Clips From TBTL #2560: The Burbanks Edition

Carey Burbank: “Is it too late for me to go back into the house?”

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Carey Burbank: Laughing and saying “Next”

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Carey Burbank: “That was my first yawn”

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Carey Burbank: “What happened?”

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David Burbank: “Oh, he flarps plenty”

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David Burbank: Singing “I feel good. Doo-doo-doo-doo”

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David Burbank and Luke: “You know, I was… I was the surprise child; as… (Yeah, you were…) Mom puts it”

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Luke: “Are you in the… the apology… district?”

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Luke: “Butt-splosions”

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Luke: “During our last American Pie break between episodes, Andrew, I ran into Burbank Springs… and drained the lizard, if you know what I mean”

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Luke: “Eww, God! I just looked at it and broke it”

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Luke: “Give that two flarps up”

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Luke: “Hand me the flarper”

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Luke: “Hello, there, actual bro!”

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Luke: “I have been misusing winky-face emoji”

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Luke: “I hope everybody sets their expectations… on… medium”

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Luke: “I’m surrounded by clocks!!”

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Luke: Singing “For the Fresh-Me-Ups!” to Alanis Morissette’s “Thank U”

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Luke: Singing “You thought you bought a thousand feet; but, you only bought six-hundred. Bomp, bomp, bomp”

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Luke: Singing along to Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant”

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Luke: “That’s a lot of S’s, dude”

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Luke: “Well, you’re, you know… you’re not a girl, not yet a woman”

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Luke: “What!!? That was not the reaction I was looking for”

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Luke: “What buzzing? Is it pretty? Does it sound pretty? Cuz, I can’t hear it”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you feel, though, like wearing that hat… is also a political statement? No… no, way. No. Are you being serious? Yeah. No! No”

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Luke and Andrew: “How’s everything? Like, how’s the body, how’s the mind, how’s the spirit? The mind’s never been… great… Actually, neither is the body. Oh, no!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It took us exactly one episode (I know) to break into the coffee!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Pass the absinthe. Yeah!”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “Really? Yeah. Aw, man!”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “You actually made a special label Fresh-Me-Ups. These are so sweet. Thanks, babe. This is going super well! I’m enjoying it… for what it’s worth”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and David Burbank: “Lemme talk to somebody who’s always got my back, and that’s my actual wife. (That’s my woife) We call her, ‘Carey from the Upstairs’. Hi, Sweetie. Hi, there. What is your impression of the van? I think it’s very nice… That’s how you answer that question (Bastard)”

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Luke, David Burbank and Andrew: “I think Dad’s a funny guy. You haven’t always thought that. Really!? Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty here. What’s happening!?”

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Luke, David Burbank and Andrew: Luke telling how his mom reacted when she found out she was pregnant with David

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Clips From TBTL #2560: Andrew Walsh (Plus One) Edition

Andrew: “And, the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets; which, is… the name of my book”

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Andrew: “Don’t talk down to us, buddy”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, that is not true!”

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Andrew: “He sleeps the sleep of a thousand Gandalfs”

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Andrew: “I am… breaking out in my first major pimple of the evening”

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Andrew: “I avoided tacos for dinner”

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Andrew: “I don’t watch TV; cuz, TV is no friend of mine”

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Andrew: “I feel very, very old, like, when I’m especially talking to… don’t look at me David, when I’m talking to, like, a young person”

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Andrew: “I got into this when I was kind of listening to a lot of hippy-dippy, 60s music”

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Andrew: “I hate this story so much!”

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Andrew: “I hope it’s okay for me to say this”

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Andrew: “I was a Guy guy”

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Andrew: “I’ll give that three flarps”

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Andrew: “I’m a very clean liar”

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Andrew: “Look! It looks just like Andrew, or like a screen cap from a commercial… And, it’s just because I’m a fat… balding guy with a beard”

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Andrew: “Maybe we should say it’s the Apple, Warby Parker, Tesla and TBTL of toothbrushes? No. It’s not the TBTL of toothbrushes… It’s much better than that”

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Andrew: “Moist. Sorry. I said that”

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Andrew: “Oh, man. You are a party animal!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh… I flarpin’ love it”

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Andrew: “Someone’s looking for a cut”

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Andrew: “What? I… I seriously said that?”

