Clips From TBTL #2840

Jen: “Are you crazy? I can name a thousand better Bob Dylan songs than that!”

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Jen: “It… was… so great!”

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Jen: “Oh… I was the dick”

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Jen: “What!?”

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Jen: “Whatever”

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Jen: “Why… can’t we get a first down?”

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Luke: “And, I would not have wanted to talk with… other… random… crunchy granola types”

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Luke: “And, seriously, that’s how my stupid brain works”

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Luke: “And, so, because I am the way I am”

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Luke: “I have so many questions for you”

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Luke: “I mean, it’s either TBTL or Live Wire! depending on… what I’m calling it on a particular day. Today, we’re calling it ‘TBTL'”

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Luke: “I think I’m one with the Joshua tree culture”

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Luke: “Joshua trees are… they’re like me… they’re weird… they’re weird looking, but kind of fascinating, and… and lovable in a strange way, in a gnarled way”

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Luke: Saying “Everything cool?” in a funny manner

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Luke: “So, thanks to Kristina for taking that on this week; since, I don’t know how to do any of that anymore”

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Luke: “That is actually pretty good”

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Luke: “Who knows how interesting that really is. Probably not”

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Luke and Jen: “I’m holding my stomach in, like, ninety percent of my life… Welcome to being a woman”

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Luke and Jen: “Jen, welcome back… to… TBTL. Thank you”

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Luke and Jen: “Well… speaking of good eggs, Jen… you’re the best. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thank you”

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Clips From TBTL #2669

Andrew: “Catholic guilt”

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Andrew: “Cleanliness is next to podliness. Nice!”

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Andrew: “Everybody, close your eyes and close your ears. This is just me and Luke here”

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Andrew: “God…damnit! This guy won’t leave the hotel! He keeps going back for one more thing!”

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Andrew: “Here I am. A guy that can’t call a stoner cab, can’t call a Lyft, can’t rent a car”

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Andrew: “Hey, man! I want y’all to know… Thank you, all… I do want you to know, that I am exactly, like literally, exactly, right now, two-and-a-half hours into a 5-Hour Energy drink… So, we got about two-and-a-half hours… then it’s over. So, let’s get going”

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Andrew: “I dunno. People keep telling me to do it!”

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Andrew: “I like the way you didn’t believe how you felt”

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Andrew: “I literally could not”

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Andrew: “I mean, it’s no Fighting Okra shirt; but, shit!”

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Andrew: “It’s… highly erotic!”

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Andrew: “Not to derail this too much; but… there were a couple of times that I looked at you; and, I realized, you are experiencing what Genevieve experiences a lot, and does not love… Which is… getting me to leave… the house or a room”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. I’ll wash your sheets”

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Andrew: “‘Oh, Luke. So glad to see you back with your antics'”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho!!! This is bad-ass. I’m not gonna lie to you”

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Andrew: “Ohhh! It’s my apron! It’s my cleaning apron”

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Andrew: Saying “Unlimited!” along with everyone at the live show

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Andrew: Singing “Is he rich like me?”

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Andrew: “This guy answers the phone and he’s on a cell phone… and, he is stoned. I mean, he is stoned as shit”

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Andrew: “This is a thing: The Fighting Okra!?”

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Andrew: “This smells nice!”

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Andrew: “Too many details”

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Andrew: “Wow! This crowd does not trust us, man”

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Andrew and Luke: “Ah, shit! (Oh, shit!) You done did it… Y’all are crazy”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke offered to be Andrew’s assistant but then disappeared the moment Andrew needed help posting the show

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Andrew and Luke: “Sometimes I don’t even have chest pockets and I just pat my chest. It’s, it’s… highly erotic! (Yeah) I think, you might even say, ‘Oh, ‘Explicit’!'”

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Andrew and Luke: “The dispatcher (Stoner Cab) was in the car!”

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Andrew and Luke: “There is definitely a moment… that I took my deodorant and rubbed it all over my face outside of an Office Depot… (True story) in Kansas City… I mean, we’ve all been there”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were getting mad… at us? Irritated? Describe your feelings. Leave no adjective out. And, describe them honestly. It’s okay. We can take it (Yeah)”

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Andrew, Jami Nettles and Luke: “You paint your yard spot? If it took it. Sick! (Sick!) Sick!”

