Clips From TBTL #2238

Andrew: “As you know, I’m a big morning person, that’s why we did the show at the crack of, just like, the crack of dawn yesterday at, like, 10 AM; or, some crazy thing like that.”

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Andrew: “Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “I don’t have words to describe it”

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Andrew: “I get bent out of shape sometimes when people are kind of like, ‘I threw my phone across the room when Andrew got a fact wrong.’ Oh my God, I need a thicker skin”

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Andrew: “I’m not kidding”

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Andrew: “It was amazing!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Of the dumb shit I say on this show, I’m oddly embarrassed about that one; cuz, all these people, there’s an ongoing thread on Facebook… ‘Has anyone told Andrew, yet, that the election was in 2000 and not 2001?'”

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Andrew: “Oh, no.”

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Andrew: “Sorry if I’m a little slappy”

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Andrew: “Umm… Yeah. Uhhh, I’m…. I’m, I’m gonna say one quick thing”

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Andrew: “Wait… What the hell is this?”

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Andrew: “Well, you promised me! So, that was my imitation of me, by the way; which, is accurate.”

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Andrew: “What the fuck did I just watch?”

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Andrew: “What’s wrong with Andrew”

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Andrew: “When you said that guy, everybody was hoping you meant Chris Hayes”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow.”

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Andrew: “Wow. Wow. That’s, this is… God, I’m glad I don’t work in TV. I’m not kidding.”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you there? There, I’ve been there. I done been there. You’ve always been there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “What ocean is that in? Andrew… I swear to God, it is too late, here in Puerto Rico, for me to be answering ocean-related questions.”

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Luke: “And, tell you… about Andrew, Chris Hayes and the Stu-bot’s trip into viral… Twitter-dom today”

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Luke: “Euugh, what’s going on with them?”

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Luke: “How about, what’s wrong with Luke?”

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Luke: “I know that’s a lot of Ps, dude. I know that’s a lot of Ps, pal.”

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Luke: “I use the name Ked, because it matters.”

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Luke: “I wish I could’ve given you a better episode. I can’t…”

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Luke: “I’ve piña colada’d it away”

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Luke: “Silver lining alert: You’re not losing your mind”

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Luke: “Snitches get stitches”

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Luke: “Well, I ain’t no Holloware girl”

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Luke: “Well, that’s eleven minutes that you’ll never get back as a listener”

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Luke and Andrew: “At this point, my hair is more spun sugar than it is hair. Paint your bald spot? I, I don’t wear a wig. Paint your bald spot? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay, (I don’t wear a wig) let’s not go there. Let’s not, let’s not take something that was funny and just ruin it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But a couple of weeks ago, Pappo went radio silent. Is Pappo related to Bear?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t think Pappo is gonna be at the coconut factory! Who are you interviewing? We don’t even know! Son of Pappo. Son of Pappo. Son of a Pappo, neither me or the producer speak passable Spanish, Andrew. Oh, no.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re hearing this on Wednesday, you are a time traveler. (Mmm-hmm) And, we all worship you as a god living on this planet; because, you shouldn’t be hearing this show on Wednesday.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s good news for Hayes. Yes. Bad news for Walshski.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts… Say it! (We really appreciate it) Say it! You heard, (You wanna say it) you heard me considering it. Say it! Thank you from the Steve Bartman from our hearts.”

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Luke and Andrew: “We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. By that time, in the space-time continuum of this program, I will have been to Cuba with Dave Ross over six times. You didn’t tell me about this! Well, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t over promise on Cuba, as it relates to you.”

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Clips From TBTL #2237: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “…And me”

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Luke: “But, wouldn’t it be extra the worst?”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “God, I love our cameraman”

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Luke: “I’m sure we’ll get every single part of it exactly right”

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Luke: “It’s the guy from the thing!”

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Luke: Making a sound of a light going out

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Luke: Making mouth sounds

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Luke: “New York City!?”

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Luke: “Now I get it, Andrew. I’m woke!”

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Luke: October 22nd is now a Live Wire national holiday

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Luke: “Perfect time to thank our Bembe Bakra level donors of the day”

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Luke: Saying “He has his cake… and he eats it too” as the Most Interesting Man in the World

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Luke: Saying “Stay thirsty, my friends” as the Most Interesting Man in the World

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Luke: Snickering

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Luke: Telling what happened when tried to do an interview while in a pool with a swim-up bar

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Luke: “Uh, yeah. Mos Def. Excuse me, Yasiin Bey.”

