Clips From TBTL #2469

Andrew: “Alright, I’m moving in.”

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Andrew: “And, now!”

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Andrew: “Are you still there?”

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Andrew: “Are you sure?”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to be rude or cruel here… but, I did get something from our dear friend Linh Pham via the way of Twitter this week”

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Andrew: “I’m done with Shkrelli”

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Andrew: “I’m the what of podcasting?”

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Andrew: “It really makes the RZA kinda look… like a shit”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Oh, wonderful!”

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Andrew: Reacting to Luke playing a mashup of the “Top Story” drop and saying “I forgot I said that to you! I totally forgot I said that to you! Oh, wonderful!”

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Andrew: “Silver Rings got nothing on us! Are you shitting me!?”

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Andrew: Singing “Cleveland!”

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Andrew: Singing “KLF!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Somebody is responsible for this show… and, it’s not you and and it’s not me”

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Andrew: “Straight up Quincy Jones produced that shit, Luke”

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Andrew and Luke: “Can you play that again? I’m obsessed with myself (Sure, absolutely)”

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Andrew and Luke: “For… for the RZA to do… just to his own, to his own… I don’t wanna say clan members… because… No. It just doesn’t sound good when I put it that way.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Sounds like I’m saying… ‘We’ve met’… Are you still there? I am, I’m just listening. Oh. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on.”

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Andrew and Luke: Things were even weirder before the show started taping

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re gonna like it! You’re gonna like it. That’s so cool… You’re gonna love the way you look. I’m Kurt Vile. I guarantee it.”

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Luke: “And, you know what’s in a Kraft Single? Magic.”

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Luke: “Bruh… bruh… do not get your hopes up”

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Luke: “By the way, I need to sharpshoot myself really quick. I know, I know it’s Sharpshoot Monday; and then… Have an Opinion Dummy Tuesday. And then, What Are You Thinking? Wednesday. And then… Too Soon? Thursday; and then… it’s Fucking Friday”

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Luke: “Dinner’s served!”

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Luke: “Essence… is our picture word”

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Luke: “He’s the Shy Ronnie of podcasting”

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Luke: “I’m full of regret today. I’m full of regret.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Now, the problem is I talked over it; so, now there’s three… it’s a three-layer burrito”

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Luke: Singing “Roaring engines… headed somewhere in sight”

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Luke: Singing “Silver rings. Shining in the sunlight”

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Luke: Singing “Silver rings”

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Luke: Singing “Uh-huh, uh-huh”

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Luke: “This is, I, I, I… I meant to say at the top of the show, this is gonna be a weird one. I feel like I’m giving everyone that update… about fifteen minutes too late… into their life”

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Luke: “Too loud and too specific”

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Luke: “Will people please just have some faith in me and my comedy chops!?”

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Luke: “You’re much more immersed in the… in the world of the Wu”

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Luke and Andrew: “Essence is our picture word. Huh? Hmm. Erd?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t either!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Robyn? I know from comedy. Okay? (Oh, no)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, whatever. It’s Friday. Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re gonna get some hop-ons. You’re gonna get some Wu-Tang hop-ons.”

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Clips From TBTL #2468: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “All I have to do this afternoon is… record… one hour of imaginary radio… go for jog; and then, read two hundred more pages of a Salman Rushdie book… and, also write my monologue and write all the questions… and iron my suit… and, also, lint roll it; cuz, it’s pretty jacked up, I’ll be honest with you.”

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Luke: “Ding-dang Portland, Oregon”

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Luke: “Do you know what the White Chapel fatberg is?”

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Luke: “Don’t be a sketch-ball in the woods”

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Luke: “Hello, my Tayne”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna discombobulate and recombobulate”

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Luke: “I got your Dayton Peace Accord… right ‘ere!”

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Luke: “I spent like… thirty minutes last night… Tetris-ing this shit in there”

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Luke: “I… podcast more than anyone!”

