Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2176

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Aaron Mason: “#BlameBing”

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Aaron Mason: “Ba-boom!”

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Aaron Mason: “Don’t listen to me, I’m an idiot.”

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Aaron Mason: “I’d say you look nervous and unsettled; but, honestly, how can you tell anymore?”

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Aaron Mason: “Mess with their minds, man! They’ll never know! Was it live or was it Memorex!!?”

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Aaron Mason: “Name you kid whatever you want.”

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Aaron Mason: “Neinen”

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Aaron Mason: “No!”

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Aaron Mason: “Once again, we’ll be back with the world’s worst bragger.”

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Aaron Mason: “The drugs are in the water, man!”

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Aaron Mason: “They’re not liking it!”

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Aaron Mason: “What!?!”

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Aaron Mason: “You know what? The door’s that way. I’ll, I’ll take it from here.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “#BlameBing. Blame Bing.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “Total power move, all about intimidation. Wow.”

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Aaron Mason and Andrew: “We’ll be back with the world’s worst bragger. Jesus Christ.”

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Andrew: “A pastiche of homages”

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Andrew: “Ahh! Screw it!”

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Andrew: “Alright, I’ll eat the worm.”

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Andrew: “And the listeners are so sick of me talking about it.”

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Andrew: “Auntie Jessica’s Case Files”

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Andrew: “Awwww!”

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Andrew: “Bad men!”

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Andrew: “By the way, do I say ‘Jesus Christ’ a lot?”

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Andrew: “Day two of Luke Burbank’s vacation, leaving me in charge.”

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Andrew: “He’s also the reason why I’m a KIRO today. And, frankly, I’m a little intimidated by him.”

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Andrew: “I’m basically a fiscal liberal, social conservative.”

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Andrew: “I’m not gonna lie. I feel out of my element here a little bit.”

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Andrew: “It’s one of the most universally rec–I’ve already messed it up. Let me start over.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “You are the worst!”

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Andrew: “Or, I’m getting Binged again.”

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Andrew: “She Writes, Murder!!!”

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Andrew: “Stay right where you are, nobody’s going anywhere. You’re gonna listen to this Tuesday installment of TBTL; and, you’re gonna like it.”

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Andrew: “That is not good broadcasting; and, that’s me talking!”

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Andrew: “That’s my catchphrase!”

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Andrew: “These teeth are clean!”

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Andrew: “They’re very back-slappy about it.”

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Andrew: “Uh, eff this!”

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Andrew: “Wow.”

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Andrew: “You can’t tell me to floss, you’re not my dad! And, I never asked to be born!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron insulted then apologized to Aidan

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Aaron rattles off the Konami Code

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew is pressuring Aaron to drink the milk left outside the studio

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew wants Aaron to count his fillings on air

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Andrew’s computer died and Aaron was to blame

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Mason gets to plug something. Aww, sweet!”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “No mountain too tall. And, good luck to all. (Nice)”

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: Portland, West Carolina, The Bay City

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Andrew and Aaron Mason: “Tell them Andrew sent ya! (Oh my God)”

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TBTL Episode Calculator and Andrew: “This is episode number 2176 in a collector’s series. Nice. Thanks, Calculator! No problem, Andrew. Good luck today. Awwww! Thanks.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2175

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When Andrew was introducing Steve “Stu-bot” Neuman to the show, Andrew mentioned the domain, heggielover.biz, as one of the sites that Stu-bot was managing behind-the-scenes. Well, the domain, heggielover.biz, was available and I snatched it up. The domain is set to redirect visitors to Marsupial Gurgle.

Andrew: “You know him as the man behind infiniteguest.org, and the lesser known, but equally respected, heggielover.biz. He’s none other than Stu, the Stu-bot, Neuman.”

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Andrew: “Clearly, like, everything locked up on this side of things.”

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Andrew: “Don’t, just get in the helicopter! Like, why do you have to be having your legs hang over?”

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Andrew: “Hey, Stu-bot!”

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Andrew: “How come there are all these stories in the world about free hot dogs; yet, they are never happening to me?”

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Andrew: “I would rather have him do the whole show eating bags of his sausages; but, just stay clothed. And, don’t force me to, don’t force me to answer questions like that.”

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Andrew: “I’m not, I’m not much of a foodie.”

