Clips From TBTL #2274

Andrew played some tape of Tony Rizzo ranting about the Cleveland Browns putting on a parade after not winning any games so far in the season. The following are a couple of the great bits that were in the clear. Additional clips from Tony Rizzo can be found on the “Grab Bag of Drops” page.

Tony Rizzo: “I don’t want you on my team!”

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Tony Rizzo: “I want winners! And, I want people that wanna win! I don’t want people that celebrate losing!”

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Tony Rizzo: “That is the loserist of all loser moves I’ve ever heard in my life. My God, man!”

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Andrew: “Alright, you guys. I am not exaggerating when I say, this is the closest I’ve come to not delivering a TBTL into your podcast inbox.”

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Andrew: “But, I certainly not be dow–in downtown Cleveland marching in this sad-ass parade”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Come here, I need to play you some Rizzo tape.”

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Andrew: “Come smell my pee!”

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Andrew: “Everything is falling apart!”

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Andrew: “Hey-yeow!”

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Andrew: “I also have some regrets over singing that into this microphone; so, we both have some regrets.”

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Andrew: “I follow the Browns. I get frustrated by the Browns. I yell at the Browns. Sometimes I hit things and hurt my hand during Browns games.”

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Andrew: “I know that you guys, you can’t handle a lot of Rizzo. I’ve read the emails”

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Andrew: “I’m getting a note from my boss here, that says we’ve gone over our limit of times we’re allowed to say ‘stinky pee’ on TBTL”

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Andrew: “It’s at 4 PM!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing to Tony Rizzo ranting

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Andrew: “Need to finish writing the newsletter, boom. Record some spots, boom. Finish writing TBTL for today, boom.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God. Yeah.”

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Andrew: “Quote, unquote talent”

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Andrew: Singing “Summer, summer, summertime!”

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Andrew: “Stupid… Idiot!”

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Andrew: “That sounded real jerky”

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Andrew: “There were some technical ins… some technical outs”

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Andrew: “This has really gone off the rails”

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Andrew: “Ugh!”

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Andrew: “Uh, it’s so good!”

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Andrew: “Well… Cleveland Browns fans are so damn frustrated with this team”

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Andrew: “What does ‘Does not compute’ mean?”

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Andrew: “When you talk less, there’s less to regret. Right?”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Whoa! Is this a Libby Denkmann original theory?”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew: “You actually heard the live show?”

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Andrew: “You know what? I don’t know a lot about sex.”

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Andrew and Libby Denkmann: “Do you know what I’m gonna do? That was a, a laugh from the depths of hell that you just gave.”

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Andrew and Libby Denkmann: “That’s too painful for even me to listen to (Oh, Jesus) any more than that.”

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Andrew and Libby Denkmann: “We’re killing it. (Yeah) I’m killing it. (Uh-huh)”

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Libby Denkmann: “Andrew, I thought that was one of our better ones. That in my, in my memory was really good, and like some sort of Juilliard level performance.”

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Libby Denkmann: “God, I need those words. I need those words so badly, Andrew.”

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Libby Denkmann: “How dare you, sir. How dare you.”

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Libby Denkmann: “I, I drop the ‘F’ bomb… I’m, I’m saying fuck all the time.”

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Libby Denkmann: “Oh God, I know where this is going now”

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Libby Denkmann: “Oh, hell no. I do not miss it.”

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Libby Denkmann: Reciting lyrics from The Beach Boys’ “Little Saint Nick”

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Libby Denkmann: “This was a real, ‘Yes, and’ moment”

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Libby Denkmann: “You’re welcome”

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Libby Denkmann and Andrew: “And, I barely even miss you. Oh well, thanks. I’m glad that’s how you ended that thought.”

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Libby Denkmann and Andrew: “It takes a village to record this podcast… (Oh my gosh!)”

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Libby Denkmann and Andrew: “The Tens really kick ass, (Yeah) I gotta say. (They really do) You guys have the best listeners.”

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Libby Denkmann and Andrew: “Yeah, well, because, people have lives without you, Andrew (I know)”

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Clips From TBTL #2273

Andrew started off the show’s intro with a voicemail message from Steve, the Stu-bot, Neuman; in which, Steve would have hoped that Andrew would have studied it out when it comes to choosing Aaron Mason as a guest co-host.

Steve Neuman: Voicemail Message

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Aaron Mason: “Hello, Andrew, and Heil Stu-bot!”

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Aaron Mason: “Hey, buddy!”

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Aaron Mason: “Holy Shanghai!”

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Aaron Mason: “Recipes are a springboard for interpretation. It gives you your baseline, something to work from, and then substitute and embellish as you see fit.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “I’m so sad; and, like (Right) ba-ba-ba-ba!”

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Aaron Mason, Tom Wassell and Andrew: “Spree was like the rich man’s Sweet Tart. Yeah, absolutely! You’re right!”

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Andrew: “Amaze-balls”

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Andrew: “As the–those words came out of my mouth, I realized it’s twenty-sixteen. We’re gonna start a new weblog…”

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Andrew: “Do some people not get the stinky pee; or, do they just not have the ability to smell the stinky pee?”

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Andrew: “Goddamn it!”

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Andrew: “How embarrassing would it be if he, likes, gets back on shore, and is just bombarded by the hundreds of topless selfies that I’ve been sending him all week?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how to host a… G-d talk show!”

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Andrew: “I dunno. Whatever”

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Andrew: “I’d say you’ve come to the right place, friendos”

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Andrew: “It was goddamn Jobian!”

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Andrew: “Oh, man”

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Andrew: “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: “Oh, oh! We need to turn you on.”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit! I did screw him over”

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Andrew: “Peop–people, people are gross”

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Andrew: “She’s been doing a lot of photos of things that happen inside our kitchen, like when I’m asleep, and then posting them out to the world”

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Andrew: “The good news is we never get into the weeds on anything on this show”

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Andrew: “Welcome to TBTL, this is the show that is most dolphinately Too Beautiful To Live”

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Andrew: “What was my endgame? God knows what my endgame was.”

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Andrew: “When we are all at our lowest low, we gotta remember this story or other stories from our own life”

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Andrew: “Which is almost as disturbing as that image I just put in your head. Sorry about that.”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I will say thought, I felt there’s an overriding… vibe? It was the illest. Oh, ho-ho-ho!”

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Andrew and Tom Wassell: Dropping the “S” bomb on air

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Andrew and Tom Wassell: “Luke’s not here today, so maybe, right now, they’re being like, (The Luke fans are out) ‘Hey, I, I, I, I paid for Luke, I didn’t pay for this!'”

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Andrew and Tom Wassell: “You just are looking at me, like… (I was) You are befuddled, my friend (No)”

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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Tom Wassell: Riffing on Weird Al’s “I Want A New Duck”

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Andrew, Aaron Mason and Tom Wassell: Singing to Weird Al’s “Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye of the Kaiser)”

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Andrew, Tom Wassell and Aaron Mason: Andrew and Aaron cracked up when Tom found out how long a TBTL show normally runs

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Tom Wassell: Singing a portion of an Eric Clapton song

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Tom Wassell and Andrew: “Lay down Sally… Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…! Get outta here, Tom Wassell! (See ya later)”

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???: Saying “You’re a loser!” as Don Pardo on “I Lost On Jeopardy!”

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