Category: Audio Clips

Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cuz, I like to keep it low brow!”

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Luke: “‘Ello!”

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Luke: “I mean, holy shit, man”

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Luke: “Let’s thank our LAX, overpriced cologne and bag section level donors of the day”

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Luke: Mimicking bass beat of a techno/dance song

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Luke: “Shortcut!”

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Luke: Singing “In my hovel”

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Luke: “That guy seems almost like a human”

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Luke: “These are our Tiësto, I Want You, blasting out of a perfume shop at LAX level donors of the day”

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Luke: “This can’t be good! And, I was like, ‘Yo, yo, yo!'”

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Luke: “Uh, because I like to keep it high brow as well”

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Luke: “When I get up in the morning, I, I look, you know, pretty much like wet dog shit”

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Luke and Andrew: “And I’m leaving and Carey’s like, ‘Oh, really. Getting all tarted up to go down and pick up the Thai food, I guess.’ She is insanely jealous, man.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Mos Gucci’s spaceport. (I hope that…) You’ll never find a more overpriced hive of wasted seating”

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Luke and Andrew: Six-inch subs only exist in theory

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Luke and Andrew: “That is some… CSI, enhance the photo shit! Enhance! Enhance!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You are gonna love the way this sounds, (I’m looking ahead) I guarantee it. Looks pretty good. You’ve got a friend in the donor business.”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m in full shame mode”

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Andrew: “Febuary… [sic] February”

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Andrew: “God…damn it!”

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Andrew: “Have you accepted Amway as your personal savior, Luke?”

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Andrew: “I can’t, I can’t be responsible for that”

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Andrew: “I just needed to do this alone”

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Andrew: “I just needed… just like a drug”

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Andrew: “I love you too”

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Andrew: “I mean, I’m not that old! I mean, you’re like eight months older than me, aren’t you… Grandpa?”

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Andrew: “I, I… support this trend… in TBTL so hard”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Write that down!!”

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Andrew: “Mmm mmm”

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Andrew: “Oh, ho-ho-hoooo!”

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Andrew: “Seattle frumpy. It’s Andrew frumpy”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “That’s gross”

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Andrew: “That’s gross. I apologize, listener”

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Andrew: “These are gonna be our Tiësto, I Want You, level donors of the day”

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Andrew: “This is just me admitting something horrible”

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Andrew: “This is so goddamn LA”

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Andrew: “True that!”

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Andrew: “What’s the smell situation in there? How’s it smell?”

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Andrew: “Whatever”

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Andrew: “When they go low… pressure system, we go high pressure system”

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Andrew: “You feel like a mad man! I was so cranky. I just wanted to grab people by their shoulders, ‘Like you’ve–Look! You see what they’ve done to us? Where’s the designer!?'”

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Andrew: “You’ve life-hacked it again, my friend”

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Andrew and Luke: “A1A! (Beachfront Avenue!) Right!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Because why, Luke? Because, my brain is… not… Ghyna.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke saying that he’s pouring coffee and not relieving himself into a water bottle

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Andrew and Luke: “Mos Def and the Eisley Brothers (Yeah)”

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Andrew and Luke: Smuggling bottles of hot sauce

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Andrew and Luke: “Think of it as like an ‘Ello… for athletes. I thought you were gonna say something actually helpful there. Sorry.”

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Luke: “And we are a show… of our word… some of the time”

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Luke: “Betwixt and between”

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Luke: “I go on the big boy potty!”

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Luke: “I love your story. To me, it’s a beautiful story. I love your story.”

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Luke: “It’s been eighteen hours since my last impulsive Amazon.com purchase”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Let me paint a word picture for you”

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Luke: Saying “Know what I mean?” as Ernest P. Worrell

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Luke: Singing “One dad, dadding it up!”

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Luke: “So, that’s all I want to say about that”

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Luke: “Sue me? Sue me for wha’?”

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Luke: Yelling “Sanctuary!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Because, I have none of the details that are… necessary for this to be a compelling story, Andrew. Hey, that’s my territory, buddy.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Been spending most our lives living in a looter’s paradise (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know, but I have diarrhea. Right!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, dear God. I weep for your love life, if, if, if Andrew and I’s voices are involved. Oh, dear God! That is, that… really will create some issues. Wassup guys? Wassup guys? Hey guys!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Thanks, Jiminy Cricket! (Sure)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Total Eclipse-head of the Heart (Mmm-hmm)”

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Andrew: “And, I knew I head to read this article; but, I also wanted… some sausage.”

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Andrew: “Before you Rundgren-rolled me”

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Andrew: “Did he write ‘The Elders of Zion’!? Oh, no. Am I doing this live on the podcast?”

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Andrew: “God! You’re all over YouTube, man! Now, YouTube just wants to play me some all kinds of crazy Luke Burbank stuff.”

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Andrew: “Henry M.F. Ford. M.F. is not actually his middle initials.”

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Andrew: “Here we go again!!”

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Andrew: “Holy macaroons”

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Andrew: “I already sound like a total nut today, I don’t want to sound even more nutty”

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Andrew: “I hate my job, and I hate this guy”

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Andrew: “It’s so bad!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “You son of a gun!!”

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Andrew: “Listen, I’m not some sort of great saint over here”

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Andrew: “Oh, goddamn it! This is my worst nightmare!”

