Clips From TBTL #2258: Burbank Springs Edition

Carey Burbank: “Burbanksgiving Champagne Cocktail”

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Carey Burbank: “This makes my family sound shitty”

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Carey Burbank and Genevieve Haas: “No mountain too tall. And, good luck to all.”

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Carey Burbank, Luke and Andrew: “I’m only laughing because you’re okay; and also, because I kept getting the image of, like, on a cartoon when you see the skeleton, like when you’ve been electrocuted. Like a, like a Scooby-Doo electrocution type of situation? Yes. It feels good to laugh.”

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Luke: “Anytime I’m eating, I’m, the crumbs are hitting the floor and that’s Rudy time”

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Luke: “Don’t blame me, I voted for the sand snakes”

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Luke: Giggling like the Pillsbury Doughboy

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Luke: Groaning

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Luke: “Hi there, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Welcome to the TBTL Thanksgiving Special 2016.”

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Luke: “I’m fucking terrified”

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Luke: “I’m gonna turn the fan up a little bit here, because, my bacon project is already going sideways; in that, I completely burned round one”

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Luke: “It’s a real theatre for the mind today”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Like, they’re fifty percent roll, fifty percent butter… one hundred percent bad decision making.”

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Luke: “Okay. So, we’re off to a hot start”

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Luke: Singing “Skillet. Skillets for breakfast. Skillets. Skillet”

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Luke: “The leader of the children. Look out, look out, look out, look out!”

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Luke: “There’s something about the outside of the turkey that’s good for the inside of man. I think that’s…”

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Luke: “Update from my life, I’m mincing garlic against my will over here…”

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Luke: “You know, it’s a holiday, I’m allowed to eat on the show. I just want to say that to everyone who’s mad. I did–I have declared that I’m gonna stop eating on the air.”

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Luke and Andrew: Carey had the hiccups and spilled some Burbanksgiving Cocktail while drinking some

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Luke and Andrew: “I would put olive hand as one of the top ten childhood experiences, right? I didn’t have it, you’ll be surprised to hear.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’ve sorta gone a little off script. I’ve gone rogue. Oh, good.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke may have hallucinated the Denny’s skillets advert

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Luke and Andrew: “The dog just sauntered through and almost dragged the entire operation down. Oh my God. We’re fine. Everything’s good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Update from Burbank Springs: Project Bacon has now started activating the smoke alarm (Oh)”

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Luke and Carey Burbank: Luke’s moment of bliss is tucking away at loads of rolls and mashed potatoes

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Luke and Carey Burbank: “These are your people, this is who you come from. Now, you know how I ended up with you.”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Andrew: “By the way, Carey is laughing her ass off at your misfortune, Andrew. I… have my back turned because… feel terrible… It’s okay.”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Genevieve Haas: Decasing (or unmaking) a sausage is unsettling

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Clips From TBTL #2258: Walsh, Walsh & Doormat Edition

Andrew: “Alright, I’m a baker”

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Andrew: “And, that was my first lesson as a baker”

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Andrew: “And, they were delicious”

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Andrew: Andrew kicked something while moving around and talking

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Andrew: “Come on, guys. I mean, not to start off on such a negative foot; but, I just think we need to be a little bit more socially conscious.”

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Andrew: Got electrocuted while turning on the oven

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Andrew: “Hey, now we’re in Andrew territory, if we’re gonna be talking about cleaning these things”

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Andrew: “Ho, my gosh! That gave me a… well… that gave me a start. Holy crap!”

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Andrew: “I literally, I’m not joking, I just got electrocuted trying to turn on the oven”

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Andrew: “It’s called, ‘the Internet Andrew of Things'”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Maybe, this is an inappropriate question for broadcast; so, we can cut it out if you want”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m scared to bake!”

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Andrew: “Oh, look. This… Luke brought his insecurities again.”

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Andrew: “Rudy!”

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Andrew: Singing “Leave me alone, please go away, I’m doing fine, just get away”

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Andrew: “So, um… seriously guys? Blood oranges… on Thanksgiving?”

