Category: Audio Clips

Another TBTL Ten, Lauren, submitted a jingle for the TBTL Voicemail line. Unfortunately, the number for the voicemail line that Lauren sung wasn’t quite correct; because, the actual song/jingle was really great. Luke and Andrew asked Lauren to redo the song/jingle.

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Andrew: “A hundred dollars, you don’t owe me shit, right?”

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Andrew: “And, it takes him forever to do ’em too; because, he’s such a Grammar Jerry!”

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Andrew: “Be like me, kids!”

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Andrew: “Hah-ha!”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke!”

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Andrew: “Holy crap! Yeah!”

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Andrew: “I get my black coffee in a styrofoam cup, because I hate the environment but it was so good.”

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Andrew: “Luke, we share a dream.”

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Andrew: “My apologies airheads”

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Andrew: “That’s racist!”

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Andrew: “The lesson here is, don’t bring it up!”

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Andrew: “Yeah!”

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Andrew: “Yes!”

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Andrew: “You dig what I’m sayin’?”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m gonna throw out some numbers. We have 35 more minutes on the clock. Okay, good. This segment will take no longer than 32.”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Chancellor’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Because everyone will have gone home in St. Paul while we’re still trying to record this ding-dang thing.”

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Luke: Chuckling

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Luke: Explaining how TBTL #2061 is being recorded and distributed

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Luke: “Lotta high fives, a lot of good times.”

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Luke: “No way, dude!”

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Luke: “No way!”

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Luke: “What else could go right for our recording today?”

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Luke and Andrew: “He’s a real Jerry on the Spot. He’s such a Jer… Okay, ‘Jerry on the Spot’ is probably what we’re gonna call the show today.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Irrational numbers of non-probability. Okay, write that down: ‘Irrational numbers of non-probability'”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke is laughing while Andrew says “It didn’t really help me that much.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Rural jury or rur-jur. Rural-juror?”

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Luke and Andrew asked the Tens to record and send in jingles for the TBTL voicemail number to make it easier for everyone to remember and to have some fun. Listener Kelly recorded the following jingle:

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Andrew: “But a beautiful movie, visually and sonically.”

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Andrew: Drawn out “No!”

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Andrew: “I am the Browns of sports analogies.”

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Andrew: “I got jingles on the brain!”

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Andrew: “I, I’m giving ‘beef castle’ a whole new meaning, let’s just put it that way.”

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Andrew: “Magic 107.5”

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Andrew: “No, not like that!”

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Andrew: “Notice that I didn’t say the word ‘TV’; because, TV is a nickname and nicknames are for friends, and TV is no friend of mine.”

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Andrew: “Oh, God! Brag much?”

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Andrew: “WAWAWANJ!”

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Andrew: “You did it! What are you doin’? …We got through the whole show!”

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Andrew and Luke: “WAWAWANJ! Ooh!”

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Luke: “He lives!!!”

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Luke: “Howdy Doody”

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Luke: “I almost pulled a Walsh, Andrew.”

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Luke: “Oh, wait. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no.”

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Luke: “Ooh!”

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Luke: “You don’t know man, you weren’t there!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I almost pulled a Walsh, Andrew. Umm, that could mean a lot of things, all of them flattering.”

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Luke and Andrew: Not Like Cars For Kids Jingle

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Andrew: “And I’m trying to be a little bit more Burbanky about it; where, you’re trying to be a little bit more Walshy about it, it sounds like.”

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Andrew: “Before I forget, I almost forgot and I don’t wanna forget.”

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Andrew: “But, I didn’t know how to do this shit!”

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Andrew: “Google it!”

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Andrew: “Have I already bored you with this story on the show?”

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Andrew: “I don’t know if… you do.”

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Andrew: “I don’t know why, I’m acting weird.”

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Andrew: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

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Andrew: “I’m always a sidekick!”

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Andrew: Laughing and Sighing

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Andrew: “Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.”

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Andrew: “No, no, no!”

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Andrew: Speaking in a Deputy Dog-like manner

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Andrew: Whispering “Oh, so good!”

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Andrew: “You can call me ‘El Walsho’ if you would like.”

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Andrew: “You can just tell me if I’m crazy. I guess I just want you to tell me that I’m crazy.”