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Jami Nettles: “No, baby. No”

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Jen: Recorded message for the TBTL Tens

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Luke: “All y’all really went all out”

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Luke: “By the way, game-changer”

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Luke: “He was like, ‘A TBT-What?'”

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Luke: “If you wanna just take… ten minutes of the show… and, just, kind of, make it your own; we’re gonna call it, ‘Jami’s Fun Times'”

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Luke: “Luke… Luke… Luke”

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Luke: “Meme Police… Luke Burbank… Compliance Officer”

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Luke: “No, I’ve been shitting like a maniac… but, I just didn’t wanna talk about it; cuz, we’re a very classy show”

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Luke: “Oh, fucking cops”

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Luke: “There is… a lot going on”

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Luke: “This feels fucking great”

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Luke: “We are gonna do, kind of, a… I guess, it’s sort of like: E-mails and V-mails, Live!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Are you sad to hear me say that? Should I… No, I’m not sad; and, I’m not surprised (Okay)”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Luke and Andrew: “McAlister’s number two. McAlister’s the Second”

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Luke and Andrew: One of Andrew’s low points during the trip was when he mistakenly rubs deodorant all over his face

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Luke and Andrew: “The idea of you sitting… on one of the listener’s beds… Is that a line too far?”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know… I started that as a joke; but, then, I just never stopped joking about it. And, I guess, now that the ‘thon is over, that’s the name of the ‘thon, Andrew… I love it, Luke!”

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Luke and Jami Nettles: “Did this thing cost you five thousand dollars to win? My family just… learned that I’m a Dazzling Donor; so, let’s just don’t go there. Okay. Alright. Fair… That’s fair”

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Sean, Luke and Andrew: Sean teaching how to use the contraction “Y’all”

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Clips From TBTL #2568: Sean and Jen Edition

At the TBTL 10th Vaniversary live show at the Re-bar in Seattle, the TBTL Players did their version of the Golden Girls and Jen also led the audience in singing the theme song from the show.

Sean, Luke, Andrew and Jen: Golden Girls, TBTL Style

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Jen, Sean, Andrew, Luke and the Audience: Singing the Golden Girls theme song

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Jen: “Here’s the thing. For a lot of us in this room, we’ve spent a lot of time praying to that god… It’s the best one!”

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Jen: “Hiiiii-yah!”

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Jen: “How do you not love that song!!?”

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Jen: “I dunno what any of that means”

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Jen: “I love these pants so much, I’m gonna wear them out the store!”

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Jen: “Let’s turn this around, you do like one!”

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Jen: “Okay… moving on”

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Jen: Singing “It’s a long way to the top, if you’re gonna rock ‘n’ roll”

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Jen: Singing “Pray to the god of sex and drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll!”

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Jen: Singing “Versace on the floor”

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Jen: “There’s gonna be a class action lawsuit; and, I’m gonna win ninety-three dollars, and I’m gonna be so happy!!!”

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Jen: “What!?!”

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Jen and Andrew: “Andrew? Yeah. You said on Twitter… Oh, God… that there is no good song (Oh, God. I knew it) that mentions, ‘Rock and Roll’… In the lyrics”

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Jen and Andrew: “What is wrong that you can’t just admit you did that…!? I didn’t eat a Landjäger!!”

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Jen and Sean: “I mean, we smelled weakness, and it was you! (We did!)”

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Jen and the Audience: Singing “I know, it’s only rock ‘n’ roll (and I like it)”

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Jen, Andrew and Luke: Jen is shocked that “It’s Only Rock ‘N’ Roll” isn’t Andrew’s favorite Rolling Stone song

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Jen, Andrew and Sean: “Well… So, I bought a Bitcoin… You did?!? Wow”

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Jen, Luke and Sean: “I feel a little bit sad; cuz, I think they all know it’s us… I did not even think about the live audience aspect (Wow)”

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Sean: “I finally showed up!”

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Sean: “I’ll pay this some day!”

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Sean: “Looking back at it now, we considered you a diaper sniper”

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Sean: Saying “Picture it, 1945!” as Sophia from Golden Girls

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Sean: Saying “Sicily, 1945. What?” as Sophia from Golden Girls

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Sean: Singing “People change”

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Sean: “Thanks, Darlin'”

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Sean: “Well, now you can see where the lover fits in: Light a candle, have a love”

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Sean: “What does ‘Avanti’ mean? I don’t know”

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Sean and Luke: “Call me, ‘Little Darlin’,’ like the strip club, that might be something… different. And, that’s the Sean DeTore we’re looking for!”

