Andrew: “And, apparently… he knows about TBTL!”
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Andrew: “And, I look like I am in a some sort of… cosplay for blue-collar America”
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Andrew: “Apologies for making… farty noises with my lips into the microphone there”
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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m pretty schlubby when I leave the house anyway”
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Andrew: “Get me inside my public radio bubble… stat!”
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Andrew: “Hand-clappy, but not boot-stompy”
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Andrew: “Here’s a story that won’t pay off”
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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. Is it too early, I’m not gonna say, ‘for a fish sandwich'”
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Andrew: “I don’t know if this is super interesting; but, I just wanted to tell you. So, I figured I’d might as well tell you on mic; because, it’s interesting to me, dammit”
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Andrew: “I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: “Or… whatever”
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Andrew: Quiet “Ding!”
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Andrew: Snorting
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Andrew: “Yeah, that’s hand-clappy and boot-stompy”
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Andrew: “Yeah!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”
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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, I won’t read the whole thing. Please, don’t. I’ll be mortified”
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Andrew and Luke: “Can I ask you a question? Yes. Why don’t you just write it on the back of your hands, like I do”
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Andrew and Luke: “Dude, there’s a Trans Am that’s cyberbullying me right now. To within an inch of your life! You know those Trans Ams grew up to be cyberbullies. Of course!”
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Andrew and Luke: “Everybody’s got some sort of… dumbass web-azine, like… You know we’re a borderline dumbass web-azine. I know, but we don’t prank people!”
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Andrew and Luke: “I have an update… do you want me to hold it? Hold the update”
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Andrew and Luke: “You could’ve borrowed the human blanket… you’re in town… You know how we have the cat blanket and the human blanket? Oh, God! I thought your new nickname for yourself was ‘The Human Blanket'”
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Listeners: Listeners leaving voicemail messages
Luke: “And… I know this is, like, the height of laziness”
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Luke: “Any vaguely white blob”
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Luke: “Happy to report: I didn’t cry”
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Luke: “I gotta dance with what brung me… and, and, rampant insecurity is what brung me”
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Luke: “I think you’re meowing up the wrong cat condo”
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Luke: “My chin is like an isosceles triangle”
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Luke: “My tootsies were freezin’. My nose was freezin’; and, also, my hands was freezin'”
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Luke: “One bro… bro-ing it up”
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Luke: Singing the McDonald’s jingle and saying “You’re likin’ it”
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Luke: “The greatest hits… from the 20s, 30s… 40s, 50s, and 70s… and Genesis!”
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Luke: “This is gonna be one of those shows that’s either going to be magical or tragical… as far as my contribution goes”
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Luke: “We are going to record… just a… a bushelful… of TBTL… holiday spesh… An entire week of holiday spesh”
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Luke: “Well, I’m doing two things that are kinda cheaty”
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Luke and Andrew: “My theory is that Jerky Boys sold one cassette tape… And, everybody taped it? And then, everybody else in America was working off of a dub of a dub of a dub of a dub”
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Luke and Andrew: “What would Andrew Walsh’s… finishing move; would it be called, ‘The Apology’? Yes, it would! I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do”
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