Clips From TBTL #2391

Andrew: “Ahhhhhh, damn it!!!”

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Andrew: “All I’m looking for in my life is vehicles for salt”

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Andrew: “Don’t think that’s possible; but, I would’ve been”

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Andrew: “I refuse to wear pants until we get a sponsor called, ‘Pants Club’. When we get a, when we get a pants club sponsor, then I’ll start wearing pants again.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Let’s do it all the time! Let’s have you here all the time.”

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Andrew: “Listen… it doesn’t matter to me as long as you’re cool with what happens on the other end. And, what happens on the other end, Luke, is a spanking.”

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Andrew: “Oh my God, I’m freaking out”

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Andrew: Saying “Don’t be ridiculous” as Balki Bartokomous

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Andrew: Saying “Peace sing” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “That’s a stupid question, but hear me out”

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Andrew and Luke: “I got one hand in my pocket and the other’s giving a high five (a high five!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Let me lay two things on ya. Please”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, okay. So, we’re peeing in the potty. Can I number two in the shower?”

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Luke: “Dear God, I wish today was my Friday. Turns out, it is… extremely, very much, my Tuesday”

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Luke: “Fire can’t melt this winning”

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Luke: “Nothing Smurf can Smurf”

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Luke: Saying “Albuquerque” as Bugs Bunny

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Luke: Saying “Don’t be ridiculous” as Balki Bartokomous

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Luke: “See… now you’re cooking with brains”

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Luke: “Totally. Win, win, win. Win all around. Win forever. You’re gonna be tired on winning.”

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Luke: “We’re at the point now where it’s more weird when I’m doing the show from Burbank Springs. This has become… the center of all things TBTL, as it turns out.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Meow, meow. Meow meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Sorry to bug you in the middle of dinner”

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Clips From TBTL #2390

Andrew: “I think I speak for all of us when I say, ‘Voooooh!!'”

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Andrew: “It was your idea to do this on Angel Dust, not mine.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Saying “It’s not a tuba” as Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Andrew: Snorting and Laughing

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Andrew: “Voooooh!!”

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Andrew: “Vooooop!!!”

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Andrew: “You’re saying that you’re not quite a captain. I’m saying… you are an illegal boat driver.”

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Andrew and Luke: Recreating the Butthole Flaps drop

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “It’s not a tuba” as Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Andrew and Luke: “Something old, something new, (Yep) something borrowed, something you, (Yeah!) Luke. There you go. (Wow!) That was weird.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Vooooop!!! Don’t ya have a drop that makes that ‘Vooooop!’ sound? No. No you don’t. It was your idea to do this on Angel Dust, not mine.”

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Luke: “I’m starting a new, questionable, medical… podcast called, ‘It’s not a tumor'”

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Luke: “It’s gonna be real neat… and real cool, and real out of the box”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Laughing and Clapping

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Luke: “We’re here… slaving over a hot laptop for you. We don’t even have to be doing this, but we are. So, appreciate it!”

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Clips From TBTL #2389

Andrew: “Alexa!”

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Andrew: “Did you try the Frenchman’s Gondola?”

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Andrew: “God dang it!”

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Andrew: “How about that for an interesting story? Power out!”

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Andrew: “KITT… that lives in my Echo!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Making a Marsupial Cooing Sound

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Andrew: “Oh, God!”

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Andrew: “Okay. I don’t think that’s the… Okay.”

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Andrew: “Power out!”

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Andrew: “They’re other people in the world!”

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Andrew and Luke: Beta Mail Spoof

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Andrew and Luke: “Don’t call us. We’ll call you.”

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Andrew and Luke: “He loves these cans!! Stay away from the cans!! This man loves tonic and gin… too much!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m, I’m hiking it up to three houses away (Oh my God, Andrew) to find a place… (that’s awful) Look it, like, I’m… after a long day of podcasting… (Oh yeah) give me a major brark! For sharks!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Just kidding! Can you imagine? (It was Libby Denkmann) It was Libby ‘The Denk’ Denkmann!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Two brozos… brozing it up!”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Congratulations! You’re in!”

