Luke: “I can’t believe I’m trying to take it back to politics… no good reason for that”

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Luke: “I just gonna [sic] tell you right out of the gate… this is gonna be a weird… episode of the show”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Let’s pay the iron and wine price”

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Luke: “Life’s a party. Rock your body, everybody!”

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Luke: “Maybe, I’m just crazy”

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Luke: “Not only… have I stopped the ravages of time… I’m getting stronger!”

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Luke: “Not to brag… but, I am officially… old”

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Luke: “Pretty fly for some fly guts”

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Luke: “Show’s over, guys!!!”

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Luke: “Sorry about the allergies, everyone. They back”

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Luke: Swatting a fly and saying “Okay, now… You guys! Oh my God, I gotta… By the way, today’s my Blursday”

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Luke: “The iron price is not… currently accepting Titcoin… is what I think the takeaway is”

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Luke: “There is a fly buzzing around… here inside the… Burbank Springs Broadcast Center… and, it is making me… crazy”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, we have our show pic… Nope”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is the part where two white guys in their 40s break down Cardi B lyrics (Yeah. Here we go)”

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Andrew: “All hot dogs are sausages… Not all sausages are hot dogs”

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Andrew: “But… also at home… I might have… two, maybe even three, hot dogs per sitting… Not to brag”

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Andrew: “Don’tcha know what goes into a hot dog?”

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Andrew: “Hey, let’s talk about hot dogs!”

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Andrew: “I am more of a traditionalist… so, I don’t know that I would order that… because, I’d be thinking about the hot dog I left behind; aka, mustard and ketchup… But, that thing is good”

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Andrew: “I apologize for being such a… whiny, McWhine Face about it”

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Andrew: “I can’t speak to the bear”

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Andrew: “I look at the menu. I look at all the options… and, then, I order the biggest one”

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Andrew: “I think that you should put anything on your hot dog that you want!”

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Andrew: “Is it, though?”

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Andrew: “Just a passing comment, Joe… we’re having lunch right now; and, I just made myself a hot dog sandwich with ketchup… very tasty… and almost unheard of in the old days”

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Andrew: Making a PA system crackle sound

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Andrew: “Now, I can hear the audience laughing at me. I mean, is it really cooking a hot dog if you just boil some water… and put some hot dogs in the water until they just begin to split? Maybe not”

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Andrew: Saying “Hot dogs” as Mickey Mouse

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Andrew: Saying “No, don’t! We’re gonna tax the podcast!” as King George

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah. Oh, yeah” in a deep voice

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Andrew: “See, I think that underscores the idea that hot dogs are… more of a… state of mind… You don’t even necessarily need the hot dog to have the hot dog experience”

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Andrew: “So, I think there is part of my monkey brain… that wants to pile as much stuff on this hot dog as possible”

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Andrew: “That’s like a snake in the grass waiting to bite ya!”

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Andrew: The first food that Andrew began to cook with was hot dogs

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Andrew: “We’ve killed a couple of these veggie dogs”

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Andrew: “Well, my first question for you is: how do we get away with this? How do we tell our bosses… that we wanna do a radio show, where we just get to stand in your backyard and cook… and, more importantly, eat hot dogs for an hour? How does that happen?”

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Andrew: “You guide me, hot dog story. You guide me”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew correcting Luke on the episode number, 2676, and how it ties in with Fourth of July

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you think this is why Terry Gross doesn’t do her show from her backyard? Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t wanna get into the hot dog versus sausage thing… Well, I might have to. We’ll figure it out. I might have to”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have some sage advice for you, Luke… You can always add more condiments to a hot dog; but, it’s very difficult to take condiments off of a hot dog. So… play it easy… at first; and, then, keep on adding. Layers. Yeah. I approach each condiment dispenser that I don’t know… like a wild stallion. I just have to break it”

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Andrew and Luke: “I would like… to ask you… one question… where do hot dogs come from? Well, when a mommy hot dog and a daddy hot dog love each other very much, Andrew… The truth is, Luke, nobody knows where hot dogs came from”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s a holiday! We’re not even supposed to be here today! That’s right!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just for new listeners, Rudy is Luke’s wife… Yes… That’s my… life”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “Why not! You only live once; especially, if you (YOLO!) eat as many hot dogs as I do!”

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Luke: “All you can eat, baby!”

