Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “And, that is almost exactly what effing happened”

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Andrew: “But, Luke”

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Andrew: “But, man… The Browns had no, they just have no coverage… at all!”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Eww, eww, eww”

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Andrew: “Flipping his shit out”

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Andrew: “Goddamn!”

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Andrew: “I got what I need out of a storm. Just enough to scare me.”

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Andrew: “I’m not just trying to be gross here”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry. Once again, my microphone was muted; because, I’m a professional.”

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Andrew: “It is nasty out there!”

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Andrew: “Just flipped me the shit out”

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Andrew: “Late at night, as I was smoking my health cigarette on the back porch”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Let go and let jank”

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Andrew: “Let me ask you a quick question about clock management, while we’re just keeping things interesting. Cuz, nothing’s more interesting than clock management.”

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Andrew: “Look at how goddamn fat my face is”

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Andrew: “No way!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God. I know”

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Andrew: “Oh, good. You wanna talk about the Browns? It is nasty out there!”

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Andrew: “Rawr”

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Andrew: Saying “Sue me? She me for wha’?” as Sylvester Stallone

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Andrew: Sighing

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Speaking of out routes, I’m trying… Now I’m confused. I can’t remember which game this was! I’m pretty sure it was the Seahawks game.”

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Andrew: “That is the worst! That is the worst Stallone.”

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Andrew: “They are… hideous”

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Andrew: “This is the worst. Can I just not say this?”

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Andrew: “Well, I don’t know, the red light’s on! Isn’t it working?”

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Andrew: “Well… God, it’s cyclical.”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew: “You mother-effer!”

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Andrew and Luke: Crystal Pepsi Cleanse

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Andrew and Luke: “I guess this is obvious and maybe I’m parroting what you say all the time? Somebody I listen to says this all the time… Then it’s not me.”

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Andrew and Luke: “That’s funny; cuz, I think you look good but no interesting. So… God… Son of a bitch!”

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Luke: “Hey, Rock! You can do it!”

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Luke: “If you go to my Twitter page. Do you have a Twitter page? If you go to where the tweets radiate from my personality.”

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Luke: “It’s exactly what I thought it was!”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Lemme try to get into the headspace of Sly Stallone”

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Luke: “Mark my words. Mark my words.”

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Luke: “My hair is cuckoo bananas”

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Luke: “Oh, man.”

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Luke: Re-enacting a local news traffic reporter having problems with a computer

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Luke: “Rudy is just licking the living S out of the side of my face”

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Luke: Saying “You’re the disease and I’m the cure” as Sylvester Stallone

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Luke: “Storm Tracker Seven!”

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Luke: “Umm… Wow, it’s a great call… I guess… I guess I like it?”

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Luke: “Unleash the Kraken”

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Luke: “What!!?”

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Luke: “You can McDonald Super-Mo in 4K”

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Luke and Andrew: “Can I tell you about my fantasy this week? Which is, (Ohhhh) I mean, very bad.”

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “I’m gonna make this my problem. I, I just made this podcast my problem. Now it’s personal.” as Sylvester Stallone

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Luke and Andrew: “They still ended up scoring a ka-billion points (Uhh)”

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Luke and Andrew: “We could sit here talking about how much we hate ourselves. But, instead, we can talk about how much we hate this song.”

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Luke and Andrew: “We don’t win. We don’t win anymore, Andrew. (I know) We don’t win anymore.”

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Andrew: “Amazon, you’re the best!”

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Andrew: “Congrats. You won. It wasn’t supposed to be a contest, Luke.”

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Andrew: “Ho-ohh, wow!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what word you’re thinking of; but, I don’t wanna know”

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Andrew: “I think there might be something broken in the re-telling of that though.”

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Andrew: “I was saying, ‘Boo-urns'”

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Andrew: “I’m a little on the fence here”

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Andrew: “I’m not trying to be ‘Not, but,’ by the way”

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Andrew: “Lord, do I wish I had some better ideas”

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Andrew: “Maybe you want to wait until we till my soil of my, of my humor”

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Snorting #2

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Andrew: “Strong start?”

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Andrew: “The business of show”

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Andrew: “Why are you sending ‘Sleep Easy, Hutch Rimes’ to my parent’s house in Ohio!?”

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Andrew: “You slam your thumbnail in a car door. At first, it hurts; but then, the pressure builds and builds and builds. And then, finally, on Thursday, you heat up a paperclip and you push it through your thumbnail, and pressure is relieved on Thursday.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew ordered a DVD through Amazon and accidentally had it shipped to his parents address

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Andrew and Luke: “I dunno. Maybe, maybe a hard rain is gonna come on Monday (Oh, wow) and wash this, wash this music away.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Lone Laugh’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Anything to take my mind off of the fact that that door is about to open, and I’m about to be exposed for the podcaster that I am.”

