Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “But, it just seems so cheesy to me”

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Andrew: “Do a quick Google on it!”

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Andrew: “Dry, dry, throw on floor.”

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Andrew: “Dry, dry, throw on the floor. Dry, dry, throw on the floor. You never have to use the same towel twice.”

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Andrew: “First of all, I didn’t know that you were in the Klan. Yikes.”

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Andrew: “Inapropes”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “My milkshake brings all the aliens to the yard?”

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Andrew: “No, I’m America’s leading laugher.”

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Andrew: “Now? It’s okay? Now? Okay. Hi, Luke!”

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Andrew: “Ohhh. You’re gonna talk about this?”

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Andrew: “Okay, unpack this.”

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Andrew: Saying “Eight-oh-eight, eight-oh-eight” with an electronic-like voice

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Andrew: “The Browns are just cursed”

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Andrew: “Wait, what?”

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Andrew: “What does that joke mean? What does that observational almost humor mean?”

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Andrew: “Who? What the hell is this woman’s problem?!”

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Andrew: “Your ba-ahdy, as a bor-oard”

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Andrew and Luke: Amy Woo and Amy Whoa

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Andrew and Luke: Breaking the comedy ceiling

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s observational almost-humor. Show title.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Let me think it through a little bit and probably never come up with anything… (Mmmkay)

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Andrew and Luke: “Let’s go back to Garrison, your, uh, role model? Yeah! Yeah. Slash, biological father.”

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Luke: “A Burbank angst fest”

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Luke: “”Hey, Luke! Are you still a pain in everyone’s butt?'”

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Luke: “I was trying to remember that joke!”

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Luke: “It just means that I haven’t gotten my S together on that front”

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Luke: “It’s a real S-hole, I’m gonna be honest with you.”

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Luke: “It’s been a, it’s been a weird few hours here in Lake Phoenix.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Okay, alright, okay, alright!”

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Luke: Saying “Yes” in a weird manner

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Luke: Singing the end of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” and start of “Louie Louie”

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Luke: “So sue me”

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Luke: “This is… new Luke. What did I do? I just said, ‘Okay,’ and I just let her put the ding-dang thing in front of the book; because, who cares.”

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Luke: “You mess with the bull, you get the content.”

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Luke and Andrew: “By your new friend, Calm Luke? Cool, Calm Luke?”

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Luke and Andrew: Chuckling

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Luke and Andrew: Floating in Interstellar Space

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Luke and Andrew: “For the number of times that I’ve gotten that speech, if the plane started crashing, I would have no idea what to do. I’m telling. I’m gonna tell everybody.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, is it cool if I come over to your house on Monday? Umm, sure, for what? TBTL. Oh, yeah! Either way, I was ‘Yes, and.'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Listen, Andrew. If there’s one thing I’m known for, it’s how laser-focused and clean my almost humor is. And, if I’m known for anything, it’s telling it, telling it like it is.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke almost called TBTL “Live Wire” and asked if Andrew could host it instead

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is mellowing out

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Luke and Andrew: “Now I want to cut all this out. It’s official, we’re not sending this episode of the show into space. (Shit!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what? The Kingdome was such a shithole, there was probably all manner of stray animals and humans living in there; some of them who played for the Mariners in the 80s. Wow.”

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Andrew: “Don’t start!”

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Andrew: Drawn out “No!”

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Andrew: Funny Giggle

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Andrew: Funny Laugh

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Andrew: “Hi, I’m Andrew, TBTL”

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Andrew: “I read this article tomorrow, so I can’t remember the details of it.”

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Andrew: “I’m staying in my haunted hotel. I love my haunted hotel.”

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Andrew: “I’m taking the bullet for you. Let it ride.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Laughing #3

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Andrew: “Oh, God”

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Andrew: “Oh, yes! I remember who the true hero is now!”

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Andrew: “Sorry. I’m a little punchy.”

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Andrew: “That, that was the smoking Vaseline in this case.”

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Andrew: “They’re big this year, man!”

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Andrew: “What about that story–we just brought it up on yesterday’s podcast… today? Um, sorry. I’m a little punchy.”

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Andrew: “You don’t want to know”

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Andrew and Luke: Hinky vs Hanky

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Andrew and Luke: “How many times do we have to explain to people tonight that… we’re making tomorrow’s coffee today. Oh my God.”

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Andrew and Luke: “On the Live Wire announcement for the today’s, for tomorrow’s show. Tomorrow’s coffee? That wasn’t even a joke! Oh, God.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Or, maybe we’re all shrinking. I mean. The lanyards are staying the same size. Wait, who’s drunk? I’m really not drunk!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Who gets to do the beatings? Good question.”

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Luke: “As always at Live Wire bad-boy radio celebrity, Luke Burbank will be hosting a night of fun, culture, and all ’round weirdness.”

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Luke: “At the very least, let it cool before you put it… in your poop chute.”

