Day: November 3, 2015

Andrew “Ah, anyway, I’ll stop talking now. What do you… what’s your experiment?”

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Andrew: Andrew misses the Slabjacking drop so much

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Andrew: “Everybody in the country is waiting with bated breast to find… breast! Breath.”

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Andrew: “I’m out of my element here, maybe Chris Hayes’ll get mad at me and call into the show, or something.”

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Andrew: “I’m still starring things on my phone, man. It’s weird, I got a foot in both worlds. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

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Andrew: “Is it that you don’t want me to start the show by reading some of the worst tweets that I happened to stumble on, on the Tweeters?”

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Andrew: Laughing and Saying “Ohhhhhhhhh”

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Andrew: “Nope.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, well they’re out to get me over there. You wouldn’t believe the person I work with…”

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Andrew: Reading some of the lyrics to Rage Against The Machine’s “Wake Up”

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Andrew: Stuttering

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Andrew: “That was amazing, Luke.”

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Andrew: “You dig what I’m sayin'”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew and Luke need a bigger bell

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Luke: “Andrew, all I can say is, and I don’t mean to pull rank on you here, brother”

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Luke: “By the way, I went to the Psalty website yesterday, because I was ready to straight up sharp-shoot Linh back. But then, he was right, it was actually ‘Psalty the Singing Songbook’ on the official Psalty website.”

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Luke: “It’s crazy dude. I don’t know how you keep it all straight, I guess you don’t.”

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Luke: “Listener Linh, never one to let an error go by”

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Luke: “No-no-no”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m going to start it over… Clear. Start! We now have 49 minutes (Okay) to the do the show. Mmm-kay. Okay? I’ve got about 30 minutes of material. Do you want me to go first?”

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Luke and Andrew: “These people were working off of a dating service that use Daguerreotypes. Ohhhhhhhhh, an age joke.”

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Andrew: “Because people are trying to keep their ghoulish figure. Aaaaaaaaaaay, it’s a spooktacular!”

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Andrew: “Do me a favor”

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Andrew: Extended Laughter

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Andrew: “Helsinki”

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Andrew: “Hey, can I ask y… or they, well, they, m…”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I really don’t want attention thrust on me at all.”

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Andrew: Muttering

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Andrew: “Well, look at this guy. Columbo’s here!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t want Senpai to notice me, is basically what I’m saying. Don’t notice me, Senpai.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s called stalling, Luke. (Oh, got it!) It’s called stalling. (Excuse me.)”

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Andrew and Luke: “That is something that Serengeti can get down with. Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: They need a bigger stadium pail

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Luke: “Andrew… I don’t know… ‘Hot Dog Story’ Walsh? Is that scary enough?”

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Luke: Doing a Norm Macdonald impression

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Luke: “May the hot dog rise to meet your mouth and may the windstorm always be at your back.”

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Luke: “Maybe my scary name is Norm Macdonald.”

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Luke: Saying “I was walking through the house” in a Dracula-esque voice

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Luke: Saying “Ooooh, Aaaah! I want to suck your blood!” in a Dracula-esque voice

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Luke: “That’s what exactly Andrew ‘Hot Dog Story’, I’m sorry, what Andrew ‘Windstorm’ Walsh would do. Okay.”

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Luke: “Welcome to Friday!”

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Luke: “Wolves becoming men, men becoming wolves, podcasters becoming scared.”

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Luke: “Yes!”

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Luke: “You see what I did there?”

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Luke and Andrew: “But it would… But, you’re talking about the fudge and not the lemonade? I’m talking, yeah, exactly, around the corner. Where the fudge is made, yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “No tombstone to tall and call your congressman to all.”

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Andrew: “And the potted plants were on the floor! And then, I cleaned them up.”

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Andrew: “Everything I say is wrong.”

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Andrew: “God dang it.”

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Andrew: “I guess, I dunno. I dunno how things work. I actually don’t even know where babies come from.”

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Andrew: “I quit.”

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Andrew: “I take that back, that’s not interesting.”

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Andrew: “I wince internally and then I think about it when I get home later, and I scream into my pillow.”

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Andrew: “I’m fetal position until the day I die.”

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Andrew: “Is there a way I can do this podcast without opening my mouth?”

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Andrew: “It’s not inside my head, it’s outside my head. It’s all over my, it’s all over the Internet!”

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Andrew: “Just hand over fist, I’m just eating hot dogs like crazy, shoving ’em in my face.”

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Andrew: Laugh Hiccup

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Andrew: “Let’s put the piss, fart and sucks on the shelf for now.”

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Andrew: “My blowing wind story was on fleeks.”

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Andrew: “Not to turn this into a hot dog story”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho-ho! I forgot about that song. Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Ooh! There’s something dangerous going on outside those doors.”

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Andrew: “Really?!?”

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Andrew: Saying “Is so random” in a Valley Girl accent

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Andrew: Saying “Yes.” in a Valley Girl accent

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Andrew: “This is a powerful mofo.”

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Andrew: “Umm!”

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Andrew: “Yay! This is a desert plant and now it belongs in the desert!”

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Andrew: “You know, if every time God closes a door and opens a window, he’s probably taking a poo.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, God bless them because…for the grace of God. I’m just going to keep saying God. (Mmm-hmm.)”

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Luke: “And, do not ever try to cut in on my amazing intros to the show.”

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Luke: “Damn, that’s a pressure ass honkey.”

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Luke: “Do not, whatever you do, do not praise the machine.”

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Luke: “Hate? That’s a pretty grodie word!”

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Luke: “Hold on a second”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Luke does not remember what’s happened on this program. It’s a recurring segment, it happens all day, every day on this show.”

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Luke: “No-no-no.”