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Luke: “Help me”

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Luke: “Hey, speaking of good radio, I’ve, I’ve fully submersed myself in, in the dark.”

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Luke: “I can get down with that”

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Luke: “I don’t really follow new music, cuz I’m a kid. She didn’t say that. I added that.”

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Luke: “I need this! I need my powder!”

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Luke: “I need to put on my big boy podcasting pants”

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Luke: “I really am. I have deep shame today, Andrew.”

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Luke: “I, I landed at JFK in New York. That’s not true.”

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Luke: “In Portland, Oregon… The Bay City”

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Luke: “It was, it was drama that didn’t pay off. What else is new for this show?”

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Luke: “Oh my God, you’re so woke!”

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Luke: “One is not enough. Two is the right amount; and, three is not enough?”

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Luke: “One is not enough. Two is too many. And, three is not enough.”

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Luke: “Our long national nightmare is over”

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Luke: “Robyn ‘Tindr’baum”

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Luke: “There’s, there’s some useful info in this for the listeners, for once.”

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Luke: “This is gonna be the last part of our broadcast week”

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Luke: “Well, hey there folks… furries and non-furries alike. You’re all welcome to enjoy this Friday afternoon edition of TBTL, the show that just might be Too Beautiful To Live.”

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Luke: “You’re like the most woke white guy”

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Luke and Andrew: “Also, it doesn’t help that I’m about three piña coladas in. Oh, really? Seriously? Piña coladas?”

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Luke and Andrew: “If we average the amount of (Yeah) broadcast we did this week, it would be about an hour a day.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s, it’s as-if I did this show completely nude, (Right) you know, holding a salmon in one hand, and bagging it against a, a picture of Cheryl Tiegs.”

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Luke and Andrew: “The salmon we’re fine with. The fact that you’re naked, no problemo. Karaoke version of Fabulous Thunderbirds? I would kill to see Robyn’s face if she ever heard this.”

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s everybody’s buddy. Also, Joseph. (That was) Joseph… That was so demeaning.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know, it’s like Oprah says, ‘Living your least bald life.’ Bald like everybody’s watching.”

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Andrew: “Bob Dylan fans are about to get a lot more annoying”

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Andrew: “Did you know that I missed the Wallingford Sausagefest this year?”

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Andrew: “Don’t put me on that list”

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Andrew: Drawn out “I don’t know”

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Andrew: “Err-erk”

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Andrew: “I don’t do Dylan, dude!”

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Andrew: “I wish I had said that”

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Andrew: “It’s so janky!”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, this gets kind of dirty!”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Power out!”

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Andrew: Saying “I don’t care!” as Harrison Ford

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Andrew: “This is just, it’s just, sit back Luke. This is just story time.”

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Andrew: “Well, obviously, no.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It is… (No mountain too) nasty out there! It is… nasty out there.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, that’s the thing about your pool is I heard it’s strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman. pH balanced by a woman. I wish I had said that.”

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Luke: “Breath edit is our love language”

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Luke: David Burbank, aka The Tallest Burbank

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Luke: “Does a meth-head love The Loud Ass Crackers?”

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Luke: “Hell, yeah!”

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Luke: “I’ll be gall-darned”

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Luke: “Long meandering story, longer”

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Luke: Luke bought an umbrella

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Luke: “My bruv”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from Digital Underground’s “The Humpty Dance”

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Luke: Saying “I thought they smelled bad… on the outside!” as Harrison Ford

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Luke: “Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet”

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Luke: “What does, what do any of those words mean?”

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Luke: “You’re messing it up! You’re messing it up! Why are you doing this!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Actually, now they are sticks, (Oh, that’s not a…) and I’ll tell you this. That’s how you find out if your pool’s pregnant. That’s right. Ah, I gotta wear a condom when I’m in that pool; cuz, I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for those pool babies.”

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Luke and Andrew: Attempting Harrison Ford Impressions

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Luke and Andrew: “But, anytime you have a, a Loud Ass Cracker talking about ‘Storm’ anything, I get a little uncomfortable (Right)”

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Luke and Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “How did I miss that!? Son of a gun!”

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Andrew: “I don’t know. I’m totally shooting from the hip here, and I could be a hundred percent wrong.”

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Andrew: “I’m getting freaked out just thinking about it.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Oh, wow!”

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Andrew: Saying “Ha!!!” and claps

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Andrew: Singing “It’s gerund”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Thank god!”

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Andrew: “That’s awful. That’s an awful sound.”

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Andrew: “Trump!”

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Andrew: Trying to say “The Boston Globe” in a spooky manner

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “What the heck”

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Andrew: “What, what, what?”

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Andrew: “You gonna yell at me? You gonna try to scare me?”