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Sean, Andrew and Jen: Sean couldn’t be at the show if it weren’t for Andrew and Genevieve’s… candle making

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Clips From TBTL #2568: Andrew and Luke Edition

Andrew: Bags of jerky are like bags of farts

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Andrew: “Don’t encourage me”

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Andrew: “Genevieve… are you Blair?”

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Andrew: “I love Boomers! I love Boomers! I love you”

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Andrew: “I vaped one Landjäger, that’s all I had”

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Andrew: “I, I will be here; and, I am here”

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Andrew: “It was more like three flarps”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Let’s just go out there and try to make each other laugh”

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Andrew: “Move!?”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! I forgot this is the first time we’ve ever met… That’s on me”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! That sounds great!”

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Andrew: “So, I think we’ve solved Blair’s problem. Sean, did you want a bite of this apple?”

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Andrew: “That scared me”

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Andrew: “The high point will be in ab… No, it would be rude to say that. Never mind. Sorry, I’m really tired”

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Andrew: “Who wants to shotgun a Black Ice Monster energy drink in the back of a van?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, sometimes you’re drunk and you send really stupid tweets”

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Andrew: “You guys are just bullying me now”

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Andrew and Jen: “You spent five minutes on a tweet of mine!? I did. Thank you so much!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you unplugged? I think you’re unplugged now. Hold on”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a guess… but, I don’t know for sure (Don’t guess. It’s a trap!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “That is so messy! Also… Who’s cleaning up all the milk!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, what is the official time? I don’t have any clocks up here that work”

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Andrew, Luke, Jen and Sean: Andrew denies eating a Landjäger and no one believes him

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Andrew, Sean and Luke: “The low point was the announcement of how many clocks you have. He said clocks, clocks… Clocks (By the way… freakin’ surrounded by them…) Surrounded by clocks (Yep)”

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Luke: “By the way, welcome to my world. It’s not pretty”

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Luke: Clearing his throat multiple times

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Luke: Doot-dooing “Jock Jams”

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Luke: “DTFB… really, really surprised me, and, and, maybe you, Andrew. Because, I thought he was gonna ride along for, like… two or three segments of this twenty-four hour marathon… And… he just… he, we couldn’t get him out of the van! That’s the true story”

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Luke: “Enjoy the goth DJ!”

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Luke: “How did it go to Lover Town?”

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Luke: “I am… sober as a Mormon who canceled TBTL”

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Luke: “I smelt it; and, I knew you dealt it”

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Luke: “I want you to know that handshake was… consensual and agreed upon… before the show”

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Luke: “I’m just trying to get you two fighting again… Mission accomplished!”

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Luke: “If you say one more word about MeUndies”

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Luke: “Leave!!”

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Luke: “Let’s work out something else on stage. Let’s do a little round of Defend Yourself… Alright. Yeah, defend yourself from the… volume of that sound effect”

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Luke: “My empire is crumbling!”

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Luke: Saying “But then, Bill Clinton said, ‘You speak up. You’re very beautiful'” as Bill Clinton

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Luke: “So far, I give this night three flarps up… which… means something to the four people who heard us… on that part of the twenty-four hour marathon”

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Luke: “That’s plenty. That’s, that’s… let’s not get carried away, everybody”

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Luke: “Wait a second… this is bad”

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Luke: “Well, alright everybody! It’s now or never! Welcome… to the… TBTL 10th… Vaniversary… special show, from the Re-bar in Seattle”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “What!? Who’s fired now? Us still? Okay, cool. Sorry, we’ll move!”

