Marsupial Gurgle

Andrew: “Bobby Pape?!? I love that guy! He is the best.”

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Andrew: “Get on the steak eating stage!”

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Andrew: “He gets it off the Darknet!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why”

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Andrew: “I’ll show you my vacuum later.”

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Andrew: “I’m both scared of confrontation, but also really, kind of like, passive-aggressive and itchy”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna need your badge and your bun!”

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Andrew: “I’m laughing my lovin’ ass off.”

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Andrew: “It would be funny if we had to sign a non-disclosure agreement to be on this show. This is an all-disclosure agreement that we have on this show.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “What!?!?”

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Andrew: “Oh, damn.”

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Andrew: “Oh, that sounds awful.”

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Andrew: “Really?!?”

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Andrew: “What?!?”

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Andrew: “What the… hell?”

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Andrew: “Whoo!”

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Andrew: “You’re listening to Tapestries on New Hampshire Public Radio. My name is Andrew Walsh… talking about tall ships today.”

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Luke: “Carey said to me, drolly, ‘Is it Amarillo or is it Amarilluh?’ And I said, well down there, they call it ‘Amarilluh’. And she goes, ‘Well, yeah. You’re in Bellingham now.'”

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Luke: “Coming to you… from the broadcast facilities of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat, in the Wallingford neighborhood of Seattle.”

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Luke: “Echo. Echo. Echo.”

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Luke: Guffawing

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Luke: “It was so good!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing #2

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Luke: Making concussive sounds

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Luke: “My friend, Andrew Walsh, well, he made a boo-boo last night.”

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host. (Please clap)”

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Luke: “Project Hot Dog”

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Luke: Saying “My baby!” as Newman from Fear and Loathing

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Luke: Saying “That’s… My baby!” as Newman from Fear and Loathing

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Luke: Saying “Too Beautiful To Live is made possible by long time…” in his “real” radio voice

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Luke: “That’s my wife you’re talking about. That’s my wife!”

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Luke: “What in the world is this”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I share, can I share what is probably the saddest eating victory of all time? Well… sure. I mean, I feel like you’re only gonna have to outdo yourself. No offense.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Next one is a winking emoji. Mmmm, yeah! Yeah! Sure. Someone missed Carey on his road trip.”

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Luke and Andrew: “They were so secretive, that it was called ‘Project Hot Dog’. Ha-ha, what!?!?”

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Andrew: “And, I swear to god, I’m not trying to do that.”

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Andrew: “By the way, I will not contribute to your Kickfunder, for, uh, Luke’s stagecoach. I refuse to do it. I’m sorry.”

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Andrew: “Giddy up, I Can’t Remember!”

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Andrew: “How fast can I eat this? Will I make it?”

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Andrew: “I think you’re rubbing off on me a little bit.”

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Andrew: “I’m a long distance enabler.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Like, what the fuck am I talking about?”

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Andrew: “Luke, I love you to death.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God, I fear for your colon.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God, you can’t do this! I forgot.”

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Andrew: “Oh-la-la, y’all!”

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Andrew: “Right!!?”

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Andrew: “Single or multi-cell organisms that are not gonna come down and probe us in our buttocks.”

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Andrew: “This is some Pee-wee Herman shit right here, man.”

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Andrew: “This time, tell Carey before you buy your new stagecoach; because, I see where this is going, and I think is just the type of thing you should discuss in advance.”

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Andrew: “Well, I’d say that you’re all hat and no cattle.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you wearing a cowboy hat right now? Oh, Andrew.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Do you realize the horses were named: Diamond, Champ, Rocky and I forget. That’s not really the fourth horse’s name, I just forget the name of the fourth horse.”

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Luke: “Donald Trumpian”

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Luke: “Get a rope!”

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Luke: “Hey buddy!”

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Luke: “I don’t have all the answers; or, in fact, any of the answers.”

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Luke: “I suffer for this show, Andrew, I just want you to know”

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Luke: “I’ve actually signed up with a different fundraising website here in Texas, it’s called ‘Shitkicker’.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Not just because I am sort of a chameleon and a charlatan, uh, and a dilettante. I’m a real triple threat, Andrew.”

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Luke: “Oh, Andrew. You think you know me.”

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Luke: “Ohhh, dang it!”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is Luke’s personal Siri

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know. I feel like there’s a… There’s a better chance that there are aliens out there than that Jesus is living in the sky. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: The actual apocalyptical devastation caused by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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Andrew: Gruff chuckle

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Andrew: “Guess what, Luke. It’s scooter o’clock in this town again.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Lol”

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Andrew: “Loosey goosey”

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Andrew: “Move this armrest up a little bit, huh.”

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Andrew: “Murrk”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Genevieve told me!”

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Andrew: “One, two, uh… Rutabaga, rutabaga.”

