Clips From TBTL #2734: No Point Conversion

Andrew: “Goddamnit, man. It’ll kinda kill me”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna sound a little knee-jerky and a little conservative here about this”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna lie to you… I was drinking a little bit”

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Andrew: “If my girlfriend finds out I’m doing this podcast, I am in trouble!”

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Andrew: “Like, that is such an F-U”

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Andrew: “My God! It’s over! It’s over”

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Andrew: “We should probably wrap-up. We’re getting near the third river”

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Andrew: “You don’t understand! Like, you don’t understand”

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Luke: Audio from a potential Hey Dummies video

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Luke: Audio from a potential Hey Dummies video #2

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Luke: “I agree with everything you just said”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to be PETA. I’m not trying to be the turd in this punchbowl”

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Luke: “Now, time for our Tic Tac Fruit Adventure Game Changer Award… that goes to Jarvis Landry”

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Luke: “Stop trying to make smelling your own farts a thing”

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Luke: “That’s pretty fucking fun”

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Luke: “You got… things to do and girlfriends to see”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I do want this episode to be called, ‘Smelling Your Own Farts with Poop Detective Luke Burbank’… ‘From Puss to Poo’ or whatever the other one was… Subtitle! ‘A Fruit Adventure, starring Poop Professor, Luke Burbank'”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’ve been ver–you’ve been a very good boy, Andrew. Thank you”

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Clips From TBTL #2734

Andrew: “Chicka-chicka-chicka”

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Andrew: “Come the eff on!”

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Andrew: “Don’t say… don’t do this again, Dad!”

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Andrew: “From… from -pusses to -pi”

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Andrew: “Goddamn! She is, like, a national… G-d treasure!”

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Andrew: “I guess we’re just gonna do this here”

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Andrew: Imitating warning alarm sounds

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Andrew: “It was kind of awesome!!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Now, I’m to the point where, every morning, man… I just, I gotta take some Molly just to get right!”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit! I forgot! We’re an… we’re an hour forty into this!”

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Andrew: “Oh!! Ah!! Damn!! Quick! Quick, quick, quick rewind!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “You’re sure that’s what they mean?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Now, I’m to the point where, every morning, man… I just, I gotta take some Molly just to get right! I just, I left that in the clear so that Linh can pull that…”

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Luke: “Ah, misophonia! Ooh, Rumpelstiltskin. You say you wanna get in my Benz”

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Luke: “Arby’s! We have the meats!”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “He’s just… an asshole!”

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Luke: “I know it doesn’t sound very good… Low-carb pizza is right behind stoned-ass lobsters in terms of things you really wanna eat”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to poo-poo any of that”

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Luke: “Inverta-Brits… ‘Ello, Guv’nor!”

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Luke: “It is a mind-bleep!”

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Luke: Making a Hulk-like sound

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Luke: Making gear buzzing sounds

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Luke: “Now, it’s happening… this is… I’m hulking out into… non-planned show talk”

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Luke: Saying “‘ello, guv’nor! I’m upside-down!” in a Cockney accent

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Luke: “That’s a donor, bro!”

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Luke: “That’s a donor, bro… of the day!”

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Luke: “This is a very Luke Burbankian resp–like, response to the problem”

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Luke: “We are gonna have a… a No Point Conversion… for the ages!”

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Luke: “What is that kid!?!”

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Luke: “Yeah, buddy!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a donor, bro… of the day! (I’m calling that the show title) We’re seeing something… we ain’t never seen since… Thursday of last week”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know who else we should protect at all cost. Yes, I do!”

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Clips From TBTL #2733

Andrew: “Dude, I was taping the game. Son of a bitch! I did it again!”

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Andrew: “Dude… I was taping the game… Did you seriously–Did the… did Cleveland win? Are you not playing along with us?”