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Luke: “Who’s the Milhouse in this story?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I guess what I won’t do is listen to that song by Meatloaf (I know)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Some of that was because Andrew had started eating a Landjäger… and, it was… as advertised… very, very pungent. Yeah”

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Luke and Andrew: “What a Burb wants, what a Burbs needs. (Yeah. Yeah) Whatever keeps a Burb podcasting for twenty-four hours”

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Luke, Jen and Andrew: “And, also, with me doing the Running Man in my underwear, through the… I was gonna say, so much underwear… Yet, somehow, not enough”

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Clips From TBTL #2567

Andrew: “I could play some of that for you now. If you guys feel like you’d rather just keep talking, I can send it to you privately in an e-mail. We can all just cry at our computers later”

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Andrew: “I don’t like quoting people… at least, when they’re right in front of me, so they can correct me”

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Andrew: “I don’t think you said, ‘I fake it ’til I make it’; cuz, I can’t imagine those words coming out of your mouth”

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Andrew: “I don’t want to create any bad blood; so… answer however you… want. But, like, what was the vibe in the rest of the station once you guys were established for a little bit”

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Andrew: “No, I wanna see tears. I don’t wanna see sleep!”

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Andrew: “Oh, this is kinda weird and cool”

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Andrew: Saying “What does it sound like when I do this?” while futzing with the audio

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Andrew: “Stop the show!!”

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Andrew: “They’re lying”

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Andrew: “Usually this show is funny. Now, I’m just fucking drilling down on 3-D movie… But, what kind… Is it 800X or 400X? I need to know!”

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Andrew: “Well, I would say, based on my… in-fucking-depth interview on 3-D movies with… Camaro Kev today. I’ll tell you, it’s not the same thing as when you have to drive a conversation when daddy’s gone”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think she says ‘TBTL used to calm me down when I was three’. Yeah, but now that she’s four, it’s a different world! Girl, dun-dun-dun-dun, you’ll be a woman, soon”

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Andrew and Luke: “What’s the symbology there? Great question”

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Andrew and Luke: “You’re gonna think I’m crazy for saying this. Okay… I think we can go another twenty-four… I, I think… there will be a point where we will de-materialize and re-materialize into good radio hosts. And, it’s just, you have to push your body to it’s absolute breaking point; and, I think we’re getting kind of close”

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Jen: “Friends don’t ask friends to do math”

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Jen: “I appreciate you… putting me in that… company, by the way. Blessings”

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Jen: “I have a playlist… for sexy times”

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Jen: “Nope! Nope, nope, nope”

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Jen: Rapping “Trouble… comes at the worst time. It poked and fails, is that by design?”

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Jen: “We’re gettin’… really hot now. Oh, yeah”

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Jen: “You know what, Jason? You’re ruining this sexy song!”

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Jen and Andrew: “Don’t you listen to the show? I’m outraged! (Yeah)”

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Jen, Luke and Andrew: “Because, a little spooning actually does help you sleep better, and smarter, and… be more refreshed in the morning. Uh… I… Stop the show!!”

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Jen, Luke and Andrew: “But, that’s why you have a light! Turn the light out! I can’t see it. I have no idea that it’s going on. And, if, if he, for some, if the lights came on… That is generally how Carey describes sex with me, by the way… (Everybody get a CPAP in the dark) She’s like, ‘I can’t see it. I don’t know what’s going on… but, it’s working. So, that’s good'”

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Jen, Sean and Andrew: “This is not sustainable as one person; and, it’s not what this show’s about. This show is about… family, and love, and friendship, and all that. And, you can’t… you know, sustain that for long, just with… a microphone. Unless you’re a schizophrenic, then you can probably do that for at least a week. Good power out. Great way to end this, Seanie… with a jab at the mentally ill”

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Luke: “A theater… of the mind, right now; and, a battle of wills”

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Luke: “And… across the street from… where there was once a shabby Mexican restaurant; that, we tried, single-handedly, as a show, to keep in business… Never… one hookup, by the way… Not… one Don Fernando!”

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Luke: “David from the Backseat”

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Luke: “‘Don’t bore us, let’s get to the chorus’… as Jon Bon Jovi once said”

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Luke: “God! The analogies become more grandiose!”

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Luke: “I also think I’ve been married for… between three and nine years… So, not a real numbers guy”

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Luke: “Look who got the last laugh… I’m in this van, about to collapse from exhaustion; and, you’re probably somewhere on a beach, enjoying your retirement”

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Luke: “Now, forty-one year old boring me might be, ‘Well, programmatically… maybe we should be more consistent'”

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Luke: “Ours was called ‘Hidden Talents’… talent was very hidden… it remains so”

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Luke: “Remember something… she sells CPAPs down by the sea shore… and, she be relied upon”

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Luke: Singing “Girl, dun-dun-dun-dun, you’ll be a woman, soon”

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Luke: Singing “You’ve got small face… Sea galley!”

