Linh Pham

  • Clips From TBTL #2637: Luke Burbank Edition

    Luke: “Andrew, this is why you play the game”

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    Luke: “Because, that stuff rules!”

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    Luke: “But, I need… to get eyes on that ice cream!”

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    Luke: “Cowabunga, dude!”

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    Luke: Cute Laugh

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    Luke: Cute Laugh #2

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    Luke: “For folks that don’t know, or don’t care”

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    Luke: “It was so… effing good!”

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    Luke: “Mahalo means… hello… and goodbye. Mahalo!”

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    Luke: “Meow!”

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    Luke: “Not today, Satan”

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    Luke: “Rat-a-tat Zak… of Zakings… Guess who’s Zak in the motherfucking house?”

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    Luke: “Really?”

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    Luke: Saying “Mahalo!” in a funny manner

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    Luke: Singing “Happy, happy birthday. Meow!”

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    Luke: Singing “I’ll reverse Porky’s you… like you want me to”

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    Luke: Singing “There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance. There’s a hole in the wall where the boys can see it all”

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    Luke: Singing a truncated funky bass line

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    Luke: “Sorry I’m getting heated”

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    Luke: “That sounds dirty”

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    Luke: “Uhh, that sounds scary”

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    Luke: “You’ll get nothing and like it!!”

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    Luke and Andrew: “And, the nice lady, who’s now asked him, like, four times to please come down and put his fingerprint on my bald medicine… That sounds dirty… His fingerprints are all over that baldness medicine”

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    Luke and Andrew: “But, my concern over time became… that Yousef might’ve thought that I was sexing him. Mmm-hmm. Because, he… The fact that you call it, ‘sexing,’ makes me think that you’re not ready for this. I do all the different ways, Andrew”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Guess what? We got too many pictures on our wall! And, some of them are in small frames! And, some of them are crooked; but, you can’t straighten them! Okay. Yeah, yeah. You’ve seen the Statue of Liberty. Have you seen it holding a burger? Who can handle this merriment?”

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    Luke and Andrew: Having a good laugh

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    Luke and Andrew: “I ordered my bacon extra not flaccid… Mmm, okay. Oh, you had turgid bacon? I ate tumescent bacon!”

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    Luke and Andrew: “I was sitting there… at Burbank Springs yesterday for, like, a good half hour just playing the sound effects, just delighting myself. Oh, and I’ll bet you everybody in the house was happy that he got you that as well. Umm… now that I think about it… no, actually. (Really?) It was, it was annoying to everyone else”

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    Luke and Andrew: “It’s my birthday week, bishes! (Right)”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Man! I’ll tell you what I did with these hot dogs… Oh, God! Is that how we got here? Yeah, we did. This is turning into a real hot dog story”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Ooh! Explicit! Ooooh!”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Seriously? Oh, God. You’re not, not even in the ballpark”

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    Luke and Andrew: Singing Happy, happy birthday, may all your dreams come true! Happy, happy birthday da-da-da-da-da-da! Yeah!”

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    Luke and Andrew: “The more that we move into the future of broadcast technology. I don’t mean us as a show. (No) We’re lagging, we’re a lagging indicator”

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    Luke and Andrew: “There’s an app that you can put on your iPad; which, I had a long time ago. (Me too) Although, there is that, there’s that latency. We’re really just doing this. At what point do we become the official podcast… of… slightly outdated radio technology?”

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    Luke and Andrew: “You’re joking! No, I’m not”

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  • Clips From TBTL #2637: Andrew Walsh Edition

    Andrew: “Awesome! Thanks for the message! Surfs up!”

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    Andrew: “Can I just watch TV now!?”

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    Andrew: “Disco Walsh don’t advertise”

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    Andrew: “Dude’s going to the gym. I’m not”

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    Andrew: Flat “What?”

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    Andrew: “I don’t birthday myself”

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    Andrew: “I like my bacon way more flaccid… I think”

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    Andrew: “It’s a yakkity-Zak!”

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    Andrew: “Oh, you had turgid bacon?”

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    Andrew: “Ooh! Explicit”

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    Andrew: “People always write in and they’re like, ‘How do you make a podcast? Can you tell us?’ And, I’ll tell you… plug things in, and you unplug ’em, and you plug ’em back in to something else”

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    Andrew: Singing “Which, nobody… can deny”

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    Andrew: “Smell the smell”

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    Andrew: “The Mariners haven’t had a season this good since, since 2003; which is, as you know, I was still in the baseball womb, at that time”

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    Andrew: “This is officially called… ‘Music-Blursday-Right Way To Rock-Andrew Walsh Remix… Extended Remix'”

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    Andrew: “Ya mom’s in my bizness”

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    Andrew: “Yes! Aaahhh!!”

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    Andrew: “You crazy for this one, Sue!”

