Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And, actually… to add another layer or Burbankiness to this”

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Andrew: “Big… fat… wide, and only turned up on one end”

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Andrew: “Don’t… don’t, don’t send this show; and, don’t send the boat to my dad. Cuz, I wanna send the boat to my dad.”

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Andrew: “Every time I talk, it flashes”

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Andrew: “God, take me to that world! Take me to that world!”

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Andrew: “Hodor”

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Andrew: “I’m not anti-this lamp”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna try to use your special words. I’m just gonna use words to describe… the action as I’m picturing it”

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Andrew: “Nobody send this to my dad!”

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Andrew: “Nobody send this to my dad! Like you did the damn election show.”

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Andrew: “Well, nobody, nobody… salt my game here, as Luke would say”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “Woo!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Marry me, (Okay) alright?”

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Luke: “Because cats cannot live on dragonflies alone, Andrew”

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Luke: “Hi, I’m Luke Burbank. I’m thirteen years old.”

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Luke: “I was gonna straight up go Bambi on the ice”

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Luke: “I was just such a youth!”

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Luke: “No doy”

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Luke: “This forty-one year old rig cannot handle going ass over tea kettle over the front of a skateboard anymore”

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Luke: “Uhh, he might be up to trouble”

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Luke: “Violence is never the answer”

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Luke: “And… as it got into the general range that it wanted to be in, I said, ‘Nope… shut it down. We’re not gonna let this go on the official record.'”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Does that surprise you, Andrew? Does that shock you? Does that boog ya? I don’t mean to boog ya. Play the blues.”

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Luke: “Get Jesse!”

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Luke: “How was I making news-related sounds?”

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Luke: “I can’t call it North Kakalaki can I? No, I can’t do that.”

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Luke: “I feel, I’m feeling… oddly okay in my skin, for once! It’s a very rare thing for me.”

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Luke: “I had a very… 2017 thing happen to me late last night”

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Luke: “I made a huge mistake today. Which is, I decided to weigh myself… before the show”

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Luke: “I’m starting to think that butt-dialing might be… it might be the… the thing that keeps my family together ultimately”

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Luke: “Lord knows, with our technology, there’s a good chance it won’t get recorded”

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Luke: “Oh. My. God in Heaven.”

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Luke: Playing the blues with his mouth, in the style of U2’s The Edge

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Luke: “Shades of Burbank”

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Luke: “Shades of, Shades of B”

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Luke: Singing “It’s the shape of my booty”

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Luke: “This was written for my good friend Andrew Louis Walsh”

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Luke: Watching a sunset at Burbank Springs, only to be interrupted by the Pod-pets

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Luke: “Whoop, whoop”

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Luke: “Your body… is… a wonderland, Luke. And, your body can do things that you don’t think it can do. Like, it’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna, it’s gonna hold this all in.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everybody play a rimshot in your own head. A mental rimshot. Yeah! Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is it the Twitterverse or the Twittersphere? Oh, it depends. I’m personally, I’m in the Twittersphere. You might be in the Twitterverse though.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s up with that? Because, I do, I do a lot of butt-dialing. And, is it the shape of my butt? Is it that sweet, sweet apple of mine? And by, I mean, my butt not the phone. (Right) All of the above. Sweet, sweet apples. It’s apple on Apple action.”

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Andrew: “And again, I’m not a Juggalo”

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Andrew: “C-can’t talk! C-can’t talk.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank. How does this day find you?”

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Andrew: “‘Hi, Guys’ I already messed it up. It said, ‘Hey, Guys'”

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Andrew: “I’d like to think that you warged into Adam Felber”

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Andrew: “I’m already geared up… Pardon me”

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Andrew: “If somebody is, you know, dealing with this type of… malady, again… to use that word. If you’re, hey… if you’re playing a drinking game at hime, take a drink every time I say, ‘malady'”

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Andrew: “Is that–Oh my God! Is that why you texted me last night and… ask me if Master Splinter is mad at me?”

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Andrew: “Laser baldness hair plugs”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let’s call it somewhat charming sloppiness that makes TBTL, TBTL.”

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Andrew: “Nah, nah, it’s good. I work really hard.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God, those PDs have no idea what’s coming out of the air (??)“

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Andrew: One possible way of trying to get a public radio program director to play the TBTL Halloween special

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Andrew: “This all grumpy old man shit, right?”

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Andrew: “Two-Oh-Six. Four-One-Four. Eight-Two-Eight-Five. That spells TBTL”

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Andrew: “Who Let The Poops Out? Who? Who? Who? Who?”

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Andrew: “Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I receive way more butt-dials from you than actual phone calls. Do you know that? Yes. Okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: “‘I’ll spare the gruesome details; but, I did have to leave me undies on the floor, as there was no trash can. After…’ Shout out to sponsor, MeUndies. Don’t anybody tell them about this story.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just call. Don’t worry, we’re not gonna, we’re not gonna embarrass you. Well, I (No) might. We… we… we might embarrass ourselves, but that’s kind of our schtick.”

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Andrew and Luke: “This show’s weird isn’t it? I’m being weird. I don’t know why I’m (Everything okay?) being so weird today.”

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Andrew: “Cheese and crackers!!”

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Andrew: “Genevieve, what kind of beer do we like?”

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Andrew: “Holy macaroni!”

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Andrew: “How do you feel about adding… explosive? Just like a light explosive?”

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Andrew: “I’m a schlub. Let’s just face it. But… schlub no more with Five Four Club.”

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Andrew: “I’m having a Tuesday that feels like a Monday. My brain isn’t working right.”

