Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2581

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Andrew: “A preponderance of flatulation”

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Andrew: “Aw, damnit! Somebody, somebody did it; but, nobody will ever know! We’ve wiped off all the prints”

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Andrew: “But, I don’t remember you making an ass out of yourself”

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Andrew: “I like a good lie”

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Andrew: “Jackass podcasters”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ, yeah!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wait… Yeah, that’s a… Dirty Projectors song”

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Andrew: “Ohhh, Luke! My ignorant little friend”

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Andrew: “Okay. Buckle up, Walsh. Don’t be triggered by this”

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Andrew: Saying “Fuck it! Let’s eat all the donuts… and fart on planes” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Saying “Hello, Luke!” and clearing his throat

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Andrew: “That’s how men talk”

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Andrew: “That’s me digging deeper into this… somewhat… failed project”

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Andrew: “What if? Go with me here… What if?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I guess I say crêpes; but, also, I just, kind of… avoid crêpes. I don’t eat ’em; I don’t talk about ’em”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew hit his head with the heel of his hand for omitting something from the previous show

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, it is the crack of 10:43 in the morning. My, God!!! (Shh!) Shh! Let’s make the listeners think this is happening at, like… 7:30 AM”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is this Stan Folkengetz? This is…”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “I am an editor!! (…actors!!) These are actors… hired… to pretend… like they are editors at the New York Times!!!” in an Alex Jones-like manner

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Andrew and Luke: “This is tough. I’m not good at this stuff. Wait, you have the easiest job…! (I know! I know! I know! I know!)”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “He dominates… the pho… left and right”

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Luke: “I am not the one who flarped… they’re gonna call it that in the future”

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Luke: “I need you to activate the… e-mail sound effect; since… my computer has decided to really flarp the bed”

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Luke: “If you don’t donate to this show, you were never born”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Mouth trumpet fanfare

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Luke: “Never trust a fart”

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Luke: “Not only does he dominate the pho; he dominates the flow!”

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Luke: “Operators are standing by!!!”

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Luke: Saying “Audie, my sources tell me that this is just part of the changing media landscape!!! Local papers are having a difficult time attracting the advertising… they used to get, because of the fragmentation!!!” in an Alex Jones-like manner

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Luke: Saying “The… LA Times… under… Tronc… is a false flag newspaper!!!” in an Alex Jones-like manner

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Luke: Saying “They trying to say I was drunk!!! I had eight beers!!! That’s all!!!” in an Alex Jones-like manner

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Luke: “So… everybody won, except you!”

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Luke: “Sorry”

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Luke: “That’s so great!”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “You’re a horrible person. No one will ever love you”

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Luke and Andrew: “Blow that horn, Stan Folkengetz… That’s the show title”

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Luke and Andrew: “How about Dave Folkenjones? Dave Folkenjones. I like this character”

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Luke and Andrew: “You ready for a… scorched take? Yeah… I’ll take the Solange version. Sorry. Oh, Christ, yeah! Oh, absolutely. Yeah”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2580

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Andrew: Andrew is interpreting what Luke is doing as a form of wooing Andrew

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Andrew: Funny Laugh

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Andrew: “How many carbs do my feelings have; because…”

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Andrew: “I don’t check my fucking e-mail! What do you think I am… some sort of employee!?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know… what’s wrong with people”

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Andrew: “Is this gonna be the last time?”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Eww”

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Andrew: “No, I think we all know what level of asshole Alec Baldwin is… which is, you know, a mostly contained asshole”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m gonna have f… I’m gonna have fun and relax on this vacation if it kills me!” in a gruff manner

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Andrew: “What are we doing out here on the streets, Mom? There’s a man-eater out there”

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Andrew: “Why’s everything bad have to happen to us!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Because, there’s not a huge difference between being in that fart-locker on the ground and being in that (Yeah!) fart-locker in the sky, right?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know. It just feels like we’re gonna die! That’s all it feels like to me (Yeah)”

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Luke: “And, her eyelids were so heavy; and, I realized… she was smoking so much weed”

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Luke: “And, then, we outta here”

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Luke: “Come on, it’s candy”

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Luke: “Hey, Rudy! Get over here! You know what it’s time for”

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Luke: “It, it, it sickens me. Andrew, it sickens me”

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Luke: Loudly whispering “But, maybe it was”

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Luke: “Oh, man”

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Luke: Saying “Ah, this is Steve Inskeep doing an impression of Luke’s impression of a pilot” as an airplane pilot speaking over a PA

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Luke: Singing “Cause you’re evil, and you lie. And if you should die”

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Luke: “This is honestly going to be the best… one of my favorite parts of the whole show; so, let me just ruin it for people”

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Luke: “This is out of a movie!”