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Andrew: “You’re on Candid Podcast!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “Oh, no!” while Luke is talking about podcast downloads

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew wants to know how Luke’s corned beef dinner turned out before starting Top Stories

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Andrew and Luke: “I assume that every other network is taking a rather generous interpretation of their numbers. Well, yeah; because, it’s in their best interest! We would have to work for the most Lutheran organization… I mean, seriously!”

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Andrew and Luke: Laughing

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Listener Hau: “I really, really feel the need to Vietsplain this”

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Listener Hau and Andrew: Andrew laughing to Hau saying “After you guys… I, I don’t, I don’t know what you guys were doing; but, it was pretty good…”

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Luke: “Dang it!”

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Luke: “Hello, Ms. Bolden. Nice to meet you.”

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Luke: “Hello!”

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Luke: “I’m here… at the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center, awash in Coke Zero”

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Luke: “It’s what Garrison would do”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “Oh, now you like it”

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Luke: “Oh, shit!”

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Luke: Playing the song from a zombie sitting on a toilet animatronic

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Luke: Singing “Stop! You’re on Candid Podcast!”

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Luke: Surprised Reaction

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Luke: “This is going to sound… right on the edge of being racist”

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Luke: “This was a pony they didn’t want to hitch their wagons to today, and I don’t blame them.”

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Luke: Trying to sniff as quickly as possible

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Luke: “Wha-ha!!!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, that’s what I tried to do. I tried to… You can’t! You don’t have the, have a slit in your nose. (Well) Or, did you put a slit in your nose? Don’t put a slit in your nose. I wish you would’ve talked to me about, I don’t know, an hour and a half ago. Yeah. (Yeah)”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s not into the mud, it’s into the weeds; which, are on top of the mud. I feel like that’s a show title.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke trying to say “Nguyen” twice and Andrew saying “Okay, yeah, stop saying it. You’re making me feel uncomfortable.”

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Luke and Andrew: Nguyenning and #Nguyenning

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Luke and Andrew: “Should we try to get this woman on Live Wire while… That’s what I was gonna say!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s fine. That good. I got it. We good. We set. (Good, God)”

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Luke and Andrew: “The last name of Ing… Wait, I’ve already forgotten. Don’t. Let’s just play the voicemail.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This song goes out to all the Common lovers of the world. That’s a pretty good spoof.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, wouldn’t it be the ‘Booston Globe’? Oh, the Booston Globe! How did I miss that!? Son of a gun!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You’re fanning that fart, man! (Mmm-hmm)”

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Mimicking Fart Sound

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Andrew: “But, it’s all coming back to me now, Luke.”

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Andrew: “But, you just wanted to play the ‘Ghina’ drop!”

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Andrew: “Do we have anybody on the Hard Rock Rock-sino Northfield Park Hotline to walk us through that story, by any chance?”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna give a shit about that”

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Andrew: “I don’t want you to do anything. I want you to be happy.”

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Andrew: “I like soggy carrots”

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Andrew: “I’m associate to the producer”

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Andrew: “It still got, kind of, you know, pretty loose and cabbage-y; but, it wasn’t just a big thing of slop.”

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Andrew: “It’s a total catch and release puppy trap operation I’ve got going over here”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Oh, no! Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “Me too!”

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Andrew: “Nice!”

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Andrew: “Now, I get it.”

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Andrew: “OSHA is now investigating the Browns about unsafe working conditions; because, they’re just going through quarterbacks like the government goes through batteries.”

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Andrew: “Pet the dog!”

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Andrew: “Really!”

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Andrew: Saying “TBTL Up All Night” as Gilbert Gottfried

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “Worth it!”

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Andrew: “Yas!”

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Andrew: “Yasss Larson!”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “Crazy, crazy” and Luke laughing

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s corned beef is dressed up like a nun

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Andrew and Luke: “Did she say, ‘Rock it up, I’ll take it?’ Oh, Andrew Walsh!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Football! Yes.”

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Luke: “AFLAC!”

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Luke: “And, it turns out, we were both wrong.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Fabulous Thunderbird level donors of the day”

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Luke: “I don’t mean the modern Germans, I mean like the bad ones… like from the 90s.”

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Luke: “I think that… By the way, I think Bank of America might have Wells Fargo’d me.”

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Luke: “I would, I have applied for loans drunk! All the time!”

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Luke: “I’m marooned here in the Burbank Springs Kitchen Centers”

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Luke: Laughing and saying “Oh, man!”

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Luke: Laughing and saying “Rock-sino!”

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Luke: “My feelings on this matter are a hundred percent motivated by the fact that I have bad credit; and, it makes me angry.”

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Luke: “Olive… looks at me sometimes like I’m coming down the hall wearing a belt made out of dead cats.”

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Luke: Quiet Chuckle

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Luke: “Rudy!”

