Andrew: “As you know, I’m a big morning person, that’s why we did the show at the crack of, just like, the crack of dawn yesterday at, like, 10 AM; or, some crazy thing like that.”
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Andrew: “Holy shit!”
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Andrew: “I don’t have words to describe it”
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Andrew: “I get bent out of shape sometimes when people are kind of like, ‘I threw my phone across the room when Andrew got a fact wrong.’ Oh my God, I need a thicker skin”
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Andrew: “I’m not kidding”
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Andrew: “It was amazing!”
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Andrew: Laughing
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Andrew: Laughing #2
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Andrew: Laughing #3
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Andrew: Laughing #4
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Andrew: “Of the dumb shit I say on this show, I’m oddly embarrassed about that one; cuz, all these people, there’s an ongoing thread on Facebook… ‘Has anyone told Andrew, yet, that the election was in 2000 and not 2001?'”
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Andrew: “Oh, no.”
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Andrew: “Sorry if I’m a little slappy”
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Andrew: “Umm… Yeah. Uhhh, I’m…. I’m, I’m gonna say one quick thing”
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Andrew: “Wait… What the hell is this?”
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Andrew: “Well, you promised me! So, that was my imitation of me, by the way; which, is accurate.”
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Andrew: “What the fuck did I just watch?”
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Andrew: “What’s wrong with Andrew”
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Andrew: “When you said that guy, everybody was hoping you meant Chris Hayes”
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Andrew: “Whoa!”
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Andrew: “Wow. Wow.”
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Andrew: “Wow. Wow. That’s, this is… God, I’m glad I don’t work in TV. I’m not kidding.”
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Andrew: “Yeah!”
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Andrew and Luke: “Are you there? There, I’ve been there. I done been there. You’ve always been there.”
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Andrew and Luke: “What ocean is that in? Andrew… I swear to God, it is too late, here in Puerto Rico, for me to be answering ocean-related questions.”
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Luke: “And, tell you… about Andrew, Chris Hayes and the Stu-bot’s trip into viral… Twitter-dom today”
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Luke: “Euugh, what’s going on with them?”
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Luke: “How about, what’s wrong with Luke?”
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Luke: “I know that’s a lot of Ps, dude. I know that’s a lot of Ps, pal.”
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Luke: “I use the name Ked, because it matters.”
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Luke: “I wish I could’ve given you a better episode. I can’t…”
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Luke: “I’ve piña colada’d it away”
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Luke: “Silver lining alert: You’re not losing your mind”
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Luke: “Snitches get stitches”
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Luke: “Well, I ain’t no Holloware girl”
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Luke: “Well, that’s eleven minutes that you’ll never get back as a listener”
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Luke and Andrew: “At this point, my hair is more spun sugar than it is hair. Paint your bald spot? I, I don’t wear a wig. Paint your bald spot? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay, (I don’t wear a wig) let’s not go there. Let’s not, let’s not take something that was funny and just ruin it.”
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Luke and Andrew: “But a couple of weeks ago, Pappo went radio silent. Is Pappo related to Bear?”
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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t think Pappo is gonna be at the coconut factory! Who are you interviewing? We don’t even know! Son of Pappo. Son of Pappo. Son of a Pappo, neither me or the producer speak passable Spanish, Andrew. Oh, no.”
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Luke and Andrew: “If you’re hearing this on Wednesday, you are a time traveler. (Mmm-hmm) And, we all worship you as a god living on this planet; because, you shouldn’t be hearing this show on Wednesday.”
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Luke and Andrew: “It’s good news for Hayes. Yes. Bad news for Walshski.”
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Luke and Andrew: “Thank you from the bottom of our hearts… Say it! (We really appreciate it) Say it! You heard, (You wanna say it) you heard me considering it. Say it! Thank you from the Steve Bartman from our hearts.”
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Luke and Andrew: “We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. By that time, in the space-time continuum of this program, I will have been to Cuba with Dave Ross over six times. You didn’t tell me about this! Well, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t over promise on Cuba, as it relates to you.”
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