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Luke: “He was selling them these butt nuggets of gold.”

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Luke: “How is she getting those documents out of the office?”

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Luke: “I’m so uncomfortable just fucking existing.”

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Luke: “Skyjinks, woo”

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Luke: “TBTL”

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Luke: “Three Bosses, One Walsh”

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Luke: “We started today in a hotel bed together, at his hotel, the San Carlos”

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Luke: “You’re gonna have to figure out how I am, cuz I’m not gonna tell ya.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Alright, we only have time to do one e-mail quickly; because, it’s almost tomorrow now, as we record this thing… Don’t start!”

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Luke and Andrew: “And one of them had this lanyard on, and then it this ribbon hanging proudly from it that said, ‘First Time Attendee’. That would be the worst!”

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Luke and Andrew: “By way… of his keister. Stop using that legal talk.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know why I always side with the evil doers of the world, Andrew. How much gold do you have up your ass right now? Maybe that would answer that question. None. Have you smelled that bathroom?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just realized something, Andrew. You should live in Singapore. Because, I’m a rule follower, or because you want to see me get caned?”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m really killing your plausible deniability (Yeah) by talking about it on this show. No. Yeah.”

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Luke and Andrew: Introducing themselves to each other

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s extremely helpful to me that everybody else is wearing a fucking lanyard! Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is a lot of sarcasm coming from someone who doesn’t own a printer. I do, it’s just a camping printer. I love… Coleman camping printer.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You had gone to use the restroom. That’s a whole thing which we can get into later. Nothing to do with you. I’m, I’m fine. Yeah.”

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Andrew: “But, uh, it’s just… So, I’m saying ghost.”

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Andrew: Cute Laugh

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Andrew: “God help them!”

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Andrew: “God! God! If you’re listening, give me a sign!”

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Andrew: “He has the best syntax. It is, it is just… I mean, a lot of people are saying he’s got one of the best syntaxes around.”

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Andrew: “I don’t blame their policies. I blame the animals that are walking through airports, buying gum and then spitting it wherever they want.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know what’s going on”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna tell an ‘Oh, Andrew’ story right now.”

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Andrew: “If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome to the show.”

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Andrew: “It’s like word puttering. Sort of.”

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Andrew: “Let’s not beat around the bush, you wanna press your butt up against the window. You wanna moon me from across the city, is what’s going on here.”

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Andrew: “N-No”

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Andrew: “Oh, Christ”

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Andrew: “Opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose… and then the noun.”

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Andrew: “Probably is gonna be our President. Oh, Christ. Sorry.”

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Andrew: Saying “WikiHow” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Ugh, but that guy is such a doucher”

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Andrew: “Umm, is there any ink on my face?”

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Andrew: “We do day rates and we do night rates”

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Andrew: “What!?!”

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Andrew: “What!?! People are assholes. Seriously! Who are you?”

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Andrew: “You paint better word pictures than me”

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Andrew: “You’re insane”

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Andrew and Luke: “If anyone’s peeping on me, who is that person? I want to interview them! What’s going on upstairs? And downstairs. What fetish (Right) is this satisfying?”

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Luke: “Along with trying to see… boobs, gum ruled everything around me, when I was a kid.”

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Luke: “Andrew, I can’t figure out why I wasn’t a chick magnet: I was 120 pounds and covered in acne!”

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Luke: “Because, I want to see my woif, and I want to see the aminals [sic]“

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Luke: “But, my good friend, Andrew Walsh, is still trying to deal with his own personal Exxon Valdez.”

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Luke: “Drink it in, Phoenix. If you want to see all 187 pounds of Luke Burbank in his Hanes, in his Hanes briefs; by all means, go for it.”

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Luke: “Hubba Bubba”

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Luke: “I gotta get a girl”

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Luke: “Oh hi, Denny!”

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Luke: Saying “Power out” in an Australian accent

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Luke: Saying “We don’t win anymore. We don’t win anymore. We’re gonna win again. We’re gonna win again.” as Donald Trump

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Luke: “Somebody got a show”

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Luke and Andrew: “But as we say on this program, looking’s free, touching will cost ya. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can do these workouts in my tighty whities (Oh, Christ)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I just touched a part of Andrew’s body in bed that (Ba-ahdy) he didn’t authorize me to.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Ira Glass is talking right now at the PRPD. We’re missing it, Andrew! Are you bummed? (I know)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, Andrew. Oh, Andrew… there it is!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, hi, Luke. (Mmm-hmm) Oh, hi, Denny!”

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Luke and Andrew: The look of disappointment on Andrew’s face

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Luke and Andrew: “Well, let me horrify the audience (Oh, God… and me?!? Man…) And your colleague. Just so you know, he raised his hand… to make sure I knew who he was talking about.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What are we doing here, people? (What are we…) What are we doing? What are we doing?”

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Luke and Andrew: Whispering “What?!? Wow.”

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Andrew: “And swell music”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Wow”

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Andrew: “I kind of love it!”