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Luke: “We have tape of the weird sound of Windsor. I’m gonna give you a little preview… (Marsupial Gurgle sound) Nobody knows what it is”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke mimicking only the bass line of a song and Andrew saying “It’s… it’s doo-wop; I like it”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing a bass line and Andrew jumps in with other sounds

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, this is how other people live. This is nice (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Take him to the blast furnace on Zug Island!! (Not Zug Island!) In the Detroit River!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’re never gonna speak of this, okay? Okay”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2579

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Andrew: “Creamy fusilli! It’s fusilli, Jerry!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Sorry”

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Andrew: “No!”

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Andrew: “So, I’m obese… Get that, get that on the podcast today”

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Andrew: “That sounds right”

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Andrew: “This ad’s getting kicked back”

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Andrew: “We heard there were girls over here, Mr. Hennessy”

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Andrew: “Welcome back to me!”

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Andrew: “What the shit!!?”

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Andrew: “You’re back, baby!”

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Andrew: “You’re not gonna be eating good in the neighborhood; but, you’re gonna be eating great in your own home”

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Andrew: “You’re thrusting your hips, you’re plantin’ your fists on your side, you’re puttin’… Yeah, I like it”

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Andrew: “Your internal voice is interesting”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wanted a Charlie Rose joke to be stricken from the record

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m just trying to, like, you know… I’m, I’m taking you… You’re trying to figure out how I’m wrong. I get it, Andrew. I get it”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m, I’m on the edge of my seat. That sounds great… Oh, good”

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Andrew and Luke: It’s 2018 and Andrew can’t escape the word “Collusion”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s like watching a Black Lives Matter parade with a bunch of cops… Right… exactly. We just went there… I think you’re back, baby! (Hello, everyone!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The bartender (Yeah) was woman and not a bartender. (Yeah) Great. Right”

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Luke: “Alright, here we go, everybody… Welcome back, to me!”

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Luke: “And, boy oh boy!”

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: Cute Chuckle #2

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Luke: “Daddy’s back!!!”

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Luke: “Fixed… Fixed!!!”

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Luke: “I got something to ask you bozos!!”

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Luke: “I reffed the best damn game you can ref”

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Luke: Making funny horse riding sounds

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “Nope… not gonna go there!”

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Luke: “Of course, you also somehow see… your celebrating of President’s Day… as an affirmation of the current President of the United States; who, of course, you’re a fan of his. Because, you’re the kind of dingus… who can’t even tolerate… a completely civil question, coming your way, about basketball officiating”

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Luke: “Oooh, man!”

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Luke: Saying “That’s-a spicy recipe pronunciation!” in a faux Italian accent

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Luke: Saying “This is a fascinating web article” as Hank Hill

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Luke: “She’s got some cute fur; and, it’s… just everywhere… per ushe”

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Luke: Soft “Yay!”

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Luke: “The reporter… in this made up story… was a woman!”

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Luke: “This, by the way, now, this is a part where I’m probably just being… a little… a little more Luke than I need to be… I don’t think that…”

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Luke: “We have such a strange… job”

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Luke: “Well, that’s a funny story about… how Teddy Roosevelt used to work out”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “Yeah, no S, Sherlock”

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Luke: “Yeah, you’re a bunch of blind zebras!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, just know that this music is killing Andrew… Daddy’s back!!! Ooh, that is killing me too. Yes, that is strange. I don’t think… that’s not really our relationship… for the record”

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Luke and Andrew: “For instance, if you Google… him playing tennis (Oh, don’t!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I want to thank Martha for… checking in from… across the Pond… And, I say to you… ‘G’day, mate’… There it is”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m just asking for reasonable synthesizer laws (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, God. The soothing sounds of the Doog. Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know… when the… when the cat’s away… the Walsh will play… Yeah, the Walsh played”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2578

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Andrew: “Alright… I already love this, Charlie”

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Andrew: “And… here we are. You’re stuck with me again”

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Andrew: “And… I am scared… of everything”

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Andrew: “But, can you tell that I don’t wanna let you go? Like, this is better than me talking without somebody else in the room”

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Andrew: “But, I am doing something… different today. Something I’ve never done before… and, something that is… a… little… scary… I’m going to do the show alone… no co-host. No Luke, no Nick, no Hanna, no Bean, no nobody… It’s just me”

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Andrew: “Don’t, don’t call into a podcast sour”

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Andrew: “God! Now, I don’t want Luke to come back. Now, I’m just mad at Luke”

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Andrew: “Have you ever been on TBTL, Charlie?”