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Andrew: “Sky jink me man!”

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Andrew: “Too many stairs!”

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Andrew: “Welcome to Walsh, Walsh and Doormat.”

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Andrew: “What are you doing, Luke?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, up here we call it Blursday.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew found a solution to his slow reading problem

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Andrew and Luke: “By the way, is Carey worried that you gonna get married every single time you leave town? Uh, worried or hopeful?”

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Luke: “Ahoy hoy.”

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Luke: “But, boy oh boy.”

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Luke: Saying “It’s-a… wouldn’t it be a little on the nose if we had cows here?” in a Columbo-like manner

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Luke: “The cow’s already out of the barn on that one.”

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Luke: “The message is, is just gonna be, ‘Luke, hang up.'”

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Luke: “This isn’t annoying to the listeners at all.”

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Luke: “Uhh! I love me some Sonic.”

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Luke: “Well now, wait a minute!”

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Luke: “Wow!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I was man… I was man… What’s the opposite of spreading? Man-tightening. You’re man-tightening. Okay, good.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s Stagecoach Blursday! Alright, we have a show title. Let’s wrap this up.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Who, who is the navigator on Star Trek? Was that… You really want to do this, you want to do this, Luke? Was that, was that Chekov?”

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As Luke was starting to introduce Andrew on to the show, Luke tried to say “Washington” over the “California” in the “California Got Sunshine” drop. Unfortunately, it was not well-timed and this was the result:

Luke: “Washington… ‘California Got Sunshine’ (Damn it!) That’s a hell of an intro for a hell of a guy.”

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I decided to make a clean version of the “Washington Got Sunshine” drop by finding a clean version of Luke saying “Washington” and edit into the “California Got Sunshine” clip. The “Washington” bit was pulled from a clip from #2067. The resulting “Washington Got Sunshine” clip is:

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Andrew: “Apparently”

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Andrew: “Here I am, stuck listening to this guy do one half of a podcast everyday.”

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Andrew: “I guess I just don’t care, despite using a thousand words to say that.”

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Andrew: “I’m having some cat issues; Theo just will not shut up anymore.”

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Andrew: “I’ve been, like, the most vulnerable God damn flower on this show”

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Andrew: “Jesus Christ”

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Andrew: Saying “That’s what it says on our business cards.” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew and Luke: “How about ‘Lived in Bars’, do you know that song? Know it? You lived it! Where do you think I’m going after we’re done recording?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere. The listeners are, but you aren’t.”

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Luke: “And this is where we, you know, maybe climb atop our media for a moment.”

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Luke: “Hard eyerolling”

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Luke: “I’m not, I do not think that I just, you know, fart out… rainbows.”

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Luke: “I’ve never seen gray hair grow out of my face before.”

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Luke: “It’s, it’s like the Benghazi of tax, you know what I mean.”

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Luke: Pod-dog’s work stoppage

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Luke: Saying “That’s what they said on Ask Jeeves.” as Casey Kasem

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Luke: “This guy”

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Luke: “We gotta be done in exactly 60 minutes!”

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Luke: “Well, I’m exactly the podcast host to help you with that. Specializing in unreasonable behavior in unreasonable times.”

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Luke: “What news is print to fit, er, excuse me, fit to print, as they say.”

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Luke: “You know me, I love me a dive bar.”

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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re a, if you’re a lefty like Andrew and I, uh, are… If you’re a lefty like Andrew and I am? Are. Are. Andrew and I am, yeah, are.”

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Luke and Andrew: Trying to say the Dazzling Donor’s last name in a number of ways

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TBTL Ten and member of the Little Red Bandwagon podcast gang, Jeremy, posted on the sTens Facebook group asking for a supercut of all of the times Luke and Andrew said “moist” on the show. If you’re curious, Luke and Andrew said it a total of 39 times (28 for Luke and 11 for Andrew).

Huge thanks to TBTL Ten Heather for providing me with the timecodes for each one, making it much easier to locate and pull each one. The following is the supercut Jeremy requested:

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In the process of creating the supercut, I had all 39 clips loaded in Audacity and hit play before getting a chance to arrange them in order. The result was a very, very disturbing and demonic sounding clip. You have been warned!

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If you are wondering, I wasn’t too put off with the word “moist” before creating the supercut; but, now that I’ve heard the word over a hundred times in the past 24 hours, I now cringe and writhe a little when I hear the word “moist”.

 

Andrew: “But, what the shit does that mean?”

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Andrew: “Cowa…bunga!”

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Andrew: “Gimme moist”

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Andrew: “I don’t watch TV, I only listen to my Victrola.”

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Andrew: “I’m a man of few dishes, but those dishes count. And so will my garlic.”

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Andrew: “I’m not even writin’ that one down.”

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Andrew: “I’m such a baby!”

