Clips From TBTL #2271

Nick Jarin’s “Keys to the Show” Intro

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Andrew: “Amazing!”

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Andrew: “Apparently, one of us is an asshole”

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Andrew: “Because, what we’re gonna find out is that you’re a good friend, and I’m awful.”

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Andrew: “Boom!”

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Andrew: “Boom!” #2

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Andrew: “Boom! Big Henry!”

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Andrew: “But, I, I don’t live with a lot of FOMO”

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Andrew: “Cat fight!”

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Andrew: Deflated “No”

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Andrew: “Don’t you worry about my undergarments”

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Andrew: Drawn out “I’ll take it”

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Andrew: “Emma Watson is just an idea to me. I don’t think I’ve even seen her in a movie.”

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Andrew: “Gurl!”

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Andrew: “Have you and I ever talked on the phone… ever?!!”

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Andrew: “He’s so… G-d talented, man!”

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Andrew: “I can’t remember what we’ve talked about on this show”

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Andrew: “I didn’t like the end”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what’s going on!”

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Andrew: “I guess”

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Andrew: “I like that action!”

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Andrew: “I love what a disaster this intro already is”

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Andrew: “I now have adult onset hangovers”

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Andrew: “I’ll allow it!”

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Andrew: “I’m more, we’ve tried to hash it on the show, I’m more like: Fear of Missing ‘Murder, She Wrote'”

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Andrew: “It’s so good, Nick! It’s so good!”

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Andrew: “Just filling a slanket with my farts”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: Laughing #5

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Andrew: Laughing #6

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “No, no! I didn’t mean it that way.”

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Andrew: “Never!!”

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Andrew: “No! It’s so crazy!”

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Andrew: “Okily dokily here”

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Andrew: “Really?”

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Andrew: Saying “Ford” in “Wallingford” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “You’d be prettier if you smiled a little bit” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “Friends forever”

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Andrew: “That’s Big Henry”

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Andrew: “The photo is… amazing!”

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Andrew: “Welcome to day two of Lukeless in Seattle”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “What!!? Really!?”

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Andrew: “Why talk to my therapist about it, that’s why I got you guys for. Hey, everybody!”

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Andrew: “You gotta open up a bit, gurl!”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “And, I assumed that you… I assumed that you assumed that Hillary Clinton would win the election… Yeah.”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Listeners love it when I say the word, ‘colleague’ (Mmm)”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “People on this show know that I have the cultural literacy of an ant. Mmm-hmm. An ant, that lived… I don’t know.”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “She may or may not be in this–Schrödinger’s Watson, is what it is. Can we write that as a show title, Schrödinger’s Watson? (Schrödinger’s Watson? I love that)”

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: The Greatest Generation is a great name for a good podcast

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Andrew and Nick Jarin: “Would you say that he rules the school? He rules the school with his bestie”

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Nick Jarin: “I am the professional in the room, in this case”

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Nick Jarin: “I feel like we would do decent on ‘The Newlywed Show,’ except we’ve never made whoopie.”

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Nick Jarin: “Just look at this fucking guy”

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Nick Jarin: Laughing

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Nick Jarin: “So, really, that was ‘E’? Answer E: Filling a slanket with farts?”

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Nick Jarin: “What was I thinking? I can’t wait to get out of here!”

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: Andrew cracking up while Nick is spoofing about the Seahawks

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: “Are doing okay? (I, I…) Do you need to see a therapist? No! It’s so crazy!”

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Nick Jarin and Andrew: “I’m just going ahead and break the fourth wall: why do you guys let him do this? They don’t have a choice… Luke’s gone.”

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Clips From TBTL #2270

Andrew: “Ah, you don’t even know the half of it. We’re just getting started!”

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Andrew: “Anders with a hard ‘awn’ [ph]

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Andrew: “But, I am to that point in the intro where I am sick of my own voice”

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Andrew: “Don’t look! Don’t look!”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: “Eh, sounds reasonable. You know, can’t trust the Stu-bot”

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Andrew: “For better or for worse. For better or for worse.”

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Andrew: Hesitation Sound

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Andrew: “Hey, how about those Seahawks? Who would-a guessed a blow out, or something like that.”

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Andrew: “His name is Stu, the Stu-bot, Neuman. I am gonna warn you, he’s coming in hot today, guys.”