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Luke: “It’s like Drogon the Dragon… farted on it”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Making monkey sounds

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Luke: Preemptively apologizing and giving a trigger warning for the White Chapel fatberg talk

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Luke: Saying “Ehlo” in a British accent

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Luke: Saying “Hüsker Dü” in an exaggerated manner

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Luke: Singing “Closing Time”

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Luke: Singing “I ain’t much on bossa nova… me and Romeo ain’t never been friends”

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Luke: “Sorry, London… we done!”

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Luke: “That wasn’t a CD. That was my voice. All those sounds were coming from my bo-ody.”

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Luke: “That’s weird brag, but okay”

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Luke: “This is just… specific… for my friend Andy”

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Luke: “This is the last deet I’ll disgust you with”

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Luke: “Thwack”

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Luke: “Where did you get that drop from?”

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Luke: “Yah!”

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Luke: “You… hate my audio levels. You hate them.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How does this sounds to you now? (That sounds great, thank you) The right amount of bossa nova? Yes; but, it’s not the right amount of Boz. Boza nova! Boza nova!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I is afraid of that ghost. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, you sweat pee, don’t you? Isn’t that what you do? They sweat pee in heaven, don’t they? Wait, what?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It whelmed me, bro. (Oh, no!) I’m extremely whelmed by it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Listen, Andrew. As we established yesterday… this is just about you and me. Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “They’re, they’re like the m-monkeys in 2001: A Space Odyssey… Oddity. (Mmm-hmm) Odyssey.”

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Clips From TBTL #2468: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “Did you say, did you say ‘Ehlo’ or ‘Heelo’? [ph]

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Andrew: Doing his version of the “Top Story” drop

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Andrew: Groaning Laugh

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Andrew: “I have a hot dog story for ya”

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Andrew: “I have a sad story”

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Andrew: “I might not be on my game today, Luke. I don’t know. Boy, good thing nobody else noticed.”

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Andrew: “I think that was… God in the machine, right there”

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Andrew: “Just keep on catching blue gill and put them in a bucket; but, now, I think about that bucket, and I’m like, ‘Well, that must’ve been awful for those fish'”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s what you wanted to know”

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Andrew:Saying “Did you say ”ello’?” in a British accent

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Andrew: Saying “Some numbers are missing… by today’s standards” in response to a seven-digit phone number in a radio clip

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Andrew: “Speaking of things the listeners probably aren’t interested in”

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Andrew: “The famed Maris Talks of 2017?”

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Andrew: “Uhh, that’s worse!!”

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Andrew: “Was that a thing?”

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Andrew: “We noticed that the grass was dead. We thought it was just cuz of our… burning hot love… for each other. Emotional love! Don’t be gross. Don’t be a sketch-ball in the podcast either.”

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “What are you spoofing on?”

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Andrew: “Wow!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m learning a lot about how the human body works; and, it is true, the sweat glands are… directly connected, directly connected you the bladder. And, that’s how it works. Well, mine is broken then”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where was that dark memory hiding all this time? Underneath all the happiness! Under… all the unmitigated joy! Yeah, exactly. Under all the gambling and alcohol abuse!”

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Clips From TBTL #2465: No Point Conversion Edition

These are clips from the “No Point Conversion” portion of TBTL #2465. You can find clips from the main portion of the show at “Clips From TBTL #2465“.

Andrew: “Am I a cult of personality, or are the Browns just catching fire, man?”

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Andrew: “Bullshit”

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Andrew: “Drug Mart! I forgot about Drug Mart!”

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Andrew: “How ya feeling, man?”

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Andrew: “I think I’m just a nasty, nasty man”

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Andrew: “I… hate his face; and, I want to wipe that look off his face”

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Andrew: “Isn’t this a little bit early for Monday Night Football?”

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Andrew: “Maybe I just sound like a… a beaten down Browns fan; but… News alert: I’m a beaten down Browns fan.”

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Andrew: “What does that even mean!?”

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Andrew: “Yalf!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “He suffered a high-sprankle, a high-sprankle… pain. A high-ankle sprain. A high-sprankle Tayne. Now, that I can get into.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I did not hit him! Alright, I cannot… (I did not!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s bullshit! He did not punch him! He did not. That’s all (Oh, hi) I have to say about that. Oh, hi, Pete Carroll.”