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Andrew: “It was Operation: Cluck-Cluck”

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Andrew: “It’s got a big ink stain on the shoulder, like I got shot during the Smurf Wars, or something like that.”

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Andrew: “It’s Tesla-town now”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: “The cradle of Luke-ocracy”

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Andrew: “Two mics, one cord?”

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Andrew and Luke: “If I secretly try to think of Sequim… (Stop it) we start getting the buzz.”

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Andrew and Luke: “She’s the Bono of the silver screen. Ah… That makes me not like her.”

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Luke: “And by hotel, I do mean motel. And by motel, I mean… front for some kind of crime syndicate.”

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Luke: “Clowns to your left, jokers on the right… one of those.”

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Luke: Cute Laugh

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Luke: “Dang it, Lisa!”

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Luke: “Dang it! Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”

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Luke: “Does anyone know who they are?”

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Luke: “I don’t know. Celebrity gossip just seems beneath even this show.”

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Luke: “I’m trying to think of, like, an Operation: Cluck-Cluck joke”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Oh my God!”

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Luke: “Oh, this shit’s gonna be real and working in, like, five years”

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Luke: “What, grandpa Luke? You used to drive cars?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Do you think anyone knows what we’re talking about on this show ever, Andrew? I don’t, I don’t know.”

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Luke and Andrew: Feedback ghost in the machine

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Luke and Andrew: Grandpa Luke and Grandma Angelina

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Luke and Andrew: “He has Resting Bono Face (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh my God. Are you kidding me, dude? Hmm.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Operation: It’s a Dry Heat. There we go. We got there.”

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Luke: “And, I was trying so hard to do a ‘Talk of the Town'”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “Cuz, I’m loving this Sheraton I’m in right now!”

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Luke: “Doubling your pleasure and, also, doubling your pain.”

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Luke: “Good thinking, Burbank!”

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Luke: “I’m a man!”

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Luke: “Legend of Snotty Wong”

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Luke: Luke banged his head on his microphone

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host!”

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Luke: “Oh, man”

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Luke: “Rooting for the Browns and the Seahawks is like playing two hands of Blackjack at the same time. You can win more money; but, you can also lose so much dignity, and so much happiness.”

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Luke: Singing “Day rate… cheaper than the night rate”

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Luke: Singing “I want to taunt you like Terrelle Pryor!”

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Luke: “Started out today in the City of Brotherly Love. Zipped over here to Hot Town USA. Average temperature, 100 degrees.”

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Luke: “We’d like to thank our Nissan level sponsors”

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Luke: “Well, that’s weird too”

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Luke and Andrew: “Power out! Power out!”

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Luke and Andrew: Role playing

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Luke and Andrew: “The Deuce. The Double Deuce!”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’d like to thank our (Oops) Alanis… What do you want? (Natalie Merchant) Call it. Well… What do you… What do you, what you like? What do you want?”

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Luke and Andrew: “WWBMD! Right. What would Bill Murray do?”

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Andrew: “Boy, Genevieve has been on fire lately”

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Andrew: “Broke-ass, like, producers”

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: Climbing up the public radio ladder

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Andrew: “Don’t mention the elephant in the room. Don’t mention the elephant in the room. Don’t mention the elephant in the room.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Atrociously”

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Andrew: Drawn out “The Browns”

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Andrew: “Dude, you gotta come down here. TBTL depends on it.”

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Andrew: “Earmuffs”

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Andrew: “Fireball”

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Andrew: “He’s just a… he’s a little turd out there.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke Burbank!”

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Andrew: “I always just look like an angry, fat man.”

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Andrew: “I don’t belong here!”

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Andrew: “I, I can’t tell to what degree you’re joking”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “Next thing you know, you’re never sad again.”

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Andrew: “Oh!”

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Andrew: “Oops”

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Andrew: Quietly saying “Yeah, it’s a conference”

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Andrew: “Shit”

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Andrew: Singing “I wanna sack you like an animal!”

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Andrew: Snorting

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Andrew: Stopped mid-thought

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Andrew: “That’s what I’m saying!”

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Andrew: “This is a TBTL field trip, that happens to be from the PRPD.”

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Andrew: “Uh-oh”

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Andrew: “Unclear”

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Andrew: “What are we doing peop–What are we doing here?”

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Andrew: “Why did I do this to such a sweet kid?”

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Andrew: “You don’t own Phoenix!!! I can be here when I want!”

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Andrew: “You’re gonna laugh your ass off at this”

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Andrew and Luke: “Congratulations… Uncle Luke! (Thank you)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Got my PRPD haircut today, Luke. Nice. All the kids are doing it.”

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Andrew and Luke: Luke did or did not talk Andrew into crashing PRPD

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Andrew and Luke: “Oooh, can I send you a link? Yeah, please.”

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Andrew: “That girl is Boynkin [sic]… Never trust a big butt and a smile”

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