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Andrew: “It’s a scandal. We have an honest-to-God Song of the Summer scandal on our hands here folks; and, it ain’t pretty.”

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Andrew: “Like, I think I might be losing my marbles.”

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Andrew: “Look! It’s actually a PetSmart bag!”

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Andrew: “Luke Burbank is on day one of his vacation. Where is he? What is he doing? Honestly, I don’t know. You can ask him when he gets back.”

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Andrew: “Maybe, just cuz I’m a scaredy-cat and I’m becoming more and more of a scaredy-cat.”

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Andrew: “My sense of, umm, I don’t know, anal-retentiveness”

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Andrew: “Oh, man!”

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Andrew: “Rando sexy bots”

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Andrew: “Really!!? That’s a brush with fame!”

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Andrew: “Turns out, the cashier, not that interested in that fact.”

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Andrew: “Yes, this is exciting!”

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Andrew: “Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy?”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Dazzling Date

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Oh, yeah. I gotta ask you a question: are you @HighSchoolBud? No, I’m not. Okay.”

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Steve Neuman: “1-1-2-1-1-2-1-2-1”

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Steve Neuman: Doot-dooing to 5 Seconds of Summer’s “Hey Everybody!”

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Steve Neuman: “My woif!”

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Steve Neuman: “Snoopy Dogg Dogg”

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Steve Neuman: “So, the last two songs that you’ve absolutely fallen in love with on TBTL have had homophobic slurs and racial slurs in them, Andrew.”

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Steve Neuman: “That was your first mistake, Andrew.”

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Steve Neuman: “That’s crazy! I mean, in a good way. That’s, that’s cool.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “I understand. You–do you understand? No, but that’s okay. I mean, honestly, do you–not, not what I just said; which, was cruel and mean and not really that funny”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2174

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Andrew: “He and I… We should just start a sexy man puttering business!”

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Andrew: “I need a, we need a boss in here so bad. Jonathan!!!”

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Andrew: “Jonathan!!!”

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Andrew: Saying “One I pop, I can’t stop” and laughing

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Andrew: “The Savory Sixteen”

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Andrew: “You kidz, the vidz!”

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Andrew: “You call that a pushup?”

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Andrew and Luke: “Do I have any wiggle room, do I have any wiggle room here? No.”

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Andrew and Luke: “Hello, Luke. I just thought of something, like this moment. Alright.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I always want my last bite (Right) to be sausage.”

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Andrew and Luke: “It’s package grabbing time! It’s package hearing time! What would that sound like?”

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Andrew and Luke: Singing “I’m going hungry. I’n going hungry. Yeah!” and saying “God, we are so good!”

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Andrew and Luke: “What are you wearing, Luke? A sunburn and a smile. Oh, f… I need a, we need a boss in here so bad. Jonathan!!!”

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Luke: “Because, you know, our bodies are a, are a wonderland; to also quote Creed. Umm, uh, and… I just wanted to see if I could get the listeners riled up there.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Dude, this is the Outback Steakhouse of podcasting. The world’s just right.”

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Luke: “I don’t want to be, um, I don’t want to be… turding up the punch bowl.”

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Luke: “I saw it in a theater. I used to be a much better person.”

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Luke: “I wanted to see, some, some, some bait and tackle by the end of that night!”

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Luke: Lightly Chuckling

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Luke: Luke didn’t get to see the promised bait and tackle

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Luke: “My name is Luke Burbank, your host, coming to you today from the Mandarin Oriental. Am I allowed to say that? Is that the proper nomenclature? I don’t know, it’s on the building.”

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Luke: “Temple of the Derp”

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Luke: “The Czar of the Telestrator!”

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Luke: “The Zara of the Telestrator!”

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Luke: “Welcome to Vegas, everybody!”

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Luke and Andrew: “A sunburn and a smile (Oh, f…)”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew is asked what Luke is currently wearing

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Luke and Andrew: “Dear Dad, have you heard this hot track”

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Luke and Andrew: “I call it Lost Wages, Andrew. Because, because of the gambling?!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s either in the bathroom or in the aisle, man! Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Good stuff.”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s package grabbing time! (Ooh!)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke has old man chest

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Luke and Andrew: Schindler’s Sausage

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “I don’t mind stealing bread from the mouth of decadence. I’m feeling hungry!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2173

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Andrew: Drawn out “Luke”

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Andrew: “Hmm. Running long? Question mark?”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna miss the shit out of him.”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “Right”

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Andrew: “Now I’m back, baby!”