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Andrew: “You must just grind your teeth when you’re talking to me sometimes.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I don’t know if you know this, but the Monkees (not) actually monkeys.”

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Andrew and Luke: So You Want To Be A Millionaire and So I Married An Ax Millionaire

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Hollywood Hodor El… El… Something?’ Walsh”

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Luke: “I’ll read you the ding-dang ingredients!”

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Luke: “That person did not miss their chance to blow.”

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Luke: “Those are all words that I just said in that order.”

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Luke: “You meddling son of a bitch.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everett in the front, party in the back.”

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Andrew: “Andrew, it was awful. Everything went wrong. The audience hated us. The guests weren’t good. The stools sucked!”

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Andrew: “Aww, crap!”

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Andrew: “Don’t! Why’d you have to make this not fun!”

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Andrew: “I’m so high!”

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Andrew: “Luke saw his shadow, we get six more weeks of using, of using ‘spoiler alert’ online.”

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Andrew: “No!”

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Andrew: “Tell me… everything. Tell me everything, Luke.”

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Andrew: “There are twos of us. Twos!”

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Andrew: “Yes! Yes!!!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I guarantee you, you’ve seen too much of OIC ads. Oh, I see ’em. I see them all the time.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have a story to tell. Okay. Do you want to hear how crazy I am? This is how crazy I am.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You sound exasperated, I know you’ve had a rough morning. Tell me everything. I sound exasperated?!?”

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Luke: “And the wooing starts right here, right now on this Friday… What in the heck fire am I talking about? Thursday afternoon edition of TBTL.”

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Luke: “And then it’s like Ned Ryerson is just there going, ‘That’s the most romantastic thing!'”

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Hollywood’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Are we at the end of the show yet?”

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Luke: “M Yahu”

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Luke: Saying “Hey! If you could just be a lamb and slip that lotion in that ol’ basket… Bing!” as Ned Ryerson

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Luke: “Somebody’s got the munchies!”

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Luke: “There are dozens of us. Dozens!”

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Luke: “Well, here’s the question. You wanna go after the sacred cow.”

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Luke: “What in the heck fire am I talking about?”

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Luke: “Yas!”

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Luke: “Yeah!!!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I could kind of see it being, I could kine of see it being fun. Oh, ho, ho! This whole time, I thought it was kind!”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m so high dude! Oh, man! Look at my hand.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m too blessed to be stressed, okay? That is true!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Let’s toke a, let’s toke a bong, man! Let’s rip a toke. Let’s rip a reefer mah dude!”

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Luke and Andrew: Of stools and the other kind of stools

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, duh, Andrew! Come on. Bruh. Bruh! What, what’s up bruh? Bruh. Wha? Broheme!”

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Luke and Andrew: Singing “She’s So High” and having fun with weed-related phrases

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Luke and Andrew: “Ya-huuuuuu! I know!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You are considering not leaving 24 Hour Fitness, (Yes!) because when you inevitably come back (Yes!!!) you have to re-go through the up-sale procedure. Yes! And getting mad about it! And getting angry about it! That’s how my brain works.”

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Luke and Andrew: “You know what they say when you make assumptions, Andrew. Sometimes you’re right, and sometimes you’re not.”

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Luke and Matisyahu: Beatboxing on Live Wire

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Andrew: “Alright, Luke. Our first top story today comes from the world of Luke Burbank.”

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Andrew: “Aw, come on! I don’t believe ya!”

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Andrew: “But, I don’t think I got whatever you’re, you’re barking up here.”

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Andrew: “Chairs are for fools. Everybody loves stools.”

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Andrew: “Crossing over diagonally, diagonally, diagonally.”

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Andrew: “Flooding the zone with more boringness.”

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Andrew: “Hello, Luke. Do you have your thimble on?”

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Andrew: “I hugged the unhuggable tiger.”

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Andrew: “I like this bartender, very yes and!”

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Andrew: “If you lose the little doohickey on the end of the shoelace, it becomes very difficult to get the fat shoelace back through the, through the, you know, shoelace hole. What do you call it… shoe hole.”

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Andrew: Imitating Luke making the sewing machine sound

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Andrew: “Meow”

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Andrew: “So anyway, Luke. So, umm… this is why you called?”

