Author: Linh Pham

Andrew: “And now, he’s just Elmer Fudding it up up there.”

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Andrew: “Geez, Louise!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Leave me and my family alone.”

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Andrew: “Like, why? Uhhh!”

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Andrew: “My name is Andrew Walsh, and I’m a podcaster.”

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Andrew: “Only two percent of Chesney songs ever come back!”

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Andrew: “So, I have the only mortal cat… in the world.”

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Andrew: “Talk!”

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Andrew: “That… makes me sad.”

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Andrew: “This is a very neighborhoody neighborhood I live in, if you know what I mean.”

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Andrew: “You wanna get a little taste of my isolated vocals, check this out: My name is Andrew Walsh, and I’m a podcaster.”

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Andrew: “You’re not very good at communicating with humans.”

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Andrew: “Your bruhs. Your bros.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, it’s been kind of a shh… Swear alert. You can say it. Shitty weekend. What if I had said shiny?”

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Luke: “Avoid The Noid”

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Luke: “Broadcasting from the Burbank Springs Production Facilities perched atop Alabama Hills.”

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Luke: “Dude, I got something. Oh dude, what is it? Dude, come over here. Dude.”

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Luke: “He’s up in Canadia.”

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Luke: “I don’t know why I’m being such a grumpus”

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Luke: Imitating Pitbull

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Luke: “It’s because she’s paralyzed with fucking fear!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oh, and today is, it’s the first day of baseball season!”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from Kenny Chesney’s “Noise”

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Luke: Reciting more lyrics from Kenny Chesney’s “Noise”

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Luke: Replacing “Noise” with “Noid” while reciting lyrics from Kenny Chesney’s “Noise”

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Luke: Singing “Who combed the dog off?”

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Luke: “Speaking of fireballs, my friend Andrew Walsh is there in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle.”

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Luke: “That’s why it’s good that you’re you, and I’m not you.”

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Luke: “The Charmin Bears that just shit on everything!”

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Luke: “The Only Mortal Cat”

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Luke: “Then we move on to hip-hop’s Latin Elmer Fudd, Pitbull.”

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Luke: “This is the future!”

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Luke: “Using this fur comb-thing-device that I maniacally, kind of, rake her down with every morning in the yard now, in the backyard.”

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Luke: “We will all cross our fingers, for, for the return of Theo; or, Theo just having a bitchin’ final act.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Give me a brark on all of that. Give me a brark.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s not helping. No!!! That’s what I thought! That’s not helping!”

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Andrew: “Apparently”

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Andrew: “April Fools!”

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Andrew: “Don’t worry about it, they’ll come back. Put on another Family Guy!”

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Andrew: “Good Lord!”

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Andrew: Good News and Bad News re: Luke’s Shirt Showering

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke. I’m not feeling funny this morning.”

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Andrew: “I need to remember that people listen to this.”

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Andrew: “If my phone rings and it’s Professor Bananas, I will have to pick it up.”

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Andrew: “Is it over?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Show title!”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Whoo! Good Lord! I need to burn this podcast. We need to start a new podcast.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hmm. Wait, what? What’s that? Her? Huh? Egg?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I gotta say we’re off to a hot start. Wow!!! Well, I think we know your new intro on the show, Andrew.”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’re catless in Seattle right now. Wait, what?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Which is good, cuz you’re in Sacramento and there’s plenty of water in California these days. Oh, my God… you son of a bitch.”

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Luke: “And I do mean, for once, morning edition. Ooh, did I just violate a trademark or a copyright by saying those words next to each other?”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘The Funny Detectorist’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Andrew, no less pressing.”

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Luke: “By the way, how dare you water shame me from Seattle! You don’t even live here anymore.”

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Luke: “Hey, uh, uh, uh, uh, notice me Senpai… in the kitchen.”

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Luke: “I am gonna leave the water running, just to spite you.”

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Luke: “It’ll be fine!”

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Luke: “Me too!”

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Luke: “See? This is because I’m from the Northwest and I live in the Northwest, Andrew; where, the water flows like wine, or something.”

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Luke: “What did I do!!?”

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Luke: “Whoo!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, you gotta stay woke. What is that?”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting Woke on Alabama Hot Pocket

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Luke and Andrew: “New York City. New York City?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Swearing alert. Okay, everybody? Yep. I’m about to say a swear word. I’m taking off my headphones. Fuckboy. That’s trending right now. Is it over? Can I put my headphones back on? Yep. Okay, good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You got woke my friend. Ah, you in New Hampshire now!”

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Andrew: Andrew doesn’t give a shit if he sounds like an old man

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Andrew: “Are you kidding me man? I love driving when I’m high! It’s just like, it’s just like, riding that magic carpet.”

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Andrew: “Because, that’s how insane people, like me, see the world.”

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Andrew: “Could you stop Swedesplaining this to me, please?”

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Andrew: “Hey, man, wanna, wanna roll a doobie?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m touching it. I don’t think I’m messing with it.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Where the weed is, is legal… and the… I’m out.”

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Andrew: “Yeah… Impregnate all the girls!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ve never been able to do a magic eye. Really? Yeah, my eyes are all jacked up.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is this one of those situations where, no matter what happens here, I have to laugh, right? Mmm-hmm, yes. Okay. It is one, it’s exactly one of those situations.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just what the hell is going on with the youth of America? This is exactly what I’m trying to figure out, Walsh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’! ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’, I just thought of it (Yes), Andrew. Edit to that point, will ya? You’re leaving all of this in as proof. I am not, I’m gonna edit, I’m gonna edit! Um, I don’t know. I might leave it in.”