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Luke: “Well… it’s fine. It’s all fine.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How many shots do you think we used from the helicopter that was definitely not retained by the people I worked for. Umm, I’m gonna say… less than zero, more than negative one? Yes, negative one-half. You called it correctly. Zed. Oh, man.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke explains that a Live Wire taping may not have been completely recorded and Andrew asks if they used more than one recording device

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, I have a shirt on. Do you really? Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Seattle, Walshington or The Other Walshington

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Luke and Andrew: “The files… have been found. How!??”

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Luke and Andrew: “Victoria is, it’s a, I believe (That would make sense, yeah) it’s, it’s a, I think it’s a thing in Australia”

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Clips From TBTL #2237: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “And, I’ll say ninety-seven per–I mean, they are making zillions of Flo commercials; and, I, I adore ninety-five percent of them and love two percent of them.”

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Andrew: “And, this is where I’m BS-ing here a little bit”

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Andrew: “Get a picture of me with it anyway. What the hell is that thing!?”

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Andrew: “God, I can’t, I can’t win. I’m just gonna shut up. Tell me what’s going on.”

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Andrew: “Guys, we’re, uhhhhh, outta tape”

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Andrew: “I don’t even watch TV. I don’t, I don’t have a television. Notice I don’t call it TV, cuz TV’s a nickname.”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna look for it after the show, like a responsible microcras–microcaster…”

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Andrew: “I’m killing it today. Can we get out of this show before I say anything else I regret?”

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Andrew: “I’m not worldly, Luke.”

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Andrew: “I’m not worldly, Luke. I get it. I just like my, I just like my, my Donovan and hot dogs.”

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Andrew: “Knowing or using several languages. I love it!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “No offense, millennials”

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Andrew: “Obviously, the whole point of this is that he’s being a douche nozzle”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. Like, my eyes rolled so far up into my head”

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Andrew: “Oh, awful”

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Andrew: “Somehow, I just think the whole thing is bullshit”

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Andrew: “Sss–I don’t know if ironic is the word, or if apt is the word; but, it’s something that your CBS shoot is now being ruined by low flying aircraft.”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, now you’re more frustrated that I can’t remember the details of the story. No, not at all. I am, I’m used to it, man…”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think the first one on the list is, is way more, it has way more… Would you so it’s the most interesting story in the world? I would say it’s the most interesting story on the show sheet.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m not trying to sub-podcast your, your producers over there… But, you’re trying to be a, a responsible microcaster.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is it kind of like a joke, are kind of like in a, like, are you well-dressed, like in, you’re kind of like standing there in the water? That’s funny. No, it’s not that; and, so, it’s not funny. God, I can’t, I can’t win. I’m just gonna shut up. Tell me what’s going on.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke, why do I ever doubt you? Actually, (I have some) there’s a lot of… I, I, I can think of a lot of reasons, my friend.”

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Andrew and Luke: Snorting and Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “The voice, Guy Nelson, says something about elections being the mother milk of democracy. It was a, (Whoa) it was a musical pun of some sort. No, no, no, I think he said, ‘voting is the blood sugar sex magic… of a republic'”

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Andrew and Luke: “We should get her to, like, put us on her podcast of the week list, or something like that. Oh, yeah. You’re getting a listener! You’re getting a listener! You’re getting a listener! Not so fast, After These Messages.”

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Crazy Town x Bart Simpson: Barterfly

Back on TBTL #2237, Luke and Andrew played a mashup of an instrumental version of Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” and an a cappella version of “Do The Bartman” that was sent in by, then, an anonymous listener. The guys ended up dubbing the mashup “Barterfly”. Since I could not get a clean pull of the song from the show, I was able to locate both tracks and re-create the mashup to the best of my ability.

Barterfly

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Since then, the creator of the mashup, Joe-Joe, took off the Cloak of Anonymity, and posted a link to the full mashup on Soundcloud onto the sTens Facebook group. Unfortunately, the clip is no longer available on SoundCloud, but I received a copy of it that can be posted:

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Clips From TBTL #2236

Andrew: “And, that’s how Luke became a Jethro Tull fan”

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Andrew: Andrew sounding like Donald Trump

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Andrew: “Bad news bears”

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Andrew: “For some reason, they think that CBS news is more important than TBTL”

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Andrew: “I mean, I was listening to your intro, it was good. You still don’t know what ocean you’re in.”

