Day: July 11, 2016

Andrew: “And now, I’m just like a confused dog. I’m just like, ‘I dunno. I dunno where the toy is.'”

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Andrew: “Can we agree that’s on both of us?”

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Andrew: “Frankly, I’m not a squeaking of a dog toy to get somebody’s attention kind of guy.”

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Andrew: “I creep myself out by saying that”

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Andrew: “I’m legit excited about it.”

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Andrew: “Not that one!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wow, that’s some James Bond villain shit! That’s great!”

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Andrew: “Oh!”

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Andrew: “PS: Do you love me now, daddy?”

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Andrew: “Sorry, I’m still waking up. It’s all coming back to me.”

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Andrew: “Then, I think that’s what put my ass to sleep as Ice T might say. Nope, as Ice Cube might say.”

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Andrew: “Unfortunately, they are the kind of dreams that wouldn’t really make sense once you tried to, to turn them into words anyway.”

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Andrew: “Weddings, when people want to celebrate their (f–) love. Fff–Whatever. I got love, don’t need to celebrate it.”

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Andrew: “You know, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, want a sip of water or something. Maybe, maybe, return some water back to nature.”

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Andrew and Luke: Dreamcatcher and Invisibooyah

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Andrew and Luke: Silver Spooning

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Luke: “And also, if Andrew can keep from falling back asleep.”

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Luke: “And, holy crap dude!”

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Luke: “Because, he likes us, he really, really likes us; or, I should say, he liked us.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Everything else is easier in the morning!”

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Luke: “Happy party times!”

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Luke: “I, uh, I, I retract the balance of my time… and cede the floor to the gentleman from Ohio.”

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Luke: “Isn’t that spatial?”

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Luke: “It is… wicked complicated!”

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Luke: Luke is recording the show from the shadows of a Cracker Barrel

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Luke: “Oh… hell… yeah!”

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Luke: “Silver spooning you”

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Luke: Singing “Andy and Bean, in the afternoon!”

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Luke: “To be a good shopper! Who’s a good shopper? Andrew’s a good shopper.”

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Luke: Whistling and saying “Disastrous”

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Luke: Whistling and saying: “The Stu-bot”

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Luke and Andrew: “And this also, by the way, contributed to why daddy left us. Yeah, I know. I know. Cuz, we weren’t good enough podcasters”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, because your’s cuz you were fired… Ha-ha, I was not fired! I had, I had accomplished everything I wanted to in the world of talk radio.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Listening to you guys flooring me with four, and dazzling me with deets, powering my outs. I’m gonna, I’m gonna power your outs”

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Luke and Andrew: “That was not a clown question, bro. Uh… (Good)”

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Luke and Andrew: “There is no way I’m stinking up my podcast network (Yeah) with these two guys doing whatever it is they do.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Uh… One, I get to be the big silver spoon; and, two, please never use the word lover on this program (I knew you were going to say that!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You only get… one chance to blow, that’s not true; I think, you get three chances to blow. (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke: “And I’ll have forgotten about the joke; and then, they’ll say it and I’ll, I’ll either laugh or be filled with secret rage. So, one of the two.”

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Luke: “And so, you’re not living the Santa lifestyle two-four-sev, three-sixty-five.”

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Luke: “Before all that though, we have to say hello to my friend, the official record keeper of this show. The guy who, you know, keeps me, keeps me on point, and keeps me on track; and, does a terrible job of it, if you’ve heard the show.”

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Luke: “But if you, you know, if you Larry the Cable Guy’d that up a little bit”

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Luke: “Hey, I’ve been thinking!”

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Luke: “I mean, seriously, I bet you Cheeky Monkey is jumping off, because… it stuck its finger in its butt and smelled it.”

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Luke: “I’m just excited that I haven’t sworn or said something mildly racist so far.”

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Luke: Imitating the beats used in System Of A Down songs

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Luke: “In three, DuDu, and one.”

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Luke: Luke’s phone chirped away while he was talking

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Luke: Making mouth trumpet sounds and singing “She’s A Lady”

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Luke: Making sounds with his tongue and lips

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Luke: “No, it’s not a fever dream or a bad trip.”

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Luke: “Oh my God. I am going to crap my pants in Branson, Missouri, while a thousand Santas and a thousand Branson residents watch.”

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Luke: “Oh, I’ve got a jolly belly!”

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Luke: “Something called, a, a play called, ‘Jerusalem’ and the guy who is the star is called ‘DuDu Fisher’.”

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Luke: “Two-four-sev, three-sixty-five”

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Luke: “What do… Yeah. What DuDu Fisher do?”

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Luke: “Who’s being a cheeky monkey now? Me, I think.”

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Luke: “Yeah, you know what? Let’s go full Christmas on it.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is a Double Extra Never

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is taking steps to becoming a Super Possessor

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, I have to tell you, I just had a terrible idea. Oh, good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “As we like to say on this show, you know, Thursday is the Friday of the middle week; which means, Wednesday is the Thursday of the middle week. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: Baldknobbers

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Luke and Andrew: Both trying to sing the “Exciting Celebrate Music” and saying “We make a good team. Yeah… we don’t.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Harvard Yard, park the car (Oh, Christ) Harvard Yard”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a strict deustructionist. There we go.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not far from the Crazy Larry’s Cheeky Monkey Bar. There it is, Crazy Craig’s Cheeky Monkey Bar! You’re not kidding.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s phone chirped again while Andrew was saying “…kind of modern way”

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Luke and Andrew: “Now, forgive my terrible, like, Boston accent, but… Let me, hold on, get into the zone. Harvard Yard, park the car (Oh, Christ) Harvard Yard. He was, he’ll, He’ll be saying like… Ah, I’m not gonna do the accent. (No)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Please, please leave your clothes on. Uh, nope, oops… already, already down to the jockstrap here. Yeah… I like that you wear a jockstrap for the show though… Well, you’re, you’re kind of a ball buster. Hey-oh! Doesn’t make tons of sense.”