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Andrew: “What if you and I are, like, sine waves… that are… kind… well, that would mean we would cancel each other out. That’s no good”

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Andrew: “When am I gonna learn my lesson? Take one call, then turn it off!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I associate this hat mostly with Sean DeTore; which, is actually a problem for me, because… Is that a political statement? Yeah, right. I’m… I’m a DeToriate… I always vote straight ticket DeToriate”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is my computer turned on? I think so, we can hear it ringing, right? Yeah”

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Flarp Sound

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Clips From TBTL #2550: No Point Conversion Edition

Andrew: “Because, what fucking c–Sorry about my language”

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “The, the, the ground was fertile”

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Andrew: “We have basement correspondent, David from the Basement, joining us”

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Andrew, David Burbank and Luke: DFTB, also known as David from the Bus

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David Burbank: “Aw, shit. You’re blowing up my spot!”

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David Burbank: “Ehhh”

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David Burbank: “Fuck the 12s”

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David Burbank: “Imagine how fucking dominant the Jaguars would be, right now, if they had Russell Wilson instead of Blake Bortles”

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David Burbank: “Look, I know basements”

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David Burbank: “Rah-rah”

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David Burbank: “You need to show emotion, you need to show your authority, you need to show the reason why you’re a fucking head coach”

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David Burbank and Luke: “Are you talking about McDowell? Yes… dingus”

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Luke: “And now, and I’ll slowly back away from the microphone and pet the cat”

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Luke: “As long as I don’t… get… rootin’-tootin’ drunk on Thursday night; which, would be a horrible idea”

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Luke: “Change your offensive line, change your world”

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Luke: “Did you guys know that Andrew uses a battery? That, Andrew’s actually battery-powered?”

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Luke: “Drop the elf on the shelf”

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Luke: “Even Rudy knows that that was a terrible idea for me to… accidentally, accidentally play… the… NFC Championship version of this song”

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Luke: “I rule with an iron whim”

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Luke: “It sucks when you have a bunch of hop-ons”

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Luke: “Legit jealous”

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Luke: “Let’s go to Rolo Tony Brown Town for… just a quick minute”

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Luke: “Like… they just need some big, they just need some big, derpy Brock Huard back there”

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Luke: Making a mouth and lip sound

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Luke: “Of course, the Seahawks loss was immaterial”

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Luke: “Oh, the irony”

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Luke: “Or, is this a fluky thing”

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Luke: “So, that’s a little handholdy”

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Luke: “We’re just getting… pwned at every turn by elderly kickers”

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Luke: “What say you, Walsh?”

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Luke: “Yeah, that’s a scorch take”

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Luke: “You 12, bro?”

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Luke: “You know, herky-jerkyin’, back-slappin'”

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Luke: “You… are… handsome. You understand… draft… position”

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Luke and Andrew: “How, how are, how are you… Andrew… with 0 and 16? I’m… remarkably sanguine”

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Luke and David Burbank: Belichicken and Belichickian

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Luke and David Burbank: “How about Eli Manning? I mean, I’ve already said… a derp face. (Yeah, why not?) Like, he’s King of Derpville”

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Luke and David Burbank: “I don’t have any printer ink… I’m out of printer ink in this printer. Still? Probably from DFTB printing out too many résumés. Whatever. It’s fine. Hit him up… He needs work.”

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Luke and David Burbank: “I was raging for three (I was… I was just retweeting)”

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Luke and David Burbank: “We’re… getting dangerously close to three hours. Should we just talk about the Mariners for a minute? (Goddamnit)”

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Luke, Andrew and David Burbank: “I downloaded a brown app earlier today… (Ohh) Still wanna stay out of the bathroom. (Hey-oh) That’s gross. That is gross”

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Luke, Andrew and David Burbank: “The challenge for me is, I have to host an event in Portland on Thursday night. (Ooh) Why, why do you do this to yourself? Yeah, what the hell?”

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Luke, Andrew and David Burbank: “There’s something about the soul of a head coach. I knew we were getting there! There’s something about the soul of a Carroll. There’s… something about the soul of flame they can’t melt the steel”

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Clips From TBTL #2525: No Point Conversion Edition

Andrew: “And, I would like to just remind you guys that we brought back Junior… and that went perfectly”

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Andrew: “Beep”

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Andrew: “Goodness”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “He was the guy, right? Am I confusing my quarterbacks?”

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Andrew: “Now, we have an excuse. We all have to watch the Browns… lay a big brown next week against the Packers”

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Andrew: Saying “Dilly dilly!” as Tony Rizzo

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Andrew: “What do you mean we’re outta milk!?”