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    Andrew and Luke: Andrew thinks the “Ooh! Explicit” drop has been one of most played drops since January and Luke asks how many times he has played the “Ooooh!” drop and keeps on playing it

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    Andrew and Luke: “But, as you know, I’m new to baseball. This is, we, we… You say that; but… (This is my eighth year of watching baseball) that’s not new!! Well, relatively. That’s not new!!”

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    Andrew and Luke: “Fourth verse, same as the first! A little bit louder and a little bit worse”

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    Andrew and Luke: “I like my bacon way more flaccid… I think… Now, nobody eating bacon every again! So many ways you could’ve des–No, they’re all gross: floppy, limp… You’re right. Alright, flaccid. I salute that”

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    Andrew and Luke: “I’m a kid, I don’t watch the news (Nope)”

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    Andrew and Luke: “It has fifty hard keys on it… Ooh! I didn’t know the keys were hard. Now, that changes everything”

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    Andrew and Luke: Luke is anticipating and annoyed that Andrew might play a slide whistle or spring sound effect drop; but, Andrew plays the turkey gobble drop instead

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    Andrew and Luke: “No you didn’t! Absolutely!”

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    Andrew and Luke: “That’s crazy. Cuz, you play that all the time; because, I’m always saying funny things. Exactly”

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    Andrew and Luke: “Well, sometimes you eat the Twinkie; and… Sometimes the Twinkie eats you”

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  • Clips From TBTL #2636

    Andrew: “And, I remember it, Luke; cuz, I’m a… good podcasting boy”

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    Andrew: “I… didn’t realize that today/yesterday… is/was your birthday”

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    Andrew: “It’s so scary, man!”

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    Andrew: Laughing

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    Andrew: “Mmm-hmm”

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    Andrew: “Rip-dip-da-lip-dip-dip-dip”

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    Andrew: “You know what? Do me a favor… go grab a normal person… and put them right here; and… I’m gonna stand a little further back, and I’m gonna beat that normal person… at their own game”

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    Andrew and Luke: “Could you… use your wizard powers to turn this podcast into a… listenable podcast? Hold on, let me see here… Yes! I just did it… (Great) with magic”

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    Andrew and Luke: “Happy dang birthday, ya bonehead! Hey, thanks, man! I appreciate it”

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    Andrew, David Burbank and Luke: “What were you playing this on and how were you able to incorporate the drops? Well, actually, that’s super interesting; so… Well, maybe, probably not for most people; (Wow! There are two of us!!) but, it is interesting to, to explain it to you, Andrew. Two of us!!!”

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    David Burbank: “Because, airports are supremely fucked up”

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    David Burbank: “Yaris, Yaris”

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    David Burbank and Andrew: “And so, driving on the left side of the road, while, when you’re driving up the cliff… you’re driving on the edge of the cliff face… Noooo! (and… there was)”

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    David Burbank and Andrew: David goes into Ent and Treebeard talk and Andrew makes a Dr. Frankenstein spoof

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    Luke: Explaining that Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s shows were recorded on Tuesday afternoon and the Thursday and Friday shows will be recorded on Wednesday

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    Luke: Funny “Huh?”

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    Luke: “God, please tell me she didn’t eat the dog poop”

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    Luke: “It’s time for a Wednesday afternoon edition of TBTL, the show that just… might be Too Beautiful to Live… (Carol, hold my calls) Yeah! That’s how you play a sound effect at the top of the show”

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    Luke: “My expired license doesn’t have a hole punched in it, bro!”

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    Luke: Saying “Because, I could” in a sing-songy manner

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    Luke: “That joke get funnier the more I do it?”

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    Luke: “Yeah… It’s almost like an insult… hold the almost”

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    Luke and Andrew: “God, how did I get so much better at podcasting since yesterday’s show; which, was also recorded today? Good… good stuff. I don’t know”

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    Luke and Andrew: “So, from sit–right here, in the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center… went on the website… filled out a few things, hit print… and, I am now the proud owner of a renewed driver’s license! Wow! Congratulations! Lotta questions (Right?)”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Strangers are just neighbors… you haven’t thrown your shit at yet. Yeah”

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    Luke and Andrew: “There’s some quality Keitel nudity in The Piano, by the way… Oh, yeah! Is that the one–well, there’s so–I mean… listen, in the 90s, it was hard to not to see his penis, I think”

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    Luke and Andrew: “You got a quick e-mail or two before we… get on outta here? Now, I gotta do it quickly, huh? Gotta do it quickly, huh?”

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    Luke, Andrew and David Burbank: “Please remember: No mountain too tall; and… good luck to all… Sorry, David. Maybe you should’ve said that… He’s gotten enough airtime for one… Power out!”

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    Luke, David Burbank and Andrew: Bitcoin and Bilbcoin

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  • Clips From TBTL #2635

    Andrew: “And, he said, ‘You just gotta get your reps in. You’ll be good some day. You just gotta get your reps in’ Ha-ha! I showed him. I’ve done tons of reps and I’m still not good”

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    Andrew: “And, I’m not trying to sound like a conspiracy… person… I’m conspiracy-abled”

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    Andrew: “As a matter of fact, it’s a dream of mine. I love… money, and I love finding money. So, finding a lot of money is, like, a dream of mine”

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    Andrew: “Do you… dig that at all?”