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Luke and Andrew: Power Out and Missed Poop Joke

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Luke and Andrew: “The Italian restaurant is called ‘Pasghetti’s’. Oh my God.”

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s a place called, I believe it’s called ‘God and Country Theater’? Oh, Christ.”

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Andrew: “And I was just like, ‘Nah’.”

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Andrew: “And, I don’t think anybody is going to deliver on this, cuz they know I’m kind of a dick.”

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Andrew: “And, it was the worst imitation of anything I’ve heard in my life, including the imitations that I do.”

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Andrew: Butchering “Jean Valjean”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “He apparently bought this, didn’t do shit with it”

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Andrew: “I don’t mean to be a jerk about it, but…”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna just be ‘Yes, and’ for the sake of, for the sake of our friendship.”

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Andrew: “I know this just sounds like, ‘Uh yeah, Andrew. You’re describing the American Dream'”

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Andrew: “I’ve, I know nothing about Les Mis, so I don’t know anything about that character. Sorry, and I’m sure I butchered the God damn name.”

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Andrew: “Jer-USA-lem”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “No, leave the outfit on.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ”

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Andrew: “Oh, good”

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Andrew: “Thank God!”

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Andrew: “Thank God!” #2

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Andrew: “That was a solid power out poop joke.”

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Andrew: “There’s no chance we can just start from the top, is there?”

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Andrew: “Um, prooooob–Um… is there a Crazy Craig’s Cheeky Monkey Shack there?”

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Andrew: “Wait, wait, wait, wait”

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Andrew: “Who’s your favorite reindeer, and don’t say Rudolph.”

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Andrew: “You and I are not hams… I think.”

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Andrew: “You’re a strict hashtagolist!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Circle the wagons. That’s what I was trying to say. I was trying to say ‘circle the wagons’. There’s no chance we can just start form the top, is there? In three, DuDu, and one… Jean Valjean! Uhhh, so much to be embarrassed about.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ve been thinkin’. I’ve been thinking!”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke is a strict hashtagolist and a strict deustructionist

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Andrew and Luke: Nicknames for Appetizers and Sandwiches

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Andrew and Luke: “Uh, is that Jean Valjean? Is that how you say it? (Yeah) That was embarrassing for me. Yeah, now who’s making fun of DuDu Fisher, Walsh?”

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Andrew and Luke: “What do you, what do you want to know about DuDu Fisher? Actually, don’t answer that. (What’s… what’s?)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’ve been in similar situations before. Well, I have, but, I mean… They’re never good. Yeah, exactly.”

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Luke used a clip of the pipe organ voice, available as part of Mac OS X’s text-to-speech software, to introduce Andrew Walsh on the show.

Luke: Playing a clip of a pipe organ voice saying “Andrew Walsh, Andrew Walsh. A great place to Cuyahoga Clam, Andrew Walsh.”

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Since I could not get a clean version of the clip from the show, I attempted to reproduce the clip.

Pipe Organ Voice: “Andrew Walsh, Andrew Walsh. A great place to Cuyahoga Clam, Andrew Walsh.”

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Andrew: “Agent! Agent! Agent!”

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Andrew: Andrew botched the Konami code

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Andrew: “Could be a blessing!”

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Andrew: “Don’t let children or sketchy adults anywhere near the cat litter box.”

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Andrew: “Get off my lawn!”

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Andrew: “Ho-ho-ho-hooooo”

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Andrew: “I was just talking to my friend about this last night. Yeah, I got friends.”

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Andrew: “Is that not the biggest F-U, man?”

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Andrew: “Jesus!”

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Andrew: Laughing while saying “Love that you wrote ‘best friend’. Like, who talks like that? You’re 40 years old! Turns out, joke’s on me.”

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Andrew: “Ooh, key change! Holy cow!”

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Andrew: “Press: One, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound, Pound”

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Andrew: “That’s the way it goes, buddy!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, sorry. I used too many negatives and not enough positives.”

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Andrew: “You’re like the worst!”

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Andrew: “You’re like the worst! Get off my lawn!”

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Andrew and Luke: “He’s the hauty hoddy (Who was a hotty?) with a banging body.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem, but it might just be it. But, I also would like to throw out… Maybe a blessing, then? Could be a blessing!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Not like a (No) hotty-boom body (No) with a bangin’ body.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Remote controlly, so… umm… Remote controlly. I actually said it, (Yeah) I’m standing by it.”

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Luke: “Darth Greg”

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Luke: “I felt like I was so in the right, I had so much righteous indignation; which, I, I’m usually in the wrong, Andrew. That’s the thing, it’s a, it’s a strange and confusing feeling for me being in the right.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Luke didn’t have the correct button pushed down and the drop didn’t play on the recording

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Luke: Luke needed to pull himself together after saying “In a collector’s steeries” instead of “In a collector’s series”

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Luke: Spit Take

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Luke: “The hauty hoddy with the naughty body makes…”

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Luke: What Luke would say to a voice response system used by call centers

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Luke and Andrew: “Because my dad can do all of this stuff, if he needed to. We get (that) your dad is super-cool, why do you keep on bragging about your dad all the time?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Could we start saying ‘My ass from the Velvet Underground’? We could. You know what? That’s the beauty of this podcast: we could say anything we want.”

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Luke and Andrew: “”I, Snowbot’ That is a good title.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve also never heard it called, ‘ass from the underground.’ I know! Honestly, Luke, listen… Just like, co-host to co-host here, (Yes) I think that’s really why I wanted to play that voicemail.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke explaining what a hoddy or hod carrier is and does

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