Andrew: Andrew needs a show title
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Andrew: “Did you say one is called the ‘Flipper-Flopper’?”
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Andrew: “He’s in between meows right now.”
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Andrew: “Huge left turn here.”
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Andrew: “I apologize, everybody, for being a liar on this show.”
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Andrew: “I do feel like, I was in a, I said a lot of weird, weird-ass shit today; and, I apologize for that. I don’t think I’m fully here.”
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Andrew: “I don’t think you should write it down.”
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Andrew: “I don’t want to sound like a, a, a poopy pants.”
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Andrew: “I love being home, even when I’m home all the time. I’m not even kidding!”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Perfect!”
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Andrew: “Mr. Gorbachev, buttress that pillar!”
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Andrew: “Not that you’re not interesting, Luke. You’re very interesting.”
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Andrew: “Oh my God.”
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Andrew: “Think about it people… Think about it!”
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Andrew: “This is how I become a liar. This is we all become liars.”
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Andrew: “Well, what’ya think, ya dummies!”
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Andrew and Luke: Andrew acted like he was pretty high
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Andrew and Luke: “How many times do you interrupt yourself just to say, ‘You’re listening to Luke Burbank, Seattle’s News, Seattle’s Half-Broken Patient’? All the time? Yes. (Okay) All the time.”
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Andrew and Luke: “I also apologize for what I’m about to say… Okay.”
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Andrew and Luke: “I’ll jump to the point, let’s try something new. Ha!!!”
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Andrew and Luke: “That is your classic ‘Oh, Andrew’ moment right there. Ugh, so painful! (Oh, man)”
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Luke: “Clear your mind, everybody, and the rest will follow. Be color blind and don’t be so shallow. In the words of En Vogue.”
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Luke: Doing a Ronald Reagan impression, saying “Well, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall and make this open-concept kitchen.”
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Luke: Doing an impression of his wife doing an impression of Tarek El Moussa saying “When you see mold, your blood runs cold.”
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Luke: “Ha!!!”
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Luke: “I consider him, really, an innocent champion of honesty.”
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Luke: “I don’t know if the podcast can have interesting stuff”
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Luke: Laughing
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Luke: Reading a haiku sent in by Dazzling Donor Matthew Lang with the wrong cadance
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Luke: “Sweet, sweet haiku.”
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Luke: “Thank God!”
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Luke: “This right here, what you’re listening to, this is the podcart that might just be Too Beautiful To Live.”
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Luke: “Yay!”
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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew, let’s not turn this into a busy-off, okay? Let’s not, yes… Let’s not turn this into a bizzing contest.”
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Luke and Andrew: “Because I only need therapy every other week, Andrew. I’m not that messed up… Yeah, you’re, you’re… You’re only half-broken.”
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Luke and Andrew: Swaddler
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