Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “But, uh, it’s just… So, I’m saying ghost.”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “God help them!”

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Andrew: “God! God! If you’re listening, give me a sign!”

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Andrew: “He has the best syntax. It is, it is just… I mean, a lot of people are saying he’s got one of the best syntaxes around.”

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Andrew: “I don’t blame their policies. I blame the animals that are walking through airports, buying gum and then spitting it wherever they want.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what’s going on”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna tell an ‘Oh, Andrew’ story right now.”

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Andrew: “If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome to the show.”

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Andrew: “It’s like word puttering. Sort of.”

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Andrew: “Let’s not beat around the bush, you wanna press your butt up against the window. You wanna moon me from across the city, is what’s going on here.”

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Andrew: “N-No”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ”

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Andrew: “Opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose… and then the noun.”

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Andrew: “Probably is gonna be our President. Oh, Christ. Sorry.”

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Andrew: Saying “WikiHow” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Ugh, but that guy is such a doucher”

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Andrew: “Umm, is there any ink on my face?”

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Andrew: “We do day rates and we do night rates”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “What!?! People are assholes. Seriously! Who are you?”

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Andrew: “You paint better word pictures than me”

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Andrew: “You’re insane”

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Andrew and Luke: “If anyone’s peeping on me, who is that person? I want to interview them! What’s going on upstairs? And downstairs. What fetish (Right) is this satisfying?”

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Luke: “Along with trying to see… boobs, gum ruled everything around me, when I was a kid.”

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Luke: “Andrew, I can’t figure out why I wasn’t a chick magnet: I was 120 pounds and covered in acne!”

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Luke: “Because, I want to see my woif, and I want to see the aminals [sic]“

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Luke: “But, my good friend, Andrew Walsh, is still trying to deal with his own personal Exxon Valdez.”

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Luke: “Drink it in, Phoenix. If you want to see all 187 pounds of Luke Burbank in his Hanes, in his Hanes briefs; by all means, go for it.”

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Luke: “Hubba Bubba”

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Luke: “I gotta get a girl”

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Luke: “Oh hi, Denny!”

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Luke: Saying “Power out” in an Australian accent

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Luke: Saying “We don’t win anymore. We don’t win anymore. We’re gonna win again. We’re gonna win again.” as Donald Trump

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Luke: “Somebody got a show”

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Luke and Andrew: “But as we say on this program, looking’s free, touching will cost ya. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can do these workouts in my tighty whities (Oh, Christ)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just touched a part of Andrew’s body in bed that (Ba-ahdy) he didn’t authorize me to.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ira Glass is talking right now at the PRPD. We’re missing it, Andrew! Are you bummed? (I know)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, Andrew. Oh, Andrew… there it is!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, hi, Luke. (Mmm-hmm) Oh, hi, Denny!”

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Luke and Andrew: The look of disappointment on Andrew’s face

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, let me horrify the audience (Oh, God… and me?!? Man…) And your colleague. Just so you know, he raised his hand… to make sure I knew who he was talking about.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What are we doing here, people? (What are we…) What are we doing? What are we doing?”

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Luke and Andrew: Whispering “What?!? Wow.”

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Andrew: “And swell music”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Wow”

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Andrew: “I kind of love it!”

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Andrew: “It was Operation: Cluck-Cluck”

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Andrew: “It’s got a big ink stain on the shoulder, like I got shot during the Smurf Wars, or something like that.”

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Andrew: “It’s Tesla-town now”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “The cradle of Luke-ocracy”

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Andrew: “Two mics, one cord?”

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Andrew and Luke: “If I secretly try to think of Sequim… (Stop it) we start getting the buzz.”

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s the Bono of the silver screen. Ah… That makes me not like her.”

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Luke: “And by hotel, I do mean motel. And by motel, I mean… front for some kind of crime syndicate.”

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Luke: “Clowns to your left, jokers on the right… one of those.”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Dang it, Lisa!”

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Luke: “Dang it! Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”

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Luke: “Does anyone know who they are?”

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Luke: “I don’t know. Celebrity gossip just seems beneath even this show.”

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Luke: “I’m trying to think of, like, an Operation: Cluck-Cluck joke”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh my God!”

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Luke: “Oh, this shit’s gonna be real and working in, like, five years”

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Luke: “What, grandpa Luke? You used to drive cars?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you think anyone knows what we’re talking about on this show ever, Andrew? I don’t, I don’t know.”