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Andrew: “That’s the power of ipDTL right there: Keeping people apart for two years.”

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Andrew: “Wax on, wax off”

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Andrew: “You saved Thanksgiving, I almost ruined it.”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: “Hey! You can just let go and let, let Andrew. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.”

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Andrew and Carey Burbank: “Wow. (Yeah) Well, it’s perfect. You guys are perfect for each other then.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke Burbank, the First, leader of the children. The leader of the children. Look out, look out, look out, look out!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, that’s, that’s the sound of chocolate chips, by the way… (Ooh!) if you’re salivating.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Skillet. Skillets for breakfast. (Skillet) I don’t think that’s how the song goes. Skillets for breakfast.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yeah, I got nothing. Let’s wrap this up… (I’m back) Good luck to all!”

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Andrew, Luke, Genevieve Haas and Carey Burbank: Andrew got electrocuted when he tried to turn on the oven

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Andrew, Genevieve Haas and Carey Burbank: “Wait, I already made a mistake. What did I do wrong? You need to pack, pack it into the cup. Do you think that’s enough? Oh, shit! (No, no…)”

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Andrew, Genevieve Haas and Luke: Stuffing vs Dressing

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Genevieve Haas: “I feel like I’m cooking with Mr. Bean in here”

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Genevieve Haas: “It’s very Martha Stewart in here”

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Genevieve Haas: “This is a weird bit; but, you know, I don’t really listen to the shows, so…”

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Genevieve Haas and Luke: Baking and TBTL are more chemistry than artistry”

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Genevieve Haas and Luke: “The call is coming from inside the oven. Can you… Possible show title”

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Clips From TBTL #2257

Andrew: “Booger archive”

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Andrew: “End of story”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, no”

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Andrew: Laughing in the background

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Andrew: “New, fresh, hot from the oven”

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Psych!”

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Andrew: “Really?”

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Andrew: Singing “Just the three of us”

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Andrew: “TBTL is glue machines”

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Andrew: “There aren’t enough fake turkey gobbles in the world to wash that from my brain!”

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Andrew: “This is special!”

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Andrew: “What’s the advantage?”

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Andrew: “You know we’re gonna get fired, right?”

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Andrew: “You’re the cleanup man. You’re the wolf. You’re the Harvey Keitel.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey m– Okay, I’m better. Hi, Luke. (Turkey got your throat?) I had a little something in my throat.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I wear… flip-fops. I don’t go… bareback into those things; but, still… I thought you had gotten the nose up on that being kind of a weird, borderline, sexual reference; and, then, you just got the nose back down.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s why they call me Digi. Nobody calls you Digi. And, if they did, that’s not why.”

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Andrew and Luke: The Expanded Burbank Thanksgiving Universe

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Andrew and Luke: “These, these so-called people that you’re talking about, they’re not… These alleged humans”

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Andrew and Luke: “You like sparkling cider? I don’t, but the little kids like to pretend that they’re drunk.”

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Luke: “Amtrak: We Let You Bring Your Shampoo”

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Luke: “And occasionally, we have our day brightened by the people who suppose this show. We’d like to thank our Gobble-gobble, Zapp and Roger, Computer Love, level donors of the day”

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Luke: “And the name of the text chain is, ‘Gobble Gobble'”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Digi’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Asking for trouble there, Shkreli”

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Luke: “But, Andrew”

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Luke: “Guuaahh!!! Andrew!”

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Luke: “Hello!”

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Luke: “I don’t know, Andrew, what’s going on!”

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Luke: Imitating the Instant Gobble sound

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “LOL”

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Luke: “My dad’s losing his damn mind, over here”

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Luke: “Oh, I see!”

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Luke: “Pyschs-giving!”

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Luke: “Really?”

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Luke: “Relax and chill, dudes”

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Luke: “Relax… and chill, dudes”

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Luke: Singing “Just hold on, I’m coming home”

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Luke: “Then my mom, ‘Luke hates Costco (double exclamation point)'”

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Luke: “Things have gone completely off the rails”

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Luke: “Where have you been, Daddy-O?”

