Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “A man, a taco cat, a canal. I think that’s a palindrome.”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. Just sipping on out of my new Batman mug. N. B. D.”

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Andrew: “Hooo-shit”

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Andrew: “Hughes yourself”

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Andrew: “I, I am now a man, again, with a Batman mug”

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Andrew: “Just clean it out!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Mmm”

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Andrew: “Nobody’s here to yell at me”

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Andrew: “Oh no, what’s gonna go wrong?”

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Andrew: Saying “I’ve been lookin’ at ya through the bathroom windah” as Barney Fife

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Andrew: “Sounds like a typical bastard”

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Andrew: “The GIFs are in the Twitter!”

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Andrew: “They say, ice buckets are nature’s turned off microwave”

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Andrew: “Things are gonna start happening to me now”

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Andrew: “We love you all; but, we don’t love you as much as Natalie Merchant loves this horse.”

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Andrew: “When it comes to that kind of stuff, you’re a bit of a mystery to me still”

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Andrew: “You might say that this story has a lot of dazzling deuts”

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Andrew and Luke: “Body as (Yeah) a board! Body as a board.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I blast the shit out of it… maybe literally (Literally?)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Interchange the bodies of Stompers. The what? The ba-ahdy of Stompers”

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Andrew: “Beep, beep, beep”

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Andrew: “Come on over. I’ll make you breakfast.”

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Andrew: “Don’t miss your chance to blow, Luke.”

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Andrew: “From listener to stalker, to sidekick”

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Andrew: “Ha!”

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Andrew: “Huh… huh.”

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Andrew: “I thought you were gonna say 47 seconds left, and I can’t make it.”

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Andrew: “I wanna use goose drownder!”

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Andrew: “I would call it, ‘crotchy blues'”

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Andrew: “I’m happy to talk about anything”

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Andrew: “If I’m cutting sausage, which is something else I cut a lot”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Making shuddering sounds

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Andrew: “Nope!”

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Andrew: “Oh, the schat all over the place!”

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Andrew: “Pound ’em out”

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Andrew: “Really?!?”

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Andrew: Saying “No” and laughing

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Andrew: Singing “I got-a, crotchy blues”

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Andrew: Singing “Money!” from Pink Floyd’s “Money”

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Andrew: “This is the worst sound I’ve ever heard.”

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Andrew: “Today’s the day, Luke. Are you gonna call me Professor Walsh?”

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Andrew: “Too Beautiful To Suture”

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Andrew: “Two Frescas, two cheese sticks and one podcast”

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Andrew: “Uh-huh!”

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “What!!?” #2

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Andrew: “Why you doin’ that to Larry?”

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Andrew: “Yes, of course I do.”

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Andrew: “You’re not Donald Ducking it though, are ya?”

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Andrew and Luke: Ghost in the Podcart Machine

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Andrew and Luke: “You could have Kidz Bopped the lyrics on that a little bit… Yeah, you know.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Funny Sound

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Luke: “Grave Digger!”

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Luke: “I’m just fucking done”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh my God”

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Luke: “Oh my God, where is the frozen lemonade!!?”

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Luke: “Professor Blow Your Mind”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from George’s Thorogood’s “I Drink Alone”

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Luke: “That’s going in my… darkened basement area that’s primarily for males.”

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Luke: “This is a two Fresca day for me, Andrew.”

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Luke: “We have a special visitor to the show today. (Perro) Pod-dog is actually here; but, I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s probably because of the beef jerky that was I eating in here. That really… brought all the Rudys to the yard.”

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Luke: We need to clean up all the schat. Whoa, what the fuck happened? Uh, it’s just the pine needles… It’s normal. Once a year, this happens.”

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Luke: “What?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Forget The Police, that’s some synchronicity, (Yes) my friend.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’d eat a Skittle out of a toilet. Good to know.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke clapping and Andrew laughing

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing the Pomp and Circumstance song

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Luke and Andrew: “Ohhhh. Across it. Like lung brush. Lung Brush. What is, what is that?”

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Andrew: “#Awesome”

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Andrew: “#GoogleLife”

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Andrew: “Agh, God!”

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Andrew: “Agh, God! I love that shit so much!”

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Andrew: “But, hold on! When it comes to Urban Dictionary, you’re saying that my girlfriend is a taker not a maker?!?”

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Andrew: “By the way, this story ends in the most Seattle way possible. Spoiler alert.”

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Andrew: “‘Congratulations! You just got a bunch of steps.’ You’re just like, ‘No, I didn’t. We almost died.'”

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Andrew: Giggling

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Andrew: “Grinds our gears/frosts our balls/raises our hackles”

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Andrew: “Ha-ha!!!”