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Luke and Andrew: Feedback ghost in the machine

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Luke and Andrew: Grandpa Luke and Grandma Angelina

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Luke and Andrew: “He has Resting Bono Face (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh my God. Are you kidding me, dude? Hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Operation: It’s a Dry Heat. There we go. We got there.”

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Luke: “And, I was trying so hard to do a ‘Talk of the Town'”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “Cuz, I’m loving this Sheraton I’m in right now!”

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Luke: “Doubling your pleasure and, also, doubling your pain.”

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Luke: “Good thinking, Burbank!”

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Luke: “I’m a man!”

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Luke: “Legend of Snotty Wong”

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Luke: Luke banged his head on his microphone

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host!”

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Luke: “Oh, man”

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Luke: “Rooting for the Browns and the Seahawks is like playing two hands of Blackjack at the same time. You can win more money; but, you can also lose so much dignity, and so much happiness.”

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Luke: Singing “Day rate… cheaper than the night rate”

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Luke: Singing “I want to taunt you like Terrelle Pryor!”

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Luke: “Started out today in the City of Brotherly Love. Zipped over here to Hot Town USA. Average temperature, 100 degrees.”

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Luke: “We’d like to thank our Nissan level sponsors”

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Luke: “Well, that’s weird too”

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Luke and Andrew: “Power out! Power out!”

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Luke and Andrew: Role playing

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Luke and Andrew: “The Deuce. The Double Deuce!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’d like to thank our (Oops) Alanis… What do you want? (Natalie Merchant) Call it. Well… What do you… What do you, what you like? What do you want?”

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Luke and Andrew: “WWBMD! Right. What would Bill Murray do?”

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Andrew: “Boy, Genevieve has been on fire lately”

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Andrew: “Broke-ass, like, producers”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: Climbing up the public radio ladder

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Andrew: “Don’t mention the elephant in the room. Don’t mention the elephant in the room. Don’t mention the elephant in the room.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Atrociously”

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Andrew: Drawn out “The Browns”

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Andrew: “Dude, you gotta come down here. TBTL depends on it.”

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Andrew: “Earmuffs”

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Andrew: “Fireball”

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Andrew: “He’s just a… he’s a little turd out there.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank!”

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Andrew: “I always just look like an angry, fat man.”

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Andrew: “I don’t belong here!”

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Andrew: “I, I can’t tell to what degree you’re joking”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Next thing you know, you’re never sad again.”

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Andrew: “Oh!”

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Andrew: “Oops”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Yeah, it’s a conference”

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Andrew: “Shit”

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Andrew: Singing “I wanna sack you like an animal!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Stopped mid-thought

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Andrew: “That’s what I’m saying!”

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Andrew: “This is a TBTL field trip, that happens to be from the PRPD.”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh”

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Andrew: “Unclear”

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Andrew: “What are we doing peop–What are we doing here?”

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Andrew: “Why did I do this to such a sweet kid?”

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Andrew: “You don’t own Phoenix!!! I can be here when I want!”

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Andrew: “You’re gonna laugh your ass off at this”

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Andrew and Luke: “Congratulations… Uncle Luke! (Thank you)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Got my PRPD haircut today, Luke. Nice. All the kids are doing it.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke did or did not talk Andrew into crashing PRPD

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Andrew and Luke: “Oooh, can I send you a link? Yeah, please.”

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Andrew: “That girl is Boynkin [sic]… Never trust a big butt and a smile”

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Andrew: “Ahh!”

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Andrew: “Alright, let’s just pause. Everybody write that down? Everybody get that? Okay, good. That’s how you start a podcast.”

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Andrew: “I just threw my phone across the room!”

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Andrew: “I love this crazy bastard!”

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Andrew: “I was sweating that shit for weeks”

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Andrew: “Let me just use the example of the… let’s say the, the, you know, passion project that me and my girlfriend started. God, phrasing!”

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Andrew: “Next thing you know, you’re going into the studio so crippled by the voices of every goddamn person who is in every goddamn meeting lead up to this.”

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Andrew: “The more broken phones due to TBTL, the better we’re doing.”

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Andrew: “This guy… is crazy!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Maybe you want to do it to, to make money; in which case, give up all hope. Yeah… Don’t. Don’t.”

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Andrew and Luke: “My idea, by the way, is to build a wall and have (of sound) Radiolab pay for it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Thank you India. Thank you silence. I know it’s the wrong song. Now, that’s… No, to sing those lyrics over this tune, that’s next level.”

