Clips From TBTL #2633

Andrew: “Again, I don’t think you know who I am”

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Andrew: “Andy out!!”

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Andrew: “Are you gonna get the three meat… dealy?”

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Andrew: “By the way… let’s hope there is a newsletter this week; cuz, I ain’t done it yet”

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Andrew: Cute laugh

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Andrew: “First of all… don’t click on the Etsy link under ‘collectible jock’… You would think that Etsy would be a safe space on the Internet. It is… not!”

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Andrew: “I would have just tried to maximize my meats more”

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Andrew: “I, I poop on thee”

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Andrew: “I’m playing video games in my room… while, Genevieve is watching… adult television. Wait, that sounded gross”

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Andrew: “If I walk in on one more dude doing a podcast. Uhhhh! Why can’t they just be naked like the old days?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “My favorite meat… is Celtic hot dog meat”

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Andrew: “Oh, sure! I love hot dogs too! I love sausages”

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Andrew: “Stu, the Stu-bot, River Boy, Neuman”

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Andrew: “The daddening is complete!”

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Andrew: “What if they were the Utah… Honey-Do Lists? (I cannot believe he just told that joke)”

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Andrew: “Why am I not watching this show all the time!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew imagines that someone disguised as a toilet caught a school superintendent pooping on another school’s lawn

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, let’s get serious about this for one second (Please)”

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Andrew and Luke: “What do you think the Utah Jazz should change its name to? Be nice… The Hot Dog Meats? The Decaffeinates? (How about the) The Utah Decaffeinates”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where do you think you can get the best hot dog meat in Austin? That’s what I wanna know. Please don’t make me spit out my… hotel-grade coffee… with Sweet’N Low in it”

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Listener and Child: Star Wars and TBTL Trivia

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Luke: “And, also, can I… can we make a rule that I never call you, ‘Daddy’ again?”

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Luke: “And, don’t report me to Smokey Bear”

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Luke: “By the way, we didn’t choose the… the poopity-scoop life, the poopity-scoop life chose us”

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Luke: “Couple of BGs on me from last night”

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Luke: “God… everything we say sounds so dirty today!”

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Luke: “Here we go, here we do”

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Luke: “Oh my God, dude! You just time traveled me… right back to… high school days”

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Luke: Saying “We love you… Kyle ‘Seago'” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Singing “Da-doot-da-doot”

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Luke: “That is like… that is… a joke on top of a joke, on top of a joke”

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Luke: “The daddening… is complete”

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Luke: “Wait Wait Don’t Remember… the Name of the Show?”

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Luke: “What do I order at Stubbs so that you won’t be disappointed in me, Daddy?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Doody (Doody)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can’t shit at a Barnes and Noble… like… Really!? Bookstores make me go… Really?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wait, is the Kindle the device, or is it actually the software? I, it’s a device; but, I also use the Kindle app on my phone. So, either way, you’re fine, Gramps”

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Clips From TBTL #2632: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Anybody under the age of… thirty-six is now a ‘young’ to me”

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Luke: “First of all, I know it. I get it”

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Luke: “I think why I’m so resistant to this sound is because… it makes me feel old; and, let me explain why… because, those two young people, that were sitting in Stubbs… getting ready for this show tonight… I, I honestly think they don’t… they’d have never heard Led Zeppelin… or, they have barely heard Led Zeppelin”

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Luke: “I, I’m, I’m sounding so curmudgeonly… mostly, just making me confront the fact that I old”

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Luke: “Is this Yelp? What is this, Facebook?”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Leave!!!”

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Luke: “Now, why don’t you explain what the… hell I’m jabbering on about”

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Luke: Saying “And, I come back in with a dead dog number” as Casey Kasem

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Luke: Singing “We’re in the Thursday… we call it Blursday”

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Luke: “So, everybody weep for me quietly”

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Luke: “The good news is… you didn’t understand my joke; because, it did not make sense”

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Luke: “We’re in the Thursday… we call it Blursday… Is this on? Oh my God… This is so embarrassing”

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Luke: “What are you, what are you rebelling against? What do you got?”