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Andrew: “Hey you, get your damn car outta there!”

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Andrew: “I can’t wait to move to Seattle!”

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Andrew: “I’m a real Wallingford resident!”

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Andrew: “I’m a, I’m an old, I’m an old man with a lot, a lot hate in my heart I guess.”

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Andrew: “It must be the noogie”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Look at the coffee cups on this guy”

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm”

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Andrew: “No. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

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Andrew: “Ohhhh!!!”

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Andrew: “Shut up, little man!”

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Andrew: Singing “This is the story of Hurricane”

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Andrew: “There’s a hole in your story.”

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Andrew: “This was my dad’s jam, man.”

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Andrew: “Where are we going on Wednesday?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ho-hooooo (Ohhhhh)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know if you’ve heard of this thing called the ‘World Wide Web’; (Ooh, yeah!) but, this about to blow up. You’re gonna find yourself in the middle of a Wallingford hurricane.”

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Andrew and Luke: “SVC! (Yeah) That’s right, you know me.”

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Luke: “#Good #Great #Happy #Like #Dislike #Sad #Bad #Awesome”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Classic arbitrage”

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Luke: “Congratulations! You didn’t crap your pants.”

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Luke: “Hey, motherfucker”

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Luke: “I consider him to be a basket of adorables.”

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Luke: “I could not, for the life of me, get Pod-dog to come in to the Broadcast Center today to help out with the podcasting”

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Luke: “I did it all for the noogie”

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Luke: “If the watch didn’t know it happened!”

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Luke: “Oh, man. I’ve got a, a Fresca, a microphone and nothing to do this afternoon.”

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Luke: “Oh, please God!”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Aw, shit!”

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Luke: “Spice Noodle”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “That would be ridiculous. That’s… We’re adults here!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You, my friend, should have been a detective. Well, a detective of my own life.”

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Andrew: “And I’m Luke”

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Andrew: “And really Brownsed it up”

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Andrew: “And, I swear to God. I swear to God.”

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Andrew: “Anyway”

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Andrew: “Because, because the world is an awful place.”

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Andrew: “Did you see that goddamn tweet!?!”

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Andrew: “Hello, future listeners.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if I’ve, if you’ve rubbed off on me a little bit, or if we’re just fated to do this podcast together from a butt-hurt perspective”

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Andrew: “I just don’t know how to use the Internet.”

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Andrew: “I plan on sinking this podcast.”

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Andrew: “It was almost like my phone was sick and it’s shuddering.”

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Andrew: “It’s just a bummer, Luke.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing to a funny that Luke was reading

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Andrew: “Luke!”

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Andrew: “Luke! I’ve been… Wait. What’s going on here? I’ve been added.”

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm!”

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Andrew: “Nobody does the Internet better than Stu.”

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Andrew: “Oh, hey! Hey!”

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Andrew: Reacting to an ad playing loudly on Luke’s computer

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Andrew: Saying “This is where things get hairy” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Singing “Love Potion No. 9” in a deep voice

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Andrew: “That’s gonna be… an S show.”

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Andrew: “That’s the third W!”

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Andrew: “They… just really Brownsed it up.”

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Andrew: “Turns out, I have some bad news for you Luke.”

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Andrew: “What’s going on here?”

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Andrew: “You don’t like it? Good, we’re doubling it down!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I might have spaghetti when I get home tonight. It doesn’t matter. Okay?”

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Luke: “But… what the fuck. I gotta live my life.”

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Luke: “He has… promising a ninety-eight percent reduction in blowhardin'”

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Luke: “Holy S!”

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Luke: “It’s a timeless song for a clueless segment.”

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Luke: “My beefs are your beefs and your beefs are my beefs.”

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Luke: “Pod-dog is… somewhere in the house”

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Luke: “Really”

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Luke: “Sabatage the system”

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Luke: Saying “Andrew, I met someone” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: “Shaddup!”

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Luke: Singing “Arms up for Jesus, arms up”

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Luke: Singing “Listen all of y’all it’s arbitrage. Listen all of y’all it’s arbitrage.”

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Luke: Singing “Luke-les McGoockles for sale”

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Luke: Singing “Silence is golden”

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Luke: Singing portions of a lullaby that his mother would sing

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Luke: “Welcome to the fiery depths of Hell… it turns out.”

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Luke: “You send up a lot of, you know, I don’t know what you call them, Twitter balloons.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dear… he, she, it. Right. Sir, ma’am, barista.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I think it’s more ‘Broken News’ (Broken News)”

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Luke and Andrew: Lose Yourself

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Luke and Andrew: The “No, Yes, And” Principle

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Andrew: “But it’s free!”

