Clips From TBTL #2384

Luke and Andrew have been thanking and reading and/or playing special messages for Dazzling Donors from last year’s TBTL-a-thon for a couple of weeks; and, TBTL #2384, in a collector’s series, it was my turn to be thanked. The last two times, Luke and Andrew ad-libbed my Dazzling Donor messages and I opted for the same this time around. It was even better with Steve Neuman on the show and jumping into the fun as well.

Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: TBTL Dazzling Donor Message

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Andrew: “Because, basically, we will be canned heat… inside that thing”

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Andrew: “Is the man of the house home?”

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Andrew: “Like to squeeze the soul out of the show”

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Andrew: “Luke, are you getting a little, getting a little whiff of the RV on that one?”

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Andrew: Making a laser sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound #2

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “No!!! Shut it down, America!”

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Andrew: “That’s gonna come back to, to haunt me”

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Andrew: “Umm, I don’t know why… I cared”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? I’ll let Linh tell me what it sounds like. I’m not taking it from you today. Fair enough.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were drankgry? I was… maybe mostly drangry”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Have you ever done this sober? No. No! No!! God, no! That’s just wrong.”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: “Burbank residence. Is that how we answer the phone now?”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: Carey usually laughs when she’s on a carnival ride and will laugh at Luke if he’s on it as well

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Carey Burbank, Andrew and Luke: “What a way to go, right!? No!! You’re having fun, right? (No) No, you’re not having fun when your body is, is breaking into a million pieces on top of the ticket hut.”

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Luke: “A five dollar Friday edition… of the program that might just be Too Beautiful To Live!”

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Luke: “He’s the Pham, he’s the Pham-nary in the coal mine”

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Luke: “Hey, Linh! There’s a new thing you like less than Super Pham!”

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Luke: “I don’t like to use this word; I was even hangry”

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Luke: “If this breaks loose, we are dead. D-E-D”

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Luke: “Linh… Pham, our Super Pham! I think it hates it when I say that; but… that’s not gonna stop me. Hasn’t stopped me yet.”

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Luke: “Maria Bamford is one of, one of y’all. Is ‘Y’all’ the wrong term?”

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Luke: “MSNBC and Chill”

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Luke: “Save it. Save it for the show. Share it with the Tens of listeners.”

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Luke: “So, Andrew, ad-lib something funny about Linh Pham and his Marsupial Gurgle site”

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Luke: “The crazy part is: What. I’m. Saying. Right. Now. Will. Be. A drop on Marsupial Gurgle.”

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Luke: “Wait a second!”

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Luke: “Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second”

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Luke: “We’d like to… welcome new sponsor, Surly Brewing Company”

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Luke: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… whoa. Whoa. Whoa.”

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Luke: “Will you do me a kindness?”

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Luke: “‘Woo’ Tang, baby. She rocks the world”

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Luke: “You never go full y’all”

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Luke: “You’ve all heard about it. You all know about it. All the kids are talking about it.”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Can you imagine a festival for roadies, put together (by roadies) by carnies”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Steve Neuman: “But now that people are… falling out of the ferris wheel in Port Townsend, I think you see my point, right? No, I don’t. I don’t see it at all, actually. That was not the answer that Luke wanted. Oh, by the way, hi Carey, it’s Stu from Internet. Oh, hi, Stu-bot.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: Doo-oh vs Dye-oh

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Steve Neuman: “Yeah, there’s not a lot of metaphor in Toby Keith songs”

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Steve Neuman: “Your honky-tonk ba-donk-a-donk”

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Steve Neuman, Andrew and Luke: “I think you muted me. I’m sorry, what were you saying? Get the hint, Stu.”

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Steve Neuman, Luke and Andrew: Andrew threw shade on Black Sabbath by saying it wasn’t Rock ‘n’ Roll

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Clips From TBTL #2383: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “All roads lead to something extremely horrible”

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Luke: “America, fuck yeah”

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Luke: “Aw, shit”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: Doing the airplane pilot spiel with an accent that sounds like Bill Clinton

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Luke: “First, though, we must say hello to this guy. He came here to Minnesota… to chew bubble gum… and raise money for public radio. And, he is all out of bubble gum.”

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Luke: “I know you were worried about the ‘Fart Locker’, but do not underestimate the power of the ‘Crock Locker’!”