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Andrew and Luke: What is and isn’t a chip

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Luke: “‘A Donor With A View’ A new Alanis, Merchant Ivory song/movie soundtrack”

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Luke: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken. But… but, kinda true.”

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Luke: “By the way, Andrew’s my son.”

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Luke: “Don’t try to be all things to all people.”

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Luke: “Get whatever snarky thoughts you want to have about that, get them out of your system now.”

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Luke: “Go forth and podcast!”

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Luke: “He was Dead Poet Societing, Dead Podcast Societing the… Society-ing?”

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Luke: “I get my bandwidth at Guitar Center.”

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Luke: “If anyone has ever listened to TBTL, because, we are, many days, five pounds of shit in a fifteen pound sack.”

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Luke: “If I start P-popping the microphone, we got real trubs”

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Luke: “It’s probably some caveman shit, right?”

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Luke: “One of the things about our show is, for how kind of like, half-assed it sometimes sounds. It’s full-assed in the planning.”

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Luke: “Put that in your skeptical pipe and… vape it.”

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Luke: “These guys taught a class on podcasting? Yes we did.”

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Luke: “This is a very special episode of TBTL. I mean, they’re all special; but, this one is more special.”

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Luke: “Well, here we are at the, what is just about, the end of the broadcast week here on TBTL”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “You haven’t tried the right kind of cheese!”

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Luke: “You too, could have a podcast by the end of this session. And, if things go really well, years from now, your friends will un-Facebook friend you; because, you keep posting things on their page, asking them to listen to it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is this the clean version? Aw, shit… Andrew. (We’ll see)”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s important to remember that you’re standing on the earbuds of giants. Yes. Yes, you are.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Our cat almost died today doing a ‘Hang in There Kitty’. What?!?”

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Luke: “A man, a plan, a Batman, comma, mug”

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Luke: “And today, I’m calling him Professor Walsh”

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Luke: “Be a frigging grown up and get on the airplane and go to Portland.”

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Luke: “But, what was in the car… will shock you.”

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Luke: Chanting “Luuuuke!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Coffee is for adjunct professors”

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Luke: “Damn, man! The lure of the open road.”

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: “Everybody, stop opting me out of a possible free…!”

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Luke: “Hardcore pornography”

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Luke: “I have to just wear this raggedy-ass stuff I have on, and I can’t be seen by humans; so, I’ve been hiding out in the hotel room like Howard Hughes…”

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Luke: “I… want… to see this going down.”

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Luke: “I’m not on the list!”

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Luke: “It would be bananas”

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Luke: “It’s NBD”

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Luke: Making an announcement mouth trumpet sound

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Luke: “Milk face!”

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Luke: “Natalie Merchant level donors”

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Luke: “Oh my God, I’m looking at a picture above my bed! It’s actually Charles Lindbergh. By the way, Nazi sympathizer.”

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Luke: “Oh my God!”

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Luke: “Oh no”

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Luke: “On the other hand, if you do dazzle ’em with your deuts in there”

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Luke: Saying “Did I get on First Class, mister?” in a child’s voice

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Luke: Saying “What is that an option?” in a William Shatner manner

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Luke: Singing “You’ve been”

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Luke: Sniffing and saying “And” as Barney Fife

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Luke: “Songs in the key of don’t”

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Luke: “The clips are NSFW, but I think this conversation will mostly be SFW.”

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Luke: “The coffee was still hot!”

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Luke: “Welcome to a theater of the mind… and earballs.”

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Luke: “What do you mean you clean the toilet, buddy?”

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Luke: “What… the heck!?”

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Luke: “Why did my mind go there? Seven cups of coffee, Andrew. That’s why.”

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Luke: “You know, give a man a Batman mug and he’ll drink for a day; teach him how to make an Eminem reference and he’ll co-host a podcast.”

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Luke: “You were just like scooting about with a dang care in the world.”

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Luke: “You’re the best!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Added to that, I usually do it just in my underwear. Oh yeah, I’m not doing that.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, speaking of get-togethers that might get sweaty… The Philadelphia listeners (Nice) …that for a transition. That’s good. God, you need to get high on coffee more often, man. You’re on fire.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I guess it’s a lot harder to make a solid gold toilet than one would think. Really? Cuz, I would think it would be hard.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That was in the key of don’t. Okay, that’s a show title.”

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Luke and Andrew: The Daring Doo, the Dazzling Deut or the Daring Deut

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