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Andrew: “I’m the terrible firestarter!”

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Andrew: “If, uh, if I find out you’re not really my friend, I tell you what, my eyes are gonna get pretty moist.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God!”

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Andrew: “Oh no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I don’t have a flappy one.”

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Andrew: “Sorry, everybody, like, trigger alert. This is… gross.”

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Andrew: “Spare the sides, spoil the haircut.”

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Andrew: “This baby is cordless”

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Andrew: “Why… How… How have… Why–2016”

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Andrew: “Yeah! Sounds good. Whatever.”

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Andrew: “You can’t control for moist. Eww.”

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Andrew and Luke: “A man must have an ID. Damn, that’d be a good show title!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I, for one, welcome our Dyson overlords.”

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Luke: Attempting to sing like LeAnn Rimes???

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Luke: “Dear God, if I found out this guy doesn’t rank me as a friend, I’m really gonna have to re-think everything. His name is Andrew Walsh.”

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Luke: “I got nothing but time, Rudy. Nothing but time.”

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Luke: “I’ll be God damned.”

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Luke: “I’m not dead! I’m very badly burned. My leg’s broken. It smells like almonds. That cannot be good.”

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Luke: “I’m not gonna fucking bow!”

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Luke: “Miragee”

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Luke: “MPM, the Moist Per Minute”

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Luke: “Oh for two, Burbank.”

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Luke: “Oh, God. I hate myself sometimes.”

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Luke: “Shave the middle, spoil the child?”

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Luke: Spit Take

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Luke: “That was a delicious moment in my life.”

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Luke: “The beginning of Pod-dog being on probation.”

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Luke: “These are just two farts on a plate.”

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Luke: “This fart salad I just ate.”

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Luke: Trying to call Pod-dog

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Luke: Using the squirrel toy to try to get Carey into the room

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Luke: “We just bro’d down, hard.”

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Luke: “You would like him to notice you, Senpai.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, would you like a slice of this, this cake. It’s my mom’s famous recipe. It’s the, the dampest cake you’ve ever had. Oh my gosh! Oh no.”

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Luke and Andrew: “But I did have time to pull one of these farts out of a sack and cut them in half. (Oh, good Lord!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Here’s the thing though… What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m a man of few memories, in that I can’t remember all four of the four dishes that I make. I’m a man of few facts, but long, long of the wind.”

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Andrew: “Dude.”

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Andrew: “Hmm.”

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Andrew: “I always thought it was ‘herbetically’ sealed”

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Andrew: “I don’t know anything about auctions.”

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Andrew: “I just don’t know… really.”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be a plump, bald guy.”

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Andrew: “It’s pretty dark dad. Easy there.”

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Andrew: Laughing with fanfare

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Andrew: “Oh, please. Please, justify my job here at American Public Media one more year.”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah! Remember that thing?”

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Andrew: Saying “Dear, Luke” in a Columbo-like voice

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: Snorting #3

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Andrew: “Wow!”

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Andrew: “Yeeeah.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Like a pheasant? Like a pheasant!”

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Andrew and Luke: Next TBTL-a-thon gifts could be several year old calendars

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Andrew and Luke: Nouveau Riche and Nouveau Niche

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh my God, look at the time! We’ve been talking this long!?! Believe it or not… Believe me, the listeners have noticed.”

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Luke: “A kneeling Hitler and a solid gold shitter.”

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Luke: “And, I’ll always be there for them… So long as they donate the right amount of money to the TBTL-a-thon.”

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: “Don’t feed this Dyson vacuum cleaner after midnight. You just don’t know what will happen.”

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Luke: “Oh. God. What. Did. I. Say. On. That. Thing?”

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Luke: “Okay, before I start bragging all over town about my vacuum cleaner”

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Luke: “Or herpetically sealed to keep you from getting herpes.”

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Luke: Re-enacting a phone bidder during an auction

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Luke: “Rudy! No sign of Pod-dog. She… I think she’s down the hall recording a different podcast. Dang it!”

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Luke: “Uh… two… plus, uh, four, is six.”

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Luke: “Very, very nich-y, or niche, depending on how come down on that word.”

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Luke: Whistling

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Luke: “Why the face.”

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Luke: “You crushed this.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Anyway… Get something right! Yeah, I’ll try.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I not? Yeah, you know what? Don’t. Stop picturing that.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It was a calendar with pictures of wooden boats. Now, I like wooden boats, you know that? Yeah. The calendar was from 2012.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That was it, I counted ’em. It was eight beers, that’s all you drank. Umm, yeah, I mean, that was for breakfast.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This calendar was, if I’m doing the math right, six years old. So that was… Well, four, four years old, right? You said it was from 2012. Oh, excuse me. So, I wasn’t doing the math right. Wait… somebody get this guy a calendar!”

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