Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “Are you being serious?”

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Andrew: “But, I didn’t even remember what you’re beef was”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “God, I can smell your dreadlocks from here”

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Andrew: “Hello-sef, brosef”

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Andrew: “I do love free scattin'”

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Andrew: “I know! God, no, I… God, I…! I know.”

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Andrew: “I love mystery tape, right?”

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Andrew: “I’m almost wondering if… you’re laying it out a little thick, though”

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Andrew: “I’m so sorry, Conor”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry I yelled. I just, I mean… I don’t know if any of these things work”

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Andrew: “If I only smell bleach for the next twelve hours, no matter where I am… it means I did a good, damn job on the bathroom. Also… I’m probably not long for this world.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Look at you, Columbo”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s just digital trickery”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah. I’m wearing this laser baldness helmet. Yeah, but this other stuff… is medicine… And, I don’t think that could work”

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Andrew: “Oh! There you go. All of my negative energy turned back towards you! Mission accomplished!”

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Andrew: Tripping over his own tongue

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Andrew: Tripping over his own tongue (Chopped and Screwed)

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Andrew: “Well, whatever. I didn’t even see it.”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I think so”

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Andrew: “You have… a laser helmet!”

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Andrew and Luke: Hating on Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln (not Cadillac) ads

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Andrew and Luke: “Here, you want a power out? Yeah. I got a power out. (Power out!) Nice.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is there an actual chorus, or is this just one of those noodlers? No, that’s the problem. It’s just a noodler. Yeah, it’s just a noodler.”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, Bryan… you are being the change you want to see… in the podcast world. Is it a promo that we recorded?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, if it hurts my face, it means the bathroom is clean. Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You have… a laser helmet! That you put on your head; because, you thought it was going to cure baldness. Yeah, but that makes more sense on paper to me. Are you being serious?”

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Andrew: “Aaaghh, I leave a… I leave a trail of podcast co-hosts behind me everywhere I go”

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Andrew: “Good… See? It’s fun… it’s like a mystery, this show. It’s a puzzle. Ya listening, TweetBahara? [sic]“

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Andrew: “I am an aspiring, freelance bass–standup bassist”

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Andrew: “I mean, that barking kinda gets to me a little bit… and, I don’t even bark!”

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Andrew: “I, listen, I’m a huge fan… but, I won’t do that. And, it wasn’t a Meatloaf joke”

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Andrew: “I’ll probably die never really having a good grasp on that”

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Andrew: “Not to make a thing about everything”

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Andrew: “People go either, ‘woot, woot, woot,’ you know, or ‘woof, woof, woof,’ or whatever the hell they’re doing”

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Andrew: “Problem is, I’m not retracting my love of it”

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Andrew: Recording Professor Bananas snoring

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Andrew: Recording Professor Bananas snoring #2

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Andrew: Scatting along with the Bossa Nova hold music

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Andrew: Singing “Yo, yo, yo”

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Andrew: “Somebody dressed up like a big, foam McConaughey… McConaugh-hi? McConaugh-huh?”

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Andrew: “Tell ’em The Bone sent ya!”

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Andrew: “That’s mine!!! You can’t use that.”

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Andrew: “We’re, we’re gonna get back to the funny real soon here”

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Andrew: “You know it, baby!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Tell ’em the most fragile men in podcasting sent ya. Wow, you sound like Owen Meany”

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Andrew and Luke: “What did he do? He got… the world’s greatest hair transplant…! No, I mean, why does he have a mugshot?”

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Luke: “Alright, everybody. This is special… This is special.”

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Luke: “China… I’ll never say that word normal again”

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Luke: “Dolla, dolla bill, y’all. Thanks for the dolla, dolla bill, y’all, Dan!”

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Luke: “If we lose the rumpus room at this place… my good friend Andrew Walsh will never visit again”

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Luke: Saying “China” in a Trump-like manner

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Luke: “St. Louis, France? What!? Oui, oui!”

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Luke: “Tell ’em the most fragile men in podcasting sent ya!”

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Luke: “There has never been an Attorney’s General [sic] like Eric Holder”

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Luke: “This is how I’m a crazy person”

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Luke: “This some real Linkin Bizkit right here”

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Luke: “Yeah… TweetBahara… [ph] we have donors of the day!”

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Luke: “You know it, baby!”

