Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Click-click-click-click-click-click”

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Andrew: “Everything’s fine!”

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Andrew: “Go full Busey. Screw this McConaughey crap”

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Andrew: “Hey, hot stuff”

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Andrew: “I’m screwed”

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Andrew: “It’s never gonna be comfortable for me”

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Andrew: “Let’s talk about that shit for a second”

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Andrew: “My mind… is blown right now”

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Andrew: “This is just such a waste of tape”

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Andrew: “Whoa!”

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Andrew: “Yeah… I’m still dubious”

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Andrew and Luke: “I let strange dogs, if they want to, lick (Mmm-hmm) me. I shouldn’t be doing that”

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Luke: “A mind that’s open to everything but attached to nothing, alright, alright, alright”

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Luke: “Any Busey will do”

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Luke: “I’ve seen where that tongue goes”

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Luke: Mimicking the sound of Rudy collapsing on the floor

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Luke: Snorting

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Luke: “This is America. Love it or leave it, Wolfgang”

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Luke: “This is gonna be the episode of this show where I just repeat things I saw… on, on Twitter”

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Luke: “When you reference an LL Cool J submarine movie… your friend… is you”

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Luke: “Yeah. We are in Kansas anymore”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s fine when I’m self-critical, Andrew. I’m allowed (Mmm-hmm) to do it”

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Luke and Andrew: “One is for sure! Halloween is happening! (Yeah!)”

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Andrew: “But, this sounds awesome!”

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Andrew: “Cuz, generally speaking, I’m an order muppet and she’s a chaos muppet, right?”

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Andrew: “Garbage can inside of a garbage can inside of a garbage can”

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Andrew: “I did nothing! I did nothing”

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Andrew: “I do love a Bugle, man”

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Andrew: “I just… raged… inside, so much”

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Andrew: “I think I have to digi-sign it my friend”

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Andrew: “I was grocer-bullied”

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Andrew: “Jam it into the COVID space”

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Andrew: “Just taking pictures of polite cars!!”

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Andrew: “Let’s grunge the things that grunge”

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Andrew: “Or, I got… tricked by an ad”

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Andrew: “Send it back to Hell!”

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Andrew: “That’s not exactly the spirit of self-checkout”

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Andrew: “That’s not the move, man”

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Andrew: “These feelings of impotent anger”

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Andrew: “We should just allow it! Which, is… not usually the Walsh-ian take on this”

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Andrew: “You know, this is chill Andy”

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Andrew: “You’re gonna take all those through the self-checkout, huh?”

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Luke: “I sit on a rock and contemplate my life”

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Luke: “Let’s do an e-mail or v-mail before we… hit the dusty trail”

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Luke: “MAGA chud friends”

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Luke: “Maybe, I just have so many run-ins, they start to all blur together”

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Luke: “Not great job”

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Andrew: “Applebee’s, bro”

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Andrew: “By the way, I’m totally making this up. I could be wrong”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna… put my anxiety in other people”

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Andrew: “I… remembered the bones of that joke”

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Andrew: Making a bullet ricocheting sound and a funny sound

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Andrew: “Maybe I shouldn’t even admit how stupid I am”

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Andrew: “Never do anything outta hunger, even eat”

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Andrew: “Say ‘chunt'”

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Andrew: Saying “I’m not weird” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “There are places I remember”

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Andrew: “‘Voting, eh?’ to ‘Vote, now!'”

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Andrew: “When are you gonna make me a grandpa… Paul?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Is that a bad man company, Luke!? Is that… I don’t know. Really!? (Yeah)”

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Luke: “(Hey, Gorgle)… How do I keep from being (Weird!)?”

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Luke: “How to truly… party… with the best of them; and, go down to the river”

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Luke: “In Soviet Russia… Vince Vaughn bullies you!”

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Luke: “It’s a… top-heavy show today”

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Luke: “Licorice! Licorice! Sweet black licorice. Sweet black licorice! Have some. Bee-boomp!”

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Luke: “Like, a lot of the stories that we do on this show are, obviously, bullshit”

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Luke: “Tired: Voting, how? Wired: Voting, now!”

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Luke: “You know, Aasif Mandvi… my pal from Wait Wait” [ed: Aasif Mandvi has not been on Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! but has been a guest on Live Wire!]

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Luke: “Your boy, Lukie, will be voting”

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Andrew: “5, 5, 5, 5, 5?”

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Andrew: “8, 8, 8, 8, 8?”

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Andrew: “Bowling. Is it a sport? We’re opening up the lines: 206-414-8285. That’s, 206-414-TBTL. Just kidding; that’s a voicemail line. But… how many seconds into this solo rant am I?”

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Andrew: “Didn’t I shock ya!?”

