Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “Awesome! Thanks for the message! Surfs up!”

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Andrew: “Can I just watch TV now!?”

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Andrew: “Disco Walsh don’t advertise”

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Andrew: “Dude’s going to the gym. I’m not”

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Andrew: Flat “What?”

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Andrew: “I don’t birthday myself”

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Andrew: “I like my bacon way more flaccid… I think”

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Andrew: “It’s a yakkity-Zak!”

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Andrew: “Oh, you had turgid bacon?”

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Andrew: “Ooh! Explicit”

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Andrew: “People always write in and they’re like, ‘How do you make a podcast? Can you tell us?’ And, I’ll tell you… plug things in, and you unplug ’em, and you plug ’em back in to something else”

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Andrew: Singing “Which, nobody… can deny”

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Andrew: “Smell the smell”

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Andrew: “The Mariners haven’t had a season this good since, since 2003; which is, as you know, I was still in the baseball womb, at that time”

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Andrew: “This is officially called… ‘Music-Blursday-Right Way To Rock-Andrew Walsh Remix… Extended Remix'”

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Andrew: “Ya mom’s in my bizness”

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Andrew: “Yes! Aaahhh!!”

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Andrew: “You crazy for this one, Sue!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thinks the “Ooh! Explicit” drop has been one of most played drops since January and Luke asks how many times he has played the “Ooooh!” drop and keeps on playing it

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Andrew and Luke: “But, as you know, I’m new to baseball. This is, we, we… You say that; but… (This is my eighth year of watching baseball) that’s not new!! Well, relatively. That’s not new!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Fourth verse, same as the first! A little bit louder and a little bit worse”

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Andrew and Luke: “I like my bacon way more flaccid… I think… Now, nobody eating bacon every again! So many ways you could’ve des–No, they’re all gross: floppy, limp… You’re right. Alright, flaccid. I salute that”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m a kid, I don’t watch the news (Nope)”

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Andrew and Luke: “It has fifty hard keys on it… Ooh! I didn’t know the keys were hard. Now, that changes everything”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke is anticipating and annoyed that Andrew might play a slide whistle or spring sound effect drop; but, Andrew plays the turkey gobble drop instead

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Andrew and Luke: “No you didn’t! Absolutely!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s crazy. Cuz, you play that all the time; because, I’m always saying funny things. Exactly”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, sometimes you eat the Twinkie; and… Sometimes the Twinkie eats you”

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Andrew: “And, he said, ‘You just gotta get your reps in. You’ll be good some day. You just gotta get your reps in’ Ha-ha! I showed him. I’ve done tons of reps and I’m still not good”

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Andrew: “And, I’m not trying to sound like a conspiracy… person… I’m conspiracy-abled”

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Andrew: “As a matter of fact, it’s a dream of mine. I love… money, and I love finding money. So, finding a lot of money is, like, a dream of mine”

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Andrew: “Do you… dig that at all?”

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Andrew: “Good stuff, Luke”

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Andrew: “Guys, guys, guys”

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Andrew: “Hey, kid! That’s mine!”

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Andrew: “Hi, I’m Luke… I’ll be your yogurt salesman today”

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Andrew: “How come I can’t hear it? Oh, because I’m an idiot”

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Andrew: “How to be mahalo in un-mahalo times?”

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Andrew: “I don’t… I don’t… I don’t really like teachers”

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Andrew: “I just wanted a hot take. I just wanted to carve out my hot take”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’m definitely a big tool”

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Andrew: “I probably would not be one of those people out there grabbing this money; but, it has nothing to do with a moral compass, for God’s sakes. It has to do with me just being, like, embarrassed… and weird, and not wanting to be part of a public frenzy. I’ve seen so many movies; whether, it’s… you know, Batman or The Magic Christian, or… Batman”

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Andrew: “I was complaining about the LAX… I know. Can you imagine me complaining about something pedestrian? But, I was”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Let’s not relive those days. I’m becoming the ugly person I was back then. I don’t wanna… I’m… I’m a new guy now. I’m a guy who drinks mango-flavored diet cola, created and distributed by the Coca-Cola Company”