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Luke: “Yeah, right”

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Luke and Andrew: “A man’s thoughts turn to pho. Yes”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew corrects Luke on the meat count of his three meat plate and doesn’t like that Luke skipped on the sausage

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Luke and Andrew: “In Synecdoche, in the movie that Charlie Kaufman made; and, mercifully, we gotta take a break here… Saved by the break”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is this another one of your beloved… baseball-related instrumentals? No!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke introducing and congratulating Andrew on his “promotion” to Special Assistant to the Chairman of American Public Media

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, and guess what… (Yeah!) it is! Alright!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We, we really and truly would not be able to do this show… which, I don’t know, maybe that’d be a good thing; but, we would not be able to do this show without ya. We barely can do it with ya. Can you imagine if we didn’t have your dazzling donation? Dear, God!”

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Clips From TBTL #2632: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “#NoKetchupOnAHotDog”

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Andrew: “Alright, Vieves… This is it, man. Breaking news time!”

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Andrew: “And, I’m not saying this is right; but, I get real cranky about that. Like, I don’t like being in crowds and I don’t like being in crowds with young people”

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Andrew: “Come on, entitled kids. Get out of the way! Old man needs his straw and napkin”

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Andrew: “I am happy if Ichiro is happy”

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Andrew: “I do feel like you’re doing it wrong”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what their f… final solution was. I like to use the term, ‘final solution'”

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Andrew: “I don’t think that that’s not funny; I think that I don’t get it”

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Andrew: “I joke about how… it’s a hard eye-roll when somebody from outside New Hampshire describes the people of New Hampshire as flinty; but, guess what… the people of New Hampshire are flinty”

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Andrew: “I mean… all kidding aside… of course, why would I want to stop kidding and go to unfunny town?”

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Andrew: “I was… dying”

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Andrew: “I’m not even faking it either”

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Andrew: “Is somebody gonna explain this to us!!?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing quietly

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Andrew: “Let’s face it… just because you and I love old, dirty places like that doesn’t mean that there’s enough business to keep ’em afloat”

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Andrew: “My whole living vicariously through you has fallen apart… now, that I know you’re eating turkey… at Stubbs”

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Andrew: “People were keeping that shit together long after it would’ve naturally fell down”

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Andrew: “Promoted… question mark?”

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Andrew: Saying “Luke… I am your co-bro” underneath Luke

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Andrew: “Seriously, that’s it? You’re shitting me, right?”

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Andrew: “Sharpshot… by the Andrew-bot (Stu-bot)”

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Andrew: “That thing crashed in 2003… 2003 was still a very weird time… in this country. It was still… I mean, I… I don’t know if I… I’m already not using my words well today. I don’t need to tell people what an impact 9/11 had on this country”

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Andrew: “That was a really long story that I don’t think made any sense, Luke”

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Andrew: “The fuck!?!”

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Andrew: “Well, I was down the street, slurping up my pho”

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Andrew: “Well, yeah. That’s… the whole thing of music is: somebody banged a couple of rocks together, somebody added… another beat in there; and, then, eventually, that evolved into something else. Like… that was a really stupid thing to say. But, I don’t know how music started”

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Andrew: “What the hell!!?”

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Andrew: “Would you like them more if they were called, ‘Greta Van Fleek’?”

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Andrew: “Yes!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “That is about… the most wrong and the most right thing you’ve ever said on this show before. Oh my God. Well, there is a right way to wrong and a wrong way to roll… You know, I’ve always said that”

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Clips From TBTL #2631: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “But, on the other sharpshoot”

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Luke: “By the way, Andrew just had a seizure”

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Luke: Drawn out “Voice-amaphone”

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Luke: “I don’t really want to know this”

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Luke: “It tweets so… so hard”

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Luke: “It’s pronounced, ‘Wooster’… Jhoon Wooster”

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Luke: “Looking around, I have not made any kitten sightings yet… (Kittens inspired by kittens!) They’re probably upstairs in their private chambers… just… droppings dollops… of… of… of scoopity-poop-poop… everywhere; that, my friend Andrew… will later be chiseling off the floors”

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Luke: Mouth trumpeting Spoon’s “The Underdog”

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Luke: Saying “I was the greatest Tide Podder that ever lived… Nobody can Tide Pod… Frazier” as Muhammed Ali

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Luke: Saying “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down tha–” as Ronald Reagan

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Luke: Saying “Um… well… um… well” as Ronald Reagan

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Luke: Saying “Yeah’m… well… um… well” as Ronald Reagan

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Luke: Singing “Hey, hey, we’re the MON-kees! [ph]

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Luke: Singing “Where were you… when they built a ladder to heaven”

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Luke: “Sorry, guys. It’s gonna be one of those days”

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Luke: “Steve ‘River Boy’ Neuman?”