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Luke: “Because, we always make jokes about what a… dingus that guy is”

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Luke: “I don’t know. Dear God.”

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Luke: “I, I guess my final thing would be… the, that the refereeing sucked… donkey dick”

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Luke: “I’m not from Cleveland. I just listened to an entire Browns game on the radio. AMA”

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Luke: “If he can… fuck with the other team… in a, in the right way”

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Luke: “If you fart in the direction of Aaron Rodgers, they’re gonna throw a flag”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Now the Jeremy Lane thing was a travesty of a mockery of a travesty of two shams of a mockery”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah”

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Luke: Saying “Hear me now and believe me later” in some kind of accent

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Luke: Saying “I did not!” as Tommy Wiseau

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Luke: Saying “I did not!” as Tommy Wiseau #2

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Luke: “That motherfucker”

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Luke: “Well, well, well”

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Luke and Andrew: “Season 43… Episode 1… What would you call this one? What would you’re… A Tale of Two Loses?”

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Clips From TBTL #2467

Andrew: “And next to it is, just like, the most… stereotypical, 2017 hipster-y, hipster girl”

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Andrew: “Arrrrrrr!”

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Andrew: “But, which is the other Shannon?”

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Andrew: Clapping, Playing “(I Had) The Time of My Life” and a clip of Sergio Dipp

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Andrew: “Do I have enough Supertramp?”

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Andrew: “Except for me now. Now, I’m the ass.”

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Andrew: “I am jealous of everybody’s rumpus rooms”

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Andrew: “I don’t like these bodegas, matey!”

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Andrew: “I expect Dream Andrew and Dream Luke to be a little bit better to Dream Shannon”

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Andrew: “I feel pretty shitty about this”

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Andrew: “I just don’t believe saving the buggy whips for the sake of saving the buggy whips”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna use the word, ‘optics’. Trigger warning, everybody. I’m gonna say ‘optics,’ probably a lot, during this conversation.”

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Andrew: “It was BYOD… Bring Your Own Donation”

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Andrew: “It’s a real dreamy episode of TBTL today”

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Andrew: “Like, I love you, Luke; but, please don’t send me an emoji of your face, okay?”

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Andrew: “Luke… I’m gonna break the fourth wall here for a second”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, that’s gross!”

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Andrew: “That’s not how, that’s not how food works”

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Andrew: “Turns out, Chevy makes all kinds of super-ugly cars!”

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Andrew: “Why do you say that?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, it’s Wolfgang Punk [sic]

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Andrew: “Yesterday, I was watching an episode of Monk with… Genevieve; and, something happened, that happens… from time to time, as you’d imagine when I watch Monk. Which is, I have a very Monk-y reaction to something.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I did not do that, though. I did not do that! I did not steal the nuts! I did (I did not) steal a cup of coffee once.”

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Luke: “Although, I guess, there are a few other people listening”

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Luke: “And, it just feels so different when… you lived… in… Manha-many… [ph] Minnesota. That’s not even a place! Why did I pick the weirdest theoretical place?”

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Luke: “Blackbeard the Turnip Murderer?”

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Luke: “Boom. Roasted.”

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Luke: “Conk, conk!!”

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Luke: “I didn’t want to be fired from KIRO for stealing cashews. I wanted to be fired from KIRO for low ratings. And, and, I probably would have; but, I quit before they could do it.”

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Luke: “I, I shall deliver to you… one Fargield, my good man”

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Luke: “I’m having the time… of my life here at episode two-thousand four-hundred… and sixty-seven in a collective… Collective series!? Yes… we’re t-taking the show in a very collectivist… direction. Just FYI, everybody.”

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Luke: “It was… BYOS: Bring Your Own Show”

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Luke: “More glass seems like mo’ problems for me”

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Luke: “Okay, Burbank, you’ve waited long enough. Treat yourself with the iPhone X.”