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Andrew: “No, no, no. I didn’t get cancelled, dude… I’m going the Big City to take another job”

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Andrew: “Oh, God”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! I don’t know. Now, I’m talking myself out of it”

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Andrew: “Oh, this gives me the good feeling”

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Andrew: “Okay. Now, we’re in a moral gray area”

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Andrew: Saying “…or Penny’s… Did you get my good side?” after Luke took a screenshot of something

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Andrew: “Why are you such a bad person?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I’m not a big Tool head”

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Andrew: “You’re making memories, Luke”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “Chicken tinga tostadas… with avocados! Lukey B! Lukey B!! Who’s making roasted sweet potatoes and zucchini!?” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Am I alright, everyone?”

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Luke: “Just drove this thing right off the friggin’ rails, right out of the gate”

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Luke: “Lock the door of the armored truck, y’all!”

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Luke: “Look, I don’t wanna brag; but, I do have a Wizard number… okay?”

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Luke: Luke forgot to turn up the volume knob for his sound effects at the start of the show

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Luke: “Man! I would’ve been at the front of the line… at the front of the line… to get that money”

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Luke: Mumble-singing something as Michael McDonald

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Luke: “Oh… God! Off to a hot start”

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Luke: Saying someone’s name, but garbled

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Luke: “So much to talk about yesterday… mostly stuff that we… didn’t get to… Did say, ‘So much to talk about yesterday’? Am I alright, everyone? Is there some kind of medication that I need a lot of… or, that I should stop taking?”

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Luke: “There are bad bands with bad names; and, there are good bands with good names; but, then, there’s different list of good bands with bad names”

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Luke: “This is the volume control; and, when it’s down at zero… you don’t have any sound. But, when it’s up to the maximum… you get this kind of business (Poop diddy whoop scoop, poop!)”

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Luke: “You know how that makes me feel? Terrible… thanks for asking”

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Luke and Andrew: “He’s Andrew Walsh and he joins us now from the Wallingford neighborhood… Seattle, Washington. Hello, my friend. Good stuff, Luke… How ya doing? Hooo! I’m, I mean, I thought I was fine”

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Luke and Andrew: “I got fired from that time slot. You didn’t get fired… you left… for mysterious reasons… For mysterious reasons? I had another job!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I told Carey my bag of money story. She was not pleased. Oh, that surprises me! Hmm… Seems like something a wife would love to hear. Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re talking about this and not talking about this”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, man! I just threw a glow stick… (I know you did) right when that beat dropped… Sick, man”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ooh, explicit. Ooh”

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Luke and Andrew: “The Kung Pao chicken was made by a woman! I am sexist”

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Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, take that Mike! Yeah! TBTL, one. Pesca, zero. Yeah. Pesca, zero! That sums it up”

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Nick Armes: “Thanks for listening today, everybody. We’ll be back tomorrow with more imaginary radio; but, until then: We’re surrounded by clocks; and, good luck to all!”

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???: Purring or growling sound while Andrew was speaking

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Andrew: Clearing his throat

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Andrew: Clearing his throat #2

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Andrew: Clearing his throat #3

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Luke: Clearing his throat

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Luke: Clearing his throat #2

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Luke: Clearing his throat #3

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Luke: Clearing his throat #4

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Luke: Singing “Allow me to clear my throat” and the saxophone riff from “Let Me Clear My Throat” and “The 900 Number”

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Luke and Andrew: Clearing their throats

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Luke and Andrew: Clearing their throats #2

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Luke: “But, now it’s back, baby!”

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Luke: “Cuz, those are a horse of a different feather”

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Luke: “Do you know how many Dazzling Donors I can fit on the head of a pin?”

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Luke: “I often say, ‘That’s a good way to tell your toilet you’re mad at it'”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to be a, a, a ‘No, but’ person”

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Luke: “I’ve got some kind of issues. I’ve talked about it on… this show before… where… if I have anything creamy… I’ve, I have a constant need to clear my throat”

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Luke: “Mod Pizza? That’s for fools. Everybody wants stools”

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Luke: “Mwah! Mwah!”

