Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3689

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Andrew: “Double-check before you just start yanking on it”

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Andrew: “Double-check before you just start yanking on it… which is my advice to all my 45 year olds”

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Andrew: “Hey, we drove your… poor man’s Yaris out here”

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Andrew: “I don’t know cars. I’m totally car-blind”

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Andrew: “I had no idea why I was lying”

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Andrew: “I just have the soul of a Yaris”

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Andrew: “I love… a boxy car. I love a hatchback”

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Andrew: “I’m a 45 year old man. Like, I should be able to rent a car without, like… shaking”

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Andrew: “I’m good at schmoozing”

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Andrew: “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about cars”

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Andrew: “It’s not a Yaris… I would’ve taken a Yaris if I could’ve rented a Yaris”

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Andrew: Saying “Sir, I can see you outside the window” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That’s what I’m looking for usually; just to have the, the… the steely gaze of Blucifer… judging me from above!”

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Andrew: “Welp, I know what we’re talking about on Monday”

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Andrew and Luke: “If we get up to 185, Luke will strip down to his tighty-whities and run around (I can’t believe I did that)”

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Luke: “I’m debating between… going too hard on the sales pitch and not going hard enough”

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Luke: “Weak… unrefined powertrain; which, is also how I’ve been described at times”

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Luke: “Where’s the I? What happened to the I? What happened to the DuFresnes?”

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Luke: “You know, I don’t wanna sound like we’re yucking anyone’s yum”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh! I almost lost ya… (Sweetie) My… I’ll never leave you again! My precious!”

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Luke and Andrew: “This is a very important message to everyone watching this on my channel (Mmm-hmm)”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3688

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Andrew: “A whipper-sniffer? A… no… Ooh, the look Phyllis just gave me… I could say that on the radio!”

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Andrew: “Ahh! He writes like he talks!”

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Andrew: “Can I be ‘coo’ and you be ‘ool’?”

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Andrew: “Does this mean… No Caliphate 2: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?”

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Andrew: “I think I let an F bomb fly”

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Andrew: “I was gonna say, the goo on the inside matches the goo on the outside”

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Andrew: “I’m not doing a very good job of explaining what an editor does. What do you do?”

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Andrew: “It’s weird how nervous I got with that long pause you took… I was, like, what are you gearing up for?”

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Andrew: “These are not just some old, dirty pair of pants that have been in the bottom of my closet for a decade or two”

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Andrew: “We always do some on-air libbing, I think”

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Andrew: “What’s in the box!? What’s in the box!?”

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Andrew: “You kept on saying, like, ‘I need to send them their computer back’ and I said… ‘Or, hear me out… keep it!’ Like, they don’t care about the computer”

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Andrew: “You might not like this. I know… you don’t… maybe, like… me wearing things that you’re gonna put on your skin”

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Luke: “Before she was as TikTok in her mother’s eye”

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Luke: “Can’t lose a Peabody if you never win one!”

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Luke: “I always ask my 45 year olds, ‘Hey… does the goo match the outside?'”

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Luke: “I find that to be a little sus”

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Luke: Singing “It’s been a while”

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Luke: “Step into Long John’s, right now, for supreme codcasting, through the end of June”

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Luke: “These will help ya… glasses”

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Luke: “Why would we bring out our supreme cod–podcasting… or… our supreme codcasting”

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Luke: “Your stress will melt away, KLSY”

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Luke and Andrew: “A Phyllistration? It’s a Phyllistration!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Geez! P! We’d no–I had no idea… No, poo… Sorry”

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Luke and Andrew: “The deterioration of my mind is really… (Ooh!) something to behold these days”

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Luke and Phyllis Fletcher: “Your torso says business meeting, your (Yeah) pants says ‘I’m already relaxing’. Right!”

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Luke, Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “‘Hello, from Gus’s school parking, where I’m listening to you right now… Do you know a bitch is about to be 50?’ I thought ‘bologna’ was the B word! Yay!”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “They say crazy stuff, man!”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Thank you for having me. I hope to come back soon. I need those pants back. Hey, we’ll see about that”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Luke: “When your boss at NPR says you can’t talk about your armpits anymore, (Yep) make a show where you (Yep) can, damnit!

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3687

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Andrew: “Am I a Thumper?”

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Andrew: “Am I a Thumper, by the way?”

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Andrew: “Bothell… For a drunken night or a lifetime”

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Andrew: “How long can a hug last?”