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Andrew: “I am becoming the biggest, like, Live Wire groupie”

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Andrew: “I can’t talk to you right now! I’m taping the game!”

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Andrew: “I often get butt-dials from Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “I shouldn’t make too light of this; but, I probably will”

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Andrew: “I was up all, all last night, working on that, that dumbass mixtape that I keep on saying that I’m gonna post on SoundCloud”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna say that you were Stu-bot on the spot there”

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Andrew: “‘I’m mixing fat beats, Genevieve.’ And she’s like, ‘No really, what are you doing?’ I’m like, ‘I’m mixing fat beats, Genevieve.’ There’s no, there’s no better way to put it.”

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Andrew: “It’s gonna be an interesting No Point Conversion, folks. It’s gonna be a lot different, I think.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Love that man!”

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Andrew: “Luke Burbank does not take no for an answer”

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Andrew: Luke made it on to his cruise and Andrew gets to wear the hero’s cape

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Andrew: “My name is Andrew Walsh; and, I’m hosting the dang podcast this week”

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Andrew: “Oh, God, I can’t remember”

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Andrew: “Oh, God. I already hate this song.”

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Andrew: Quiet “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: Singing “Anyone can see”

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Andrew: “Tell me everything about this Pod-dog”

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Andrew: “That was my power out on that story”

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Andrew: “This is the time where we thank our Merle Haggard, If We Make It Through December level donors of the day”

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Andrew: “What the hyuuuuh!”

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Andrew: “‘You don’t work on the show.’ And, I’m like, ‘Yeah, I know. But, you guys are fun.'”

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Andrew and Piper Neuman: “Piper! I wanna start by saying, I’m, I’m the one who likes you. I’m not (Yes) mortal enemy. Okay, do we have that established? Yes.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Andrew is always threatening Genevieve with palimony

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Andrew plays a Chopped and Screwed version of “It’s Your Birthday”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “I dunno, it’s a pretty thin show today; but… Thanks, man! Sure, no problem.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Luke and Carey are indebted to Andrew for helping with Luke forgetting his passport

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Remember: No mountain too tall, and good luck to Walsh”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Simmer down, Stu! Jesus God!”

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Steve Neuman: Chuckling

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Steve Neuman: “I pick up your poop!”

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Steve Neuman: “I think the name of the boat is Norovirus II”

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Steve Neuman: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Piper. I’m trying to delete it.”

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Steve Neuman: “Just, you know, check in with the people and the Andrew”

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Steve Neuman: “Let’s do this”

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Steve Neuman: “My God!”

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Steve Neuman: “No, God no!”

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Steve Neuman: “Nothing, nothing matters, Andrew. Nothing ever matters.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: Andrew saying “Awwwww!” while Steve is saying “I am now sc–I’m scratching the back of her back here to get her to quit whining”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “From go bag to no bag… There you go. (Thank you. Thank you) The Luke Burbank Story”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “His backup quarterback just got knocked the fuck out during a game, and… We don’t swear on this podcast anymore. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Piper. I’m trying to delete it.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Is it about robots? It’s about robutts [ph]

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Often times worse, but sometimes better. Thank you. Thank you.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: Steve Neuman was wrong about Al Franken had something to do with a movie and wanted it stricken from the record

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “You kick a ball into a net and then you pretend that you’re hurt. I think that’s the general… Wait, who’s Annette? Hey-oh! Classic soccer joke. I love that one.”

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Clips From TBTL #2269

Andrew: “Fart”

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Andrew: “His tone is awful! His tone is awful.”

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Andrew: “I didn’t ask!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Oh, no”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Right, right, right”

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Andrew: “Sorry, I just gotta scratch this itch”

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Andrew: “Whatever every other goddamn celebrity in the world has done since the beginning of time”

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Andrew: “You know what, this is the Chopped and Screwed version”

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Andrew and Luke: “Boom! (Yeah…) We got (Got it) there!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I love living in this day and age. That makes one of us”

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Andrew and Luke: Imitation of a Lavalier Microphone

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Andrew and Luke: Really Hot Mic

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Andrew and Luke: “Smokey the Bear hat, target on your back”

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Andrew and Luke: “That sounds like a bad microphone idea. New show segment! That sounds like a bad microphone idea.”

