Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “God! We’re in each other’s heads!”

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Andrew: “How can you ruin something that is perfect in my memory?”

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Andrew: “I will not get a taunting flag thrown at me. I’m better than that”

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Andrew: “I’ve never been accused of really knowing… what the young people are thinking and feeling”

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Andrew: Making a creaking sound

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Andrew: Making a creaking sound and saying “That is the sound of a pterodactyl… responding to the word, ‘vault'”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh! Look at all of my fobs! Oh, I’m so clumsy”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! I don’t want the, the big bad man to use me”

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Andrew: “Okay. Are you ready for my confession now?”

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Andrew: “On my boop-boop”

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Andrew: “Ooh, that sounds good to me!”

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Andrew: “Surprisingly… unhelpful”

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Andrew: “The cock will not crow”

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Andrew: “What lost!?”

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Luke: “Andy Rooney Rourke?”

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Luke: “Despite all my rage, I am still just a bird on the page?”

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Luke: “I mean, I’m gonna do a month in the hole for that; but, it will be worth it”

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Luke: “Just call him Mickey Rourke-y”

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Luke: “Now, I’m gonna be, ‘Luke the Podcaster'”

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Luke: Saying “I like… going to dive bars… and… and wrestling… I guess that makes me bad” as Andy Rooney

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Luke: “You know, part of my frustrati… was”

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Andrew: “Damn. I was just trying to keep up”

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Andrew: “I’m putting As all over the place; and, kinda don’t care!”

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Andrew: “Is jilted only for lovers?”

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Andrew: “Oh, we’re really, kind of, on the… on the edge of legality here”

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Andrew: “What is wrong with me today!?”

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Andrew: “You know what? Like, that’s just future… tripping… when you’re worried about running out of As. I’m throwing them all over the place”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew apologizes for a curt response to a tweet

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Andrew and Luke: “I also put the ‘A’ in ‘Walsh’… Yes you do (I put the ‘A’ in ‘Andrew’. I put the ‘A’ in ‘Walsh’… I put the ‘A’ in ‘Alpha’ as you said before)”

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Andrew and Luke: “My story to him was nothing like the story… that I told on Monday; where, I was still… a rat in a cage filled with… rage… See? This is the, (I can’t get it out of my head) this is the key to a great joke. It’s staying with you now”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, no. I’ve infected you with my… I ain’t (bumble…) afraidness no ghosts!”

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Luke: “Despite all my rage, I’m still news that is… the backpage”

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Luke: “Despite all your rage, you’re still the news that’s backpage”

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Luke: “I think I might be a beta”

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Luke: “I think I might be… low-key, a submissive person”

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Luke: “Oh, that’s coming from me!”

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Luke: “Ooh. Explicit”

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Luke: “The maximum afraidness”

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Luke and Andrew: “Jer-made-o, Jer-mah-do… [ph] Let’s get this to-mah-to? You know… to-may-to, to-mah-to… Jer-made-o, (Yeah) Jer-mah-do? I know. It just felt like it needed a rhyme… That’s one of the jokes that I really hope history forgets!”

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Luke and Andrew: “One out of eight gym participants can’t be wrong. Yeah. It’s fun having Andrew here”

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Andrew: “Bug up my butt”

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Andrew: “Burbank”

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Andrew: “Eyes over here, sir!”

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Andrew: “How did I get here?”

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Andrew: “I am literally a charity case, yes”

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Andrew: “I am wearing something that is so ridiculous right now and I can’t let Genevieve see it; cuz, she’s gonna get mad at me”

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Andrew: “I got you in trouble, didn’t I?”

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Andrew: “My printer, my brother, my printer, my brother”

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Andrew: “There’s no reason why you should remember them; because, they… make no sense… and they’re ridiculous”

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Andrew: “They’re doing something funky with the cheese here; and, I’m not into it”

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Andrew and Luke: “They remembered the thanks… But, they forgot to… give… the customers (Yes!) their food”

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Luke: “And, if I’m carrying something? Forget it… It’s too much”

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Luke: “Burbank? Burbank? Anybody? Burbank?”

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Luke: “I know they’re trying to, like, keep it fun and flirty. Wait. That’s the exact opposite of what you should be doing at work”

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Luke: “I’m ride or die for Ryder”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: Singing “Lean to me”

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Luke: Singing “Lean towards Bob”

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Luke: Talking like Norm McDonald and Regis Philbin

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Luke: “The pocket is tiny, the shorts are not. Don’t worry Portland… Fully covered”

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Luke: “They’re doing something funky with the cheese here; and, I’m not into it”

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Luke: “This is fob… fob-scrimination”

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Luke: “To get to the universal, you have to go through the personal”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do I say that I lost my fob? But, then, I bet they would deactivate it, right? Oh, yeah. They will… They will. I hate Thomas… I hate Thomas (Welcome) so much”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m leasing a car… (Mmm-hmm) and I’m renting an apartment… (Mmm-hmm) And, I’m loving it, Jerry!!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke making up possible choices for a harassment training question

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Luke and Andrew: “No, shit, Thomas!! Yeah. There. The name came out”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, pro-tip… if you’re out there… I also hate it when people say, ‘pro-tip’. Me too. I wish I hadn’t done that”

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