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    Andrew: “Good stuff, Luke”

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    Andrew: “Guys, guys, guys”

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    Andrew: “Hey, kid! That’s mine!”

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    Andrew: “Hi, I’m Luke… I’ll be your yogurt salesman today”

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    Andrew: “How come I can’t hear it? Oh, because I’m an idiot”

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    Andrew: “How to be mahalo in un-mahalo times?”

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    Andrew: “I don’t… I don’t… I don’t really like teachers”

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    Andrew: “I just wanted a hot take. I just wanted to carve out my hot take”

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    Andrew: “I mean, I’m definitely a big tool”

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    Andrew: “I probably would not be one of those people out there grabbing this money; but, it has nothing to do with a moral compass, for God’s sakes. It has to do with me just being, like, embarrassed… and weird, and not wanting to be part of a public frenzy. I’ve seen so many movies; whether, it’s… you know, Batman or The Magic Christian, or… Batman”

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    Andrew: “I was complaining about the LAX… I know. Can you imagine me complaining about something pedestrian? But, I was”

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    Andrew: Laughing

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    Andrew: Laughing #2

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    Andrew: “Let’s not relive those days. I’m becoming the ugly person I was back then. I don’t wanna… I’m… I’m a new guy now. I’m a guy who drinks mango-flavored diet cola, created and distributed by the Coca-Cola Company”

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    Andrew: “No, no, no. I didn’t get cancelled, dude… I’m going the Big City to take another job”

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    Andrew: “Oh, God”

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    Andrew: “Oh, God! I don’t know. Now, I’m talking myself out of it”

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    Andrew: “Oh, this gives me the good feeling”

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    Andrew: “Okay. Now, we’re in a moral gray area”

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    Andrew: Saying “…or Penny’s… Did you get my good side?” after Luke took a screenshot of something

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    Andrew: “Why are you such a bad person?”

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    Andrew: “Yeah, I’m not a big Tool head”

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    Andrew: “You’re making memories, Luke”

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    Andrew and Luke: Saying “Chicken tinga tostadas… with avocados! Lukey B! Lukey B!! Who’s making roasted sweet potatoes and zucchini!?” in a funny manner

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    Luke: “Am I alright, everyone?”

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    Luke: “Just drove this thing right off the friggin’ rails, right out of the gate”

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    Luke: “Lock the door of the armored truck, y’all!”

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    Luke: “Look, I don’t wanna brag; but, I do have a Wizard number… okay?”

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    Luke: Luke forgot to turn up the volume knob for his sound effects at the start of the show

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    Luke: “Man! I would’ve been at the front of the line… at the front of the line… to get that money”

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    Luke: Mumble-singing something as Michael McDonald

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    Luke: “Oh… God! Off to a hot start”

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    Luke: Saying someone’s name, but garbled

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    Luke: “So much to talk about yesterday… mostly stuff that we… didn’t get to… Did say, ‘So much to talk about yesterday’? Am I alright, everyone? Is there some kind of medication that I need a lot of… or, that I should stop taking?”

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    Luke: “There are bad bands with bad names; and, there are good bands with good names; but, then, there’s different list of good bands with bad names”

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    Luke: “This is the volume control; and, when it’s down at zero… you don’t have any sound. But, when it’s up to the maximum… you get this kind of business (Poop diddy whoop scoop, poop!)”

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    Luke: “You know how that makes me feel? Terrible… thanks for asking”

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    Luke and Andrew: “He’s Andrew Walsh and he joins us now from the Wallingford neighborhood… Seattle, Washington. Hello, my friend. Good stuff, Luke… How ya doing? Hooo! I’m, I mean, I thought I was fine”

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    Luke and Andrew: “I got fired from that time slot. You didn’t get fired… you left… for mysterious reasons… For mysterious reasons? I had another job!”

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    Luke and Andrew: “I told Carey my bag of money story. She was not pleased. Oh, that surprises me! Hmm… Seems like something a wife would love to hear. Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re talking about this and not talking about this”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Oh, man! I just threw a glow stick… (I know you did) right when that beat dropped… Sick, man”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Ooh, explicit. Ooh”

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    Luke and Andrew: “The Kung Pao chicken was made by a woman! I am sexist”

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    Luke and Andrew: “Yeah, take that Mike! Yeah! TBTL, one. Pesca, zero. Yeah. Pesca, zero! That sums it up”

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    Nick Armes: “Thanks for listening today, everybody. We’ll be back tomorrow with more imaginary radio; but, until then: We’re surrounded by clocks; and, good luck to all!”

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    ???: Purring or growling sound while Andrew was speaking

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