Clips From TBTL #2114

Andrew: “And this makes me sound like a such a sensitive, ponytail man; which, I guess I am.”

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Andrew: Andrew explaining that he will have to redo the quiz but won’t edit out earlier bits

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Andrew: “Boom! You’re there.”

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Andrew: Disgusted Sigh

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Andrew: “Ever since they both came back, Theo has been caterwauling like crazy; going around the house howling and yowling.”

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Andrew: Funny Sound

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Andrew: “Getting sass from all, getting sass from all angles.”

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Andrew: “Hey, Genevieve!”

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Andrew: “I got that one right too. I guessed that one. We should, we should be a couple.”

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Andrew: “I hate this song so much. This is, this is proof of how much I love you that I’m gonna play this song.”

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Andrew: “I’m not good at communicating.”

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Andrew: “I’ve got all those things, so I’m not worried. You can say whatever you want.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Luke started his birthday weekend the right way, he’s skippin’ out of work early this week. (Yay!) That ‘Yay’ is not like ‘Yay, Luke isn’t here’, by the way. That ‘Yay’ is like ‘Yay for Luke’, he’s celebrating his birthday the right way. Just wanted to make that clear.”

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Andrew: “Never, ever, ur-ver.”

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Andrew: “Oh, that makes me sad.”

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Andrew: “Perfect boyfriend checklist. This is where I get a little hot under the collar.”

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Andrew: Saying “Genevieve, you are going to love this e-mail.” in a flat tonal manner

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Andrew: “Thanks for letting us steal it, Play Buzz. I’m just gonna poo all over your game now.”

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Andrew: “That’s, God, I’m, I know, I’m tryin’!”

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Andrew: “The quiz just took a dump on me.”

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Andrew: “We’re gonna be talking about earwax.”

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Andrew: “Well, here we go!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, that’s right. When Luke is out, we the special, the special Marsupial Gurgle version of Top Story, that I think listener Bill made for us.”

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Andrew: “Yeah, we’re probably gonna end up with different answers here. We should not be a couple.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: Cats, Baby Gates and Porch/Balcony Heights

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “Did you see a weird tweet from me today? No, I don’t read your tweets. Okay, good.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “Do you want to talk about earwax? Yeah, let’s talk about… Just slide right into a earwax, just like slip and slide into an earwax conversation? Eww.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “I think the smell is coming from inside the sink… Oh, you put in the sink! I thought you were putting in your ear. No, no, sorry, I didn’t make that clear. I’m not good at communicating.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “I’ve always wanted to have you on TBTL; and, I guess all we had to do was get rid of that Burbank character. Yeah, and it only took how many years. Just push him out of the way.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: iPhone Dating and Get Off My Lawn

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “No way! Yes it is. You’re wrong. Listeners, she’s wrong. I’m not wrong.”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “Oh, that makes me said! Why?”

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: Q-tip Cheat Days

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Andrew and Genevieve Haas: “You’re not gonna believe this. Did I get the same person you got, you got for me? No. The quiz just took a dump on me.”

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Genevieve Haas: Asking the TBTL Show Number Calculator what the show number is

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Genevieve Haas: Laughing

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Genevieve Haas: “That’s a good’un.”

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Genevieve Haas: “You know, they say all battery consumption is local.”

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: Genevieve apologizing to the Dazzling Donor for being spotlighted on a show without Luke

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: Laughing

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: “…like a baby gate, basically. But, it’s a cat.”

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: VH-1 Rocker

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: “We are reaching peak me, and this is more, more of me, more peak me. Show title, already!?!”

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Genevieve Haas and Andrew: “You know, I just, I want you to play at your level. Oh, geez Louise! I’m coming in strong!”

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Clips From TBTL #2113: Luke Burbank and Jen “Flash” Andrews Edition

Jen: “But, nobody loves the salad; because, the salad is roughage that cleans out your colon. That’s all it is.”

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Jen: “Cuz, I’m a human being. No human being wants a salad.”

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Jen: “I think their body is a wonderland.”

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Jen: “I yelled out, ‘The Shipping News! The Shipping News.'”

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Jen: “Just think about all of the things that happen to your body too; where, you’re like, is this a hemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer?”

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Jen: “Oh, Andrew.”

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Jen: “What I don’t want to do is to be a person who is too clingy.”

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Jen and Andrew: “Is anybody in America sitting in their own filth at the end of the day? It’s not that dirty! I am, but it’s not in the bathtub.”

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Jen, Andrew and Luke: “If you just think about it enough, does it go back to being a hemorrhoid? I don’t know. Turns out, it was a gummy bear. Did I eat beets? Beets: The great terrifier of the modern age.”

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Luke: “Beets: The great terrifier of the modern age.”

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Luke: Chuckling and saying “Right”

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Luke: “I should really have a script for the top of the show.”

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Luke: “I think that we think it ain’t no thang, because it happens a lot these days.”

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Luke: “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

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Luke: “‘Is it too early to get a fish sandwich?’ Never, on this program.”

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Luke: “It’s my Friday, Andrew! Don’t, don’t blame me, it’s my Friday.”

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Luke: Pod-dog is dogatonic

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Luke: “She is the Ur-True Thin.”

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Luke: “So, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

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Luke: Thanking an “anonymous” Dazzling Donor

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Luke: “They say, day drinking is the intersection of preparation and luck.”

