Day: May 22, 2020

Andrew: “Because, anytime anything gets uncomfortable, I have to make jokes. It’s the only way I know how to survive”

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Andrew: “Hey, listen pally!”

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Andrew: “It’s a sweet, little playback machine here”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Geez, I’m still learning”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah. A chair? I need one too”

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Andrew: “Phishing begets phishing”

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Andrew: Saying “Tick talk” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s counter-intuitive, my friend”

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Andrew: “The Subconscious… Lee”

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Andrew: “This is so boring. I… I don’t care”

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Andrew: “Tsk tsk tsk”

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Andrew: “Was that interesting? No”

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Andrew: “Where are we… Where are going–What is this all about?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, so they have your deets! This isn’t just some other guy named… Buke Lurbank; who, also says ‘Voltswagen’ on Reddit. (Mmm-hmm) Like, this is you!”

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Luke: “Arrgggh!!”

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Luke: “Get in!”

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Luke: “I don’t like Experian; and, Experian doesn’t like me”

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Luke: “I like to be able to control how everybody thinks about me… Cuz, then, I can make sure they’re thinking the right thoughts about me. And, then, I’m gonna be okay”

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Luke: “I texted it to you, in print!”

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Luke: “It’s Fri-yay, everybody!”

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Luke: Saying “I don’t have a lavelier” as Andy Rooney or Gilbert Gottfried

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Luke: Saying “My, my head hurts” in a high-pitched voice

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Luke: Saying “Tick talk” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Shit went down yesterday”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned for making a ‘tick talk’ spoof that Luke had also, supposedly, texted to Andrew

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Andrew: “And, I know I’m taking it back to a place that the listeners are… done with!”

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Andrew: “Andrew, you’re being a child!”

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Andrew: “Baking Splenda! I got baking Splenda!”

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Andrew: “How did I mess that up too?”

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Andrew: “I can’t! I can’t, dog!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what to do. I guess it lives there now”

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Andrew: “I had to… glop around a lotta mayonnaise”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of dream stuff”

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Andrew: “I’d love to eat too many hot dogs!”

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Andrew: “I’m… taking a shame holiday”

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Andrew: “In fact, she started listening much more than I did. No offense… Some offense”

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Andrew: “It was a goddamn tick!”

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Andrew: “It wasn’t me just playing in the mayonnaise space”

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Andrew: “Reunition [sic] to remix?”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m gonna milk this for all its worth” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Weird!!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Snore it down, America!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “The theme of the ‘thon”

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Andrew: “This is problematic… that it’s breaking off; but, whatever!”

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Andrew: “Uh… Ooh… You go… No, you go… Alright… It was good to have you as a stu… Okay… Great”

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Andrew: “What the hell is going on, Em Bot!?”

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Andrew: “Would you allow… a little bit of dream talk here at the top of the show?”

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Andrew: “Yeah; and, it says one of the symptoms to look out for is… if, after several days, you start talking weird!!”

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Andrew: “Yeah; and, it says one of the symptoms to look out for is… if, after several days, you start talking weird!! Sorry. What a strange joke that was… and, just awful… for everybody”

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Andrew: “You see none of my flesh in this picture”

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Andrew: “You’re doing it wrong!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re jibbered, I’m jabbered… (Yup) Let’s get at ‘er’d”

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Luke: “Believe me. After, like, my fourth shot of whiskey, it was a blur!”

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Luke: “I was reading an e-mail message from the other… Andrew Walsh. Siri… relax”

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Luke: “I’m gonna milk this for all its worth”

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Luke: “I’m not gonna give that a ding”

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Luke: “Luke Burbank… I’m blown away. You found me”

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Luke: Saying “Whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Good job with that banana painting”

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Luke: Singing “Ground Control to Andy Warhol”

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Luke: “Take that, populism!”

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Luke: “Talk about tick talk!”

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Luke: “The longer I nap, the worse the waking up is”

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Luke: “What’s wrong with you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Two Dougs… Dougin’ it up! (Dougin’ it up!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “This one would have fizzled; but, it didn’t… (Mmm-hmm) It’s fazzling… It’s a fazzling fetail?”

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Andrew: “Avoid the algorithm, my friends”

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Andrew: “God, I gotta stop talking now”

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Andrew: “I am getting more and more clumsy. That is not a good thing”

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Andrew: “I did do worse”

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Andrew: “I mean, at this point, Papa John… don’t care about time, maybe”

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Andrew: “I will definitely ask for a fork and a knife, and I will cut the–especially those wide and long ones. I will definitely ask for a fork and knife… and, and do my deal. Cut off the tip and then cut… the big slice down the middle, to make it two small, manageable pieces”

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Andrew: “I will definitely ask for a fork and knife… and, and do my deal. Cut off the tip”

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Andrew: “No, I don’t want… to be eating tons of tons of a dry bun. I want the good stuff. I want the protein in the middle”

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Andrew: “Not on bikes, not outdoors. Nothing as cool; and, they weren’t shades”

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Andrew: “Things got locked down!”

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Eileen: Leaving a message with a funny duck joke

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Luke: “Home of the big bun”

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Luke: Saying “A hearty loogie hock to you” and snorting

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Luke and Andrew: “There is an actually a national shortage of ham… Maybe, because the Pasqally’s Pizzas [sic] are… hogging all of it, so to speak, Andrew. Oh my God. Or, I was gonna say, because everybody’s going ham on the ham”

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Andrew: “Are you sweating glue? Are you sweating glue, my friend? What is that… like, coming down from your hairline?”

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Andrew: “Eat my shonts! Don’t have a crow, man”

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Andrew: “I’d like the court to exonerate me”

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Andrew: “I’m a brain mechanic”

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Andrew: “Luke, please. This is a prepared statement”

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Andrew: “Now, I cannot sit here and argue… that that is a pleasant sound; or, that I should be making it on the show”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! I did it! I didn’t even mean to do that!”

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Andrew: “Oh, now I’m racking my brain; and, that’s not gonna be good for the show”

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Andrew: “Smilin’ and dialin'”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting and saying “Oh, no! I did it! I didn’t even mean to do that! That’s the laugh!”

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Andrew: “That’s not how this–Luke, this is a prepared statement”

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Andrew: “Who the hell is trying to log into my account!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m going holy. I’m going holy! (I’m going holy! Yeah!) Oh, you had the backup”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “I’m going holy. I’m going holy! (I’m going holy!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You just can’t let go of that. That’s all you can focus on… You beat me to it! You son of a gun!”

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Luke: “Bazinga”

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Luke: “Bazingo!”

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Luke: “Bazingo?”

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Luke: “Big Bang-heads out there”

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Luke: “Eat my shonts”

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Luke: “Has beef been squashed with listener Aron?”

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Luke: Saying “Yeah. Take that, Aron!” and snorting

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Luke: Singing “Your Christian music station… KCMS”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “You’re blowing my mind!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, all of us who aren’t dead by then will be humpin’ and bumpin’… Oh, God!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke snorting and Andrew saying “But… Oh, God… damnit! You did this, Aron. This is what you did! You did this! Look around you! I want you to hold your arms out, and spin around in the room, and say, ‘What have I done?'”

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