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Andrew and Luke: “They will be Luke-less, unfortunately. Lukels-less… Lukeless in Seattle”

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Luke: “Again, I’m not a star-head”

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Luke: “As opposed to drinking the blood of people who’ve committed crimes”

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Luke: “Damn, hell and fart”

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Luke: Drawn out “Wow”

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Luke: “Have we met before?”

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Luke: “I weep for you”

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Luke: “Like, the fact that I don’t know how deep the bottom of our swimming pool is”

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Luke: “Lukie B!”

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Luke: “Music Court”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I’m your slightly froggy host”

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Luke: “Oh, God. Please, no.”

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Luke: Saying “Oh yeah, your cousin Kel, she’s a good lawyer. A real good lawyer” in a funny accent

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Luke: “That’s how you let the beat build… bitch”

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Luke: “Today, we want to honor our Ringo Starr, I’m The Greatest, level donors of the day”

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Luke: “You look like a Music Court came to life!”

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Luke: “You ready for a third, third not interesting thing, Andrew? But, wait, there’s more! If you call right now, you’ll get a third uninteresting observation from me.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, I have so many thoughts in my head right now, none of them are interesting. Which one do you want me to start with? I guess the, like, whatever one is like completely in the middle of interestingness. Like, the median.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I would describe his stuff as nar’redic [ph]. I was gonna say, what are the vibes? Illest. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ll allow it! Okay”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like a mocker. Like a mocker. That’s how I spent my time: being a mocker and being a nodder.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Like, I think ‘shit’ exists at the absolutely lowest level of swearing; like… No, ‘damn’ does. Okay, fine, good point, but, but… Hell. I don’t think of ‘hell’ as a swear word. Fart.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mousy brown-haired girl (Really)”

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Luke and Andrew: Thank yooz

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Luke and Andrew: “Walshki, I’m making an executive decision, I hope that’s alright. Yeah, what is it?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You couldn’t say ‘shit’ on the CBS Evening News, I’ve tried. And… But, CBS Sunday Morning… Those damn, hell, farts at the network won’t let me. Sorry, that’s a pretty good spoof. Thanks, bud. I like that I can still, still make you laugh all these years later. Those damn, hell farts at the network”

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Clips From TBTL #2268

Andrew: “Am I gonna… flaunt these?”

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Andrew: “Are they just like putting ‘Copyright, What The Fuck Ever’?”

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Andrew: “Do you want to see my Chinese bootleg?”

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Andrew: “I assume you have a hickey”

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Andrew: “I hate Saturns!”

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Andrew: “I have no idea what my plan was; and, whatever it was, it was stupid. Somebody just told on me.”

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Andrew: “I have so many nuts to name!”

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Andrew: “I just got the worst of both worlds”

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Andrew: “I think you and I are both the kind of person who can’t say off once it enters our brain”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Make Out King Luke Burbank strikes again!”

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Andrew: “No!”

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Andrew: “Not yet!”

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Andrew: “Oh, crap, that is Andrew! He’s a crybaby, douchebag! Tell him to get over it, he voted for a loser!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Some bear wore this hat”

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Andrew: “Transliteration is the conversion of text from one script to another. For instance, Latin transliteration of the Greek phrase… Okay, then I can’t pronounce any of it, because it’s different letters.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew laughing and Luke saying “Idiot!”

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Andrew and Luke: “B-whoooo! Yeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Blue. Ha!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Caulk, C-A-U-L-K. But, that sounds like a different word! I had no… Have you had your second kiss yet? Not yet! Anything on your mind? Why, what’s, what’s with the breath spray, my friend? Hold on. Oh, man… that went way down… That was too much. I flew, I flew too close to the sun on that one.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Spray into a Binanca! [sic] (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: “TBTL is like a good mattress, it puts you to sleep. That’s exactly right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That was a pretty good mouth blast at the beginning of the show that you did. How about the Binaca, was that good too?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wait a second, you know what? That’s right, the first time I kissed a girl (Yeah… you were), I was huffing. (That’s right) That’s right. And, it wasn’t a girl, it was a mop. That’s right, it was Big Henry.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, so your ship has come in, huh? Your fresh, your minty, fresh ship has come in. Yep!”

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Luke: “#LowCarbLife”

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Luke: “Ah, still got it. Still got it.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Do not take away my alcohol carbs”

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Luke: “Don’t mess with me. I’m hooked up on Binaca Blast right now.”