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Luke: “Yesss!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, my girlfriend, in our society, my girlfriend sounds like ‘Oh, maybe they’ve been dating for a year.’ My wife sounds like, ‘Oh, they doin’ this!’ Mmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you ever have moments where you wish you were just married? No.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s the highest comedic compliment I pay someone… He’s never, he’s never said it to me, Jen. Let me just put it that way.”

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Luke and Andrew: Non-Wife and Common Law Work Wife

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Luke and Andrew: “There isn’t ever been a point where you’re like, ‘I wouldn’t mind kicking this up one notch, somehow.’ No.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, for me, and this is why I just keep getting married… Hey, stay away from Genevieve, you jerk.”

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Luke and Jen: “I had the funk of 40,000 Burbanks (Yeah)”

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Luke and Jen: “Let me go to my memory palace, aka the bathroom at the Guild 45th. Exactly.”

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Clips From TBTL #2113: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: Attempting to do the Price is Right Fail Horn

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Andrew: Chuckle

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Andrew: “God forbid that they ever see this shit!”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank. Hello, Luke Burbank.”

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Andrew: Inhaling and Exhaling

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Andrew: “It’s nice to have a, a culturally relevant person on the show to talk to Luke.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Mmm”

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Andrew: “No.”

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Andrew: “No.” #2

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Andrew: “No, it’s gone, it’s all gone. It’s all torn up and in a dumpster in LA.”

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Andrew: “No!!!”

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Andrew: “No!!! Really!?!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wow! There are dozens of you!”

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Andrew: “Really!?!”

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Andrew: “The worm has turn(ed).”

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Andrew: “There is a Salad Dragon that I’ve been chasing since you guys did your live show in, in South Seattle.”

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Andrew: “What does #ScrewAndrew mean though, does anybody know? Why is that trending? I don’t… I confused.”

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Andrew: “Wow! Wow.”

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Andrew: “You’re taking him on. Take him on!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “There’s nothing that we can’t do or wouldn’t do that, we couldn’t do if we were married. That’s a weird way of putting it. That’s not what I meant, but you follow me. Yeah, you’re talking about butt stuff.”

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Andrew, Jen and Luke: “You’re just saying, ‘Take a moment and hug your bathtub today.’ Yes. Right.”

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Clips From TBTL #2112

This episode is noteworthy in that the discussion of the likelihood of the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series and Donald Trump winning the 2016 elections.

Chris Hayes, Luke and Andrew: Discussing the possibility of both the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series and Donald Trump winning the election

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Also, Andrew asks Chris Hayes if he would take a deal from the Devil in that he would accept the Cubs win the World Series if it means that Trump is elected president.

Andrew, Chris Hayes and Luke: Chris Hayes making a deal with the Devil on both the Cubs winning the World Series and Donald Trump winning the election

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Andrew: “Because, God damn it, like, this makes my job exciting.”

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Andrew: “But, God damn it, there’s nowhere else I want to do it!”

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Andrew: “But, I love this venue.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Wow”

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Andrew: “Get ‘er done.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what you need from me.”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to know! I gotta stay in hotels!”

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Andrew: “I have a new project, that I am obsessed with; that, makes me sing in a weird, old lady voice.”

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Andrew: “I have a new project!”

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Andrew: “I was obsessed with that movie, in the 90s.”

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Andrew: “Is that the grossest thing I’ve ever said on TBTL, by the way? My apologies.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Making indifferent, shrugging sounds

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Andrew: “Okay… You guide me. You guide…. me.”

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Andrew: “You guide me. You guide me.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew spreading his own nastiness on hotel beds to cover up other nastiness

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Andrew and Luke: “I love you, man. I love you too.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is that the grossest thing I’ve ever said on TBTL, by the way? My apologies. Umm, I’ll have to hear it once Linh has isolated it as a Marsupial Gurgle clip to really know. I’ll have to hear it in the clear, Andrew; and then, and then I’ll be able to judge that.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Think of this as a wedding reception for TBTL. Nice. I love you, man. I love you too.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, I don’t use this phrase a lot, but get ‘er done. And, I’m glad you don’t use that phrase a lot, Andrew.”

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Chris Hayes: “There’s been some Tumblrs.”

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Luke: “Andrew the Cable Guy”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Have a fun time all you summer babes.”

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Luke: “How are you feeling on this Wednesday, friendo?”

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Luke: “How dirty is coffee… really?”

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Luke: “I don’t know why I’m whispering, in case the guy’s listening? I’m not sure; it still stresses me out.”

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Luke:” I don’t mean this to be critical, I’ve spent some very important parts of my life in basements.”

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Luke: “I wouldn’t call it a deep dive, but a medium dive”

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Luke: “Man, this song has mood!”

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Luke: “OMG! Those are…”

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Luke: “Pod-dog is back to where she belongs, curled up in her Pod-bed, watching the whole thing as it unfolds.”

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Luke: “The podcast adds twelve pounds.”

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Luke: “‘What show is this?’, you may be asking yourself, and ‘Why am I listening to it?’. Those are both fair questions.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that the reason why you keep calling me ‘Harriet, hard hearted, harbinger of haggis?’ I, I said to you yesterday, ‘Look at the size of that boy’s head.'”

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Luke and Andrew: Pert-verse

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Luke and Chris Hayes: “Noma(r)! Noma(r), exactly!”

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