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Andrew: “You think I don’t know much about football; I know even less about baseball”

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David Burbank: “Booger eater”

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David Burbank: “Howdy, howdy gents”

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David Burbank: “Kizer can only fuck it up so many times”

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David Burbank: “The whole Seahawks secondary was… Dread Pirate Roberts… right?”

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David Burbank: “Weed is a powerful drug”

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David Burbank and Andrew: “Run the fucking ball (Right)”

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Luke: “But, also, I’m just a fan of trickeration”

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Luke: Discussing a Hawk Squad text sent from his mom about Russell Wilson’s eyes during a game

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Luke: “He’s dilly-dillying with everyone”

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Luke: “I gotta text Carey that, ‘Sometimes, more is more'”

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Luke: “I just got a text from Carey that says, ‘Sometimes, less is more'”

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Luke: “Last night, I had a couple of flare ups… I did… throw up the double bird at Byron Maxwell and tell him, ‘Fuck you'”

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Luke: “Listen… you’ve made your feelings very clear on the matter, Walsh”

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Luke: “Oh! Oh. Oh”

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Luke: “Picking the nose? Understandable…. Eating it? No, no bueno”

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Luke: Saying “Uh, we will know that we have made… the longest episode of TBTL… probably in history… in 3… 2… 1…” and playing Exciting Celebrate Music

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Luke: “There’s something about the soul of a Super Bowl… experienced team, like the Seahawks”

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Luke: “They’re not the… Shaquille O’Neal… and The General… Skydive.com.ninja Bowl”

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Luke: “To these… pearls of wisdom that I like to just share with everybody, whether they ask for it or not”

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Luke: “We did it, Rudy! Three hours!”

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Luke: “We’re seeing something we ain’t never seen before?”

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Luke: “Yo Gabber Gabber”

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Luke and Andrew: “First dude-friend who tries to use ‘dilly dilly’ like it’s a real thing gets a swift kick to the nuts (Yes!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Fuck it. Let’s just go for three hours. (No) I… none of us have lives. I gotta post this show… And, I need to edit… I’m gonna go through and edit every minute of this too”

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Clips From TBTL #2520: No Point Conversion Edition

Andrew: “Do you know what it looks like on an Android?”

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Andrew: “If you cut me, I will bleed red; but, it’s only because my blood is red”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m rooting against you guys from now on!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Well, I never asked to be born, David!”

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Andrew: “Well, she’s the, like, the smuggest. And, I’m gonna tell ya, like there’s something wrong with me and Vieves”

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Andrew: “What are, what’s going on with the Bears?”

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Andrew: “You keep referring to him as your… real brother. Do you have a fake brother… that you’re, kinda, trying to distinguish David from?”

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David Burbank and Luke: “No tangent too long? And, no fact too wrong?”

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Luke: “Dave, will you… release the Kraken, really quick? Rudy, who decided to come in here to hang out with her real uncle, Dave”

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Luke: “I’m not as geeked any time there’s an NFL game on; and, I used to be geeked any time there was an NFL game on”

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Luke: “In the words of Heidi Klum… ‘One day, ya in. Next day, ya out'”

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Luke: “What’s Alabama doing? What’s Auburn doing? What’s South Carolina doing? What’s Florida doing? What’s Michigan doing? What’s… Ohio State doing? And, what’s Notre Dame doing? And… occasionally, what’s USC doing?”

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Luke: “You wanna do No Point!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can we call this episode, ‘Actual Brothers’? Yes!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, here you have three people… talking about… a sport that we’re pretty obsessed with. I’m talking about us, right now, in this moment, my actual brother… and then, Andrew… Assholes”

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Clips From TBTL #2516: No Point Conversion Edition

Andrew: “What… have… people’s reaction to Blair Walsh missing that final field goal. Are people, like, all like, ‘Let’s kill Walsh again’?”

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David Burbank: “Booyah!”

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David Burbank: “Fuck off!”

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David Burbank: “Howdy, howdy”

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Luke: “A fish stinks from the head”

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Luke: “A… ka-billion”

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Luke: “Considering that Pete Carroll… I think… coach one of the worst games I’ve ever seen an NFL coach… coach”

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Luke: “Our friend, the blogger emeritus of the show, Stu-bot, hates me… and hates us, really, as a group”

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Luke: “That being said… I woulda killed for a G-D instant replay”

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Luke: “The posting of that picture, that’s an act of war… as far as I’m concerned”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “You don’t get to talk about my pain. (Oh, okay. Fine) You don’t get to pain-shame me”

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