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Luke: “Friday can’t come soon enough for you, my friends”

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Luke: “I basically, just, pepper-sprayed myself”

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Luke: “I just jammed this breath spray deep in my mouth; and, then, just like, ‘Hey dude, do you want some?'”

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Luke: “I would… probably, instinctively, not tell Carey about it; because, my thought would be, that would freak her chili”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Laughing and Clapping

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Luke: “Oh, man… that went way down… That was too much. I flew, I flew too close to the sun on that one.”

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Luke: Saying “‘ello, what’s this?” with a Cockney accent

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Luke: Singing “Go to sleep, little Andy”

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Luke: “This is such a long climb for a short slide”

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Luke: “You have to leave, this is the women’s bathroom.”

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Luke: “You know, Reggie Jackson, or Carl Weathers, or… Idiot!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And now you can kiss her, dude. You gotta kiss her! (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Luke playing the “Carl’s World” drop

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Luke and Andrew: Binaca x Star Trek

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, I was the only kid who was using Binaca Blast as a way to freshen one’s breath. Yeah, you were the, you were the make out king, right?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can you do me one kindness? Yeah, of course.”

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Luke and Andrew: Carey asked Luke if he was allergic to flushing the toilet

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Luke and Andrew: Make Out King Luke Burbank

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Luke and Andrew: Naming Nuts

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Luke and Andrew: “Stop guessing Burbank, stop guessing. Let’s not ask each other”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, a moment on the lips, (Right) a lifetime (Right) on the… wait!? (I dunno)”

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Clips From TBTL #2267

Andrew: Aggressively asking for some money

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Andrew: “All of my shit is out there”

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Andrew: “Boom, boom, boom”

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Andrew: “C-H-3-3-S?”

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Andrew: “CH33SE STK”

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Andrew: “Come on, I’m done dunning you people!”

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Andrew: “Hey, ya dummy!”

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Andrew: “How do you make crystal meth?”

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Andrew: “I like to add syllables”

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Andrew: “My bo-ody”

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Andrew: “No offense, Jimmy!”

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Andrew: Saying “Does anybody remember laughter?” in a squeaky falsetto

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Andrew: Singing “Hey, Andrew. I love y–“

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, we are gonna put an ‘E’ at the end of ‘CH33SE'”

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Andrew: “The ‘Something Something and The Wallingford Rambles,’ I assume…”

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Andrew: “Wow! Wow!!”

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Andrew: “You too [sic]

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Andrew: “Yuppers, buppers”

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Andrew and Luke: “Alright, I’ll go with that. I’ll allow it (Cool)”

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Andrew and Luke: “And usually (Ah) when you’re talking, I’m just looking for things on Facebook”

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Andrew and Luke: “Carl Weathers (He’s a Carl Weathers.)  Say it, say it my way!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t like that language, Jimmy. I don’t appreciate that tone! No, nor do I. Nor do I!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Swell it a little bit here, give us a little bit more. Give us that thick beat. Gross. What? You make the song sound gross.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Unfair! Sad! Sad!”

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Andrew and Luke: “You and I like to pick nits together, so… Nobody likes to picking nits like (Yeah, yeah) you and me.”

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Luke: “BTDubs”

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Luke: “C-H-3-3-S-E S-T-K”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Do you have a Google Alert set up for my name!?”

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Luke: “Goddamn it!”

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Luke: “He captures the grace and power of the tall ships, day in and day out, here as the Hodor of podcasting”

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Luke: “I think this might be my yearly losing my voice”

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Luke: “I’m actually on cheese stick, which is not some new street drug. It’s just the thing I just ate. Although, cheese stick wouldn’t be a bad name for a street drug. I’m on cheese stick, I’m on some peppered turkey.”

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Luke: “Luke, I’m stunned”

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Luke: “No-o-o-o, my friend”

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Luke: “Oh, Andrew”

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Luke: “Per usual”

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Luke: “Por ejemplo”

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Luke: Pronouncing “The Eagles” in an interesting way

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Luke: Singing “He Done Done”

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Luke: “That’s been bothering me for three days”

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Luke: “That’s, that’s, that’s new, that’s hip. That’s what the kids are doing.”

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Luke: “The Flickr of cheese stick. Well, you could call it Cheese Stickr.”

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Luke: “‘Tis the season for Luke to lose his voice”

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Luke: Vocalizing being shocked or surprised

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Luke: “What!”

