Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Didn’t know you like to get sweat though”

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Andrew: “I don’t think it’s gonna make it through the mountains!”

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Andrew: “I smelt it; therefore, I doth not dealt it”

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Andrew: “I’m getting, kinda, puckery at this part”

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Andrew: “It’s a great sound… and, I’m not saying that sarcastically. It is a good sound”

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Andrew: “Oh, come on. Get outta here ya… ya scamp!”

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Andrew: “She needs a little bit more… Lukles time, I think”

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Andrew: “Steve Nelson… Yoo-loo-doodle-doo”

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Andrew: “That is a hell of a thing, man!”

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Andrew: “That’s where you need to just be a, a smooth criminal”

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Andrew: “The fact that I am not a chaos muppet”

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Andrew: “We got a note from a listener who’s concerned with these things”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Oh, shoot! No. Don’t. Get away from that”

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Andrew: “You need to get your name off of this… fantasy team. I mean, for your own good”

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Andrew: “You’re 95 percent full”

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Andrew and Luke: “Oh, God! Who did that!? Aw, it’s probably this guy (Can I please move?) over here! Can I please move?”

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Luke: “God, I used to be so fun, Andrew!”

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Luke: “Housekeeping!”

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Luke: “It’s not oozing; it’s overflowing”

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Luke: “Pssshh!!! No-waaahhh!”

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Luke: “This week featuring me… unnaturally sweaty”

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Luke and Andrew: “Insta-Hard. Actually, that one I’m gonna… flag; I could… you know… do some reading on that… (Insta-Heart?) Insta-Hard… Like, as in… (Oh, no! Oh, dear!) as in male enhancement… (I… wish I hadn’t asked a follow-up)”

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Note: The show numbers got a bit wonky starting with #3702 in the podcast feed and on TBTL.net. This show, posted on June 14, 2022, was listed as #3704.

Andrew: “Again, not to take this to After These Messages Town”

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Andrew: “Aw, shit, yeah!”

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Andrew: “I was able to find a backdoor into the website”

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Andrew: “I’m boring myself with those stories now”

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Andrew: “It’s the house that poop built”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Less scatological, more cat-ological”

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Andrew: “My initial reaction is, like… ‘No. I’m not buying that one.’ And, then, I… and, then, I think about, and I shadowbox in my head for a week, and, then, I come around… to start feeling, like, ‘Oh, wait. You know what? That person was right'”

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Andrew: “Oh, this is more of a stretch; cuz, it’s less… racist”

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Andrew: “Sorry… everybody, about the last 3 minutes”

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Andrew: “Wait, hold on. Hold on… That’s funny… Is there anything wrong with that?”

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Andrew: “You are a big nerd”

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Andrew: “You know what? I don’t wanna associate with shame anymore”

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Andrew: “Yum, yum, yum!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do you have a bathroom door? I think you should start closing the bathroom door… Do you know that literally never occurred to me? I’m… That’s not–I’m not… That’s–I’m not being sarcastic”

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Andrew and Luke: “I thought I knew all your jokes! I can still surprise you, buddy… all these years later”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s the house that poop built… And, we have our show title… (No, we don’t!) Okay, I had to try”

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Luke: “Burbank’s hierarchy of worries”

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Luke: “Can we get through one show where you don’t promote Live Wire?”

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Luke: “I don’t believe in conspiracies; but, do they have the cure for Super Glue?”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna yuck anyone’s yum”

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Luke: “I will never be in style again”

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Luke: “I’m the Monster energy drink of people”

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Luke: “It’s, like, I’m the… I’m the Monster energy drink of people”

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Luke: “What is this weirdness?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs… Hmm-hmm… Burbank’s hierarchy of worries… related to the cat… (Mmm-hmm) the top… the apex worry, for me, is… her needing to… go to the bathroom and not being able to get to her litter box”

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Note: The show numbers got a bit wonky starting with #3702 in the podcast feed and on TBTL.net. This show, posted on June 13, 2022, was listed as #3703.

Andrew: “Are you [bleep]-ing serious!?”

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Andrew: “Bing!”

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Andrew: “Hey… do you mind… if I put my… butter… my butter… here”

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Andrew: “It’ll be a real… Kloster-fluff”

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Andrew: “Like, what am I doing when I’m screaming at Red Sox fans? I don’t know”

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Andrew: “No way, man!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God… I think you’re in love with me”

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Andrew: “Oh, you’re gonna start using my own words against me!”

