Luke: “And, he joins us… from the Roosevelt neighborhood of Seattle, Washington, for as long… as his tongue… will allow it”
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Luke: “And, I don’t wanna get weird”
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Luke: “And, in, in just over twenty-four hours from now, you’re gonna try to be on KIRO Radio… ringing everybody’s Belle… with your tongue injured”
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Luke: “Are you serious, my friend?”
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Luke: “But, guess what it is… bruh”
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Luke: “Dang it!”
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Luke: “Don’t come at me for a Raitt-off, okay? Unless, if you wanna get schooled”
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Luke: “Don’t get cocky, Tuff Shed!”
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Luke: “How did nobody die… when a… lava rock… that could’ve been palmed by Michael Jordan… dropped through the… the, the, the canopy of the boat, into the middle of where the people were sitting on the boat. How does that not kill people? That’s insane!”
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Luke: “I don’t have much to say on this, other than, ‘Holy shit!'”
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Luke: “I don’t know… This is one of those days. We may get to Top Stories, we may not”
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Luke: “I feel like I never want to talk about your tongue… this way… because, it’s starting to… starting to be oddly arousing”
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Luke: “I have refashioned him, in my mind, into this, just like… a real catty bitch”
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Luke: “I love having joints cracked”
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Luke: “I was a very sheltered kid”
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Luke: “I was so afraid of the witch!”
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Luke: “I was starting to tell Carey the story… and, then, I said, ‘You know what… just listen to TBTL.’ And, she said, ‘Nope!’ She goes, ‘I saw the title of the show when it came into my phone; and, I was just like, ‘Not today, Satan””
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Luke: “I’ve put their business out there. I’ve put their name in my Twitter mouth”
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Luke: “Is there something you’re not telling me!!?”
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Luke: “It’s not like my rib was hanging out… it was just… slightly… it was seated slightly incorrectly”
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Luke: “Lurnk wishes you a happy lursday”
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Luke: “My song is just apropos of… nada mucho”
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Luke: “No news; which is, good gnus”
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Luke: “Now you know what you sound like. You could submit this tape to Ron for his review… I mean, should we just call it? Should you, should you… should you… put that tongue back on the shelf? I feel like I never want to talk about your tongue… this way… because, it’s starting to… starting to be oddly arousing. But, I mean, should you just fold that tongue up and go home?”
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Luke: “Oooo, okay. Hold up there, buddy”
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Luke: “Please… can we keep these things firewalled? Can we keep them siloed? (Who is my daddy? And, what does he do?) Can we not have Peter Sagal know that there’s something called, ‘TBTL Daddies’?”
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Luke: Saying “She can’t take much more!” as Scotty from Star Trek
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Luke: Saying “She’s about to surrender like a monkey!” as Scotty from Star Trek
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Luke: “Should you just fold that tongue up and go home?”
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Luke: “Should you… put that tongue back on the shelf?”
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Luke: Singing “On the Great Space Coaster… Get on board!”
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Luke: “That’s… dark!”
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Luke: “This is a plan that only somebody as… as, as unrealistic as… me… would hatch. Like, this sounds like my move, not your move”
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Luke: “What are you, Luke Burbank!?”
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Luke: “When I got to the chiropractor… I was like, ‘Oh, yeah. I’m Rich’s neighbor.’ And, he said, ‘There’s no, we don’t know anyone named Rich. Did you imagine this person?’ I’m like, ‘No. He’s real!!!'”
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Luke: “Ya bit!”
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Luke: “You get a podcast! You get a tongue surgery! You get a dislocated rib! That would be, like, the weirdest episode of Oprah ever”
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