Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Again… with the Kai”

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Andrew: “Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!”

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Andrew: “Dropping the grumpy”

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Andrew: “Ew! What a disgusting person”

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Andrew: “It’s fucking Berkeley!”

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Andrew: “Luke, you know–Good morning… Do you know how–I’m excited”

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Andrew: “Mmm!”

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Andrew: “Oh my God! Hey, you’re really owning the libs!”

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Andrew: “Oh, God love ’em!”

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Andrew: Saying “Hey, kid. Don’t get in this business” in a gruff manner

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Andrew: Saying “Uhh! Hey, kid” in a gruff manner

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Andrew: Saying “Well, girl, thank you!!” in a funny manner

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Andrew: Singing “El Ropo”

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Andrew: “Sorry to bury the grumpy there”

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Andrew: “That guy… Pfft!”

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Andrew: “That’s hero shit, man!”

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Andrew: “That’s… probably wrong in a lot of ways”

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Andrew: “Uh, yeah. I got some… kids in the area I gotta pick up… I gotta go drop a dumpy”

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Andrew: “What!? And, I was, like… you algorithms, how did you find me?”

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Andrew: “Yeah! Yeah!”

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Andrew and Luke: “Guess… what was a clue… in today’s… New York Times crossword puzzle, my friend! Whoa!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I… am… the one… (I’m… the one…) who grumps! (grumps)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, girl, thank you!! And, then… (Yes) Do not. I don’t wanna hear that ever… I do not ever wanna hear that come back at me”

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Luke: “DJ Burbank! We da best!”

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Luke: “If you hate Twitter… bang out!”

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Luke: “If you hate Twitter… bang out… Luke Burbank!”

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Luke: Saying “Everybody Loves Raymond” as Brad Garrett

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Luke: Saying “I’m gonna get that… Jimmy’s John” as Brad Garrett

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Luke: “Yes, you did… He did an excellent job”

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Luke and Andrew: “Barbara, have you considered… leaving… TBTL in your will? Oh my God! We went right to estate planning. Holy shit!”

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Andrew: “And, I might have accidentally just downloaded ‘Vegas Vacation’. Let’s say, let’s pretend it was legally”

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Andrew: “And, you don’t believe in a bird”

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Andrew: “Everything is Fubo right now”

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Andrew: “Fuck the umps”

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Andrew: “Get the Fubo on your Ruku [sic]“

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Andrew: “How’s this coming up now?”

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Andrew: “I can’t do that, Luke”

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Andrew: “Like, I don’t like arguing”

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Andrew: “Like, I, I… I gotta get outta here”

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Andrew: “Luke, I’m always telling you… you’re always… borrowing trouble. You’re worrying… and you’re worrying. And, everything just has a way of working out”

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Andrew: “Lukles McPoopyPants”

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Andrew: “Objects in mirror… may be cooler than they appear”

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Andrew: “Polymer-related companies, of which… 94 were located in… the city itself!”

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Andrew: “See what you do? Ya see… we have a nice thing and ya muck it up”

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Andrew: Singing “Are you ready for a good time?”

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Andrew: Singing “Everybody razzle dazzle”

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Andrew: “So, lemme just shut up… Lemme shut up!!”

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Andrew: “Sorry for the swear; but, fuck the umps”

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Andrew: Struggling to say something

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Andrew: “That was just me”

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Andrew: “The answer, sadly, is not yes”

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Andrew: “This is the kind of stuff that drives me bananas!”

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Andrew: “Ugh! You gotta be shitting me!”

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Andrew: “Why can’t I find my ‘Are you ready for a good time?’ drop”

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Andrew: “Why did we not call yesterday’s show, ‘Too Beautiful to Blive’?”

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Andrew: “You need a little bit of sog!”

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Andrew: “You’ve had prisoners trapped in your sex dungeon for, like, at least 4 months now”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew is having a Burbank moment when he can’t log into HBO Max and Luke takes umbrage

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Andrew and Luke: “Professor Bananas! I got a mission for you… Bubbles!”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying a bunch of “Hey!”s

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Andrew and Luke: “You’ve got a yard… That yard… (Sorry) needs mowing”

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Luke: “Ah, he’s just yakking up a bone”

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Luke: “Baby bugger”

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Luke: “Baby… baby buggy”

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Luke: “I burned my mouth on this hot dog!”

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Luke: “I deserve every e-mail problem that I get, Andrew”

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Luke: “I’m, I’m not trying to yuck their yum”

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Luke: “Look at me! I got Larry in my dungeon!”

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Luke: “Look at me! I got Larry in my dungeon! That’s going on Marsupial Gurgle”

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Luke: Making handling and eating hot food sounds and saying “I burned my mouth on this hot dog!”

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Luke: Making handling hot food sounds

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Luke: “Oh!! Blive!”