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Andrew: “Oh, man”

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Andrew: “Oh, no. Am I doing this live on the podcast?”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Don’t do it”

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Andrew: “Really!!?”

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Andrew: Singing “Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to the billionaire!”

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Andrew: Singing “Too many dads! Too many dads”

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Andrew: Singing “Too many dads!”

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Andrew: “That’s my young friend, Luke Burbank”

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Andrew: “We just need somebody to transcribe the whole show. And then, cut out the bad parts. And then, post it.”

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Andrew: “What about my buddy Luke?”

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Andrew: “Wouldn’t hurt you to tell me that sometimes!”

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Andrew: “You know, I’m a big boy!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, I’m not mad, bro. You mad, bro? I’m not… actually. Thank you for asking.”

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Andrew and Luke: “What do you call them, self checkout machines? I call those mirrors. That’s pretty good.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow! (Yeah)”

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Andrew: “And, I love that the call was coming from inside the bathroom”

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Andrew: Funny Laugh

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Andrew: “Hey, there! Just finishing up… drawing here. That is the final sail! There! Good! Sign that baby.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know; because, I just feel like every time I mention anything about Star Wars on this show, I’m wrong.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Never mind”

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Andrew: “Oh, come on!”

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Andrew: “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: “Yip! Yip! Yip!”

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Andrew: “You’re just a Whirling Dervish of fists and elbows”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hey, Luke, I need to ask you a question. Is there any chance this is off the album ‘Summerteeth’; because, that would be both. That would check both boxes. It is!! Sorry to interrupt you, I hope you fee–I hope you feel like it was worth it. Absolute–a hundred percent. Great.”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Andrew and Luke: “Luckily, nobody does anything really horrible to you. They feed you water and bread, keep you alive. On the sixth day, you escape. Gotta pass on the bread, man. They… You guys have any Duke’s sausages?”

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Andrew and Luke: Shampoo-shaming

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Andrew and Luke: The idea of Andrew only having one tooth and brushing it at a water fountain at O’Hare cracks Luke up

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Andrew and Luke: “These are our Chief Seattle donors of the day. These are our Chief Seattle level donors of the day.”

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Luke: “Aw, hell no!”

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Luke: “I’m very, I’m, I’m very nervous about, you know, contact with weirdness”

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Luke: “I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers, Andrew.”

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Luke: “It’s Ghyna!”

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Luke: “It’s like a Jenga of toilet paper”

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Luke: “Sup, dude?”

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Luke: “They were in fact, the Max Rebo Band, fictional alien pop music band, level donors of the day”

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Luke: “Today’s donors are our Mos Eisley… Cantina… scum… hive of scum and villainy level donors of the day”

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Luke: Trust relationship between Luke and Olive, the Bay Kitty, has eroded and Game of Cats returns

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Luke: “Wow!”

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Luke: “You paint your bald spot?”

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Luke and Andrew: “But never Nellie Oleson right? No, God! She’s so obnoxious! (Thank you)”

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Luke and Andrew: “By the way, hold on. I gotta turn the, shut the door here. She doesn’t know? She doesn’t know about your shopping addiction? She doesn’t know that I paint my bald spot.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It feels like a legit, hermetic barrier to somebody else’s butt funk. (Ewwwgh!) I thought we could get through a show without you saying that word.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke plying his Al Pacino impression, also known as his Stephen Hawking on The Simpsons impression

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “Shorty” and Andrew saying “Double Duke’s”

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Luke and Andrew: “Sit down, shut up, and hold on, you know? (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, who the hell is Mos Eisley? I don’t know.”

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Luke: “A little extra audio drop. That–you don’t even have to pay for that extra audio drop, people. Just to hear it for free.”

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Luke: “Are you allowed to talk about how bunch of money it is?”

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “Despite the fact that I have been try to… create my own Amish paradise… for myself”

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Luke: “Easy, Trump”

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Luke: “God… bless! God… bless”

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Luke: “I don’t have a middle gear on these things”

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Luke: “I’ll be danged”

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Luke: “Listen, everybody, I wanna, I wanna just give a warning to all of our animal lovers out there. This warning goes out to all of the animal lovas, in the TBTL audience; of which, I know there are a few.”

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Luke: “Mama didn’t raise no fool!”

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Luke: “Mr. Burbank… we had to correct your family”

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Luke: “My brain is bad”

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Luke: “Oh! You broke my heart. You broke-a my heart, New York Magazine!”

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Luke: “Our donors of the day; which, are our John Williams, Star Wars Cantina level donors the day”

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Luke: Saying “We’re going to Secrets!” in a sing-songy manner

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Luke: Singing “I’m in the mood for love, simply because you’re near me”

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Luke: “Snap your fingers! Do the stair. You can do right by your self! Snap your fingers”

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Luke: “That’s a young man’s game”

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Luke: “There’s a botched Hidden Valley Ranch…joke on my podcast!”

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Luke: “WTF”

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Luke: “You wanna know what kind of dombass your friend Luke is”

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Luke: “You’ve always hosted Live Wire, Mr. Burbank”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew suggested that the deck of cards that were funnier than Luke should host Live Wire

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Luke and Andrew: “Are you on Snapchat? Umm, yeah… I am.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t understand… business, Andrew… (Nor do I)”

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Luke and Andrew: “No fucking way. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Que paso, my dude. Right.”

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