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Luke: “Alright, hang on everybody… Gotta swallow these protein chips… trying to not… gross out any of our… listeners with… misophonia”

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Luke: “Also, I may, I may just have wide-set nipples, Andrew”

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Luke: “And, again, this is me just, like, searching for a reason to be butthurt about something”

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Luke: “And, here I am… bringing you episode two-thousand, six-hundred and seventy-four… in a collector’s series” [ed: Nope. Still not right, Luke.]

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Luke: “And, I actually have thoughts about this song”

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Luke: “And, then… and, this is maybe… maybe this is the kind of thing that is… what the kids call TMI… but, I’m also suffering from a very inflamed… nipple… (Oh, ‘Explicit!’) in which, maybe… maybe we can talk about with Andrew; or, maybe we can’t. I guess depends on… how he’s feeling about that”

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Luke: “And, then… as you can hear… my allergies have decided to make a triumphant return… to the inside of my nose”

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Luke: “Bark!”

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Luke: Barking like an aggressive dog

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Luke: “Every time we look at the numbers and we realize we have fewer listeners, we’re like… Yeah… but, with fewer listeners, there’s fewer expectations… We’re lucky, really, we’re lucky, really, to have fewer listeners”

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Luke: “God, when I say it out loud, I realize what a bad idea this was”

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Luke: “God…damnit!”

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Luke: “Holy schnikes!”

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Luke: “I got a sore on my ass and it hurts unmerciful!”

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Luke: “I just thought it was… unusually turgid”

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Luke: “I’m horrified and mildly aroused”

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Luke: “Kids rule!! Fart butt!!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Making a straining sound

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Luke: “Mmm-okay!”

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Luke: “My body is… breaking down, Andrew”

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Luke: “Not to get woo-woo about it”

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Luke: Saying “I made soup out of that” as Peter Lorre

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Luke: Singing “This is a story of a cane”

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Luke: Singing “You’re a mean one, Saucy Jack”

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Luke: “Sweeney Walsh! Sweeney Walsh”

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Luke: “Victory is mine!!!”

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Luke: “We’re good”

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Luke: “Why did I spill the beans on myself?”

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Luke: “Yeah. We’re good”

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Luke: “You don’t trust me with this information!”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I don’t know why it didn’t mess with the left nipple… just the right… (Hmmm) I don’t… I never mess with the left nipple”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, there are a few things. One, there are food puzzles. Did I talk about food puzzles on the show? (No!! God!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a jogger… (For the long distance runners…) I’m a vlogger… (I’m…) I’m a midnight frogger… player?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is this the, is this the original version? I don’t know. Does that sound off to you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Luke tries to bypass Andrew and texts Phyllis to learn of the secret identity of the placard swiper

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Luke and Andrew: “Where’s the party at? Wherever I am, baby (Baby)”

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Andrew: “Don’t, don’t get off the nipple talk”

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Andrew: “Get to the nips”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what the origin of that is; but, it can’t be good”

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Andrew: “I have no idea!”

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Andrew: “I made soup out of those bones”

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Andrew: “I was ready to party!”

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Andrew: “I wish I could tell you. It’s so good”

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Andrew: “It’s amazing how I can mess with the space-time continuum”

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Andrew: “Last, but not leash”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Saying “No worries… I turned those bones into a soup, my friend” and laughing in s a funny but spooky manner

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Andrew: Singing “This is the story of Thera Cane”

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Andrew: Stumbled over the name “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”

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Andrew: “That’s fine. It’s out of my head now”

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Andrew: “This does not sound right to me”

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Andrew: “This is me playing devil’s advocate, by the way. I’m gonna soften up in a second… if, if this is hard to hear”

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Andrew: “Training schmaining!”

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Andrew: “You know that I’ll be, like, by the fifth inning, I’ll be loose enough”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, that… is how you act… That was acting right there. Wow. (Yeah) God! Can we start this over? Your intro was good”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew does not trust Luke with his secret; but, Andrew does trust Phyllis

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke snickering

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Andrew and Luke: Old Andrew vs New Andrew

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Andrew and Luke: “Tomorrow is a day off. It’s the… Fourth of July; where, we… celebrate… (Yes!!) the majesty of this country… Liberty for all, don’tcha know”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, I love… a, a well-behaved… well-trained dog; and, I don’t think I’d be able to do that. I think it’s incredibly hard… (Thought you were gonna say, ‘well-seasoned dog’… What are you doing?) I made soup out of those bones… I still got it!”

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