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Andrew: “Get the… Bob Edwards drop ready; cuz, this is gonna be the saddest thing you’ve ever heard”

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Andrew: “Goddamnit!”

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Andrew: “Good smart… Good smart! I said, ‘Good smart'”

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Andrew: “Here we go again!”

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Andrew: “Hey! This isn’t interesting”

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Andrew: “Hi, everybody. We’re just talking about work now”

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Andrew: “I bowl your pins!”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna fight about this”

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Andrew: “I’m so cool and young”

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Andrew: “I’m so cool and young… I need to start reading the trades”

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Andrew: “I’m… potentially in too deep. I may need to be extracted from this cult”

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Andrew: Imitating a drum solo

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Andrew: “Maybe today… Maybe today’s my day to break free of this never-ending cycle… of the being… being batter by soap and water. I am clean. I am ready. I am ready to go home… But… oh, no! Oh, God! All my friends are gone! All my friends are gone! Don’t close the door again! It’s so dark! It’s do dark”

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Andrew: “No, that was a burp”

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Andrew: “No! I quit!”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Are you gone?”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Are you gone? Are you doing this to see how long I can go? I’m not allowed to ask questions? Oh, man”

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Andrew: “Oh, we went there!”

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Andrew: “Oh! He was the best one!”

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Andrew: Singing “Blursday, Blursday”

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Andrew: Singing “Laura! You might be the daughter of Sue”

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Andrew: Singing “Laura!”

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Andrew: “The only problem is… my fat ass is gonna bang into ’em constantly”

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Andrew: “The question is: are they down with VCP?”

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Luke: “Good smart, you guys!”

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Luke: “I’m a digital transformation artist”

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Luke: “If you gamble… you will lose”

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Luke: “They’re down with LDC”

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Luke: “Tronc!”

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Luke: “You lose!”

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Luke: “You will lose!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Isn’t that crazy? I don’t… I don’t wanna fight about this”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke wants to pin Andrew’s tongue and tie his arms around his back and Andrew would rather quit

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Andrew: “Anyway, I know you’re joking; but… there you go”

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Andrew: “I’m not sexting up on here!”

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Andrew: “It is right there, like, in the intersection of Germany, France and Switzerland. I’m moving here!”

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Andrew: “Jim Belushi… not a… Blues Brother, right? A Blues Brother’s brother?”

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Andrew: Making a series of funny sounds

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Andrew: “My God, ‘crap’ was a bad word in our house!”

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Andrew: “Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “So, it is Medford; they have their own airport. It must be a tiny, little thing”

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Andrew: “Stop smoking pot if you’re gonna make that sound, you disgusting person”

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Andrew: “This has taken a real turn”

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Andrew: “What do we associate clowning with?”

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Andrew: “You know, just squat on that Chunt; if you know what I’m saying”

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Andrew and Luke: “So, you’re telling me… that Jim Belushi and John Goodman are in a blood feud? That’s all I’m hearing here… Yeah… Cuz he unseated… (I, I, I’m…) he unseated John Goodman… And, you’re on the record, my friend. You’re on the record”

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Luke: “Anything around inhaling, it really, it freaks me out”

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Luke: “Aw, cheese and crackers”

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Luke: “Beaver… rump… penal… masticate… tight-end… fanny blower… poop deck… flange”

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Luke: “Clown-egg-face”

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Luke: “Doggam fothermucker… and bun-of-a-sitch”

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Luke: “Don’t you ever disrespect me online, listener Paul”

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Luke: “He went to Albania, Jim Belushi did, and he goes, ‘You won’t believe it,’ and he goes, ‘Well, cuz… the two most famous Albanians are Mother Teresa and my brother; and, they’re both dead… So, they got me'”

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Luke: “I always gild the lily”

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Luke: “I don’t do well around alpha males”

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Luke: “I’m always calling you a doggam fothermucker”

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Luke: “It was like I had landed in the Vegas of weed”

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Luke: “It’s just… free content flowing out of this window and in… to a parking lot in Medford, Oregon”

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Luke: Making a funny sound

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Luke: Making a funny sound #2

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Luke: “New backup plan… Move to Berat”

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Luke: “Oh, boy… We’ll see what happens”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah! We got a Dana Bash sighting, baby!”

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Luke: Saying “Whoa!” as Joey Lawrence

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Luke: Saying “Whoa!” as Joey Lawrence #2

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Luke: Saying “Yo, Adrian!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Whatever you call it, we got it!”

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Luke: “Who are you clown-facing?”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is the Susie Burbank in me… I don’t smoke pot… I don’t care about it. But, I did the math and I think this is, like, thirty dollars worth of joints… (Mmm-hmm) And, it was free”

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