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Luke: “I logged in as Dr. Burbank”

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Luke: “I’ve been feeling a little funny since yesterday, a little shortness of breath. Everybody relax.”

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Luke: Saying “Power bye!” in an Australian accent

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Luke: “Stop the show!!”

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Luke: “Take… the cannoli!!”

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Luke: “The Dingus Crown Affair”

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Luke: “This is stopping me in my tracks… my stinky, stinky tracks.”

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Luke: “Well, let’s start building it back up… with a Thursday afternoon edition of TBTL… the show that might just be Too Beautiful To Live (This is special! This is special!!)”

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Luke: “Who are you?”

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Luke: “You haven’t met my vinegar dogs”

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Luke: “You may have ACME Roller Skate Bomb Syndrome”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, thanks everybody for listening! Sorry… we’ll do better (For everything) tomorrow. Yeah. Maybe. Can we redo the show?”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, do you go with The Netherlands, do you go with Holland, (I say) the Dutch? I say The Ukraine. The Ukraine. Good spoof.”

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Luke and Andrew: “How dare you. Not without the harp!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m not sure what the Australian money looks like at this point. I assume it’s a picture of Paul Hogan… Oh my God. How do we have any Australian listeners left? After… after imitations of the Australian accent… Power bye!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke stopped himself, and had a pained look on his face, when talking about the use of the Doctor honorific

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Luke and Andrew: “That became even more insulting than I thought it was going to. Well, I got a cruel streak in me, don’t I?”

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Luke and Andrew: “This would be the most downloaded episode of TBTL (It would be pretty big) if I expired (Gonna keep on scaring you now) during the recording. Wait… (Bah!) I, I don’t have a the hiccups… I dunno. I have allergies (Oh, shoot)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, I’m trying to think of the upside, I guess it’s just… I become, I become just king of TBTL. But, who becomes Nu-Andrew? If I die from Nu-monia, who becomes Nu-Andrew?”

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Clips From TBTL #2383: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “Burr-rurr Rey… [ph] I just did it so bad!”

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Andrew: “Can we pretend this is better?”

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Andrew: “Come on Luke, give it to us”

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Andrew: “Douche move, man”

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Andrew: “Her name was Nu-Prof”

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Andrew: “Hey, Facebook”

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Andrew: “I actually like… The Dingus”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if I look distracted to you or not. I need to be a hundred percent honest with you… I’m trying to follow these stories, and I’m not joking, seventy-eight percent of my brain, right now, is still trying to come up with a better title for this segment. I’m not kidding.”

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Andrew: “I guess I’m just being stupid”

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Andrew: “I know it’s not about slavery. Whatever”

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Andrew: “If you, if you donate during the TBTL-a-thon, Luke might live”

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Andrew: “Is there a chance that you’re allergic to work?”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Little Lukie”

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Andrew: “My first socks”

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Andrew: “Now you’re doing an imitation of me, and I resent that!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “The Kings of Studio P-on?”

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Andrew: “The Nobel Yokels”

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Andrew: “The Royal Report!”

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Andrew: “Wait!”

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Andrew: “What have we done!?”

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Andrew: “Whatever”

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Andrew: “Why ya doing this?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you on some sort of medication that is making everything sound like a show title? Possibly”

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Andrew and Luke: “I said I was gonna stop doing that! I like it. Did you hear that laugh, Andrew? That was genuine. That was genuine.”

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Andrew and Luke: Pneumonia vs Nu-monia

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Clips From TBTL #2382

Andrew: “Amy is just… whiz-bang!”

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Andrew: “Corny time here”

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Andrew: “Don’t get my little jape stuck in your head”

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Andrew: Groaning

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Andrew: “Hi Luke!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if we have a lot of room in our schedule to, to bro down with our bro…homies here”

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Andrew: “I hope you find yourself on a Delta 757 dash something, something, something”

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Andrew: “I was like, I was clinging to those cards like it was a skating rink and they were the wall”

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Andrew: “It was… so embarrassing; you should have heard me… Amy will never, ever put me on the air after hearing that.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Yeah, right”

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Andrew: “My voice was trembling! My voice was trembling!!”