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Luke: “I’ve just been flapping my gums”

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Luke: “It runs from Darrell Hammond to Pam Poovey”

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Luke: “Money talks and bullshit walks. I gots to get my money!”

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Luke: “My man boobs are starting to come in, thanks to my… anti-baldness medicine”

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Luke: “Oh, shit!”

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Luke: Saying “Alright, it’s a Friday. Which means, we’ve got some Music For Your Weekend!” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: “See ya later, suckers. Chris Hayes, follow me on Twitter. Baba Booey!”

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Luke: “The Amazon Clappers of the world, et al”

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Luke and Andrew: “Back to… back to the, the Amazon Echo… The lady that lives in your Amazon Echo. KIIT. KITT. Back to KITT.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Bazinga! (Ohhhh!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I actually need you to… Cisco into my system, if you can and put that down as time and a half. Oh, now you’re flirting with me? I’m not gonna Cisco into your system, dude.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know why I can’t count, but I’ve been coming up short on underwear, a lot. Looking forward to the road trip.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It runs from Darrell Hammond to Pam Poovey. That’s right, from Darrell Hammond to Pam Poovey. Possible show title!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke accidentally said “Alexa” and has to put money into this “Google Home” jar

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Luke and Andrew: “So, I’m doing this call and response with the crowd that I didn’t even mean to start (Wow!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Someone’s gotta remove your terrible tattoos, it might as well be a Ten! That’s right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “What do you think is probably the number one barrier to entry for me taking part of anything. Let me think about that. I just, I, I just realized I asked a dangerous question.”

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Clips From TBTL #2388

Andrew: “After These Messages: After the Fact”

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Andrew: “Give me them cards! I need some cases, I need some closes; and, damn it, I need some listener comments, stat!”

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Andrew: “Hello… Luke… Burbank”

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Andrew: “It was grody”

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Andrew: “It’s so reasonable!”

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Andrew: “Like, and, sorta, you know, just”

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Andrew: “Like, you know, just sorta”

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Andrew: “Like… just, you know, sorta, he’s just like sorta, you know, like… I’m just sorta, know you, like”

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Andrew: “My dogs are Diet Barq’s-ing”

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Andrew: Saying “I won’t, be able, to talk, because, I’ve run…” as if he’s catching his breath and is wheezing

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah!” and laughing

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Andrew: “Suck it, Gallagher One! You’re not even Gallagher anymore.”

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Andrew: “That’s like straight out of a Reader’s Digest, on to our podcast!”

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Andrew: “Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

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Andrew: “‘Uh, Mr. Radke…’ I, I don’t know why you’re calling your best friend, ‘Mr. Radke’ either. You really are a weirdo. We have to talk about that.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Because, I shouldn’t say this. Cuz, this is gonna make you feel bad and it’s gonna get in your head, and I don’t want it (Oh, no) to; but, I want to be honest (Oh, no) with you. What do you think I’m gonna say?”

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Andrew and Luke: “But, I used to sit at home and watch so much stand-up comedy, starting, I think, my sophomore year; because… that’s the year my parents got a divorce. (Aww) Aww. Uh, and, no. It was great for me, actually. Cuz, then I got to move to the city and I lived with my dad, and we had cable television! All Carrot Top, all the time. Yes.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’ll cut this out. Don’t cut this out.”

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Andrew and Luke: “My diet dogs are Barq-ing”

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Andrew and Luke: Radio version of Luke Burbank, aka Burbank One, and Normal Burbank

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Luke: “I tend to take the Corky St. Clair approach: You record it, you record it, you record it, and then you forget it”

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Luke: “I’m gonna need eyes on your screen at all times”

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Luke: “Professor Banana Pants?”

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Luke: “Sorry, Christy. Just give me a minute on this”

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Luke: “Woah! I’m amped!”