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Andrew: “So, I thought you were sweating having to be on stage tonight with a shirt that is tucked in, but no jacket to hide your, to effectively hide your stomach thunder.”

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Andrew: “This is what happens when you’re on the phone and I’m on the mic.”

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Andrew: “This, actually, could be the most brilliant God damn idea I’ve ever heard.”

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Andrew: “Uh, hi! This is a wake-up call for a Mr. Burbank, a Mr. Lucky Burbank.”

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Andrew: “Well, up and at ’em cowboy.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I know there’s a right way (Yeah!) to do it and I know I’m not doing it.”

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Luke: “Ahoy-hoy!”

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Luke: “But you don’t understand. There might be an HGTV show about it!”

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Luke: “I’m gonna flood the zone with more boringness.”

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Luke: “Ladies! Any ladies in there?”

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Luke: Making a sewing machine sound

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Luke: “No, God!”

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Luke: “Please let me go back to my tomato bisque soup.”

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Luke: “Stop, you’re mad with power!”

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Luke: “This thing was not made for shit!”

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Luke: “When I got done with the story, she was like, ‘That’s why you called?'”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hold on, let me just bite this thread off. Oh, you are still sewing! That’s good to know.”

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Luke and Andrew: “I used to own a convent. I used to own a convent factory.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Shut your shoe hole! You, you shut your shoe hole!”

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Andrew: “Any way you splice it!”

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Andrew: “Dun dun dun dunnn”

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Andrew: “HTML website with a bunch of just janky shit all over it.”

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Andrew: “I feel that if you have to go on stage with a tucked-in shirt and no jacket to hide your thunder; like, I can completely understand.”

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Andrew: “I mean… Oh, I don’t know. You said a lot of things there; but, I mean…”

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Andrew: “I think you maintain a pretty chill-bro attitude.”

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Andrew: “Is he talking about… his Wiener Schnitzel?”

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Andrew: Laughing and saying “What?”

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Andrew: “Luke? Luke, you fool!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s right! They were called gag bags!!! Good on you!”

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Andrew: “Picture this. Go, go on this imagination journey with me.”

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Andrew: “Tell me that’s not your segue into thanking the supporters of the day… Or, is it!?!”

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Andrew: “You know what? I can’t dance around it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “A normal person would have taken off the jacket, did I? Of course, I didn’t! Because, the jacket was hiding my thunder; and, in this case, thunder means belly. Effectively! Effectively, it was hiding my belly thunder.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew has an itch on his back and Luke thinks sending an attachment might help

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Andrew and Luke: “I think there are a lot of people who are listening right now, or a lot of peop… I don’t think there are a lot of people listening right now. Yeah, let’s not get carried away. Sorry… Awww!”

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Andrew and Luke: Seasonal Basement Disorder

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, Luke. I read an article about this this morning, and if, and if I’m hearing you right, things are gonna get really complicated on TBTL. Nope, because we’re gonna, we’re gonna gloss over most of it.”

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Luke: “Accoutrement. Accoutrement!?!”

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Luke: “And I was just like, ‘Yeah! Shut up about this stuff Burbank!'”

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Luke: “Everything, you think, you know, is wrong.”

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Luke: Giggling

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Luke: “Hey! We should go on the universal calendar where Luke doesn’t know what the year is. That’d be good idea.”

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Luke: “Howdy doody”

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Luke: “I don’t know why I’m now being coy about saying public hair. I already, I already claimed to have a large member on this show. Like, now I’m getting cute about not talking about Tobias’s public region.”

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Luke: “I don’t know, like a more… just kind of, go with the flow, bro. That is the tempo.”

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Luke: “I will be approaching peak freak.”

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Luke: “I’ve also had, mmm, four cups of coffee today, Andrew. I am, I’m vibratory.”

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Luke: “Nope.”

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Luke: “She’s leaving me, isn’t she?”

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Luke: “Strap in listeners!”

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Luke: “Yeah, I was trying to describe my belly, and my penis; which is enormous and just keeping it contained is so difficult.”

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Luke: “You fools! You pheasants!”

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Luke and Andrew: Describing his sports coat requirements

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Luke and Andrew: “I mean, the thing of it is, Andrew, who cares, right? Like, (Cares about what?) it’s a radio show. I’m not even talking about this podcast.”

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Luke and Andrew: Who Let The Cat Out?

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