Andrew: “And catch one in the middle”

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Andrew: “Aw, man. I ruined that tweet. Sorry, tweeter”

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Andrew: “I like ’em both”

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Andrew: “I’m a human being; and, we all love going to the park”

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Andrew: “I’m a hundred percent with you Lucas [ph]“

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Andrew: “I’m a hundred percent with you Luke”

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Andrew: “Is it my cat? Is it Theo?”

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Andrew: “It is not… filthy”

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Andrew: “Listen to just… hours and hours and hours of… Le Batard”

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Andrew: “Never, never, never going to have that conversation again”

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Andrew: “Ooh! I think you can say either”

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Andrew: “Whatever. God! Can we start over?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew singing “J.G. Wentworth!” and Luke saying “It’s my money and I want it now!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t mean that in a sexual way… ‘kay. Well, speak for yourself”

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Luke: “Because we have a, a special unnamed, unpaid audio producer, who sends me… like… ten… drops of you every day”

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Luke: “Forget it… Let’s just move on”

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Luke: “I’ve cornered the market on these Satan shoes”

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Luke: “My brain is so corrupted”

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Luke: “My brain is so corrupted by this NFT and crypto… world”

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Luke: “Oh, no. Don’t… don’t do it! Don’t… do it”

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Luke: Saying “It’s my money… and I want it now!!” in a Cockney accent

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Luke: Saying “Weird!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Well, I’ve stopped listening to Le Batard… because, you’ve started; which, is my kink. I can’t listen to anything… you’re listening to”

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Luke: “What!?!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do not Zillow that house… (Mm-mm) Luke, later tonight… when you’ve had a couple; because… you will cry”

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Luke and Andrew: “Etsy has hit my flabbergast button (Right)”

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Andrew: “But, it’s back, baby!”

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Andrew: “Cuz, if I treat people how I wanna be treated… people are gonna be having a lotta shitty birthdays”

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Andrew: “Don’t Smurf it up!”

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Andrew: “Good morning, Luke. I’m happy to tell you that there are zero… side effects with the Pfizer vaccine; and, I’m the same Andrew I always was”

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Andrew: “I can usually keep it mostly off my fingers”

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Andrew: “I enjoy doing the show; and, I enjoy eating”

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Andrew: “I’ll definitely be cringing my way through some of this too”

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Andrew: “I’ll throw my dignity… on the floor”

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Andrew: “I’m just… know you… just being a big baby about it”

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Andrew: “Let me tell you… how I’m gonna burn bridges with the Mariners”

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Andrew: “No! No! No! No-no-no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, I bought Bugles!”

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Andrew: Saying “Weird” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Weird”

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Andrew: “Who am I? Don’t… don’t Smurf it up!”

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Andrew: “You know, I either go high like this sometimes; and, then, I go low like this”

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Andrew: “You’re gonna hit a soggy spot”

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Luke: “By Brendan!”

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Luke: “Hellman’s is other people’s mayo!”

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Luke: “Hey, Lloyd!! Hell… is other people!”

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Luke: “It’s pretty obvious to everybody that I need help”

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Luke: “Mayo is other people’s Hellman’s”

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Luke: Saying “Ya ever seen this move?” as Sebastian Maniscalco

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Luke: “The Golden Rule kinda is bullshit”

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It’s that time of season where Luke and Andrew read the Dazzling Donor messages again. I was hoping that Luke and Andrew would actually give me a gentle roasting or ribbing. Alas, that may have to wait until next time around.

Luke and Andrew: Dazzling Donor message

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Andrew: “Cuz, my Internet took a hit”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why I would bring this up… It is against my best interest”

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Andrew: “I don’t think they go ham on the spice, I think they put the spice on the ham”

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Andrew: “I don’t usually… get high off my own supply”

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Andrew: “I wish I hadn’t done that”

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Andrew: “It has been… an absolute Godsend. It has been an absolute Linh-send”

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Andrew: “That drop really got me”

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Andrew: “Wed-nes-day”

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Luke: “Chet Burbs?”

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Luke: “Key change, baby!”

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Luke: Saying “Weird!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Singing “Working on the weekend, like usual”

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Luke: “The daytime… should be fine; as, opposed to, the nighttime”

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Luke: “The one… the only, Linh Pham”

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Luke: “Uh-oh”

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Luke: “We’re not using those damn headphones again, Andrew”

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Luke: “You just kinda look the other way and ya… just… you know… think about… Mother England”

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Luke and Andrew: “Welcome… And… we’re sorry”

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Andrew: “And, I don’t care!”

