Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “A real mindfuck, if you don’t mind me saying”

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Andrew: “According to Merriam-Webster, ‘pre’ and ‘post’ will probably just mean the same thing eventually anyway, right? Cuz, language doesn’t mean anything”

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Andrew: “Bumpy’s, Dick’s”

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Andrew: “Cheerios and almond milk, my friend”

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Andrew: “Done!”

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Andrew: “Ew, God!”

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Andrew: “Ha-ha-ha! Yeah. I have advice for ya! Don’t get into this business!”

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Andrew: “I also respected the flies that were, I think, starting to… accumulate around my butt around that time”

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Andrew: “I am… a complete hypocrite… on this topic”

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Andrew: “I just got… like, some sort of weird chicken fingers”

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Andrew: “I’m done!”

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Andrew: “I’m the smart person who knows that that’s not a word!”

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Andrew: “I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: we are living in a podcast boom”

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Andrew: “If you have irregular podcasts, please see a doctor”

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Andrew: “If you were gonna blow out your, your calorie load for the day”

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Andrew: “Like, I dunno. Dummies have been doing it; and, so now the dictionaries just gonna buckle to the dummies”

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Andrew: “No way!”

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Andrew: “Oh, Andrew”

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Andrew: “Oh, can I speak to–Wrong number!”

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Andrew: “Oh, really!?”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: Singing “Me and you and a dog named Poo”

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Andrew: “So, I’m all messed up”

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Andrew: “This mistake of a word”

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Andrew: “Whoa! What’s happening to me?”

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Andrew: “Yeah. I was blowing my calorie load, yeah”

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Andrew: “You wanna profiteer off of COVID! That’s why you want a time machine!?”

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Luke: “Ahh!! There’s ten minutes left!”

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Luke: “And, I know this is easier said than done; but, you just gotta start making your own shit”

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Luke: “Andrew, I am titillated by this hummingbird”

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Luke: “Andrew… it happened!”

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Luke: “Hey, look! A white guy made it!”

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Luke: “I was, I was a hurtin’ unit this morning”

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Luke: “I’m Biff! Get me that racing form!”

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Luke: “Irregardless… of traditional music standards… Ozzy rules!”

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Luke: “It was an LBD! It was a Luke Burbank Do!”

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Luke: Saying “Weird!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Serfs Up!”

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Luke: “What is that person’s deal!?”

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Luke: “What the fuck?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew. It’s happening… A hummingbird is here! (Titillate) Andrew, I am titillated by this hummingbird. I can tell. It is happening! It is happening”

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Luke and Andrew: “Andrew… it happened! Wow”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m glad you shuffled with it. I shuffled with it!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Is that the advice you have for Christian? [ph] No, hell no! I’m not gonna be one of those (Oh, good) annoying, old crusts!”

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Luke and Andrew: “More (Yeah) like ‘Boy Named Poo’! Ohhh”

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Luke and Andrew: “We are now… in international waters of podcasting (Mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew: “Croissant!”

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Andrew: “Dinking around on his boop-boop”

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Andrew: “I don’t want it to be spicy”

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Andrew: “I just… want… my boy Gary to be happy”

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Andrew: “I know I’m totally fan-wanking here”

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Andrew: “I don’t want it to be spicy”

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Andrew: “I, I heard a smile in your voice… as you were getting ready to play that drop; and, I was, like, ‘Uh-oh. This one’s gonna be a doozy'”

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Andrew: Making a tense, riding a roller-coaster sound

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Andrew: “Oh, no. You don’t… do that”

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Andrew: Saying “Yeah, that scans” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “So nice not to hear myself saying something stupid when… when you introduce me”

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Andrew: “Taxidermist!”

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Andrew and Luke: “The meme war dad? Yeah. I’ll betcha he’s going strong! I think about him. I’m not joking!”

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Luke: “Expectorating viral… load”

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Luke: “I don’t want a thin door… standing between… what I’m going in that bathroom… and… what Carey’s hearing from the bedroom. Like, that is not a… that is not a… sexy move coming from me”

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Luke: “It’s the good decisions district… of Bellingham, Washington”

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Luke: “Pish-posh, VHS”

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Luke: “That would make even more sense, Luke!”

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Luke: “Yeah… It’s a death chute”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke using the “Are you gonna finish that croissant?” drop and getting mentioned saying Luke missed an opportunity to use it on an earlier show

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “Weird! Weird!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Across the street, Luke, what is there? Like a beacon of hope, from the day before”

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Andrew: “And, I do not want to taint this at all, in my usual, Andrew way”

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Andrew: “Andrew, this is what you trained for. Like, you can do this”

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Andrew: “Cut to last night, midnight-ish… Genevieve’s watching TV. We’re both… getting pretty close to going to bed. I decide to close out my day… by chomping down on half a bag of these flaming hot… pickle chips”

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Andrew: “Get a drink… Sometimes… get a steak. Sometimes, I drink a steak!”

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Andrew: “I decide to close out my day… by chomping down on half a bag of these flaming hot… pickle chips”

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Andrew: “I feel like–Oh, God! No, don’t!”

