Andrew: “All edge… no point”

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Andrew: “Boots and cats. Boots and cats and boots and cats”

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Andrew: “I don’t even read the shit”

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Andrew: “I don’t know how this shit works”

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Andrew: “I think I’ll be calling in with my ‘Ahoy-hoy’ phone”

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Andrew: “I think that I am your emotional support clown”

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Andrew: “I’m also Andrew number eight”

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Andrew: “Is that what white privilege is? I think that might be part of it”

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Andrew: “Jesus Christ! Is there anything that can be… spared the loyalty point system?”

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Andrew: “Mmm, yeah. That’s the real stuff. Yeah”

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Andrew: “Oh my… Christ!”

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Andrew: Saying “In the meantime” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: “So, I’m just releasing desire on spoilers”

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Andrew: “They have a picture of me licking a landjäger”

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Andrew: “To be born, to be chicken. Too clever, to be too chicken”

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Andrew: “To be born, to be posh. To be born, to be posh. To be born, to be posh… To be brrn, to be pssh”

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Andrew: “To be brrn, to be pssh”

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Andrew: Whispering “Boots and cats and boots and cats”

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Andrew: Whispering “Boots and cats, boots and cats” but without the vowels

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Andrew: Whispering “Boots and pants, boots and pants”

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Andrew: “Whoa!!”

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Andrew: “Wow, um, well, uh, wow”

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Andrew: “You know, I have no tattoos. I have no plan to get tattoos. I don’t want needles in my body”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew describing what he does to test a landjäger that he’s never had before

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew thought Myrtle Beach was in North Carolina and called North Carolinians, “North Carolinans”

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Luke: “And, it freaked my chili”

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Luke: “And, then… take out the ‘oot’s and ‘at’s”

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Luke: Beatboxing

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Luke: Beatboxing #2

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Luke: Beatboxing #3

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Luke: Beatboxing #4

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Luke: “Because… who… the… bleep knows what will have actually happened… this weekend”

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Luke: “Boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats”

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Luke: “Cam Newton’s broken”

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Luke: “Cam Newton’s got probs”

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Luke: “Cuz, think about it man… Like… only taking ‘No’ for an answer, man; like… wow. Like, think about it”

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Luke: “I don’t really care that much”

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Luke: “I mean, the moral of this story is: I suck”

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Luke: “I said bonvoy to my privacy”

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Luke: “In West Sacramento, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days”

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Luke: “My laziness is stronger than my sense of, my need for privacy”

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Luke: Quietly saying “Boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats. Boo… tsch”

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Luke: “This poor summa bitch”

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Luke: Whispering “Boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats, boots and cats”

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Luke: “Zeelandia!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s no comment on Narnia or the work of… Tolkien… That’s Tolkeen [ph] or Tolken [ph]? It’s… C.S. Lewis”

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Andrew: “Crack, pop… you know, just bop-bop-bop-bop-bop”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I don’t know. I’m learning this all with you!”

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Andrew: “Farewell, nuts”

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Andrew: “I have… pistachio thumb this morning”

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Andrew: “I know I have a very thin skin”

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Andrew: “I was really something!”

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Andrew: “I’m not curious about lyrics the way you are; so, my brain just was like… it just garbled it, like, ‘Blah, blah, blah, be my little baby'”

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Andrew: “It’s a beautiful shirt!”

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Andrew: “Of all the gross things about me, that is not one of ’em”

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Andrew: Singing “If you could read my mind, love”

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Andrew: “There is something seriously wrong with me!”

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Andrew and Luke: “They see some (Right!) shit, man! (No… Yeah, exactly)”

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Luke: “Amuse-pooch?”

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Luke: “Aw, shit!!”

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Luke: “Fudge Truffle Kadunkadunk”

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Luke: “I trim mine, grossly enough, with my teeth, usually while watching sports”

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Luke: “I’m not a superhero; but, I once made a lame joke to George W. Bush. So, close enough”

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Luke: “Just the sweet… sweet nut meats”

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Luke: “My favorite part was when they gave us the Eddie Money”

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Luke: “Nah… bro”

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Luke: “Oh my God! We can fucking die from this”

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Luke: Saying “Crash into me” as Onyx the Fortuitous

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Luke: Saying “I’m the dirty rascal and you’re the king of the castle” as Onyx the Fortuitous

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Luke and Andrew: “Wow! All I can say is, ‘Wow!’ (Wow!)”

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Andrew: “Andy’s World”

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Andrew: “No, that’s not right! There would never be one in my mouth”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m a big fan of yours!”