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Luke: “Stop coughing into your shirt”

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Luke: “Taargüs, Taargüs”

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Luke: “This is gonna… this is gonna take us down Political Town”

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Luke: “Uh, yeah, this karate gi? This… cuts me, man… cuts my bunghole. It’s like I’m on a… it’s like I’m wearing a wire”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew keeps dinging Jhoon Rhee with the same joke and Luke pulls a “Wooster” joke

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, USA-1000, that’s a… bitchin’ phone number. Yes, it is. Can we, is it too late for us to get that… for the TBTL voicemail line? Mmm, probably. Alright”

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Luke and Andrew: Drawn out “Saxamaphone (Saxamaphone)”

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Luke and Andrew: Forward promoting No Point Conversion

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Luke and Andrew: “Was the show possibly called, ‘Widespread Luting’? Did you just come up with that? So terrible! (That’s pretty good)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Welcome back to Twitter Tips… I’m Bob Mondello… I’m in for Dave Davies… I’m Bob Mondello, in for Dave Davies, in for Terry Gross”

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Luke and Andrew: “You happy now, Dad? (So… that is so gross!) Am I good enough? Did you hear my Ronald Reagan impression… on the party line? Is that good enough for you, old man?!”

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Clips From TBTL #2631: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “All these people really just wanna see dirty carrot pics!”

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Andrew: “By the way, quick update on my life; only, cuz, I’m sure a lotta people are curious”

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Andrew: “I’m interested”

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Andrew: “I’m just gonna chill. I’m gonna drink this in, literally and figuratively”

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Andrew: “I’m out”

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Andrew: “It is a bee-yootiful [ph] day outside”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Luuuke!”

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Andrew: Making a buzzer sound

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Andrew: “No mountain to tall; and, comfortable pants for all”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ. What’s the difference?”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, yeah. Who you talking to?”

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Andrew: “Oh, great!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Get me Lieutenant Eckhardt”

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Andrew: Saying “Alright! What’s the question? Nope! Nope! Next!” in a hyper manner

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Andrew: Singing “Spoonman”

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Andrew: “Things that felt like, kind of, close the blinds as my… that starting to sound like dirty carrot talk again”

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Andrew: Trying to do the DFTB drop

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Andrew: “What do you want them to yell in the audience instead of ‘Luuuuke!’ and it sounds like ‘Boooo!’?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, Luke. Welcome to… welcome to the studio. What am I…? (It’s great being here) Sorry. I’m, I’m trying out for an NPR job. Uh-huh. Hello. Welcome to studio 4-A”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a whole thing of tissues right here… You know I’m the Tissue King! Is that… is that what you do with your carrots?”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke blows his nose and Andrew tells the listeners that Luke used his shirt

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Andrew and Luke: Luke wiped his nose on the inside of his shirt, which irked Andrew “Tissue King” Walsh

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “Take me down… I love ‘Take Me Down to Political Town'”

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Clips From TBTL #2630

Andrew: “Burp!”

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Andrew: “But… every time I hear some bro on sports radio be like, ‘Ah, good stuff, man. Good stuff. Alright, you can catch on… ESPN… 710.’ Like, it just… it gets under my craw”

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Andrew: “Chung-chung sound”

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Andrew: “Did he just… burp?”

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Andrew: “Give the people what I want!”

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Andrew: “Hey, wait! Hold on a second here”

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Andrew: “I have a million little verbal ticks that I would love to take out of my vocabulary. Listening back to me, on this show, is a painful endeavor for me. I can’t even imagine what’s going on in the listeners’ heads”

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Andrew: “I’m getting emotional here… No, I just was drinking some coffee and it went down the wrong pipe!”