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Luke: “Ohhh!”

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Luke: “Okay, hold on a second. Hold on a second.”

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Luke: Reciting words from “Hi-Tops”

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Luke: “The default setting for Southern California is just, 85.”

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Luke: “The whole town is a-buzz!”

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Luke: “They lose their S”

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Luke and Andrew: “Entomology is the study of breakfast pastry (Oh, right) made by Entenmann’s.”

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Luke and Andrew: God love them, God bless, God speed and God dang it

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Luke and Andrew: “Hand over fist. Hand over fist.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke didn’t pay attention to Andrew saying that he wasn’t taking notes

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Luke and Andrew: Luke thought his trip had four legs, even though it was only three

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait a sec. You moved a plant from Washington state to Los Angeles? Well, no. Officially, no. Of course not, Luke, that would be illegal.”

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Andrew: “A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!”

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Andrew: “Every time you say ‘Bop City’, I’m going to make a ‘boing’ sound.”

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Andrew: “Give us some dollar bills, yo!”

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Andrew: “Hey, Lucky!”

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Andrew: “Hmm… Mmm-kay”

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Andrew: “I don’t know.”

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Andrew: “I want to be entertained.”

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Andrew: “I’m a self-loathing hat performer.”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry if I’m being overly bossy.”

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Andrew: “If I’m looking at the clock right now, it’s 9:35 in the morning. Welcome to the Zoo crew.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm.”

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Andrew: “Muse-gician”

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Andrew: “My eyes were leaking so much by the end, because Chris is really mean to me.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Wow, we’re really hitting the Zoo talk here.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thought he lost Luke when he mentioned the Cleveland Browns

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Andrew and Luke: Luke wants Andrew to call him by his full name “LukeChristian Burbank”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “There it is. There it is!” after the “Boing” drop is played

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Andrew and Luke: The guys don’t know if the e-mail came from a female, a male, a he-dog or a she-dog because they can’t say the name of the e-mailer

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Andrew and Luke: “Watch out El Ropo. Uh-oh. Watch out El Ropo!”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Tapi’ Walsh”

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Luke: Cute Giggle

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Luke: “How’s it going, Tapi?”

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Luke: “I’m nervous about your flight.”

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Luke: “I’ve got a lot going on you guys, okay? That’s what I’m trying to say.”

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Luke: “LukeChristian Burbank”

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Luke: “People gotta know the phrase that pays, right?”

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Luke: “Strudel”

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Luke: “Uh oh.”

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Luke: “We gotta get this guy on the blower!”

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Luke: “Welcome to the Morning Zoo, my friends.”

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Luke: “Wolves becoming Burbank, Burbanks becoming men.”

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Luke: “You know it!!!”

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Luke: “You said, you said cream. Coins rule everything around you.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I am always mixing up my Meat Puppets and my Possum Dixons. I know.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I was listening to The Writer’s Almanac yesterday, (No surprise.) as I’m want to do.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m in the closet with you right now. You are in the closet with me, unfortunately.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that Funkadelic? I think it’s Parliament.”

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Luke: “And then Smart Water, I’m like, I want to be smart!”

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Luke: “And, umm, I got into the bathroom and I was jigging out. I was getting jiggy with it.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Hollywood Hodor Tapioca Future Magic Castle Attendee’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Do you even Prairie Home, bro?”

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Luke: Doing the “Na na na na” bit from Will Smith’s “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It”

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Luke: “Feel the burn.”

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Luke: “Hornswoggle”

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Luke: “I’m class out the ass.”

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Luke: “I’m half a Durst”

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Luke: “I’m hardcore Dreamcatchering”

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Luke: “Is this dive too deep for you, bro?”

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Luke: “It’s just all farts”

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Luke: “It’s just all farts” with Andrew laughing

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Luke: “It’s-a like a Depends for my insides, and it draws up all of the moisture.”

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Luke: “Kate Smith, or excuse me, kiss, listener, or maybe kistener.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Listen to the Keith, bro!”

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Luke: “Night Pizza”

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Luke: “Nirvanna”

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Luke: “Noticing”

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Luke: “Oh, God.”

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Luke: “Oh, my God, am I Susie Burbank’s son.”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from Cypress Hill’s “Insane In The Membrane”

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Luke: “Shoot the Christmas tree!!!”

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Luke: Singing “Return of the drops. Oh my God!”

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Luke: Singing “Return of the Mack”

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Luke: Singing “There goes my hero” from Foo Fighter’s “My Hero”

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Luke: “This is, will send our listeners scrambling down a WebMD rabbit hole, and then telling me about it.”

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Luke: “This one is going, this one is going to Dreams Small Claims Court.”

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Luke: “Umm, can I file a claim for my laptop?”

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Luke: “When I wants me a Billy Bass, I gets me a Billy Bass.”

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Luke: “Whoo-whoo”

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Luke and Andrew: Doot-dooing melody of “Tom’s Diner” by Suzanne Vega

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Luke and Andrew: “Guess what Andrew? Huh. I have peed my pants now.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I meant Duck Tales. Woah-oh!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I was like, ‘Well, this one goes to three. (Right. Absolutely.) Why don’t you make, why don’t you make two tighter? This one goes to three. (Right.)'”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve only found one thing that works. Wearing diapers to bed.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re Luke Burbank, you file fraudulent claims. It’s what you do.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reading/reciting lyrics from Cypress Hill’s “Insane In The Membrane”

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Luke and Andrew: New take on Talking Heads’s “Once In A Lifetime”

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Luke and Andrew: “Our first e-mail is actually a v-mail. Our first b-mail is actually a v-mail. This is a weirdly punchy show for a Tuesday. It really is. Oh my God, Friday’s going to be a mess.”

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