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Andrew: “I didn’t have Mount Baldy coming up twice in today’s show”

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Andrew: “I don’t really know exactly what I’m talking about either”

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Andrew: “I kinda got down on all fours, and I crawled… kinda, behind Genevieve’s leg, and I told somebody else to push her”

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Andrew: “I’m very confused how all this shit works”

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Andrew: “I’ve been entering in all different kinds of passwords and usernames trying to hack into my own modem… or router! Whatever!”

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Andrew: “Maybe that’ll give it a little bit more reach around the house”

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Andrew: “No… I’m very dense!”

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Andrew: “Now, here’s a little hell that I’m in right now”

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Andrew: “Pitching bored apes on Fallon”

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Andrew: “We put the router in the basement. It puts the router in the basement”

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Andrew: “Windsurfing on Mount Baldy”

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Andrew: “You’re on thin eggs, buddy!”

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Andrew: “You’re walking on eggs, Mister!”

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Andrew and Luke: “The people around you may know you… (Yes) Be good… Be good”

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Luke: “A snowball of stress”

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Luke: “Am I eligible for this motherfucking system working, even at all?”

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Luke: “Feels like we’re on thin eggs right now”

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Luke: “h-t-t…p-p colon-backslash-backslash series of numbers”

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Luke: “I don’t want you to fucking reset my modem”

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Luke: “I’m terrible with this stuff”

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Luke: “I’ve spent somewhere north of a day and south of a lifetime in Bothell myself”

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Luke: “It’s a dream… so… everything’s insane”

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Luke: “Pitching bored apes on Fallon”

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Luke: Singing “Damn! I feel like a woman”

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Luke: “Something is funky this morning”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3686

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Andrew: “And, so, I’m used to cats being in my face”

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Andrew: “Barenaked Ladies have no clothes”

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Andrew: “Be careful! You don’t know what’s in there”

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Andrew: “Can I get another shot, please? Can I, please? Like, I want a booster!”

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Andrew: “Did you punch somebody until their pants came down?”

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Andrew: “Do something!!”

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Andrew: “Don’t AT-AT me, bro!”

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Andrew: “Get a load of this Kai”

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Andrew: “I know where your story’s going. You need to tap out that… plastic blocker thing”

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Andrew: “I was shaking like a dog shitting peach pits”

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Andrew: “I would never should on somebody… or shouldn’t on somebody”

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Andrew: “I, I stand by what I’m saying; but, it’s really boring”

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Andrew: “Is there a chance that I’m waking up next to a lizard?”

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Andrew: Singing along with the Night Court theme

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Andrew: “Tens… jamming with Tens”

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Andrew: “Think a lot of people wished I’d plug-ola my mouth right about now”

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Andrew and Luke: “Give you some ASMR here… That’s Barry’s coffee right there, Luke… Can you hear that okay? Well, great. Now, I have to pee”

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Andrew and Luke: “Good morning. I come to you today, Luke Burbank, bearing… 2 cautionary tales. Thought you were gonna say gifts. Nope… Well… that is my kind of gift”

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Bubbles: Meow

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Luke: “Calm down, New York Post”

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Luke: “I ask myself, ‘Am I Mike Tyson? Am I the Mike Tyson in this?'”

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Luke: “It was literally, a figurative phoning it in”

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Luke: “It’s not yellow; it’s orange!!”

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Luke: “It’s rough!”

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Luke: “My relationship with Instagram is like my relationship with marijuana: I want it to be more robust… But, I just never remember to do it”

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Luke: “Ooh! Someone sliding into my DMs? I’ve always wanted to have my DMs sliden into”

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Luke: Saying “Duluth. I’ve been all over the world; and, I finally found it in Duluth” as Telly Savalas

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Luke: Saying “I can’t drive… So, I’m going to walk all over you!” as Soda Popinski

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Luke: Singing “Let me see your grill”

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Luke: Singing along with the “Warming Up with Doc” from Punch Out

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Luke: Singing along with the Barney Miller theme

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Luke: “So, that guy was, like… ‘She’s rough!’ And, I said, ‘Can you make her not rough?'”

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Luke: “The catification of my apartment… is complete, my friends”

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Luke: “What the fuck!?”