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Luke: “You know what? Relax and chill, everybody; as a wise man, Walter Burbank, once said in a text message chain.”

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Luke and Andrew: Burbank family obsession with Costco

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Luke and Andrew: “Have you ever taken an ice bath…? No, I haven’t. It looks horrible!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I respond to my mom, ‘Mom, (all caps) I will get it’ (Uh-oh)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m not gonna make it out of this metal whirlpool. I gotta drain the main vein in here, you know I’m saying? (Oh-hohohohohoho) You don’t buy the beer, Andrew, you just rent it. I like the way you talk.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke had to demonstrate for his previous dog, Momo

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Luke and Andrew: Luke will sometimes pee in the backyard at Burbank Springs

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Luke and Andrew: “Your emotions got away from you, as per usual. My emotions, as per usual, got away from me”

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Clips From TBTL #2256

Andrew: “Alli-oops”

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Andrew: “Bated dragon breath”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Come on!”

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Andrew: “Croissant”

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Andrew: “Don’t finish that sentence”

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Andrew: “Dude, you’re getting a Dell”

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Andrew: Garbled “Implicitly”

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Andrew: “Going insane… I seriously am!”

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Andrew: “He’s a great dentist!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what I’m looking at! Never show a man his computer mid-surgery!”

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Andrew: “I just opened my mouth and made this sound”

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Andrew: “I shoulda taken it there. Shoulda taken it there.”

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Andrew: “I’ll never work in this town again. It’s all over!”

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Andrew: “In doing so, I’ll have to list a bunch of gross things; and then, I’ll gross myself out.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “What are you doing?”

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Andrew: Laughing to a clip being played

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Andrew: “Obviously just done, just freaking done with this situation!”

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Andrew: “Obviously, there’s a time in my career when I would’ve just flipped my shit about that; like, I would just been like ‘I’ll never work in this town again. It’s all over!'”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “You’re not gonna like this”

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Andrew: “Shaken, Kevin Bacon”

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Andrew: Speaking gibberish in slo-mo

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Andrew: “That’s not how it works”

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Andrew: “Turkey gobble wind-chill sort of situation”

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Andrew: “USB Talk with Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “USB with LB”

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Andrew: “We’re here, we’re turkey, get used to it”

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Andrew: “What did you do?”

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Andrew: “When will it be done?”

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Andrew: “You… get off the goddamn unicycle!”

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Andrew and Luke: Bubble Kasell or Kasell Bubble

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh! Shhh— Yeah! Sade! Really!?”

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Luke: “Alley-oops!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Drawn out “D’oh-oh!”

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Luke: “Get Jesse!”

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Luke: “Holy shit, you’re on a unicycle!”

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Luke: “I don’t want to even know what kind of witch’s brew is in my gutty works right now from all that”

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Luke: “I had three and a half Duke’s spicy sausages”

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Luke: “I was livin’ in that hot-air balloon!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Mr. Yuk

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I don’t think I realized how… angry that guys was gonna be”

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Luke: “Not, not anything that you know-sef Josef. What?”

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Luke: Quietly Chuckling

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Luke: Singing “Shorty”

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Luke: “Zapp and Rogers, all time greatest hits, Computer Love, donors of the day”

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Luke and Andrew: “Dude, you’re not getting a Dell. No.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I have show titles coming out of my ears. Oh, good. Eww, also gross. (Ear mites) Isn’t there a commercial about that too?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m not gonna tell your cats that. LostTheirOwners.BadAndrew. Don’t go to that website.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke laughing and Andrew saying “No”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke puts the Burbank in USB

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Luke and Andrew: “This may just be the instrumental version… Oh, no! Is this karaoke? Actually, I think it’s just the karaoke version. (Oh, shit!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “What am I to do, walk around the world with stank breath? No, walk around the world eating ice cream after your show.”

