Andrew: “First of all… this is gonna offend some people”

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Andrew: “Fuzzy kinda punky pop”

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Andrew: “Good morning, America!”

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Andrew: “I don’t think it’s a stinky smell I’m putting out there”

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Andrew: “I think it’s a tautology”

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Andrew: “It is nasty out there”

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Andrew: “Like, I’m not a real stinky person”

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Andrew: “Like, what the fuck happened!?”

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Andrew: “Smell-slash-poop hole”

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Andrew: “This is one… sexy donor song, right here”

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Andrew: “This is the oldest man-y thing I can say right now”

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Andrew: “We’ve reached Andrew Walsh at the Emoji Research Institute, based in Los Angeles, California… He says that he’s pretty agnostic when it comes to emoji usage; however, we should consider… the negative effects of having too many emojis when trying to text… quickly”

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Andrew: “What is this thing?”

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Andrew: “You know, I don’t have a huge… Doug on this flight”

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Andrew and Luke: “Did I just take the piss out (Yeah) of this for you?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, I just want the bomb one; because, I just… I’m blowing this text chain up, or… whatever (Sure)”

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Luke: “Cthulhu”

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Luke: “Houston… we have an Andrew!”

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Luke: “I told you this was a thing!!”

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Luke: “Right now, it just looks like a weirdo nose”

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Luke: Saying “We told you there was a cliff!!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Ding-dong, ding-dong”

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Luke: Singing “Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong”

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Luke: “The scent of an Andrew”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can we use the word ‘jizzing out’ please? Oh, God! Wow! Good morning, America!”

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Luke and Andrew: “He demises and returns? Oh, Christ. Am I wrong about this?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I apologize to people outside of the Northwest at how I say the word ‘bagel’… It’s pronounced ‘boogle’… It’s pronounced… ‘Michelle'”

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Andrew: “And, I think we even had her on our talk show. Kinda–I think it was my talk show; cuz, I remember being somewhat against my will”

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Andrew: “But, you kind of owe me a thank you; because, I was damn close to asking him how the 4K situation plays into this”

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Andrew: “Constantly going to laundromats looking for the one. Everybody knows that feeling. You’re looking for… the one”

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Andrew: “I dunno why I think about greeting card… writers a lot; but, I do”

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Andrew: “I guess I’m just like a Princess and the Pea over here”

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Andrew: Saying “I would run one thousand miles” in a stilted manner

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Andrew: “Sorry… I’m getting my Crossfire on”

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Andrew: “What is this, Cool Club!?”

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Andrew: “What the fuck!!?”

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Andrew: “You punt where the Canucks are”

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Luke: “Hear that, Rudy? I deserve some respect around here… Forty-two years old… I drive a Dodge Stratus”

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Luke: “I might fuck around and make some more crackers tonight, Andrew. That might happen”

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Luke: “I’m not trying to interrupt your flow state”

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Luke: “I’m on the road to Wellville… here with this stuff”

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Luke: “I’ve had that zit for… thirty yea–for twenty plus years”

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Luke: “It’s good cop, rude cop”

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Luke: Making a buzzer-like sound

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Luke: “Operation… Cracker Ranch… is going well”

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Luke: Singing “Hang me up to dry!”

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Luke: Singing “Now, we’re the Cold War Kids!”

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Luke: “This tastes like mayo!!!”

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Luke: “What do we need clouds for?”

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Luke: “Who runs this place?”

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Luke: “Whoa!!”

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Luke: “Wow. Well, I guess, then, we know you’re a freaking liar when you say things like this, ‘I agree with everything that you said'”

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Luke and Andrew: “On behalf of The Church of Scientology… Australia (Thank you) is a beautiful country… Rich and diverse”

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Luke and Andrew: “You tunt where the Cucks are… Oh, no! (I cannot believe you just told that joke) No, go back the ducks thing! Go back to the ducks thing!”

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Andrew: “And, the thing is, like, everybody at the front desk was super nice. They were also super young, and super beautiful, and super hip”

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Andrew: “And, this is where I’m a terrible person to date… or just be around”

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Andrew: “I felt so uncomfortable and like such an old… fat, flubby-dubby… like, looks like he just got off the bus from Ohio guy, waiting in, in, outside of these brunch spots”

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Andrew: “I guess I could be the test tube on that”

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Andrew: “I was so goddamn insecure”

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Andrew: “I’m overweight and eat too much junk”

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Andrew: “Like… waiting… for brunch in Santa Monica… is… the bad place… for me”

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Andrew: “Oh! Oh! Oh… God, yeah!”

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Andrew: Saying “My relationship with food is not healthy” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Oh my God, this is a lotta food” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, yeah. Take this shame away from me” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “This is Andrew brain here. This is gonna get in some real weird territory. Okay?”

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Andrew: “Wait. What?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I gotta say, like, I have a pretty good job with TBTL; but, everybody knows that Genevieve really brings home the bagels”

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Andrew and Luke: “Would you say I shouldn’t slurp my wings? Hey, I mean if they’ve… if you’ve got the diapers… I’ve got the time”

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Luke: “Have you been to Hollywood?”

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Luke: “I am so good at working my way through white, male journalism models”

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Luke: “I went to this thing yesterday; and, I went on just a long… as I, as I’m want to do… I wanna make a long journey in my heart… in my mind… with my ego, Andrew, with my insecurity”

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Luke: “I would be at that thing. I would trying to be a vlogger, or a blogger, or a Viner… or a joker, or a midnight toker”

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Luke: “It was the intersection of wokeness… and commerce”

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Luke: Singing “Waiting for the brunch!”

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Luke: “Take me to… your leader”

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Luke: “What the eff?”

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Luke: “What… would George Plimpton do?”

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Luke: “Why am I doing this right now?”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “Waiting for the brunch!” and Andrew saying “Yeah!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, clowns to the left of you… Microsofties to the right (Coders to the right)”

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