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Andrew: “No! Holy crap! It’s all coming back to me, guys!”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho, I’m sorry!”

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Andrew: Saying “Can’t get there from here… Going back to the screws!” in a manner of the Pepperidge Farm guys

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Andrew: Singing “So you like Crocs on your feet”

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Andrew: “So, I, I don’t… you know, want her to hear this and think that she, she did something… that’s gonna scar me forever”

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Andrew: “Sounds like baseball used to be fun”

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Andrew: “Stupid! Stupid!”

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Andrew: “Technically, by the way, that whole thing would be called a, ‘Plastic, oh no!'”

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Andrew: “They are things that I have never, ever, urh-ver, nurh-ver [ph] searched before”

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Andrew: “Watch out Vinegar Doggies! We got a new sponsor in the pipeline”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I don’t like that you call your microphone a French tickler. Okay. You know what, I’m cutting, I’m cutting it off. I’m cutting this line of spoofing off, right now. I’m sorry. Alright, that’s fair.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Geez, Louise! (Oof!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “The Burbank… (Yes) of Luke Burbank fame”

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Andrew, Luke and Steve Neuman: Luke cut Andrew off mid-joke to tell another joke just for Steve

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Luke: “And I… am… loving it, Jerry!!!”

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Luke: “Being cute doesn’t mean you can get up on my stage… guys”

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Luke: “He is the Stu-bot!!!”

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Luke: “He used the wrong apron”

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Luke: “Hey, yo! What the hell!!?”

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Luke: “I don’t read good”

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Luke: “If ya nasty”

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Luke: “We’d like to thank new sponsor, Trivago”

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Luke: “We’d like to welcome new sponsor Minnesota Public Radio to the show”

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Luke: “You’re doing this all wrong, Burbank”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did you fix Amy’s phone (No, no, no) in Chicago? Emphasis on attempt.”

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Luke and Steve Neuman: “Do you mess with that Zumba? I don’t mess with that Zumba”

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Steve Neuman: “I got a leg day, I got a pull day, I got a push day, and I got a core day, Luke.”

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Steve Neuman: “I’m sore as hell!”

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Steve Neuman: “It’s this lifestyle podcast about air travel and crippling self-doubt. You’ll love it.”

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Steve Neuman: “Piper hates Bobby Pape too, so it’s kind of… it’s difficult”

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Steve Neuman: Saying “See, if you get to the garage, you’ve gone too far” with a Minnesotan accent

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Steve Neuman: “The Suite Life of Andrew?”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “But, we are gonna talk about it. But, goddamn it, we’re gonna talk about this.”

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Clips From TBTL #2381

Luke had a little bit of fun emulating the Rainier Beer and BSB adverts where the names are said in a manner that replicates the sound of a car’s engine going through it’s rev range, letting off for a gear shift and revving back up again.

Luke: Saying “Living Colour” in a manner of a car engine revving and shifting

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Luke: Saying “Mike McGann” in a manner of a car engine revving and shifting

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Luke: Saying “Rainier Beer” in a manner of a car engine revving and shifting, and then saying “God, that’s a long thirty seconds”

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Andrew: “Also, I’d like to thank After These Messages for sponsoring today’s TBTL”

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Andrew: “And, God, did I get in my head over that, man!”

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Andrew: “But, Lord, Luke, look at this world we live in”

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Andrew: Drawn out “B-S-B”

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Andrew: Funny Sound

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Andrew: Having a good laugh

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Andrew: “¡Hola, el Presidente!”

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Andrew: “I am the face… of your victims”

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Andrew: “I don’t know”

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Andrew: “I mean, I guess I’m a snowflake and all of that anyway”

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Andrew: “I was writing down, ‘Cult de Sac of Personality'”

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Andrew: “It was the blurst of times!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God dang it!”

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Andrew: Snorting and laughing

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Andrew: “Well, I will say special thanks to Vinegar Dogs for supporting today’s episode of TBTL”

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Andrew: “Yeah, donate to TBTL, submit a message, and we’ll just… lightly link you… to all kinds of war crimes and atrocities”

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Andrew and Luke: “Here, I want to thank Steve Bony 2012. It was a Kony 2012 joke. I just spit coffee back in my cup. Now I can’t drink it. I hope you’re happy.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’d like to thank Alaska for sponsoring this episode of TBTL (Absolutely)”

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Andrew and Luke: “We’d like to thank Lenovo and Apple for sponsoring the show (Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You went by ‘Even Strite’ [ph] right? Oh… Wait, whoa, now we’ve… Never mind. Nope. Nope. Don’t. Okay.”