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Andrew: “We’re gonna need a new Andrew!”

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Andrew: “What the hell is wrong with you?”

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Andrew: “You don’t like the shape of your ba-ady”

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Luke: “Alexander Nevermind”

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Luke: “Jabba’s House!”

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Luke: “So, I’m dog-less… Dog-less… in Bellingham”

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Luke: “They are nasty out there”

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Andrew: “Amen!”

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Andrew: “Dude, Coldplay sucks!”

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Andrew: “Dude, did you just give me the middle toe!?”

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Andrew: “I hate Coldplay! They suck!”

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Andrew: “I need to walk, walk, walk! Keep walking! Keep walking!”

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Andrew: “I will not touch mushrooms again in my life”

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Andrew: “I’m not some, like, right-wing radio, hot-takey, y’all are a bunch of snowflakes kinda guy… cuz, you’re not”

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Andrew: “My God! What is that from? When did I say that? Is that new?”

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Andrew: “Nice! I love that story!”

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Andrew: “That’s me, man; whatever it is!”

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Andrew: “Thick and sin”

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Andrew: “Uh, I could add examples; but, I don’t think I really want to, frankly”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew trying to see if he can continue to be on TBTL and not have his microphone on or if he has to start thinking about what he says

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m looking for some mushroom pizza; you know what I’m talking about (Yeah. Right, exactly… Yeah)”

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Listener: Singing “Barpin’ on Heaven’s Door”

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Luke: “Good job, idiots!”

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Luke: “Have you seen my physical body lately? I do… all the carbs”

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Luke: “I know how to do this!!”

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Luke: “Like, you barp, like, nobody’s watching… for days on end”

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Luke: “Matisyahu Mouse”

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Luke: “Nobody out-Jacks the Box”

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, opposable thumbs… you know, it’s kinda what we’re known for… It’s kind of our… thing”

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Luke and Andrew: “You will be completely nude… Oh! Well, that makes me right out of the game”

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Andrew: “Explicit… Ooh!”

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Andrew: “He was just neck beard guy again”

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Andrew: “Hello… I’m here, or something. I’m, I’m ruining that; and, Stu-bot’s head is exploding right now as he listens”

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Andrew: “I am off today. I’m not being a good… co-barp at all”

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Andrew: “I feel bad for barping on your story”

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Andrew: “I might be making it more explicit… Ooh!”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “It will… It will make the brown sound”

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Andrew: “Let’s do the Barpman!”

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Andrew: “Ooh! I… I did it! I offended left-handers!”

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Andrew: “Part of the Twitterati, blah, blah, blah”

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Andrew: “This is where things get real Luke Burbank-y”

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Andrew: “This is why you scan things before you play them on the show!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, there it is. Hey-hey!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Never. Nerver… Norver… Borver (Okay)”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? You, you… you play in the mud, you get dirty. Let’s not go there (Yeah)”

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Luke: “Bigote Burbo”

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Luke: “Congratulations, dummies”

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Luke: “Could you be my fact-checking cuz on that?”

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Luke: “Cowabunga, dude”

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Luke: “Eat my blorps!”

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Luke: “God, that number… just grows ever closer to three thousand, doesn’t it? I guess that’s how counting works”

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Luke: “I consider him to, sort of, be… the Barp Simpson… of podcasting”

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Luke: “I’m not a scientist… I’m just a humble podcaster”

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Luke: “La Leyenda de Bigote Burbo”

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Luke: “La Leyenda de Bigote Burbo… The Legend… the Legend of Moustache Burbs”

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Luke: “Le Batard is the dessert… but, you need to finish your TBTL first. Okay?”

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Luke: “Look at this badass”

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Luke: Making a sliding down sound

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Luke: “No more Mister Nicing”

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Luke: “Papa needs… Papa needs a new pair of shoes. Get me that ladder”

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Luke: Singing “Can you hear me, can you hear me running”

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Luke: Singing “Pop-O-Matic! It’s a game called Trouble. Every time you pop the bubble, you get in and out of Trouble. Pop-O-Matic!”

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Luke: “There’s a hall of fame party in my heart!”

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Luke: “Who scats the Scatman?”

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Luke: “Woke washing?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Barp. Barp”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, well, thanks. So, I’m the asshole. Cool. I’m just saying”

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Luke and Andrew: “Power barp. Power barp”

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Luke and Andrew: “You, you miss all of the shots you don’t take, Andrew… But, I also miss all of the shots I do take; so, why try?”

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