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Andrew: “I have… dreams about going to the bathroom… all the different ways”

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Andrew: “I’m probably wrong”

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Andrew: “Just… give that man a cigarette”

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Andrew: “My stomach just was taking an extra five minutes to wake up; and, it turns out, I needed to do more in the bathroom… than I had allowed for”

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Andrew: “Okay. We’re getting close!”

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Andrew: “Shut up!! I know! I can see it!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “So, I wake up… and, I just… use the restroom, in a very brief way, that does not involve the chips; if you know what I’m saying. I just had to pee, is what I’m saying”

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Andrew: “This is such a terrible story; and, where it’s going is so… unsettling”

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Andrew: “Today, I’m gonna go to this QFC, I’m gonna buy a bonkers flavor of potato chips”

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Andrew: “Uh, Genevieve, as soon as you can, I need to back in here”

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Andrew: “Who gives a shit? Like, whatever”

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Andrew: “Yay! Oh, wow. This is gonna be really hard and everybody’s gonna hate me”

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Andrew and Luke: “Across the street, Luke, what is there? Like a beacon of hope, from the day before… but a… Subway… sandwich (Yes!) concern”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, I do not want to taint this at all, in my usual, Andrew way. I will say (Then don’t)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I go directly to bed with a… (Oof) stomach full of these chips, already feeling… like I’ve made a… horrible mistake”

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Luke: “I can… fucking see the Burger King… lady!!”

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Luke: “I gotta shit!”

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Luke: “I’m just gonna… I’m just gonna go for it”

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Luke: Saying “Uh, can I have some marinara for my…?” in a funny manner

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Luke: “The water’s not carbonated; so, I won’t be burping”

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Andrew: “Again, it wasn’t what I was picturing. It wasn’t what I needed for that moment”

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Andrew: “And, also, it can cover up the smell of… poopy pants”

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Andrew: “But, already, you see the fissures in my big plan to eat lunch meat”

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Andrew: “But, I don’t really… I don’t really play in the Pinterest… space that much”

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Andrew: “Clear a log jam, if you will”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I don’t know what that means; but, I don’t like it”

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Andrew: “God! I’m… so hungry right now, man”

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Andrew: “Hey, I accidentally shit my pants”

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Andrew: “I can never tell when I’m looking at the same bird or different birds”

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Andrew: “I like to mess around with… goofy flavor potato chips from time to time”

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Andrew: “It’s… what we call… shitty in there”

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Andrew: “Like, I’m just not into that sandwich scene”

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Andrew: “My experience is limited; but, my experience is positive”

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Andrew: “Nora… It must have been Nora”

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Andrew: “Occupied!!”

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Andrew: “She’s constantly grinding stuff!”

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Andrew: “That’s my poop story”

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Andrew: “That’s news I can use”

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Andrew: “The weekend felt long and luxurious to me. Where am I going with this… is the question”

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Andrew: “What the hell does that mean!?”

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Andrew: “Who moved my pin!?”

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Andrew: “Why would I even say this? Why am I being a dick?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I think this is just a little gas… Hmmmmmm. (Oh, no!) Never. Just don’t”

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Luke: Saying “I… excuse me!!” in a funny manner

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Luke: Saying “I’m in here!” in a funny manner

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Luke: “Why do I… insist on taking… this conversation… constantly to a visual place?”

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Luke and Andrew: “January’s (Sure) when the bad man goes away”

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Andrew: “Boy, this photo of me. You know, I gotta say… I, aaagh! [ph]“

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Andrew: “Cuz, I, I like hot dogs… all the different ways”

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Andrew: “Don’t try to go back home”

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Andrew: “I know it in my bones, sometimes, when I’m gonna… regret a tweet… And, sometimes, you just gotta pull ’em down. It’s the only way to… sleep at night”

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Andrew: “I know what you’re talking about… I love those things”

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Andrew: “I’m feeling a little Garfield-y this morning”

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Andrew: “Is she getting AARF Magazine?”

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Andrew: “It seemed to be bigger in your brain than mine”

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Andrew: “It’s a dangerous food for me”

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Andrew: “Luke… bottom line… I don’t get hashtags, man” (Edited)

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Andrew: “Ooh! Boys’ weekend!”

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Andrew: “What’s the point of hashtags? Hashtags this, hashtags that”

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Andrew: “Why… why all the hashtags?”

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Andrew: “Woohoo! Party time!”

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Andrew: “Yay! I’m making some great decisions in my life. Let’s go climb a mountain!”

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Andrew: “Zoink!! They’re outta there!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Luke… bottom line… (Uh-oh) I don’t get hashtags, man”

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Luke: “I did have complicated thoughts about it”

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Luke: “I want some more of those sweet, sweet rye chips”

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Luke: “If that happens, I’m losing my shit”

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Luke: “It’s not that brief, bro… It’s not that brief… It’s… your whole life, all the time”

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Luke: “My whole brand is deleting tweets”

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Luke: “We’ll be back in a Quibi… here on TBTL”

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Luke and Andrew: “How did you just sexualize hot dogs for me? Oh… I’m not the first!”

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