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Luke: “So, get… it… while… it’s… hot!”

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Luke: “This is why I get paid the big bucks”

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Luke: “Well, la-ti-da!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, look. Everything’s coming up Milhouse. I had the volume down, Andrew. You didn’t hear your little ting you don’t like (Oh, yeah) at the top of that sound effect”

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Luke and Jen: “Again, sorry… HIPAA… HIPAA warning! Uh-huh”

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Luke and Jen: “That was like water in the (Yes) desert (Yes)”

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Luke, Andrew and Sean: “Your computer is, is so large. I mean, (It is. I’m sorry) it really… No, no, that’s okay; but… I didn’t even realize, like… (Shocking) where my computer stopped and where yours started”

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Sean: “But, yeah, that’s still part, that’s, that’s… talent is still in my quiver”

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Sean: “I don’t know much about CPAPs. I don’t know if you know this about me; but, I know very little about CPAPs”

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Sean: “That’s, that’s inappropriate”

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Sean, Luke and Andrew: “Make sure to not cross the streams. Yeah, no. (No, don’t cross the streams) Good. Oh, you found something better than the schizophrenic joke… Very good stuff”

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Clips From TBTL #2565: Luke and David Burbank Edition

David Burbank: “Thank God Jen’s on the show”

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David Burbank and Andrew: “Do you get a copy of this list of names of the, of the… (Yeah!) complainers? Let’s, let’s make a hit list here”

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Luke: “And, Rudy goes over to where they are; and, I think she’s must be trying to eat an old wrapper or something… And, she just decides to stop… and drop the biggest deuce in the middle of their football game on AstroTurf”

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Luke: “Do you sense that I’m trying my hardest?”

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Luke: Drawn out “A real doozy”

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Luke: “Enough detail? Too much detail. Not enough detail… Where are we at on this?”

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Luke: “God, we’re lit!”

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Luke: “I licky boom-boom down”

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Luke: “I say as an extremely insecure person”

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Luke: “I’ll allow it!”

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Luke: “I’m just, I’m debating between keeping your powder dry; but, keeping your sugar on your shelf”

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Luke: “If they’re black… put ’em back. If they’re red… approach with dread… Those ones need to be dealt with. If they’re yellow, let them mellow”

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Luke: “Is this where they were? Is this where the people… knew this was a thing?”

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Luke: “It was bru-tal!”

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Luke: “Just… take this number, write it on the tablet of your heart, and be ready to call us”

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Luke: “KHAAAN!!!”

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Luke: “Listen… some of my favorite people to fight hang out at the Mandarin Gate”

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Luke: “O… M… G!!”

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Luke: “Oh, buddy”

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Luke: “She likes to take a picture, or do whatever fleek thing they do”

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Luke: Singing “All I do is lose”

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Luke: Singing “We be jammin’… We be jammin'”

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Luke: Singing the bass line of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”

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Luke: “So, I got those thangs”

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Luke: “TBTL is… Full-Night Sleepers”

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Luke: “That sounds lit”

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Luke: “That… for those of you… just joining the show… how’s it going?”

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Luke: “They’s tryin’ to say they was drunk… They had ninety beers. That was all”

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Luke: “Well, David, you’re the young… is that a fashion?”

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Luke: “What is happening to my life!? I don’t control the mic! I’m so sorry!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, Andrew, you have a look, I don’t know if it’s delirium, or satisfaction… or frustration on your face. I’m just in a really good mood!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you have a story to tell, Ben? Everybody’s got a story to tell, Ben”

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Luke and Andrew: “Every time I try to eat a Landjäger, everybody yells at me… says it stinks in here. Goddamnit!”

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Luke and Jen: “I really don’t need walk-on music, just because… that sets the expectation, that like… lesser Jimmy Fallon… and… and, I don’t think I’m quite there yet… (No) And, so… That was a little quick… A little quick”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Nelson: “Do you miss us, man? I mean, now, you’re, you’re, you, you… What he meant to say was, ‘We miss you, man’. Oh, yeah, that’s how you ask that… That’s how you say that. We miss you, Steve. Hey, do you miss us, man? I do miss you guys”

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