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Luke and Andrew: “All Carrot Top, all the time. Yes.”

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Luke and Andrew: “And then, she says, ‘Chris Hayes, please follow me on Twitter’. (Oh, no!) Which is, which is, TBTL’s version of ‘Baba Booey’. Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: Card Reader not ATM “Machine”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everyone’s touched your fidget spinner, Andrew. It’s the town fidget spinner at this point.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everything I thought I knew about OCD is off. Keep the fidget spinner.”

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Luke and Andrew: Fidget Spinner, OCD and Sexual Arousal

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Luke and Andrew: “I gave the fidget spinner to Sherman Alexie. Yours. Oh, no, no, during the show, (yours) he borrowed it. (Yours) Goddamn it. Everyone’s touched your fidget spinner, Andrew. It’s the town fidget spinner at this point.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke took Andrew’s yellow fidget spinner and used it on stage

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “Pajamagram” in the manner of “Mahna Mahna”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is where the hot-air balloon comes in; (Yeah) because, it’s silent, but deadly… like me, in the RV. Oh, no.”

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Clips From TBTL #2387

On Friday, I got a shout out by Paula Poundstone on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert; and, that was mentioned on TBTL #2387. Below are longer clips from that mention and the discussion that was born from something that Paula said about panelists cheating and an e-mail I sent to Luke asking for his take on the comment.

Luke and Andrew: Discussing my shout out by Paula Poundstone on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

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Luke and Andrew: Luke answering question about “cheating” on Wait Wait

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Luke and Andrew: Discussion about Bill Kurtis

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Andrew and Luke: Potential issue with the suggestion for Wait Wait to give out points like Whose Line would be note keeping for the Wait Wait Stats Page

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Andrew: Andrew wants a new rule put in place where a sound is made when Andrew starts going too fast and uses filler words

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Andrew: Andrew’s “Slow The S Down” Warning Sound

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Andrew: “Baking soda!! I got baking soda!”

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Andrew: “I need to slow my S down”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Like, I’m sorta, you know, like, sorta, you know, like, like, like, sorta, you know”

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Andrew: “Oh… shoot!”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Soft Talk: After Dark”

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Andrew: “Soft Talk: After Dark. Why was everything sexual?”

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Andrew: “That’s perfect!!!”

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Andrew: “This is ‘merica”

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Andrew: “This is me not being able to take a compliment”

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Andrew: “Whoa-ha!!”

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Andrew: “Why was everything sexual?”

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Andrew: “Ya do care, Lukles. Ya care.”

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Andrew: “Yeee-uck!!”

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Luke: “And that’s an unfortunate metaphor. Is, um… or, it is an idiom? Or, am I just an idiot. I’m not sure.”

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Luke: “Bong!”

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Luke: “Da fuq”

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Luke: “I shit you not”

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Luke: “Linh… Pham… or, ‘Fom’ if you’re Paula Poundstone, is officially… the most… famous, or you could say, Pham-ous, TBTL listener in history.”

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Luke: “Our Top Story today comes to us… by way of The Paris Review, NBD!”

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Luke: Sleep Mode vs Flip Mode

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Luke: “There’s some… not just some dazzling deets; but, frightening deets that we will lay on you… when we get to that story.”

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Luke: “This is… bullshit, man! I can’t do anything fun here, man!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I had one and it’s somewhere in this house. The problem with the iPod Nano, Andrew, is that they’ve made it (So small) so small that you can now lose it… very easily.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What are you laughing at? All of this. I’m answering Linh’s question! I, no, no, I know… I know, I’m sorry… just… But… but, you care… ya do care, Lukles. Ya care.”

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Luke and Andrew: WTF: What The Fam [ph]

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Luke and Andrew: “You smell me dog? I smell ya dog. I smell your sour dogs.”