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Luke: “All you do is spin around. It’s all you dos is get dizzy.”

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Luke: “Bridge… Over Troubled Podcast”

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Luke: “I missed my flight a few weeks ago, because I’m a dingus.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Often say a photo is worth a thousand words, this photo is worth a millions words. And, we’ll lay down at least nine-hundred thousand of them on this here Thursday edition of the show.”

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Luke: “So, uh, we, we sexted a little bit last night.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “Jeremiah was an Uber driver!” and Andrew saying “Oh, no.”

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Luke and Andrew: “No, he would say ‘Knock the horns off, wipe its butt and send it up.’ Eww, so gross!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, you’re Team Piper. Oh, yeah! I thought we made that clear. Hmm… okay. Interesting. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is my happening, and I’m freaking out! This is your happening, and I’m freaking out.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Trucks, trucks, and more trucks! Tell ’em The Bone sent ya!”

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Andrew: “Anyway…. ignore that.”

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Andrew: Barbershops make Andrew nervous

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Andrew: “Barbershops make me nervous”

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Andrew: “Can I, I, we need, we really need to move on; but, I am going to backtrack so far here, that’s gonna make your head spin.”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Jesus.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Notice me Largent, notice me!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. Really?”

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Andrew: “That has got me embarrassed.”

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Andrew: Whispering: “Oh my God, this guy.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you still have that ‘I’m embarrassed’ drop handy, because I’m embarrassed. ‘This is embarrassing!’ That one? That’s the one.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s Confidence (Yeah) By The Foot, gotcha.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know, what is that one person can wear that and be like ‘This is my style, I own it.’ And then, I go, like, ‘This is my style, I own it. Oww! That hurt.’ Right. Ohhh.”

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Luke: “And, scene.”

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Luke: “At the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center”

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Luke: “Fuck you!!!”

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Luke: “‘God damn, this is Sunkist!’ and they would call their congressperson.”

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Luke: “I can also observe her just leaving some giant, steaming Pod-dog piles.”

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Luke: “I just watched a teenager sneak out of the house!”

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Luke: “I know you like, I know you like.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh my God, like crazy!”

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Luke: “Oh, man!”

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Luke: “Screw you all!!! You’re all corrupt. You make me sick!”

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Luke: “That’s the irony! That’s the irony.”

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Luke: “Welcome to my world.”

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Luke and Andrew: “A new way of living, that I become aware of today, I’m very excited, thanks to Golf Digest Magazine… God, you’re old.”

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Luke and Andrew: “House of Mouse Prexy Ankles Cheese Project. It’s always House of Mouse, it’s always House of Mouse.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I barely have time for you, and I’m a loser! I know, you sent me something with notes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve, I know what I have done is, I have shamelessly used my wife has a human ordering shield. Oh, no. Really?”

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Luke and Andrew: Role-playing IHOP breakfast scene

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Luke and Andrew: Role-playing Luke ordering a steak at a steakhouse

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Luke and Andrew: “The toast now arrives black and scary, just the way I like. And, probably, with a giant loogie on it, ya asshole. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, let’s just, let’s, let’s take the rhetoric down. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Time is currency. Jesus.”

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Luke ad Andrew: “Time is currency. Right. Oh my God, this guy.”

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Andrew: “Because, it is for real.”

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Andrew: “Bullshit, Finn Brunton!”

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Andrew: “Carbuncle and barnacle. You see my confusion!”

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Andrew: “Hey!”

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Andrew: “I don’t give a shit, Jimmy Kimmel.”

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Andrew: “I guess I was saying that as half a spoof. Two and a half spoo… One and a half spoofs.”

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Andrew: “Kids, earmuffs for a second.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “I get jokes. I get jokes.”

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Andrew: “Nobody can get bogged down in IT problems.”

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Andrew: Singing “Pop-Up Video”

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Andrew: “Sydney Leather”

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Andrew: “This is about to be the rantings of just like an old man who’s no longer at all relevant; as if, I ever were.”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew got half a spoof

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Andrew and Luke: Josh The IT Specialist

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Luke: “And then, what if there was some butt stuff he wasn’t into?”

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Luke: “Au contraire mon frère”

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Luke: “I am not Golluming the way I typically are.”

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Luke: “If Luke can say it, Andrew can do it.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Li’l Faces”

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Luke: “No shit, Sherlock!”

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Luke: “Pod-dog (Perro) is balled up behind me, per ush.”

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Luke: “Screw you!”

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Luke: “Shaun T really did a number on me on Sunday; but, I’m here and ready to go”

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Luke: Singing “Lovitz, would you like some sausage?”

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Luke: Singing “Young Bobby!”

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Luke: “The struggle is for real.”

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Luke: “This is a hot property, bruh!”

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Luke: “This show is turning into a real carbuncle.”

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Luke: “Wrong emphasis… Wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable.”

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Luke: “Yuck”

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Luke and Andrew: Describing how Ron Upshaw responded to a question ask on how TBTL was started

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Luke and Andrew: “I was a little Bizmissive. You were a little Bizmissive.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m gonna re-pick your nit. Eww.”

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Luke and Andrew: “They’d shiznit their pants? Yes! Why didn’t I say that exactly?”

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