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Luke: “You know, that kind of whole, that situation”

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Luke and Andrew: “But, I have a lot of radio shows. You too [sic]. How did I not know that about you?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “The world don’t need another photo sharing…” and Andrew asking “How are you feeling by the way?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, Andrew. Always the team player, Google Alerting my name too (No, no)”

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Luke and Andrew: Porky Pigging It Up

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Luke and Andrew: Skits vs Sketches

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Clips From TBTL #2266

Andrew: “And, I don’t know what the shit this is”

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Andrew: “Beep beep beep”

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Andrew: “But, obviously, that’s a joke on me ‘cuz I’m the one who’s been a big baby about it”

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Andrew: “Carol, hold my calls”

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Andrew: Cat got Andrew’s tongue

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Andrew: Cat got Andrew’s tongue #2

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Andrew: “Clever girl”

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Andrew: “Dr. Mountainstein’s Monster”

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Andrew: “I would go to sleep with the sound of like tow trucks, not tow trucks, like tow motors, or forklifts, as you would call them.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I was this character that was kind of rolling my eyes at Luke”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Pickup”

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Andrew: “Power out”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: Speaking like Pete Carroll

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Andrew: “Straight-up truck”

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Andrew: “That, my friend, was a double whammy of a sentence”

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Andrew: “The Wet Mint Bandits”

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Andrew: “This is not interesting podcast talk; but… you and I… just to tell you, Luke”

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Andrew: “This is sounds [sic] insulting, and I don’t mean it as insulting as it sounds, but I actually think it’s the perfect level of acting for her.”

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Andrew: “To the big stage”

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Andrew: “Unfair! Not fair!”

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Andrew: “Whether it’s caulk, glue or booze, he’s gonna, he’s gonna treat ya sternly”

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Andrew: “Who is this guy?”

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Andrew: “With a, you know, a truck nut joke or two”

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Andrew: “Yeah”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, that’s why I kept on saying, ‘Shut up, dummy, I’m talking!’ (Yeah) every time you (Yeah) got a word in edge-wise. Go back (yeah) to the tape, it’s in there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, just seeing like a ten dollar bill just laying on the pillow just… I dunno, made me feel a little weird, I’m (Services rendered) not gonna lie. Right.”

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Andrew and Luke: “He’s gonna be a real HUD-sucker! Hey-oh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I also think I say ‘continental’ weird. Do I say ‘camera’… Camera. Camera”

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Andrew and Luke: “It was a… pickup truck. I’d (Whoa!) never been picked up in a pickup truck… an Uber pickup truck.”

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Andrew and Luke: Lake Erie Chop and Screw

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Andrew and Luke: Lake Erie Screw Corporation

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s a woman shopper… The shopper was a woman!”

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s a woman shopper… The shopper was a woman! And, that’s why she couldn’t operate… on the rack of lamb.”

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Luke: “And then, the series of unfortunate events”

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Luke: “Because, I have made it such a life goal to try to claw my way, like Gollum, up to first class, to my precious”

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Luke: “By the way, I think that you speak for all the listeners when you say, ‘We’re not gonna do a No Point. Good.'”

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Luke: “Have a couple of adult bevvies. I can’t believe I just said that.”

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Luke: “Holy guacamole”

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Luke: “I win”

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Luke: “I’m calling them our M.I.A., Paper Planes level donors of the day”

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Luke: “I’ve embraced my truckiness”

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Luke: “It just keeps coming”

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Luke: “It’s really a, sort of a ‘Home Alone 3: Par Excellence'”

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Luke: “Keep it together, LB. Keep it together.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “So, all’s well that ends well”

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Luke: “That’s love for you”

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Luke: “Wouldn’t that be cool”

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Luke: “Yes, here I am, don’t worry. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Did the recording work? Yeah. Yeah… (Oh, no!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dude, here’s your glue. I wasn’t trying to steal it. You know, tick it up your butt. And then… And he was prepared to do it from, like, the way he looked. There was, to my knowledge, no coconut.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was either this or SkyJinks level donors of the day. You guys are so lucky. You dodged, you dodged a SkyJinks. You dodged a SkyJink… Woo.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was like a tube of… Something (blue) very personal. Yes, exactly.”

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Luke and Andrew: “She’s like Madonna, (Yeah) but of podcast… She’s more like (Alright) Gadonna… But, yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Slingblading

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