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Clips From TBTL #2255

Andrew: “Boom-body of the day”

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Andrew: “But people’d say, ‘What do you do for a living?’ Well usually, I would lie”

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Andrew: Fail Sound

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Andrew: Fart Sound

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Andrew: “Hey man, you just made the current Ten of the Week a very happy man”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna be the guy who farted”

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Andrew: “I told you, I don’t like Zappa. I don’t get that reference!”

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Andrew: “It’s all farts and mirrors with you”

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Andrew: “Just pull my finger”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing #4

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Andrew: “Like, I just did not grow up in a ‘pull my finger’ kind of environment”

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Andrew: Saying “Oh his daughter’s wedding day” as Marlon Brando in “The Godfather”

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Andrew: “They say that we’re always stronger in the farty places… I think.”

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Andrew: “Well, what about Lukels?”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “Working on my night cheese tonight”

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Andrew and Luke: “I am a little bit concerned about Carey, though; because, it sounds like to me, you’re planning on being the most annoying guy to watch The Godfather with. And, that’s different from watching other movies with me how!!?”

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Luke: “Alright Burbank, you’re done.”

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Luke: “And just give them a not-so-gentle double-paw tap right on their family jewels”

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Luke: “Aw, shit!”

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Luke: “Her motto is FREAM: Food Rules Everything Around Me”

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Luke: “I’m back baby, I’m back!”

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Luke: “If, if you’re in a fart-based relationship”

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Luke: “KIRO: After Hours”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: “Oh my God”

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Luke: “Pain is just farts not leaving the body”

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Luke: “Pod-dog… loves to jump up on the, the genital region of visitors to Burbank Springs; hoping, that some kind of food will out like a, like a vending machine or something”

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Luke: “Save it for the No Point!”

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Luke: “The world is a slightly better place when we’re not all farting on each other all the time”

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Luke: “Tremendous rattle… of truth”

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Luke: “We are now part of APM Podcasts!”

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Luke: “Whatever is wrong with my brain”

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Luke and Andrew: “Could we call, could we call…photo segment, ‘Heavy Petting’? Yes we can. Yes we must! Yes we must.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Easy, Captain Beefheart. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Infinite Guest was the name of the, the network of podcasts, the grouping of podcasts. The murder of podcasts. The parliament of podcasts. That’s right.”

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Clips From TBTL #2254: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Alright. We good.”

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Luke: “Am I gonna get to be the hero of this story?”

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Luke: “Bamboo!”

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Luke: Cackling

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Luke: Cackling #2

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Luke: “Can I just open, like, the firehose of my feelings”

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Luke: “Euugh, that ain’t good.”

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Luke: “It was like the Harlem Grobetrotters”

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Luke: “It’s gone to that mole heaven in the sky”

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Luke: “Luke’s impending health crisis”

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Luke: “Mmm-hmm. Okay. Good.”

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Luke: “Oh, good. It’s just a mole.”

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Luke: “Oh, man. Ooh, burn. Roast. Oh, he capped on you.”

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Luke: “Shit, we gettin’ a new Costco!”

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Luke: “So, it’s not cancerous. Can I get it back then? Could they re-attach it? No? Okay.”

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Luke: “That was, my jam, as a child”

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Luke: “This election has fucking freaked my chili… you know?”

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Luke: “Toenail clippers, my man”

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Luke: “What are all these weird marks on your back?”

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Luke: “WTF”

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Luke: “You, it’s nail chewin’ time”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, the worst part was that there was a blanket of some kind (No) over something, and I shook it out and just (No) a cascade of toenails, (No!) like clipped toenails”

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Luke and Andrew: Forensics File and Peanut M&M’s

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Luke and Andrew: “Know that you want to send a message to those fat cats in Washington. Those fat cats in St. Paul!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, LB didn’t, you know, come in on a jetpack and cast the winning vote? (Mmm) LB doesn’t have time for this. Wait, you did come in on a jetpack though. You just didn’t know if it was the winning vote.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Wasn’t it supposed to be, ‘What do you know-sef, Josef?’ Aaghh! Re-introduce me.”

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