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Clips From TBTL #2384

Luke and Andrew have been thanking and reading and/or playing special messages for Dazzling Donors from last year’s TBTL-a-thon for a couple of weeks; and, TBTL #2384, in a collector’s series, it was my turn to be thanked. The last two times, Luke and Andrew ad-libbed my Dazzling Donor messages and I opted for the same this time around. It was even better with Steve Neuman on the show and jumping into the fun as well.

Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: TBTL Dazzling Donor Message

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Andrew: “Because, basically, we will be canned heat… inside that thing”

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Andrew: “Is the man of the house home?”

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Andrew: “Like to squeeze the soul out of the show”

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Andrew: “Luke, are you getting a little, getting a little whiff of the RV on that one?”

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Andrew: Making a laser sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound

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Andrew: Making a sharp shooting sound #2

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Andrew: “No!!”

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Andrew: “No!!! Shut it down, America!”

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Andrew: “That’s gonna come back to, to haunt me”

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Andrew: “Umm, I don’t know why… I cared”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? I’ll let Linh tell me what it sounds like. I’m not taking it from you today. Fair enough.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You were drankgry? I was… maybe mostly drangry”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Have you ever done this sober? No. No! No!! God, no! That’s just wrong.”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: “Burbank residence. Is that how we answer the phone now?”

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Carey Burbank and Luke: Carey usually laughs when she’s on a carnival ride and will laugh at Luke if he’s on it as well

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Carey Burbank, Andrew and Luke: “What a way to go, right!? No!! You’re having fun, right? (No) No, you’re not having fun when your body is, is breaking into a million pieces on top of the ticket hut.”

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Luke: “A five dollar Friday edition… of the program that might just be Too Beautiful To Live!”

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Luke: “He’s the Pham, he’s the Pham-nary in the coal mine”

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Luke: “Hey, Linh! There’s a new thing you like less than Super Pham!”

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Luke: “I don’t like to use this word; I was even hangry”

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Luke: “If this breaks loose, we are dead. D-E-D”

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Luke: “Linh… Pham, our Super Pham! I think it hates it when I say that; but… that’s not gonna stop me. Hasn’t stopped me yet.”

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Luke: “Maria Bamford is one of, one of y’all. Is ‘Y’all’ the wrong term?”

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Luke: “MSNBC and Chill”

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Luke: “Save it. Save it for the show. Share it with the Tens of listeners.”

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Luke: “So, Andrew, ad-lib something funny about Linh Pham and his Marsupial Gurgle site”

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Luke: “The crazy part is: What. I’m. Saying. Right. Now. Will. Be. A drop on Marsupial Gurgle.”

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Luke: “Wait a second!”

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Luke: “Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second”

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Luke: “We’d like to… welcome new sponsor, Surly Brewing Company”

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Luke: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa… whoa. Whoa. Whoa.”

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Luke: “Will you do me a kindness?”

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Luke: “‘Woo’ Tang, baby. She rocks the world”

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Luke: “You never go full y’all”

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Luke: “You’ve all heard about it. You all know about it. All the kids are talking about it.”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Can you imagine a festival for roadies, put together (by roadies) by carnies”

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Luke, Carey Burbank and Steve Neuman: “But now that people are… falling out of the ferris wheel in Port Townsend, I think you see my point, right? No, I don’t. I don’t see it at all, actually. That was not the answer that Luke wanted. Oh, by the way, hi Carey, it’s Stu from Internet. Oh, hi, Stu-bot.”

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Luke, Steve Neuman and Andrew: Doo-oh vs Dye-oh

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Steve Neuman: “Yeah, there’s not a lot of metaphor in Toby Keith songs”

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Steve Neuman: “Your honky-tonk ba-donk-a-donk”

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Steve Neuman, Andrew and Luke: “I think you muted me. I’m sorry, what were you saying? Get the hint, Stu.”

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Steve Neuman, Luke and Andrew: Andrew threw shade on Black Sabbath by saying it wasn’t Rock ‘n’ Roll

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