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Andrew: “People are gonna hate this for all kinds of reasons”

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Andrew: “Psst!!”

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Andrew: “She probably needs to get her ya-yas out a little bit more”

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Andrew: “Was Stephen Tobolowsky kind of a snack?”

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Andrew: “We’re probably gonna take this too far”

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Andrew: “What you do is you get these little things called ‘Scat'”

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Andrew: “When we win with a walk-off blooper… like… I… became the asshole… I… started screaming at Red Sox fans”

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Andrew: “Where’s your song!? I thought you had a song!”

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Andrew: “Why didn’t I get the warranty?”

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Andrew: “You’re holding a sledgehammer and, at some point, you just took the first, full body swing with a sledgehammer… at a fireplace. If, if that’s true, what the hell was that like?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Are you [bleep]-ing serious!? You’re gonna take Kristin’s side on this!? This is such a cool–I wish this was a drawing of me! This person looks so bad-ass!”

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Luke: “Alright, Tobo… Calm down, Tobo… Take it down a notch, Tobo”

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Luke: “Dingus!”

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Luke: “Don’t you work here!?”

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Luke: “I promise you, it won’t feel… Kloster-phobic… in that theater”

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Luke: “I was gonna listen to the Mariners game, and I was gonna demolish… my sense of happiness in the world; and, it worked!”

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Luke: Making a cat rawr-ing sound

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Luke: Making demolition hammer sounds

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Luke: “My body may never recover… That is a true story”

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Luke: “My family! Gas prices!”

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Luke: “Oh, yeah. Right there”

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Luke: “Okay, which ex should I send it to? Carey? Romo? Did you ever meet Nicola?”

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Luke: “This is ridiculous!”

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Luke: “We’re behind enemy lines!”

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Luke: “Well, this is a napkin now”

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Luke: “What did I do?”

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Luke: “You cannot treat people this way!”

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Note: The show numbers got a bit wonky starting with #3702 in the podcast feed and on TBTL.net. This show, posted on June 10, 2022, was listed as #3702.

Andrew: “Adulting!”

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Andrew: “Bad Lieutenant 3: Can of Corn Call?”

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Andrew: “Bambi! Sounds like straight up Bambi shit”

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Andrew: “Doesn’t he say, ‘bleeping me’?”

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Andrew: “Every hair is different, Luke. Every little hair on that head of yours is different”

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Andrew: “I always promised you a rose garden”

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Andrew: “I cannot give out any hair advice. I mean… for Christ’s sake, look at me. I cannot give out any hair advice”

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Andrew: “I don’t understand it. That is labeled, ‘Can of Corn’!”

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Andrew: “I messed with some Pert Plus”

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Andrew: “I need my me time!”

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Andrew: “I was a… power user of Pert Plus growing up”

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Andrew: “I’m slinging tent”

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Andrew: “If I say anything that is insulting to you or your colleagues over there, we can… cut it out”

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Andrew: “My brain is bad”

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Andrew: “Oh… hurr?!”

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Andrew: “Permission to speak freely”

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Andrew: Saying “Ah-wooh? Is this a baseball?” as Adam Sandler

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Andrew: “Soft launch, hard sign”

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Andrew: “Take the picture!! Get me out of here!”

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Andrew: “That’s my brain!”

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Andrew: “That’s my brain!” #2

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Andrew: “This is not a good thing, by the way. I should probably just shut up right now for… both… to not say this both in front of you and the listeners”

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Andrew and Luke: “You gotta be… (You gotta be freaking me!) you gotta be bleeping me! (Are you… are you freaking me!?)”

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Luke: “But, I’ll tell you what, Andrew… it is… nice”

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Luke: “I’m… getting glammed!”

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Luke: “Is it weird that I like it when my pee smells like asparagus?”

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Luke: “It mocks me every time I open that drawer”

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Luke: “Obviously, this is not how… it works”

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Luke: “That won’t be fun and flirty enough!”

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Luke: “That’s what it sounds like when I drink water, by the way… for all of you SM–ASMR-heads… Or, even if you’re into SMR”

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Luke: “Why didn’t I bring my bell to Chicago?”

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Luke: “You got this!”

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Luke: “You’re almost there! You got this! You’re nailing it!”

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Luke: “You’re almost there!”

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Luke: “You’re nailing it!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ooh-la-la! Oh-la-la! Big, beautiful purple balls over the plate. Yeah, man”

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Andrew: “‘Like, you don’t have any upcoming events.’ It’s like, ‘Like hell I don’t!'”