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Andrew: “Oh my gosh! How old are you in that thing?”

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Andrew: “This is never gonna happen, this is never gonna happen. I let myself believe. Why did I let myself believe?”

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Andrew: “Wait, are you disrespecting my duplication investigation conversation?”

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Andrew: “Where’s my turd open?”

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Andrew: “Who, who shouted us out, what did they say, and did they sound angry.”

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Andrew: “You think that it’s tough to talk to you while you’re eating sausage; which, it is.”

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Andrew and Luke: HRCon and HurCon

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Luke: “And exactly what TBTL needs.”

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Luke: “And, it is like low-carb Christmas.”

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Luke: Asking Steve Nelson to approve two requests before it’s too late

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Chuckling #2

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Luke: “Double Duking”

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Luke: “Get out of my face!”

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Luke: “Hey, we should collaborate! Please hire me”

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Luke: “Hey, we should collaborate! Please hire me… and my friend in LA.”

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Luke: “I just want to suck up to the right person”

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Luke: “In typically TBTL fashion, let me ask you some self-serving questions…”

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Luke: “Is that wool? No. Fart blanket.”

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Luke: “Let me snoozle you with a sneetail real quick, Tens of listeners.”

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Luke: “Man, I love those, those Dukes. I love those Double Dukes.”

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Luke: “Mission accomplished”

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Luke: “My woif”

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Luke: “People say a lot of stuff; and, usually, they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

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Luke: “(Perro) Pod-dog has had a major upgrade, you guys, I gotta tell you guys. Pod-dog has now become Pool-dog.”

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Luke: Singing “Shorty”

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Luke: “Those are the kinds of things that keep me up at night, sadly; because, I don’t want to be delivering you a hot, piping bowl of word salad, like I just did there.”

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Luke: “Vaya con Dios”

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Luke and Andrew: Deuzzle and Snoozle

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Luke and Andrew: Ghost in the ipDTL Machine

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Luke and Andrew: “I picked a bad day to stop sniffing turd sound effects. Okay, (Didn’t really) let’s, let’s move on.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke imitating the choppy, ipDTL word salad

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Luke and Andrew: Noptimistic and Cautiously Noptimistic

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Luke and Andrew: “So, she’s only fourteen hearbeats away from being a Garrison Keillor. So, I think… that’s pretty good. Put that in your pipe and think about it.”

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Luke and Andrew: “That sounds like the inside of your head when you have aphasia. Right.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What’s the opposite of dazzling the listeners with the… I don’t know, but we’ve been doing it.”

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Luke and Steve Nelson: “Alright, enjoy baby daddy camp. Okay.”

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Luke, Steve Nelson and Andrew: “Like, are we pretty much screwed at this point, boss, with you gone? No, because the complaints still come here. So… So, we’re still on the radar? Yeah, (That’s good… that’s good) yeah. I, I think you guys are set.”

 

Steve Nelson: “Luke blew me off. I’m not gonna lie.”

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Steve Nelson and Andrew: Baby Daddy Camp

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2172

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Andrew: “About a boo-boo that I made”

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Andrew: “El, El Nelson”

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Andrew: “Hand on the podcast, you, you have no more information on this than you’re not sharing”

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Andrew: “I don’t know… how the fuck did I piss you off?”

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Andrew: “I got big plans for ya!”

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Andrew: “I hate you Frizzell!”

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Andrew: “I hate you Frizzell! I never asked to be born!”

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Andrew: “I never asked to be born!”

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Andrew: “I’m nervous, I’m nervous, I’m nervous!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “No, no, no. Are you kidding me? Laughing at your own tweets, that’s classic Burbank.”

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Andrew: “Oh-ho-ho! Zing. There it is.”

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Andrew: “Oh, shit!”

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Andrew: “People ask me why I wear the bowtie.”

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Andrew: Saying “Jon Blakely” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Saying “The” and starts laughing

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Andrew: “Somebody did something to me on Twitter yesterday.”

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Andrew: “What the hell is the appeal of this?”

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Andrew: “You give me nine seconds, I’ll give you the world… Luke.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I hate you, Frizzell! I never asked to be born!” in context

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Andrew and Luke: “Did you have your, um, THRIVE meeting with him yesterday, by any chance? Are you shitting me?”