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Andrew: “Hello! What is this?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how much of a disaster this show is gonna be. Honestly, probably, a pretty big one”

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Andrew: “I guess I’m gonna have to close this show out all by my lonesome today; cuz, I don’t have anyone to help me”

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Andrew: “I just would never do that because of the smell!”

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Andrew: “I’ll probably still have a job. We’ll see”

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Andrew: “It is going to be fun. It’s gonna be weird; it’s gonna be different… but, I think it’s gonna be fun!”

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Andrew: “Okay, there he goes. Goodbye, lifeline”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “You guys hate dream talk”

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Andrew: “Since today’s show is not really canon, I’m not even considering this a real thing”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Somebody remind me to tell Luke that when he gets back”

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Andrew: “Stop saying, ‘Honestly’! Come on, Walsh! Break the habit”

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Andrew: “Thank you guys so much… for donating to make this show possible. Maybe, not this show. Maybe, not today’s show. Maybe, you don’t even what your names associated with today’s show… but, they are. But, they are, aren’t they!!?”

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Andrew: “There’s nobody that I want murdered or dead”

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Andrew: “To be honest, if I’m being honest with you, honestly, honestly, honestly”

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Andrew: “Well, hello there everybody! Here we are again”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “I love you Stu! Don’t leave me! I love you too. I love you too, Walshki”

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Steve Neuman: “Are you gonna dominate? Are you gonna dominate the pho?”

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Steve Neuman: “Crooked Hillary. Lock her up. Garmonbozia”

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Steve Neuman: “It was only seven or eight beers… but, no, I wasn’t drunk. You can tell”

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Steve Neuman: Laughing

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Steve Neuman: “New York City… New York City!”

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Steve Neuman: “Oh, Jesus”

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Steve Neuman: “Trying your best is always good, Andrew”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Ahoy-hoy. Hey… you knew it was me, huh?”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “I know you don’t even own a TV; cuz, TV is no friend of yours. I don’t even call it a TV. I call it a television… cuz, TV is a nickname”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2577

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Andrew: “Alright, get ready to blush, everybody… Earmuffs, kids!”

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Andrew: “And now, I wish I could burn that episode of TBTL”

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Andrew: “And, if those are alligator boots, you’re a sick bastard”

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Andrew: “By the way, I have no idea why Genevieve is still with me”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “Epithode”

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Andrew: “Get off my back! For Christ’s sake”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “Hey, wha’ happened?”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be the asshole producer in Seattle”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of dazzling deets on that”

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Andrew: “I think this is a s…tupid idea”

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Andrew: “I’m the schlubby-dubby guy that I just described… who’s picking Silly Putty outta of his pocket”

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Andrew: “It’s really kinda gross”

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Andrew: Making thinking sounds

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Andrew: “Nuh-uh!”

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Andrew: “Okay, we’ll leave you sniffling in, me gurgling at times”

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Andrew: “Please stop looking at… Nick’s soft, potato-like lips”

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Andrew: Saying “And, I’m hoping it’s gonna be a doozy!” in a funny, drawn out manner

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Andrew: Saying “What about me? I thought you hated me?” in drawn out, whiny manner

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Andrew: “Sorry, listeners! Sorry, Bean!”

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Andrew: “The bobsled coach was a woman!”

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Andrew: “The first one of… ever”

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Andrew: “The King of Distinguished Numbers?”

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Andrew: “They saw something and they said something!”

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Andrew: “We are… still animals”

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Andrew: “What does it mean if you’re a drip? Oh, no. I’m sorry… That means you’re me”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “Anyway… You just wanted something to talk about other than your shame”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “Are you taking a selfie? Yeah, I am taking a selfie… Keep going! Keep going!”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “I made a horrible mistake… Why? When getting into Top Stories, this is like the only time in TBTL that we didn’t play the Top Story sounder. I totally just forgot about it”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “No shit!!! (That’s what I’ve heard)”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “Not a lotta crime in New Hampshire; but… dark-ass crime (Yeah) in New Hampshire; like, crazy shit”

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Andrew and Hanna Brooks Olsen: “What does it mean if you say, ‘Ping me’? You’re an asshole? You’re awful?”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Cuz, I was sniffing right before the break (Sorry!)”