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Andrew: “Dude… self-trained… Totally self-trained”

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Andrew: “Eww”

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Andrew: “Hunh”

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Andrew: “I am now officially annoyed with you”

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Andrew: “I coulda died happy right there”

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Andrew: “I know my brain is bad”

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Andrew: “I’m a real card”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m sure we’re… just jinxing the shit out of ourselves here”

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Andrew: Imitating the El Ropo whistle

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Andrew: “Just end it there… It ain’t getting better than that shit”

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Andrew: “Just kidding. I watched the game live, Luke… I’m a… I’m… I’m a real card”

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Andrew: Making a kissing sound

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Andrew: “Mwah!”

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Andrew: “Now, I have this big list of, like, good shit”

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Andrew: “QFC… Still love you, QFC”

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Andrew: “Something’s broken in me, I guess”

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Andrew: “Thanks, Wikipedia!”

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Andrew: “Trust me… You need me to filibuster, my friend? I can filibuster!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, Luke!! Lukie B! Lukie B!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think this might be a ‘True River’ show… This is going to be a ‘River of Souls’!”

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Andrew and Luke: Poddy Awards

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Andrew and Luke: “You’d be, ‘LukeBurbank420’. Come on… Got a minute? LukeBurbank419!!!”

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Luke: Cute laugh

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Luke: “Hi everybody! You can stay too”

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Luke: “I mean, I say the weirdest things if people ask me what my job is”

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Luke: “I will… end you!”

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Luke: “I’m stopping myself; because, what I’m starting to say sounds really braggy”

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Luke: “Man! Viral hits are overrated. Why? Well, cuz, we’re not a viral hit”

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Luke: Quiet “God bless America”

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Luke: Saying “And, we have this guy” in a drawn out, sing-songy manner

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Luke: Saying “I sent my Boo a snack… I guess that makes me bad” as Andy Rooney

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Luke: Singing “Because I got high… Because I got high, because I got high”

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Luke: “Stay in your lane!!!”

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Luke: “Stop the show!”

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Luke: “We’re gonna be… a viral hit!”

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Luke: “Well, listen, man! We all fart! Get over it!”

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Luke: Whispering “I do think I’m an expert”

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Luke: “Whoa!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I sent my Boo a snack… I guess that makes me bad… Just end it there… It ain’t getting better than that shit”

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Luke and Andrew: Re-doing the intro towards the end of the show and Andrew pulls the same joke he used at the start of the show

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Clips From TBTL #2732

Andrew: “And then, I just… turned off my phone and cried for a while”

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Andrew: “And, that… boggles… my mind grapes”

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Andrew: “Big day! Big day”

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Andrew: “But, there is some bad shit on here too”

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Andrew: “Do you think, ever in our life, there will be a Browns/Seahawks Super Bowl… And, if so, are we gonna explode?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know, man!”

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Andrew: “I don’t, I don’t know this song; and, I don’t wanna listen to anymore of it”

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Andrew: “I may be making this up”

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Andrew: “I think it’s gonna be an absolute garbage game”

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Andrew: “Left Shark just doing Left Shark’s own thing”

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Andrew: Making crunching sounds

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Oh, no!!”

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Andrew: “Think about it. It’s everything that football lovers… love”

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Andrew: “Where’s your buzzer sound? Where’s my buzzer sound?”

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Andrew: “Yeah! No! You know, me and Lizard King, man, we’re like this… I mean, the Lizard King, man!”

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Luke: “Ba-dow!! Guess who’s still here? Me!”

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Luke: “Fuck you!”

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Luke: “I’m a 12!!”

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Luke: “Rock Lobster!”

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Luke: Saying “I came up with ‘Better ingredients. Better pizza'” as John Schnatter

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Luke: Saying “What will be another… epic show” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Screw it… It’s, it’s… it’s football o’clock somewhere”

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Luke: “Where are the gummy worms!?”

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Clips From TBTL #2731

Andrew: “But, if you want a podcast to listen to while you’re cleaning… and, you wanna hear a couple of… doofuses talking about cleaning; Hannah is not a doofus”

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Andrew: “Did I not drink enough to remember this?”