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Luke: “A small part of the crowd was so friggin’ jacked up on Bernie juice.”

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Luke: “A supreme mensch”

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Luke: “And, uh, the coffa… The coffa?”

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Luke: “Andrew, you’re being ridiculous.”

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Luke: “Are you shitting me?”

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Luke: “Aww, shit.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: “Houston, we have a boner.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “She couldn’t fit Emerson Fittipaldi in”

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Luke: Singing “I just want to be your Teddy Graham”

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Luke: “So. Much. Pressure!”

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Luke: “So… Yay!”

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Luke: “Welcome to the TBTL Morning Zoo from the Hotel Lucia in Portland, Oregon, the Bay City.”

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Luke: “Welcome to the TBTL Morning Zoo!”

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Luke: “Welcome to the TBTL Morning Zoo! Coming at’cha from the Hotel Lucia!”

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Luke: “Who’s, who’s down at the sticker stop right now? Who’s manning the sticker stop!!?”

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Luke: “WWDRD”

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Luke and Andrew: “I remember when my dad was porking my teacher. It was a different time, the 80s. I’m sorry, Asia.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke singing “It’s a potluck affair. It’s a potluck affair.” while Andrew is talking

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2171

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Andrew: “And then I became a man.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “Whoa”

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Andrew: “Hate it.”

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Andrew: “Man, ‘Baby, baby'”

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Andrew: “Now, I just sound like I’m just being a jerk to my dad.”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah.”

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Andrew: Singing “Today is the greatest… day”

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Andrew: “Target! Target! Hey, um.”

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Andrew: “Well, gee!”

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Andrew: “YouTube clickholes”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew explains his hate for the name “Massage Envy”

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Andrew and Luke: Grove, Groof and Grofe

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Luke: “By the way, I, I receive no compensation from Avis; but, I wouldn’t turn it down!”

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Luke: “Ehh, fuck it.”

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Luke: “For the one perc–the one percent. It sticks in my throat, Andrew, because it’s such a travesty what they’ve done to Bernie Sanders!”

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Luke: Forgot to pack underwear and socks, buying turkey deli meat and No Fly List

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Luke: “I don’t want to tell you what to talk about on your show; but, you need to talk about this on your show.”

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Luke: “I really consider him the Shaggy 2 Dope to my Violent J”

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Luke: “I think bell bottoms are stupid looking. Did I wear bell bottoms? Yes.”

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Luke: “I totally, I totally get the appeal of this whip.”

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Luke: Laughing

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Luke: “Old man doesn’t need to yell at cloud, not today; but…”

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Luke: “Ooh, bop bop”

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Luke: “Peddler’s Village Episode IV: A New Hope”

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Luke: “The Hodor of podcasting”

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Luke: “The only good rental car counter is a dead rental car counter.”

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Luke: “There’s a Sport Clip next to the Which Wich. You’ve got Sport Clips in my Which Wich!”

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Luke: “They water the ground somewhere and a Qdoba pops up.”

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Luke: “This is New-Merica out here.”

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Luke: “Truly was a Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL.”

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Luke: “Whoop, whoop”

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Luke: “You coulda shit your pants and it woulda never come out the bottom of the pant leg; and, maybe, and maybe that’s how it started.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I like the idea of Omar from ‘The Wire’ listening to ‘Baby, Baby’. ‘Oh, indeed! I’m taken with the notion'”

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Luke and Andrew: “I understand why a (Yes!) young Walsh was digging that van life.”

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Luke and Andrew: “My red blood runs true blue, cuz every heart beat (Yes!) belongs to you. Yes! Let’s go out with that!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Okay, the SuperTarget is next to a Sports Authority, which is connected to the hand bone, which is connected to the thigh bone, which is (Ha-ha!) connected to the Petco.”

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Luke and Andrew: Putting the sugar on the shelf or hiding under light under a flannel

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Luke and Andrew: Reason and Riesling to Celebrate

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “A massage” at the same time

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Luke and Andrew: “We can, uh, unbutton our top button and just, kind of, let the show’s flab hang over. Just, really, just let it stretch out. Yeah, so, now I don’t wanna do it all anymore.”

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Luke and Andrew: “What do you call that, an acronym? Oh, g–I wouldn’t know.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what they did man, they paved paradise and put up a parking garage. Yes, that’s exactly what happened. Ooh, bop bop.”

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