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Andrew: “Connected to ‘Walsh Phone'”

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Andrew: Disgusted Sound

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Andrew: Drawn out “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Eff you airline!”

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Andrew: “Get at us”

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Andrew: “Goddamn it!”

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Andrew: “Goddamn it! That’s a good joke and my mind wandered, and I totally ruined your joke. I really apologize.”

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Andrew: “He likes everything”

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Andrew: “I keep losin’ my debit cards, I don’t wanna debit card no more!”

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Andrew: “I totally fucked up your joke”

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Andrew: “I was always a Felber guy myself. I was a huge Felber-head.”

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Andrew: “I’m not going in there!”

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Andrew: “It’s football season!”

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Andrew: “Like an animal!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Old ‘Iron Fist’ Sagal?”

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Andrew: “Settle in guys!”

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Andrew: “Wait, Luke has a podcast!?”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Really?”

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Andrew: “You son of a bitch”

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Andrew: “You started as a jerk, and you’re ending even jerkier!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Awaken Siri! (Yes!) I summon thee!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have the phrase that pays! Am I the (Seriously) seventh caller?!!”

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Andrew and Luke: Possible TBTL Movie Promo

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Andrew and Luke: Role Playing “Luki”

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Luke: Chuckle

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Double Lukes”

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Luke: “Ha!”

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Luke: “He was right! He would’ve crashed.”

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Luke: “Hit me up on MySpace”

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Luke: “I’m the Siri of Taco Time”

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Luke: “Mega weird-ass Japanese candy”

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Luke: “Our Alanis level donors”

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Luke: Singing “By the time I get to Seattle”

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Luke: “Welcome to the Dark Net, everybody. Or, at least, the dark side of the Net.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t really want these. These look weird to me. Andrew will eat them. You son of a bitch.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, by the way! What!!? This sounds scandalous.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, man. Andrew, (Yeah) Andrew, Andrew.”

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Luke and Andrew: Plural of “Kit Kat”

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Andrew: “Bad news bears”

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Andrew: “But if you wanna good ol’ fashion Andy rant. Trademark. Copyright Twenty-Sixteen.”

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Andrew: “Hi, bud!”

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Andrew: “I think this is gonna be a disappointment. I don’t know for sure; but, I also can’t be distracted in Googling this all day.”

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Andrew: “Oh, okay. Never mind. I thought I was the musical guest.”

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Andrew: Overlapping clips of Andrew and Ked Woodley singing “Rollin’ out of bed”

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Andrew: “Really?!?”

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Andrew: “Tabula Rasa”

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Andrew: “That’s nuts!”

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Andrew: “They love weed!”

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Andrew: “What are you laughing at?”

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Andrew: “Why were we talking about this? What the hell were we talking about?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Huh. He didn’t say the phrase that pays, though. (Huh) The phrase that pays today, by the way, is, ‘Stick with Dick’.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a big family (Yeah) and they’re bringing a lot of sausage. Yeah. Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Let’s put five minutes on the clock. Okay, okay. Everything’s alright. I know you’re looking out for me, and I appreciate that; but, I think we could, yeah okay… No, I’m just tired of talking.”

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Luke: “By the way, this is ‘Intelligence for Your Life’ edition”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “I violated every traffic law known to man, and some that haven’t been written. The traffic law that I obeyed, ain’t been written yet.”

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Luke: “I’ve got to get… Andrew, I’ve got to figure out how to get Crispin Glover and Lea Thompson to fuck like rabbits. That’s our only chance to save this episode.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Man, did these guys shit the bed!”

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Luke: “Okay, this is where it gets confusing. This is where hands start disappearing.”

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Luke: Singing “Look into my eyes. You will see, what you mean to me.” and saying “This song goes out to all of the coffee Glovers of the world.”

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Luke: “Spare the curtain rod, spoil the child.”

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Luke: Spit Take

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Luke: “That was a reach. It’s fine. I’m willing to admit that.”

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Luke: “‘That’s my night light!’ He said, ‘I’m learnding. I can’t go into the sandbox in my room.'”

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Luke: “We’re all out of Dukes, Double Dukes and Triple Dukes today.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I, I actually have an important question here at the top of the show. Okay, is it an announcement or a question? Not totally sure. Is it a problem or a blessing? I’m also not sure about that. Okay.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it bad form to bring your neighbors a curtain rod? How–yes. How old is the kid?”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “This song goes all out to all of the coffee Glovers of the world (Oh, ho-hooooooo)”

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Luke and Andrew: “What, what should I be doing? Dick pics.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Why not, kind of, leverage your notoriety.. or, Notarietity. That didn’t work; but, (Mmm) it was so close!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Would you make me the happiest hot dog in this 7-Eleven? Could you write that down? Sure.”

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