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Luke: “You know it, baby!” #2

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew thought Luke was making a joke about Andrew being the longest running co-host of TBTL

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Luke and Andrew: “Don’t do it, Luke! Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Stop… don’t do it… Don’t do it… I’m just gonna quickly do this. Ha!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s a very clever… PR coup… by the CIA, right? Ooh, another coup by the CIA. Great. Jesus. Really walked into that one, didn’t I?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know it, baby! That’s mine!!! You can’t use that.”

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Luke: “Cuz, we classy”

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Luke: “Fudge!”

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Luke: “I like to… keep you guessing”

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Luke: “I love the phone ringing”

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Luke: “I’m a little booged”

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Luke: “I’m still butt-sore”

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Luke: “Not too much bun. That always turns me off”

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Luke: Singing “Got a fever of a hundred and three!”

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Luke: Singing “I wanna break free!”

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Luke: “Well, how does that even… effect you!?”

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Luke: “Well, it’s official, Andrew… we’re redoing all the windows”

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Luke: “Well, your best… sucks, Paula!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you wanna try to unpack the Final Jeopardy! question? I’ll take a deep-dive on it”

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Luke and Andrew: “I dunno why I’m… this is, I just deciding to bring this up at this moment… Oh, no. Is this about race again?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not Russia. Okay, I’m gonna say it’s Saudi Arabia. I’m gonna give you some more hints. I just was trying to get out of this. I’m squirming so bad over here. The more countries I say, the worst… I’m gonna look.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke comparing going from Austin Rogers to a new Jeopardy! contestant being like going from President Obama to Trump

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Luke and Andrew: “Never get involved in a land quiz in Asia. Oh, that’s right up your alley!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Remember what it was like when we had a president… (Somebody that… you requested) I mean… what must it be like to live in a country where you have a fucking human being running things? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The category is… Janeane Garofalo Movie Posters. Whoo-hoo!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You can’t even talk about The Bone. They’re trying to take The Bone out of Trucktober. The Bone is the reason for the season!”

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Andrew: “Because, you know, it’s bad”

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Andrew: “But, trust me. It’s fine.”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “Did you see my snarky tweet the other day? Hey, which one?”

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Andrew: “Don’t do this to me!”

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Andrew: “Don’t get between me and my peanuts”

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Andrew: “Don’t… e-mail me the tattoo. That’s gross”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “I dunno where I’m going with that. You lost. I’m gone.”

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Andrew: “I just like it when you say, ‘sweet treats'”

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Andrew: “I’m squirming so bad over here”

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Andrew: “It’s Pell and Poundstone Pools”

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Andrew: Making funny sounds

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Andrew: “Now, Zane I can get into”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. Never occurred to me that you would be the one to rat me out”

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Andrew: “Potent Donovan Lyrics”

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Andrew: “So, I don’t wanna… repeat myself. That’s one thing after five… or so years of doing this show… I’ve never repeated myself; and, I wanna keep that record”

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Andrew: “So, that’s a victory. That’s good.”

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Andrew: “Son of a gun! I gotta eat dessert!”

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Andrew: “Talking about patting myself on the back”

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Andrew: “The Bone… is the patron saint of Trucktober, obviously.”

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Andrew: “Whoo-hoo!!!”

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Andrew: “Ya snarkster. Ya snarky tweeter.”

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Andrew: “Yeah… been there”

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Andrew: “You know how, sometimes, I just get fidgety… and I start doing weird things”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, I wanna unpack your feelings a little bit. Sorry… I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, (Please) I don’t wanna say unpack. Unpack is overused”

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Andrew and Luke: Getting off-track, deep-diving and unpacking

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Andrew and Luke: It “booged” Luke that Andrew claimed U2’s Bono for America

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Andrew: “And, Pert… is… is on… Pert… tament… t… disability. I dunno even know why I am trying! Why am I trying these horrible jokes!?”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Really?”

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Andrew: “Et cetera. Et cetera”

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Andrew: “Father Chromy has taken the Truck Nutz”

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Andrew: “First of all, I am, just now, re-watching ‘Llamas on the Loose’; and, this is delightful”

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Andrew: “I’m not doing meth!!”

