Clips From TBTL #2235: Luke Burbank Edition

Luke: “Coming to you today from the Hilton Caribe in San Juan, Puerto Rico, looking out on the beautiful… Is it the Atlantic Ocean? I didn’t do a ton of research before I came down here, people.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Everybody on this island pretty much has to speak some amount of English; because, that’s the fucking way of the world. And, I can just go to the Starbucks and order a, you know, coffee like I normally have it, and everything’s fine in my world.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Hola. ¿Qué tal?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “¡Hola, Daddy Yankee! Tu Inglés es major de mi Español.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I guess I figured that m–because, I’m an idiot.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I should just speak English and own it”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I, somehow, chose the third rail of podcasting”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I’m Andre Agassi-balding”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I’m sure I can go get some special cards made up that, that just say, ‘Hola,’ and then, in English, ‘I’m sorry, but that’s all the Spanish that I speak'”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I’m trying from the Bartman of my heart to make this Trump segment work, Andrew.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, by the way. I’m allegedly your host.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “No, no wig-shaming here”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Singing “Boricua, moreno, boricua, moreno”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Singing “Morena, boricua, morena, boricua”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “This is fine. This is–everything’s okay. This is fine.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Tu Inglés es major de mi Español”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Where do you guys, where do you keep the Starbucks around here?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Luke and Andrew: “Hair on, glasses off. Right.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “I do have some complicated feelings about certain elements of being down here. Is, is it the lack of white people, Luke? Because, that’s straight up racist.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “Just to wrap this whole dumb thing up; I think what it is, is I have this low-level underlying feeling of guilt that someone else had to learn English. Hmm.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: Luke is describing someone that is like Andrew

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: Painting Bald Spot and Boiling Toupée

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “This hotel that I’m in, it’s sort of shabby-sheik, hold the sheik. Mmm-kay.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “You just keep digging. Wait, hold on, keep digging. I’m gonna get to China soon; where, I’m gonna greet everybody by saying ‘Hola’ and then having to slowly reveal that I don’t speak Cantonese.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Clips From TBTL #2235: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “And, when they missed that kick, I was on my knees like a soccer player skidding across the floor, like screaming and yelling”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Hey, did ya guys all watch the football game!?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Hey! You know what it’s like to be me!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Making mouth sounds

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “No, I didn’t.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Or, say from the Bart–from the Bartman of our hearts again; cuz, I can’t get enough of that shit.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Paint your bald spot?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “People are gonna like it. It’s very lion-esque”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Saying “Do you like football?” slowly and loudly

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Saying “Verbiage” in a funny manner

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Shine hard wig-shaming”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Snorting

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Snorting #2

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Thank you from the Bartman of our hearts!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “That was me doing me”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “What I was about to say, it sounds awful”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Andrew and Luke: “Uh, we’re gonna win the ring in tw–Don’t do that. Do not, please, do not do that to the listeners. Super Bowl Twenty-Four… Teen. So, yeah. Two years old.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Luke: “You truly are our Bartmen. I was gonna say, thanks from the Bart-tom of our hearts. I’m sorry, I stepped on your joke!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Clips From TBTL #2234: Aaron Mason Edition

Aaron Mason: “Cynicism is like poison. It’s, it’s the worst thing.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “I’m back!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Keep talking about boob cake? Brother, can’t I stop”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Luke’s right. Future trippin’ is bad news, alright?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Maybe, I’ll go on one of my beloved dump runs”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Meow”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Oh my God!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Then you get to be Filth Santa”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “This is Andy’s pee”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Twang!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Whatever, bro! Too hot for TBTL!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason: “Yo, bro!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Also, it’s a cake! This is a cake… (It’s a cake!)”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: Andrew pulled dump rank on Aaron

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Bro, it’s Ace. It is!!! Yeah.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Future plannin’. I’d like the coin that, please. No.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Hype Williams Presents! DJ Screwed!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “I’ve decided I am (Ohh!) going to be calm today.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Should (I don’t know, do we want to get into this?) is the problem. Should is the problem. (No) You’re such a should guy. (No, here’s the problem. Here’s the problem…) That’s the worst word!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: “This one’s from Stu-bot! (I was actually…) Stu-bot says…Did you read me my mind? (Maybe)”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Aaron Mason and Andrew: Variations on Katy or Catie

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Clips From TBTL #2234: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “And I realize… I didn’t do it”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Boom.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Explaining Stu-bot’s message and Andrew stepping on his jokes

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “God, I’m really, I’m just going to the beginning on this one”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “He is… so goddamn talented!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Hi, TBTL listener. I had to cut something out of the show at this point. Trust me, it was worth it; and, trust me, I’ll explain it later on in the show. For now, let’s pick it up here.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I have a… empty life”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I stepped on these jokes like Godzilla stepping on a dog’s tail”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I’m sorry, Stu. And also, I’m sorry Future Andrew; cuz, I don’t know how I’m gonna cut that out!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It is!!!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It was the 90s”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It was… horrible”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It’s not called ‘Grapes of Ads'”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It’s time to thank our Bartman level donors of the day”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Laughing #2

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Luke Burbank is on another tough assignment for CBS News, by the way. He’s down in Puerto Rico, sipping on piña coladas and getting lost in the rain.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “My name is not Andy. Like, I grew up as an Andy. My dad still calls me ‘Andy Boy’ or ‘A-Boy'”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Oh, no”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Oh yeah, this is sad”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Oh… yeah.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Quietly saying “That’s fine. It’s all gonna be fine.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Saying “Bring it!” in a gruff voice