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Andrew, Hanna Brooks Olsen and Nick Jarin: “Also, I don’t know if we’re gonna have time to get to this. My girlfriend just posted this on Facebook… and, so I figured… that’s the… Great tease, Walsh! That’s how you know it’s top-of-the-line news”

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Andrew, Hanna Brooks Olsen and Nick Jarin: “In the meantime, please remember: No mountain too tall; and, good luck to all”

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Hanna Brooks Olsen: Drawn out “Oh, no!”

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Hanna Brooks Olsen: “Oh, no! Oh, no”

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Hanna Brooks Olsen: Saying “I don’t know how to call anybody!” in a funny manner

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Hanna Brooks Olsen: “Yes!!!”

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Hanna Brooks Olsen and Andrew: “New Hampshire? New Hampshire!?”

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Hanna Brooks Olsen and Andrew: “Wait, wait, wait. With Dockers!? How does one bring this outfit together!? One… just… never… cared”

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Nick Jarin: “Hooray, beer!”

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Nick Jarin: “It’s because it’s an Afro-futurism coronation!”

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Nick Jarin: “WomenTheyBeBobsledding.com”

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: “Why does he have (Yes) the bobsled? First of all, sexist. It’s a she”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2576

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Andrew: “Bean, bean, bean, bean”

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Andrew: “By the way, don’t think #QuipLifestyle is a thing… but, still… I’m living it”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I know this is gonna get hard and I know that I’m gonna embarrass myself… with something really easy”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Ahhh”

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Andrew: “Here’s how I see Valentine’s Day, Sweetie”

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Andrew: “I dunno man… Suddenly, this Doogie theme just pales in comparison to the bean song”

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Andrew: “I said Dream Talk was over”

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Andrew: “I should’ve just, I should’ve just, like, flopped on the first one”

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Andrew: “I want to be legitimately… shocked, awed, delighted and surprised”

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Andrew: “I wish I could turn back time”

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Andrew: “I’m a real Gen Xer”

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Andrew: “I’m killing it in the boyfriend department”

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Andrew: “I’m Stanford Blade. More at Eleven”

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Andrew: “It was like my brain was a CD that was skipping… and I just kept hearing, ‘Male Palentine’s Day! Male Palentine’s Day!’… over and over and over again”

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Andrew: “It’s literally my favorite song right now”

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Andrew: “Let me tell you who I am. My name’s Andrew Walsh… this show’s called, ‘Too Beautiful to Live’… usually hosted by Luke Burbank. He’s not here today; which, is why I am going to tell you… about a dream I had last night”

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Andrew: Listing off exceptions with a lot of commas

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Andrew: “New York City!?”

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Andrew: “No poison ivy? Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetie!!”

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Andrew: “Now… Bean, you’re not gonna tell on me, are you?”

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Andrew: “Oogh! If I get this wrong, I know a lot of our listeners are gonna be mad”

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Andrew: Saying “Spill the beans, Bean!” and playing the “Baked Bean Song”

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Andrew: “So far, I’m killing it”

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Andrew: “So, what you do think the very first thing I did was? Knowing how horrible this joke was… both in my dream and in reality, what do you think the very first thing I did was? I told it to my girlfriend… And, her reaction was exactly… what yours was, right there… Dead silence”

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Andrew: “Sometimes I feel like you are the only person who understands me”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound so corny and old manny”

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Andrew: “Tongue-in-cheeking it”

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Andrew: “We are not the podcast that leads. We are the podcast that follows the guy who is sweeping up… after… the last followers out the door”

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Andrew: “What are people doing?”

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Andrew: “What’s on your mind?”

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Andrew and Bean Baxter: “No mountain to tall… and, good luck to all!”

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Andrew and Bean Baxter: “Well, not nothing. I mean, really nothing… is what we’re doing. I said, ‘not nothing’; but, I was gonna say, ‘not anything’ and I said, ‘not nothing’. Mmm-hmm”

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Bean Baxter: Disapproving “Andrew!”

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Bean Baxter: “I am the smartest guy in the world!”

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Bean Baxter: “Mardi Gras is not… for me”

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Bean Baxter: “Oh, they’re idiots, Andrew”

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Bean Baxter: “Po’ boy is po’ boy”

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Bean Baxter and Andrew: “Higher? (Higher) Higher? (Higher) Higher? Higher”

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Bean Baxter and Andrew: “We’re going deep into po’ boy… Oh, no, we’re going deep here… I mean, people’s ears are bleeding over this. I mean, it is the worst thing you can possibly do to the South”

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