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Luke: “Okay. Let’s… let’s do a scan, body. Let’s check all of the quadrants.”

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Luke: “Ooh, my face”

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Luke: Quietly asking “What is wrong with me?”

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Luke: “Santa emoji, poop emoji… dancing emoji. Thumbs up emoji. Thumbs to the middle emoji.” ??????

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Luke: Saying “Aye… Ye are taking my turnip business… because, you’ve… got all this stuff in that one little, small, convenient location” in a pirate farmer’s accent

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Luke: “That was the most stoner thing you’ve ever said”

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Luke: “That’s so beautiful, Andrew”

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Luke: “Update on the Pod-pets, they’re doing great”

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Luke: “Violence is never the answer”

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Luke: “We’ll… we’ll dip into that. We’ll Sergio Dipp into that later.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Save that for the Halloween show, bub. Yeah, right!”

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Clips From TBTL #2466

A, yet to be identified, listener left a voicemail for Luke and Andrew in which she sang a song about “Jalapeña”, which was played at the very beginning of the show.

Listener: Jalapeña Song

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Andrew: “‘ASAP’ is a trigger word for me via e-mail”

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Andrew: Curious Sound

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Andrew: “Football! Boop, boop, boop”

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Andrew: “I concur. It was a Concur joke!”

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Andrew: “I got a lot of bees under my bonnet”

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Andrew: “I licked my chops like a cartoon wolf”

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Andrew: “I lost you somewhere in this spoof. I’m lost in a spoof. Is that a song by Tayler Dayne?”

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Andrew: “I was gonna ask you that too. Other than, ‘Did you poop?’ I was gonna ask you, did you cry?”

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Andrew: “I was… gonna do a little… experiment with you today”

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Andrew: “I’m lost in a spoof”

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Andrew: Saying “Boop, boop, boop” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “Dip, dip, dip” in a deep voice

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Andrew: Saying “I know!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “Chrome River”

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Andrew: “This might sound weird”

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Andrew: “You gotta stick through the poo!”

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Andrew: “You know I love me some humor in uniform!”

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Luke: “By the way… more on why I, I think my life doesn’t have any meaning in a moment”

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Luke: “C-O-B-O-O-B”

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Luke: “I feel like that would be a super-group: Matisyahu Mouse”

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Luke: “If this was No Point Conversion, I would tell you exactly why he’s not a coach… anymore. And, it’s not; but, I will.”

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Luke: “In retrospect, it’s… kind of cornball”

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Luke: “It’s also why… I hate the rapper A$AP Rocky. I just feel like he needs… to… I’ll get to you when as I can, Rocky!”

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Luke: “Long story longer, and with less of a power out”

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Luke: Making a funny, high pitched sound

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Luke: “Oh my goodness! Well, there goes my theory.”

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Luke: “Oh! And, by the way… today… is the… day that Apple announced the new iPhone!”

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Luke: Saying “I did not” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “This is where I took Geology” as Troy McClure

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Luke: Saying “This is where it all started” in a gruff voice

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Luke: “That is life changing!”

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Luke: Thinking mouth sounds

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Luke: “This is the most… I mean, we are inside an episode of Dilbert… right now”

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Luke: “We are gonna get… jalapeño business… today, as we do in the… Sorry about that. Just had to get out of my system.”

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Luke: “We’ve never been more Biz Dev. We’ve never been more UX… then we are today”

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Luke: “What’s in your wallet?”

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Luke: “You know… I’m, I’m, I’m excited about this; but, I do feel like… I think I may have turned you; and, I may have created a monster.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, we got about five minutes for this, bruh. Alright. Can I use all five? Can I use three of them? Yep. (Actually, three and a half) I’ll allow it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Keith Stone of Libertyville, Illinois. Wow. Please… (Hold my stones) Keith Stone is not a real person.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Look what you made me spoof. Look what you made me spoof. (Okay, I’m writing…) Look what you just, look what you just… (Sorry, Dippin’ Don’ts)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, that person just shit their brains out. Right”

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Luke and Andrew: “When you, when you go low, you also go high (Yeah)”

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