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Saying “Profiterole” in a funny manner

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Snorting

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Snorting #2

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Thank you, anonymous listener!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “That was Ron ‘The Ace of Ron’ Upshaw”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “That’s pretty solid”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “That’s why people should keep listening: To see if I can get it up for a story that, I admit at the top of the show, I just don’t care about”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “The listeners know what’s happening here. They don’t like it… but, they know it’s happening.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “There goes our dump dates”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Things got a little bit weird there at the end”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “This is gross”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “This is… off… the… tracks!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Well… whatever”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Within the first, like, two minutes of, of my eighth grade was awful”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron making sounds while Andrew is trying to say something in the clear

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “And remember, no mountain too tall, and profiter-all!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “How good is that movie!? Awesome!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “I am on a learning site… Oh, no. Cyber.com, (Oh no, this is…) backslash learn”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Public radio. (Uh-huh) I, I smarten this shit up a little bit”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Really?!? Yes! He only has one tweet?!?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “So I’m like, kind of out there like an… such an old cranky man (I know!) Love that you jump right to raccoons!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Aaron Mason: “So, anyway, you taught these kids about cyber. Yeah, that’s right, all about the cybers”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Clips From TBTL #2233: Luke Burbank Edition

A listener left a voicemail in a David Attenborough-esque manner (with a hint of an Australian accent) about finding Andrew Walsh in his natural habitat of the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle, Washington

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Luke: “And he said, ‘Clever girl'”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Eventually they are chopped, bro. And, screwed.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Giggling “It was like”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “He is such a nasty podcaster; although, he has, thankfully, agreed to accept the results of this podcast… if he wins.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “He of the octogenarian, sky diving habit”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “His name is Andrew… huhhh… Walsh”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I also wrote this on, on Tweeter”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I decided, I’m gonna pull an Andrew”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I think it’s a great honor to these listeners to be our Bartman level donors of the day”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “I think we’re on a, a real hot streak of late”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: If Luke were a monkey

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Is it your civic duty to vote? I’m not actually sure.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Luke would kill to become a 60 Minutes correspondent

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “‘Oh, I’m sorry, is that Chris Hayes’s contact info in my phone?’ casually”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Oh, really? Now we’re not friends?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Saying “Only in New York, my friend” in a nasally manner

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: Saying “That’s the, that’s the best tasting pickle I’ve ever heard” as the Vlasic Stork

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “Tell ’em The Bone sent ya”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “That’s a bridge too far”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “The loons, Norman! The, the salads, Norman!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “You wanna be on our podcast?

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke: “You won’t like this, Andrew; but, normals will.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Luke and Andrew: “He is known primarily for his drawings of tall ships and he joins us from the Wallingford neighborhood (Wrong!) of Seattle, Washington. Not true!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “Here’s a thing, kids: If you go all the way down the ladder, you’ll have a fun explosion; and, then, you’ll have a baby when you’re seventeen. Gross.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “I am so turned on right now. I know, this is the hottest! This is TBTL: After Dark”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know you that way! (Right)”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “I know our show is Internet-based… Both, while we do it and where people get it.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “I went with… Jiminy Walsh. See, I don’t like, I don’t wanna be that. I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “It would never fly in the South NOBS district. No, no, it would not.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: Laughing and saying “How would we get there? I don’t know”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: Tunify and Tuna Sandwiches

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Luke and Andrew: “You guys could have had a cow when you heard us asking for donations during the most recent TBTL-a-thon. But, you didn’t man! You didn’t.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Clips From TBTL #2233: Andrew Walsh Edition

Andrew: “Ahh, they’re all a bunch of crooks!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “All of the jacks on the machines are jacked up, appropriately enough”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “But, I’m more of a Seattle guy”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “By the way, quick, quick, quick aside… you miss New York!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Cowabunga”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Dominican Republican

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Fuck. What did we talk about?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Hey, did you watch that debate last night? Cuz, if not, it would be weird.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I don’t know why kids are talking like this in Ohio; but, they are!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I have a lot of thinking to do”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I just don’t wanna be Jiminy Walsh”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “I still don’t know why it’s called a ‘hand grenade ladder’!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It’ll be very much tomorrow’s salad today”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “It’s got the thing over the N”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Let’s go more biblical”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “No offense, Donovan”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Nope, it’s not in Spotify; so, thank God for that.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Oh yeah, politics. That’s how they get ya!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Ooh God, I remember my first arm-around.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Quietly saying “It’s kinky”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Quietly saying “So much to say!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Singing “U-N-I-T-Y”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: Snorting

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “There’s no good that comes of this”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “They’re all crooks!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Was this salad chopped and screwed? That’s how I’m gonna talk.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “What!?”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Whatever”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew: “Yes! Yes!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

 

Andrew and Luke: “Does this story end with you staring at a tree and crying? No, Andrew!”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Luke: North of the Burrito Shop or NOBS

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Luke: Saying “Somehow ‘No offense, Donovan’… Ahhhh… Somehome ‘No offense, Donovan’ really makes me laugh. Alright. Cool.” with Andrew laughing

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone

Andrew and Luke: “This sounds adorbs. You’re gonna lose your, lose your, your shit.”

MP3 | MPEG-4 | MPEG-4 Ringtone