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Andrew: “As we famously say on this show, Luke… you don’t need your gestalt to work here, but it helps”

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Andrew: “Do I say Septamber [ph] funny? What happened to my… what happened to my face as I was saying ‘September’?”

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Andrew: “Don’t move, Brandon!”

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Andrew: “I could also talk about lady fingers for a while”

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Andrew: “I don’t think I’m moving in the, in the right direction with the rest of society”

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Andrew: “I still sometimes wake up, in the middle of the night, screaming… it was so bad”

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Andrew: “I wanna be… the good boyfriend today, and see if I can swoop in like a hero with some lady fingers”

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Andrew: “I’ll tell everybody a, a funny little… cartoon meme that I saw on… the Internet recently”

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Andrew: “I’ll tell everybody a, a funny little… cartoon meme that I saw on… the Internet recently… I’m just hearing the words I’m saying”

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Andrew: “I’m too old for the Internet!”

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Andrew: “My snowflakiness was so triggered by the… you know, here comes the swear, but… by somebody driving this big truck that says, ‘Fuck the Vax'”

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Andrew: “Oh, you’re in deep coach!”

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Andrew: Singing “Slot Man!”

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Andrew: “Sorry, I’m in a mood”

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Andrew: “Stay stationary, Brandon”

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Andrew: “That is the most Taargüs-Taargüs e-mail I’ve ever seen”

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Andrew: “That shit gets hot”

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Andrew: “Those are not… words!”

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Andrew: “Who wants a Blurs? We want a Blurs”

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Andrew: “You don’t need your gestalt to work here, but it helps”

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Andrew and Luke: “No, you’re just trapped! You’re just extending your hell (Yes)”

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Luke: “Critical Race Marketing… Convention?”

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Luke: “I’m Mikey. I’ll eat anything”

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Luke: “Pyramid of nonsense”

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Luke: “Stay put, Brandon!”

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Luke: “Stickies!”

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Luke: “Stickies!” #2

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Andrew: “Doing the rounds like a dad! Like, I had strong dad energy”

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Andrew: “Free beer! Suck it, John O’Brien!”

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Andrew: “Get outta here, ya scoundrel!”

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Andrew: “Get your boosters, y’all”

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Andrew: “Happy plugs”

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Andrew: “I almost got emotional the other night! I was probably drunk”

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Andrew: “I had been… on my phone, kind of, quickly scanning a few times leading up to this dump run”

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Andrew: “I just don’t care!”

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Andrew: “I went to the dump last week”

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Andrew: “I’m an old man. I need to get with the times”

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Andrew: “It was just like an echo chamber of awfulness”

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Andrew: “It’s like Cocktober [ph] in June”

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Andrew: “Like, I go ga-ga over just having, you know, ice and water in the door of my refrigerator”

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Andrew: “That rubber situation that I did not like”

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Andrew: “This is… a corny thing to say”

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Andrew: “This seems like a, an opportunity to really Burbank something here”

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Andrew: “This would be the ‘Me Defender'”

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Andrew: “You don’t belong here… and you know it”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have leaned even more into my anti-socialness. I realize like that there’s so many people that I have not seen… (I thought you were gonna say ‘semitism’) Save that for our other podcast”

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Andrew and Luke: “Like, my God! Every homestand, how many truckloads of garbage just leaves this place? And, that’s just the Mariners’ reliever. Ha-ha-ha, hey!”

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Luke: “Alright. Let’s take that quick break; and, then, when we come back… we will… talk dopamine”

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Luke: “Because, it’s maybe Cocktober [ph]“

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Luke: “Doctor Long Fingernails”

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Luke: “I mean, it’s the… it’s the goddamn… Hoover Dam of dopamine being released into my brain”

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Luke: “I need to have another alive thing in this apartment that I’m responsible for”

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Luke: “I’m from this… generation that has totally fetishized… gas”

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Luke: “I’m from this… generation that has totally fetishized… gas… ranges”

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Luke: “It was literally… a major disaster”

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Luke: Making an Apple AirPod connecting sound

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Luke: “My recommendation to you, not that you asked”

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Luke: “No mountain too tall; and, good luck to y’all”

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Luke: “This is me roasting myself… much like a… Brussel sprout”

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Luke: “We gotta get gas”

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Luke: “We gotta have that gas”

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Luke: “We gotta have that gas stove”

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Luke: “You gotta get the gas going”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s your window to dump runs (Yeah!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s phone rings while he talks about taking in the rhythms, sounds, smells and vibes of being in nature

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