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Andrew: “Assistance needed at the liquor counter”

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Andrew: “But, I… drink a lot”

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Andrew: “Chet Haze is out of his damn mind”

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Andrew: “I am worried that I am in trouble”

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Andrew: “I can never keep them in my head!”

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Andrew: “I can’t keep my Dakotas straight”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if it’s doing it earlier in the morning or if I’m just getting soft in the head and soft in the mouth… But, I can also hear that coming back to haunt me”

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Andrew: “I feel high!”

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Andrew: “I need to leave the lid off… then, seal that baby up”

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Andrew: “I would’ve never known that!”

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Andrew: “I’m just getting soft in the head and soft in the mouth”

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Andrew: “I’m so bougie”

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Andrew: “It’s the right way to remember the wrong way to say his name”

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Andrew: “Just… don’t hit that L so hard, buddy”

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Andrew: “Like, I wanna hang up on you right now”

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Andrew: “Maybe just don’t. Like, maybe just don’t”

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Andrew: “Now, when I’m on the spot, behind a microphone… all information just flees my brain”

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Andrew: “Surprise, surprise. I want some booze”

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Andrew: “That’s what the spinning wheel told me to do”

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Andrew: “This is gonna be a, a strange thing to say”

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Andrew: “This… really speaks to me”

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Andrew: “What is your plan here!?”

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Luke: “Baby… you’re the… you’re the right way to remember the wrong kinda night”

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Luke: “It really is white boy summer”

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Luke: “The LB has landed”

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Luke: “Yama-kippi-yay-be [ph]“

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Andrew: Drawn out “Biz-naz [ph]“

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Andrew: “I like learning… sort of”

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Andrew: “I think we might have dried the river. I think we might have reversed the river. I don’t know what we did”

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Andrew: “I will say it’s very rare that I, with my pickled brain, remembers something like that”

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Andrew: “I’m fumbling about”

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Andrew: “Let me just do a little bit of business here”

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Andrew: “Luke and I would like to cash in now… We’re done!”

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Andrew: “Maybe do a Google while I talk”

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Andrew: “Oh, I shouldn’t touch it!”

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, I don’t?” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Something about [bleeped], right?”

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Andrew: “That leans more towards having more fun than I thought I was gonna have”

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Andrew: “There’s no way that I used a winky face, anyway; cuz, I don’t use winky face”

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Andrew: “This is a real problem with my life”

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Andrew: “Turns out… that’s not how it works”

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Luke: “And that thick beard is in Oregon”

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Luke: “Confused and holding in a fart”

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Luke: “Like, I always look, kind of, I don’t know… how I would describe the… emotion on my face; but, it’s somewhere between… confused and holding in a fart”

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Luke: “Lookin’s free. Touching will cost ya”

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Luke: Making a pained sound

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Luke: Singing “Dry me a river”

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Luke: “They have a weird… funky smell to them, that I… associate it with… the dy(e)ing process, I think”

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Luke and Andrew: “Uh, maestro. Mmm-kay. I knew that was gonna happen. I got so in my head about playing that audio. Gotta go back to the Dazzling Donors. It’s all fine… It’s good. Nobody noticed”

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Andrew: “Do I like the randomness of it; or, do I not know what it’s a reference to?”

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Andrew: “Don’t… touch… anything!”

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Andrew: “Fir God’s sakes, Walsh!”

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Andrew: “From my cold, dead hands”

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Andrew: “Get to know me!”

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Andrew: “How does your body move that way?”

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Andrew: “I could really use a win here!”

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Andrew: “I love buttons”

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Andrew: “I was way… more into the Fletch-iverse than you were”

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Andrew: “I’m a basket case to this day because of it”

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Andrew: “I’m a scaredy cat”

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Andrew: “Luke and I need a chance to… talk about our feelings for a second too”

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Andrew: “People can give me gif(t)s”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: “Someone once said… ‘You don’t grip a baseball… a baseball grips you'”

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Andrew: “That’s how creaky my body is”

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Listener Shari: “Please be considerate of others… Do not put your feet on the seat”

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Luke: “‘Big Country’ by Big Country off the album ‘Big Country'”

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Luke: “Do you even hood ornament, bro?”

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Luke: “I don’t think I knew you could pull it out and… punch it back in”

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Luke: “I’m a big feet-seat… putter onner”

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Luke: Making button clunking sounds

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Luke: “No, that’s not me. I’m not into that yoga shit”

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Luke: Saying “No, that’s not me. I’m not into that yoga shit” as Columbo

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Luke: Scatting

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Luke: “Simmer down, Stu”

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Luke: “Thanks, spell check”

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Luke: “We got a beautiful, warm episode”

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