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Andrew: “I sounded like fucking Donald Trump”

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Andrew: “It’s the crack of 10 AM!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh damn, though, you’re an iPhone guy.”

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Andrew: “Other people are doing a podcast right now about stock options. We’re doing a show about sock options.”

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Andrew: “Part of the public radio puberty”

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Andrew: “Remember my great Edmonds adventure?”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Super loosey-goosey”

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Andrew: “That’ll be the name of the show, ‘Insert Your Planet Money Joke Here'”

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Andrew: “There you go. I call these Donovan deets.”

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Andrew: “Things have gotten hard on the Argyle sock front, Luke”

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Andrew: “We’re off to a pretty hot start today!”

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Andrew: “Whad’ya need, bro!!?”

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Andrew: “You can tell I’m sharp today”

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Andrew: “You know me, I’m super anal the way I, kind of, organize things”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew likes to hide behind his lame humor when faced with serious things

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you wearing your pith hat? Professor Stanley, I presume?”

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Luke: “A little part of me dies when I realize like, this morning, that the only thing I can pull on are novelty socks.”

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Luke: “And, I made a note to myself. I said, ‘Self, you’ve got twenty-four hours before you do this again. Take five goddamn seconds and Google this!’ And, would you believe, I didn’t remember to do it until this very moment, when we’re all hanging out on the imaginary radio together.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “I’d like to thank our Bembe Bakra level donors today”

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Luke: “I’m a terrible human.”

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Luke: “I’m a terrible human. I think I just straight-up stole the Wilco A.M. CD from the radio station.”

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Luke: “I’m stifling the urge to call it Old ‘San Juan’, because I don’t want to be that guy.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “The stages of listening to TBTL: bargaining, denial, and then, finally, sweet, sweet acceptance”

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Luke: “There’s a guy on flute. I’ve never heard someone jam so hard on the flute.”

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Luke: “Where’re all the farm girls?”

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Luke and Andrew: Crystal meth and false teeth are the official 15th and 16th anniversary gifts

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s like underwear or socks. Yes!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke bought a dancing Mickey Mouse toy when he was 28 years old

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Luke and Andrew: Nana Jug

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Luke and Andrew: “No, the, um… Oh, dang it. People are throwing phones at things all over America, right now. Are they charged; and, how do they charge them?”

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Clips From TBTL #2235: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Coming to you today from the Hilton Caribe in San Juan, Puerto Rico, looking out on the beautiful… Is it the Atlantic Ocean? I didn’t do a ton of research before I came down here, people.”

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Luke: “Everybody on this island pretty much has to speak some amount of English; because, that’s the fucking way of the world. And, I can just go to the Starbucks and order a, you know, coffee like I normally have it, and everything’s fine in my world.”

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Luke: “Hola. ¿Qué tal?”

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Luke: “¡Hola, Daddy Yankee! Tu Inglés es major de mi Español.”

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Luke: “I guess I figured that m–because, I’m an idiot.”

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Luke: “I should just speak English and own it”

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Luke: “I, somehow, chose the third rail of podcasting”

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Luke: “I’m Andre Agassi-balding”

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Luke: “I’m sure I can go get some special cards made up that, that just say, ‘Hola,’ and then, in English, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s all the Spanish that I speak'”

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Luke: “I’m trying from the Bartman of my heart to make this Trump segment work, Andrew.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, by the way. I’m allegedly your host.”

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Luke: “No, no wig-shaming here”

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Luke: Singing “Boricua, moreno, boricua, moreno”

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Luke: Singing “Morena, boricua, morena, boricua”

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Luke: “This is fine. This is–everything’s okay. This is fine.”

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Luke: “Tu Inglés es major de mi Español”

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Luke: “Where do you guys, where do you keep the Starbucks around here?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hair on, glasses off. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I do have some complicated feelings about certain elements of being down here. Is, is it the lack of white people, Luke? Because, that’s straight up racist.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just to wrap this whole dumb thing up; I think what it is, is I have this low-level underlying feeling of guilt that someone else had to learn English. Hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is describing someone that is like Andrew

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Luke and Andrew: Painting Bald Spot and Boiling Toupée

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Luke and Andrew: “This hotel that I’m in, it’s sort of shabby-sheik, hold the sheik. Mmm-kay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You just keep digging. Wait, hold on, keep digging. I’m gonna get to China soon; where, I’m gonna greet everybody by saying ‘Hola’ and then having to slowly reveal that I don’t speak Cantonese.”

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