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Luke and Andrew: “In the taint of Blucifer… TBTL-a-thon 13: The Taint of Blucifer. TBTL-a-thon 13: It Taint Seattle”

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Luke and Andrew: “They’ll be AT-AT-ing you, believe me… Don’t AT-AT me, bro!”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3685

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Andrew: “Aaaahh!!”

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Andrew: “And, my God! I didn’t know it could be so bad!”

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Andrew: “And, this is what I put on my Tindr profile… clammy”

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Andrew: “Big clammy energy”

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Andrew: Clearing his throat

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Andrew: “Did you say ‘pubic hair’!?”

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Andrew: “Feel like this is the closest you’ve come to getting us canceled; and, I’m not even exactly sure why. I just feel like you can’t say that”

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Andrew: “Gentlemen, to trivia!”

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Andrew: “Go in the other room, Genevieve”

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Andrew: “God bless you if you like that”

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Andrew: “Hold on. Maestro’s got some shopping to do”

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Andrew: “I mean, I was having fun a second ago; now, I’m not”

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Andrew: “I’m a boy toy”

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Andrew: “I’m childless in Seattle”

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Andrew: “It just… seemed… gross!”

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Andrew: “Lemme try this… while we’re angering the listeners with our cultural references”

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Andrew: Making a death rattle sound

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Andrew: “Never touched a stone”

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Andrew: “Rough stuff from me on this Tuesday”

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Andrew: “Shut up, Donny! You’re outta your element!”

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Andrew: “This is so stupid that I’m doing this”

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Andrew: “We just Sh…teyngarted another detail”

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Andrew: “What if, we made promises never to talk Star Wars again”

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Andrew and Luke: “No! (Don’t look at me) Don’t look at me!”

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Luke: “Big clammy energy”

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Luke: “Didn’t know you like to get dry, though”

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Luke: “Do you know what’s really going on with this Ukraine thing?”

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Luke: “I bring it across state lines”

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Luke: “I’ll say it… penis”

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Luke: “I’ve only… gotten weaker and flabbier”

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Luke: “If you can throw your phone, you can throw a rock!”

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Luke: “It is magic that lives in my pocket!”

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Luke: Saying “I can smell your thumb” as Smaug

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Luke: “TBTL… Unreleased… Colon… and Unlistenable”

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Luke: “What happens, Andrew… when you get… 2… old dudes in a room?”

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Luke and Andrew: “Cuz, there was also one that was on 2 legs, which… is half the legs, Andrew… from 4. I (It is) did the math in my head”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can smell your thumb… but, (Gross!) I can’t find it”

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “Lukie B! I got an offer for you! Promise to never talk about Star Wars again. If you donate at the Dazzling Donor level!” as Luke’s agent Mort

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #3684

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Andrew: “And, he had a big old butt!”

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Andrew: “And, he had a big old butt! And, I said to him, ‘Hey, you have a big old butt!’ And, he was cool with it”

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Andrew: “Dorothy Parker would not put up with this!!”

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Andrew: “Hey, you have a big old butt!”

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Andrew: “I don’t feel the need to, like, force more sports on myself; I’m miserable enough”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna do something really bold on this Monday morning, okay?”

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Andrew: “Jesus, Luke! What’s wrong with me!?”

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Andrew: “Let’s not get bogged down in the details. Lord knows I never do!”

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Andrew: “Namin’ names and shamin’ shames!”

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Andrew: “Ooh, it’s theatre of the mind!”

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Andrew: Saying “But, I made a reservation!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Saying “I don’t think you do!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “That was a… brand new, fresh wound right when I moved here, right!?”

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Andrew: “That was in Dad’s shoulder”

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Andrew: “This is why nobody lets you blurb their films!”

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Andrew: “You have to have cone-activity. [sic] Cone-activity”

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Andrew and Luke: “And, you don’t believe… (Wow) in a Todd!?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I should hang onto that severed finger. It could come in handy some day (Exactly!)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Wow! What a decision. What a look. (Cool guy!) What a look, Andrew! Whad’ya going for here?”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna yuck any yums”

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Luke: “I’m sorry. Our princess is in another castle”

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Luke: Singing “The only living boy in New York”

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Luke and Andrew: “The actor who plays Elvis, his name is Austin Butler… I’m gonna interview him later this week… in Los Angeles… But, he is… unbelievable… as Elvis Presley. Like, you just forget… (Wait, wait. He’s believable as Elvin Presley) Excuse me… He is… unbelievably believable. This is why nobody lets you blurb their films!”

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