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Andrew: Making Bob Dylan-like sounds

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Andrew: “No, I think she’s judging your toes, you gross man”

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Andrew: “Oh, good stuff, Luke. I just want to say, good stuff there”

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Andrew: “Oh! And, the best part is… not me, of course; because, I’m always on the right side of the law”

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Andrew: “Ooh! Explicit!”

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Andrew: “Our brains are our brains, and the song the is the song; and, whatever this was”

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Andrew: Singing “Samson. Samson. Oooh!”

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Andrew: “That is going to come back to bite us all on the ass”

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Andrew: “To make a long story slightly shorter”

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Andrew: “Totally paid off. Glad I did that”

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Andrew: “Well, you don’t wanna work that. Good stuff, Luke. Damn! I shoulda just said, ‘Good stuff, Luke'”

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Andrew: “Worth it!”

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Andrew: “You mentioned the ‘Y’all’ thing… she double-barreled it, man! ‘All, y’all'”

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Andrew and Luke: “Bad stuff, Luke. (How was that gross!?) Bad stuff”

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Andrew and Luke: “I can’t afford the other one yet… it’s on layaway! (I’m doing a Kickstarter!) Support my Patreon!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Whoa… settle down, Rudy (Yeah)”

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Luke: “Apologies; or, you’re welcome”

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Luke: “At what point does this become… mildly… erotic… is the real question (Ooooh!)”

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Luke: “Bad stuff, Andrew”

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Luke: “I don’t want to be gross”

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Luke: “I love… this story… This is a beautiful story, Andrew”

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Luke: “I… I told you, I don’t listen to the show”

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Luke: “I’ve got a sixty two and a half pound… yellow lab doing that exact thing; and, tell you what, feels amazing. (I say, I say, what’s up dog?) Just like… giving me the world’s greatest pedicure and toe cleaning; and, it actually tickles… Okay, Rudy. That’s actually too much”

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Luke: Imitating a burp

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from “We’re in the Money”

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Luke: Singing “Couldn’t escape if I wanted to”

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Luke: Singing “Waterloo”

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Luke: “That part… that part… was regrettable”

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Luke: “We’ve got to give the people what… I want”

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Luke: “Without… getting too… ‘Ooh, explicit’ on it (Oh, ‘Explicit!’)”

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Luke: “You’d be, like, ‘How… is this… possible!?'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Also, apparently, this is the show… where, I just read lyrics of songs… totally dispassionately… to the enjoyment, I believe, of the listeners. And, if you don’t know, now you know… Listeners”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, and, Rudy’s got loving in her eyes. So, (Oh, Christ!) I should get back on that whole foot situation… Right, Ru-dog? It’s awful. Seriously calling child and family dog services right now. Dog protective services? Yes”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew does not like the fact that Rudy is going to town on Luke’s feet and toes

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew doesn’t like the idea that Luke had of Dazzling Donors could ask to have Andrew watch a video of Rudy licking Luke’s feet and toes

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Luke and Andrew: “Dazzling Donors… donated a dazzling amount of donation… (Hmm) during the TBTL-a-Thon last year”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did that… make it any better? No! Bad stuff!”

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Luke and Andrew: Discussing Colby’s “God Uses Kids”

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Luke and Andrew: “I do not apologize, nor will I apologize, for how good it feels… when that dog is going to work… (Ugh!) on my tootsies (Shush!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke reciting lyrics to ABBA’s “Waterloo”

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Luke and Andrew: Making air horn sounds

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Luke and Andrew: Scoop-pa-dee-poop and Swoop-and-poop

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Luke and Andrew: “See my vest! (Right) See my vest!”

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Luke and Andrew: “There may be a Roku jammed… jammed into the backside of that TV too. (Mmm) It’s like… (Wow) I don’t understand… (Probably a better way to say that) Maybe. I mean… (I don’t know for sure) thoughts? Was that too (Oh, ‘Explicit!’) Did that get overly erotic, dog?”

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Luke and Andrew: Trying out some DJ names for Luke

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Luke and Andrew: “While you get that dialed up, I gotta let the dog out. (Who?) I gotta the release the dog from the… house”

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