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Luke: “No; but, Andrew!”

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Luke: “Our Dazzling Donor today… Erin Leininger… Currently of Manila… the Philippines… Previously… of Shanghai… the China… And, originally… Encinitas… the California”

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Luke: “So, if you wanna touch it, I guess that’s… kind of on you”

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Luke: “That means, I am totally unsupervised here in the Broadcast Center. I don’t have any Pod-dog supervision; so… things… could get hot! Things could get spicy”

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Luke: “There is no way that that stuff is gonna do okay in your tum-tum! (Poop diddy whoop scoop, poop!)”

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Luke: “They’re like a perfect, little throat cork”

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Luke: “We’re we’ve been known to… you know, poopity-whoop-scoop… on the odd occasion”

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Luke: “What!!?!”

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Luke: “Wow! I’m gonna… make this gross”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way… do you realize what you did there… That I blocked out (in cropping it) the Hader? You literally blocked out the Hader. Yeah. No, it’s all coming up… it’s all coming up TBTL today (Pretty good spoof)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dirty Dick’s Crab House; and, by the way… also, don’t Google that. No”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s a good… a, a good one with this Indianapolis thing; and, maybe, you can just think about this overnight, Andrew. Maybe, you can think about what you’ve done… (Oh) or what you would do… (Well, that turned…) Cuz, I know what I would do”

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Luke and Andrew: “You always regret the hot dogs you happen… You didn’t happen? I actually like that”

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Andrew: “Amen”

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Andrew: “And… everybody really freaked their shit out about it”

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Andrew: “First of all, I was… shocked and delighted, and… other adjectives, to see a familiar name on our… sTens page on Facebook; where, all the listeners get together and… talk about how they like me more than you”

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Andrew: “Frank ‘N Beans!”

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Andrew: “Hmm… Hmm… Explicit”

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Andrew: “I don’t care about the world anymore”

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Andrew: “I would love to hear listener’s hot dog stories”

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Andrew: “I would only sharpshoot one detail of this story; and, it’s probably cuz Andrew was reading it quickly and misread it… I love how Ryan is so concerned with my feelings. I love this. Is everybody taking notes? This is how you… this is how you sharpshoot me”

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Andrew: “I’d [sic] screwed everything up. We’ll clean it all up in post”

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Andrew: “I’m not your… typical public radio producer. I’m gonna use the real ‘DJ Kool’ song”

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Andrew: “Just… to the bone!”

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Andrew: “Late 80s!? I was, like, playing Risk with my stuffed animals, man!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh, shoot”

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Andrew: “Okay”

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Andrew: “Sorry, that came out funny”

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Andrew: “That stuff never works. I think still you guys are all pranking me”

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Andrew: “This feels so good!”

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Andrew: “Usually, when I tell a story, I go back as far in history as I possibly can… to give you… all of the details that you don’t want or need… and, then, eventually, get to my point; which… is usually a… revelation that I never had a point to begin with”

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Andrew: “Well, here’s the deal”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “You might ask yourself, Luke: How do we find ourselves here?”

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Andrew: “You’re welcome, listeners”

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Andrew and Luke: “Apparently, he’s been listening to TBTL for a while now… I had a… Wow! I, I know what your next reaction was… it was flattery… followed by terror, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. What I’ve done is I’ve… asked Linh Pham… to let me know every single mention of my friend Ryan in the show and all of the times that I’ve bashed him… just… to the bone! And, I’ve gone and I’ve edited those out”

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Andrew and Luke: “Diggity Dog… Diggity Dog. Sorry, that came out funny (Mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you think there is any possibility that I would have been carrying around two hot dogs in my pants all night, and not have to worry about it? Normally… normally, I wouldn’t… have thought that was possible”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh my, God! (God, that’s beautiful) I am on fire!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends; but, you can’t pick your Buttery Jack family. (Exactly!) That’s what I always say”

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