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Luke: “And I had just, for some bananas reason”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Having a good laugh

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Luke: “I looked over at my wife’s computer yesterday and… (That’s my woife!) saw something very troubling. I’ll explain what it was; and, how you can avoid such a thing”

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Luke: “I’m so sorry I was talking to you like a normal”

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Luke: “It was once referred to as my ‘vinegar dogs'”

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Luke: “No relation to the infamous German war criminal… as far as we know”

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “Oh, man”

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Luke: “We may get into a triple dukes situation”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke: “Yadda, yadda, yadda, fish sandwich”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, I’m about to buy these Crocs. This is how it happens, Andrew… Right now, you’re with me in the moment of buying something… I want no, I want no part of this. Can we get to e-mails?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Go UM-Dub. It’s Mary Wash!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I wanna play a little guessing game (Mmm-kay)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Kind of a… you know, a shell on the beach that we can hermit crab into with totally unrelated topics. That’s a good analogy! Thanks, I finally got one in (It’s cozy)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let me just… float this little, tiny Charlotte Web’s… baby off in the distance of this show. We have a way with words”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing the word “Crocs” to the Doogie Howser theme and Andrew saying “Love it”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is legal cover for, for what you did to me last… What I did to you”

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Luke and Andrew: “What is happening dude? Hey, a moment on the lips”

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Clips From TBTL #2380

Andrew: “But, I mean, there is something… about… the soul… of the guitar… in Stranglehold”

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Andrew: “But, you’re screwed”

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Andrew: “I am exactly like other guys”

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Andrew: “I know you… and, I know me. I would do the same thing”

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Andrew: “I-If-If it had a spoiler… like that would be a party in the back… of that ugly, stupid Chevy”

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Andrew: “Is the technical word: scam?”

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Andrew: “It sounds dirty”

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Andrew: “It was a hard year for me”

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Andrew: “Jesus!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Yeah, right”

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Andrew: Party in the Front, Useful in the Back

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Andrew: “Ping!”

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Andrew: Saying “Put on this, like, finger-wagging thing!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “So many things to be afraid of”

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Andrew: “That’s so damn perfect”

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Andrew: “There are fifteen Burbanks circling the beach party! We recommend you move the party somewhere else!”

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Andrew: “This is so irresponsible”

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Andrew: “We need a brain doctor!”

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Andrew: “We’re really missing the ball here. Phyllis, could you edit those shows for us?”

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Andrew: “Wow! Because… Oh, wow! Wow!! All I can say is, ‘Wow!'”

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Andrew: “Yes! Yes!! Damnit! Write that on a piece of paper and hold it up to the microphone”

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Andrew: “Yes! Yes!! Of cour–Why did you let go on that whole ‘License to Drive’ thing!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “How about this. I’m gonna draw it on a piece of paper and hold it up to the microphone. Perfect. Okay. Oh my God, that is genius! Thank you!!”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke reacts to a “Surprise Jock Inspection” clip

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Luke: Describing the brain process and result of using the “Doctor” honorific in a hotel reservation form

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Luke: “Do we… do we celebrate… Nugent-level tools?”

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Luke: “Ha!”

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Luke: “It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is some ice”

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Luke: Laughing and clapping his hands

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Luke: “Put on a pair of shoes!!”

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “So much… so much to unpack!”

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Luke: “So, here’s the thing”

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Luke: “There’s a press release!!?”

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Luke: “When… will Spring ever come to the Pacific Northwest, I am not sure”

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Luke: “You know what? We’ll leave that to the lawyers.”

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Luke: “Zero brarks given… I think is a promise I can make”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just walked on a… ton of broken glass. Why do you keep doing that, Luke? Well, they had, you know, Annie Lennox told me to”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you think this is one of my more embarrassing things, listener? You have no idea what my real life looks like. Have you seen the laser helmet, my friend?”

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Luke and Andrew: “There is something about the soul of a Cat Scratch Fever. That’s so damn perfect”

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