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Andrew: “It just occurred to me that, if anybody pull-quotes that… it’s not great. So, maybe I will cut it all out. I don’t need to see that on… any third-party websites.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Saying “Always do!” in an annoying manner

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Andrew: Saying “And, I kind of am letting it get to me” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “So, I’m hoping as much as you are that this pays off”

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Andrew: “Thank you. And, Happy Dumptober to you”

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Andrew: “The darkness is descending”

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Andrew: “Truck ex… ex machina?”

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Andrew: “We doodily-doodily-doodily-do!”

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Andrew: “Well, you know what they say… Trarch showers bring Trapril… flowers. Hey, I tried! Alright? I tried!”

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Andrew: “Yet, here I am… and, I wanna punch a brown person in his face” ^*

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you know how his family got that name… Nawrocki? I don’t. I actually know this, I was looking it up. Apparently, somebody said to him, ‘Are you a Rambo guy?’ And, he said, ‘Nah, Rocky’. Why don’t I have kids?”

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Andrew and Luke: Having a little trouble saying “asterisk”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m sure that there are not organisms living in that goddamn (No) headband”

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Andrew and Luke: “Lassoo it!? (Lassoo it)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where didja get that!? I… I did a little Trucktober deep-dive last night. Nice!”

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Luke: “Alexa! Stop!”

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Luke: “Because, you know, a lot of people are racists and they just be inside their house; but, I’m not one of those guys!”

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Luke: “He rock a house”

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Luke: “I celebrate it… all the different ways”

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Luke: “I could really take this to a very weird place”

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Luke: “I’m surprised that me standing… at the kind of… the… the business end… you know, the southbound end of a northbound TSA conveyor belt”

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Luke: “My attempts at wokeness takes some very strange turns in my life. You know?”

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Luke: “The guys is, looks like he’s been rode hard and put away wet”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alexa! Stop. People are gonna kill ya. You just stopped the podcast for a lot of people. Well, maybe they were tired listening to it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you catch that? Yes!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re just a racist! (I know)”

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*: Andrew is not a racist and does not want to punch brown people in their face. It was said in a very non-serious manner. Peace and love.

Clips from the No Point Conversion portion of the show will be posted at a later date.

Andrew: “Don’t, don’t bald-shame me”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Me too”

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Andrew: “Duffly!”

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Andrew: “Happy Dumptober to you”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke… how are you? How are you?”

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Andrew: “I had a kind of a similar… no, I had like the polar opposite. Wait, similar or polar opposite? Choose one.”

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Andrew: “I have a lot of thoughts!”

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Andrew: “I have no room for that in my life”

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Andrew: “I was feeling like a real grumpy… Gus”

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Andrew: “I’m a little befuddled”

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Andrew: “Is this part of the War on Trucktober?”

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Andrew: “It’s goddamn bumper cars out there!”

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Andrew: “Just shut up!”

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Andrew: “Shirt off. New shirt on. Socks off. New socks on.”

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Andrew: Singing “Who else is gonna give you… broken arrow”

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Andrew: “So… cold!”

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Andrew: “They make… tools exactly for this!”

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Andrew: “Who else is gonna give you… broken arrow. Why you making me sing? Walsh… what do we talk about: No singing.”

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Andrew and Luke: Meandery: Possible podcast network name?

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you like it better or worse if it was called, ‘Filthy John’? Ooh, worse”

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Luke: “Alright, what do we got, buddy?”

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Luke: “But, I usually listen to the radio or something else; and, we now have a Bluetooth dongle thanks, shout out to Linh Pham”

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Luke: “Hempy, happy, hampy… Dubtover… I think is the… the customary greeting”

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Luke: “I’m doing all of this… mid-change; and so, I think my mind got a little scrambled. I started to focus more on Husky football than on… you know, the fact that I was borderline nude in a public parking lot”

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Luke: “I’m the guy with a… miniature can of Diet Coke around here”

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Luke: “It’s apropos of absolutely nothing”

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Luke: “That’s not true. Is it true?”

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Luke: “The Bay City”

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Luke: “You reverse your bald spot?”

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Luke and Andrew: “A car with, like, four ladies in their twenties pulled up. Oh, really? They got a good… good glance at the Lukles? No, thank god!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s not true. Is it true? I can’t, I can’t… answer this”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s… I think… worth noting is, I celebrate Dumptover… twelve months out of the year. Wait, Dumptover!?”

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