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Luke: Saying “In China” in a Trumpian manner

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Luke: “Yasss!”

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Luke: “You know, I just took my sweet ass time paying the forty dollars, or whatever I charged on it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Are onions bad for dogs? I dunno. Would they even mess with one? Oh, Rudy will, Rudy will mess with anything. (Really?) But, then, her butt will mess with us. (Yeah) So that’s the big question.”

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Andrew: “Alright!”

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Andrew: “And Genevieve would just like smack me, if she were here right now”

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Andrew: “And then, boom! We’re gonna blast them with the static again.”

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Andrew: “And, I will admit here; although, nobody tell Genevieve”

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Andrew: “And, that was the best five hundred dollars Linh Pham ever made. Putting on that wig and going into the restroom to get that, and posting it.”

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Andrew: Attempting to sing “Wrap It Up” with a Chipmunks-like voice

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Andrew: “But, goddamn it, it feels good to unclog that stuff!”

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Andrew: “But, I’m also not blowing smoke up your patooie”

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Andrew: “Don’t, don’t make fun of me.”

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Andrew: Funny Laugh

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Andrew: “Goddamn it!”

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Andrew: “Good grief. Really?”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank.”

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Andrew: “Here’s the deal, I’m in a situation where I’m a little confused; but, I don’t want you to answer it.”

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Andrew: “If your reaction was anything different, I would worry about you.”

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Andrew: “It just like takes the fun out of everything”

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Andrew: “It’s such a charade”

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Andrew: “Johnny effin’ Football”

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Andrew: Making funny sounds and saying “Right”

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Andrew: “Not to take it back to… Boring Town”

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Andrew: “Oh yeah, that’s normal.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God”

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Andrew: “Powe–Power out!”

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Andrew: Reacting to Luke playing “Wrap It Up”

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Andrew: Saying “Oh, goddamn it!” when hearing “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”

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Andrew: Singing “Round up all the swan boats”

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Andrew: Singing “What a piece of work are the Browns” in a depressed manner

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Andrew: “Sometimes I say the loud part quiet, and the quiet part loud.”

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Andrew: “That is sexy!”

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Andrew: “This is gonna sound nuts, Luke; and, it’s gonna sound like… it’s gonna sound like. I dunno what it’s gonna sound like, sounds nuts.”

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Andrew: “Two men and a microphone, or two and a half men and a microphone, one and a half men and a microphone”

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Andrew: “Undecided! Undecided! Leaning towards Hillary!”

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Andrew: “What a piece of work is man… Sorry.”

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Andrew: “What a weird show”

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Andrew: “Why are we doing this to each other and the listeners?”

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Andrew and Luke: “And the names keep getting worse and worse; now, it’s ‘Art Marble 21’. What (What!!?) the hell!?”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew groaning and Luke chuckling

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Andrew and Luke: “Holy crap! Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “They’ll do anything to get on (Right) TV!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What (What!!?) the hell!?”

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Luke: “And I’ll be goddamned”

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Luke: “Another three hour… tour. A three hour tour.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Cold. Grey. Wet. Dead.”

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Luke: “Holy shit!”

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Luke: “Hooo!”

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Luke: “I win on the field of fantasy”

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Luke: “It feels like I’m getting an extremely heavy dose of real life today”

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Luke: “It’s Murphy’s Law. I’m sorry, it’s M-phry’s Law.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh, crapola!”

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Luke: “Oh, dear God. How did he end up there?”

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Luke: “Questions! Questions! And more questions!”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”

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Luke: Reciting lyrics from The Fabulous Thunderbirds’s “Wrap It Up”

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Luke: Reciting more lyrics from The Fabulous Thunderbirds’s “Wrap It Up”

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Luke: Saying “Is that bad?” in a nasally voice

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Luke: “We couldn’t have spent all that time talking about what a piece of shit is Luke’s pool cover”

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Luke: “We’d like to thank our braised corn beef brisket”

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Luke: Whispering “Gotcha, you son of a bitch!”

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Luke: “You can’t type most words”

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Luke and Andrew: “And, it’s like two grand. Holy crap! Yeah! Yeah! I thought it was gonna be a few hundo!”

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Luke and Andrew: Gutter Talk

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Luke and Andrew: “I have only one choice, and that is… to thank our Fabulous Thunderbird (Oh, no!) level”

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Luke and Andrew: Odd noises from Luke’s end and Andrew snorting

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Luke and Andrew: “Please never, ever, ever blow smoke up my patooie. (No, I, I won’t)”

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Luke and Andrew: “What… the fuck… (Right?) is this”

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Luke and Andrew: “Who’s the muralist who’s famous for doing the… I’ve never been able to answer a question that begins ‘Who’s the muralist’. You know this. Don’t, don’t make fun of me.”

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