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Andrew: “Enhance, enhance”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “Here’s… something that I got, my friend”

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Andrew: “How have I never heard of that?”

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Andrew: “I ain’t fancy”

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Andrew: “I am, I’m cruising for a real bruising”

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Andrew: “I got five fingers on each hand; but, I wouldn’t cut any of them off”

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Andrew: “J’accuse!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing “Oh… great!”

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Andrew: “Like, I’m not an anti-carb guy; but, that is like, I like meat, right?”

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Andrew: “Luke… I’m known for a lot of things… Remembering things is not one of them”

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Andrew: “Man. Four-twenty! Love it!”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m gonna be looking… looking, digging around in there, grabbing the big stem”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m just promoting everything!”

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Andrew: “Oh, G–I thought a ‘Million Miler’ meant that he had sex on airplanes. I’m sorry. I was confused for part of that”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Ohio: First in Fraud!”

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Andrew: Saying “Four-twenty!” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “That sounds like a… you know, just like a… recipe for a… farty afternoon. Excuse my language”

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Andrew: “That’s a funny joke!”

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Andrew: “That’s the good drop! Who’s that kiddo?”

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Andrew: “This already sounds like a Burbank story to me”

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Andrew: “Thought you were gonna say… that you allowed Andrew to join the show. I was like, ‘That… fair, but hurtful'”

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Andrew: “Was it a bad joke; or, was it just not TBTL-necessarily-appropriate?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know how many of these have been made; but, Jay says only one! (Jay!! Jay! How many of these have been made?)”

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Luke: “A nude horse is a rude horse!”

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Luke: “Ah, look at this broccoli stem… sitting over there thinking it’s… thinking it’s cool… You got roasted”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to rub this in anyone’s face”

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Luke: “I’ve been… leaving the… booze juice alone”

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Luke: “¡La layende… [ph] de borracho frío!”

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Luke: “Shit!!”

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Luke: Singing “I say pitocin… and, I say potassium”

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Luke: “We got the real one here!!”

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Luke: “You hear that Ru-dog? I don’t anymore argument about it, okay? I am the cute one”

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Luke and Andrew: “A nude Andrew is a rude Andrew! (Oh, that’s for damn sure!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Born in Zanesville, Ohio, Andrew! Oh, there you go… first in fraud. Ohio: First in Fraud!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, Jay! What is that? Jay says it’s a fucking tuna! (Jay, what is that…)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke saying “No!” and Andrew laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s… that’s… that’s some Twilight Zone shit, (Yes) right? (Yes)”

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Clips From TBTL #2730: No Point Conversion

Andrew: “For… absolutely no reason that I can understand… our kicker… just shut down like a broken android”

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Andrew: “Fucking altitude”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how to explain it; and, I know that I sound like a broken record. You can make a mon… please don’t, you can make a montage of me saying this… after… almost every single Browns game”

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Andrew: “I dunno. Maybe it’s in our brain”

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Andrew: “I’m super-serving my Wassells”

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Andrew: “It’s not about losing, it’s about never giving up. That’s the spirit of the Cleveland Browns”

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Andrew: Singing “It’s the freaking pre-season. Gonna have me some fun”

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Andrew: “That is a terrible sound!”

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Andrew: “That… is a beautiful story. That is my new favorite story”

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Andrew: “You… think that you would get used to losing”

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Luke: “I promise, these are not just gonna be… bitch-fests every week for me”

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Luke: “I think Gronk smashed a few times”

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Luke: “I would play that slot machine, Ass in the Jackpot”

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Luke: “I’m not even mad at the guy… I’m not even mad at him”

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Luke: “Thanks to all you ghosts out there… who are yelling at–and it’s not helping us!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, I… fucking hate that team… (Yeah) everything they stand for; (Yeah) and their fans… Peace and love”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah! Drink up that bass with your ears. What is going on with that file!?”

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