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Andrew: “I’m with you, buddy”

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Andrew: “Is this… too disturbing to put on the tape?”

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Andrew: “It’s extra bold. You can’t handle it!”

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Andrew: “Now, it actually does cover my face. It’s an honest-to-God b–face hider now.”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “That, which loses the Song of the Summer cannot lose the Song of the Summer again”

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Andrew: “That’s not the right word”

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Andrew: “That’s not the right word. I’m trying to be high and mighty; and, I literally can’t even think of the word I’m looking for.”

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Andrew: “When you see what it actually is… it’s just a fucked up stop sign. Like, I’m not even joking!”

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Andrew: “You know that. I had five hot dogs in front of you this weekend.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew Despocito-rolled Luke

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Andrew and Luke: “Looking’s for free. Touching will cost ya. (Mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Quick update on that picnic, if you don’t mind. You had mentioned, it’s the twenty-ace… [ph] it’s the 28th, next Thursday. It’s the, it’s the 31st; but, you’re… Oh, shit-snacks! The 28th is a Monday… Wow.”

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Luke: “¡Jalapeño!”

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Luke: “Do not, do not.. Please do not Burbank… Do not Burbank a Burbank.”

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Luke: “Hey, ya! Sweet… big boy. Hey, ya.”

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Luke: “It’s north of a Jon Snow; but, south of a Father John Misty”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Which persist. Nevertheless! They persisted.”

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Luke: “Wow. Kind of looks like the moon. Amazing.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Are you still seeing Dr. Nick Riviera? Yeah. Yeah. No. Good. He’s in my network.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, you’re gonna be… dinking and… You’re gonna bleepin’ and bloopin’ around with this show for the next (Mmm-hmm) two hours”

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Luke and Andrew: “Then, right after it, there was another mountain that was a different color. Which, started… right after the solar eclipse searches started to go down. And, that search term was, ‘Why do my eyes hurt?’ Oh… Oh, no. That wasn’t just a meme? That wasn’t just a joke?”

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Andrew: “Captain Daddy and the Rude Dog”

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Andrew: “God! Does the moon look cocky to you?”

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “Hey guys, we have a short boat. Anybody know where the short boats go?”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke… listen… I met Rudy. She was not a pink dog. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I crashed into anything”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be blind”

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Andrew: “I kind of keep on thinking about the podcast; and, I keep on forgetting about the sun disappearing”

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Andrew: “I’m not ready to just Calvin off the side of the boat”

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Andrew: “Knock on… wooden boat”

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Andrew: “Meanwhile, I’ll be evacuating something myself… wondering if we’re gonna survive the eclipse”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. I got a voicemail from my husband… on boat day”

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Andrew: “Rudy seems ridiculously chill, man!”

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Andrew: Singing “Turn around”

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Andrew: “Sun’s still gone”

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Andrew: “That seal… has probably heard more bullshit podcasts. People riding on their boats be like, ‘Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go podcast from a boat.'”

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Andrew: “This is the happiest I’ve seen Luke all day!”

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Andrew and Luke: “And then, fire up the old podcart machine… in a little bit, as the sun gets closer to exploding; or, whatever is going to happen. Thanks, Neil deGrasse Tyson.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew asked if Luke was still distracted by the destroyed planter box, but Luke sort of forgot about it

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Andrew and Luke: “How much is that planter… just going to… eat at your brain this entire day? Umm… a lot.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I didn’t bring a stadium pail. I don’t know what the plan is if I have to go to the bathroom. Just right off the side of the boat, man.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I do see a bunch of boats up there; but, they look like tall boats. Their grace and splendor? Hey guys, we have a short boat. Anybody know where the short boats go?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, Luke… we’re in a boat; but, we’re… on land. What’s going on here? Are we doing this right? I don’t know”

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Andrew and Luke: “We could be at the bottom of the sea, you know. Your, your concerns are much more about us actually surviving this. I’m just worried about getting in trouble; but, okay.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You backed the boat into the slip. Is that the right term? Uh, no; but, okay. Hey… I’m the one who’s culturally nautical”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re my ride home, dude! (I know) Could you just save your eyes until I get on that bus?”

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Luke: Accidentally destroyed a planter box while towing his boat and saying “Umm, and so… Shit!”

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Luke: “Daddy gotta get that other thirteen percent”

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Luke: “I believe in Jesus! Holy shit, dude!”

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Luke: “I completely taco’d this planter… box that we have”

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Luke: “I don’t really have a Plan B”

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Luke: “I have to pee”

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Luke: Leaving a voicemail message for Carey regarding destroying a planter box

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Luke: “This is special! This is special!!”

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Luke: “Well, here we go… from a Toyota 4Runner… pulling a boat… that recently, completely destroyed a planter box… at my house”

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Luke: “Yeah, dude! We’re golden!”

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Luke and Andrew: Boat sitrep and not quite correctly explaining bow, stern, port and starboard

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Luke and Andrew: Bonus material at the end of the show

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Luke and Andrew: “I didn’t want to… go to Oregon today; and, and I thought, well… No offense, Oregon. Yeah, peace and love.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m sorry… please refer to me as Captain Daddy. Alright. Captain Daddy and the Rude Dog”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke futzed with his eclipse glasses, which came off for a moment, causing Luke to look directly at the sun

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, look, there’s a seal right there. Oh! We’re… next to a seal!! Don’t look directly at the sun!”

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Luke and Andrew: Putting on their eclipse glasses and seeing the eclipse start

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Luke and Andrew: “So, when I say… that the battery is working means we’re okay; it just means that we’ve made it to the next level… of this video game called, ‘Life’. When’s the next eclipse?”

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