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Luke: “Rubber baby buggy bumper. Rubber baby buggy bumper”

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Luke: “That… file goes into a tube, here in Portland, and then goes all the way to New York City”

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Luke and Andrew: “That is one of the truly weirdest things, that’s occurred in my lifetime, was Randy Johnson killing that bird. And, you don’t believe in a bird”

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Andrew: Clearing his throat

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Andrew: Drawn out “To blive”

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Andrew: “Goddamn dongle situation!”

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Andrew: “Hottie Lumberjack”

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Andrew: “How much did I choke on the air?”

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Andrew: “I clicked on Sergeant Sexy Pants”

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Andrew: “I guess I’m having a harder Monday than I thought”

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Andrew: “I just had a wrong pipe moment”

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Andrew: “I remember, Luke… I had to relax my brain”

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Andrew: “I would just be… shit on a log!”

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Andrew: “I’m not proud of my diction today”

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Andrew: “Lukles McDookles”

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Andrew: “Not today, Satan”

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Andrew: “Okay, I did it”

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Andrew: Saying “Do you know what that means?” and dinging his bell for each word

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Andrew: Saying “Where doers get more done!” over the Home Depot ad song

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Andrew: “Sergeant Sexy Pants”

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Andrew: “Squad”

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Andrew: “Staying blive in 95!”

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Andrew: “Stiff Suit”

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Andrew: “Stud Muffin Santa”

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Andrew: “There was something broken in my brain!”

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Andrew: “There’s something… close to erotic about this search”

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Andrew: “Usually, I just sit down and get it done in, like, kind of, a few minutes”

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Andrew: “What!?”

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Andrew: “Where doers get more done!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, I did it! I did 9/11!”

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Andrew: “You just swatted yourself, I think, there”

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Andrew and Luke: “Where doers get more done! Get the new Stihl… powerless… (Mmm-hmm) gas… (Sure) snipper-whipper (All of that)”

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Luke: Drawn out “To blive”

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Luke: Making a Wordle shake sound

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Luke: “Sexy, sexy stories”

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Luke: Singing “One tab makes you smaller”

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Luke: Singing “Tweet of the week”

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Luke and Andrew: “You alright? Honestly, no!”

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Andrew: “A-ha!”

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Andrew: “A.. N… D… R”

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Andrew: “And, I know about the band, Luke… because of you”

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Andrew: “Back in my day, you watched ‘Parker Lewis Can’t Lose’ and you enjoyed it”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I’m a nerd”

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Andrew: “Desperate out”

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Andrew: “Do I say ‘af-tor’ funny?”

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Andrew: “Gary… You do you. Live your life. I’m not judging… But, maybe, stop pooping in boxes”

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Andrew: “God love Ira Glass”

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Andrew: “Hey, you’re blowing out the mic, dude”

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Andrew: “I am very much looking forward to playing on my boop-boop”

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Andrew: “I don’t trust land”

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Andrew: “I have no recollection of this thing that you’re talking about now”

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Andrew: “I have no recollection of this thing that you’re talking about now. And, my instinct is to tell you that you’re just wrong”

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Andrew: “I love you, Linh. Please… respect my wishes”

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Andrew: “If you can hear me Genevieve, feel free to correct the record here”

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Andrew: “It was meandering, it didn’t have a power out, and it went on for 12 minutes”

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Andrew: “It’s such a delicious rumor to want to believe”

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Andrew: “My instinct is to tell you that you’re just wrong”

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Andrew: “Nobody cares about your boner, dude!”

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Andrew: “Now, I’m hungry for wings”

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Andrew: “Oh, goldfish”

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Andrew: “Okay, WebTV”

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Andrew: “Only so many things would fit there”

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Andrew: “The moment of reflection… is a great, great thing… But, it can be a moment”

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Andrew: “We’ve told you the story, the sort of… delectable bits. If, you can say that about something that is so tragic; which, I already regret”

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Andrew: “You and I do this weird thing”

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Andrew: “You’re being very sweet and you’re being very careful”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew saying “Nobody cares about your boner, dude!” and Luke wanted that isolated and Andrew absolutely never wants to hear it

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Luke: “A Gary is an angel… who poops in a box”

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Luke: “I don’t wanna yuck any yums”

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Luke: Singing “Af-tor these messages, we’ll be right back”

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Andrew: “Cuz, I feel like… nothing collapses quicker than a product or service that I do ads for… on TBTL”

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Andrew: “Happy Blursday… you son of a gun!”

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Andrew: “Hey, just… throw that in the microwave and nuke it a bit, bud!”

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Andrew: “I don’t play in the Danish space”

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Andrew: “I think it’s… Danish and Danishes”

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Andrew: “I will make up details that will bore your eyes outta your head and your ears… off your noggin”

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Andrew: “I’m out over my skis here”

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Andrew: “I’m out over my skis here. I don’t play in the Danish space”

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Andrew: “It’s not a Keurig!! Except, it’s made by Keurig”

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Andrew: “John ‘Slabjacking’ Curly”

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Andrew: Making handling hot food sounds

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Andrew: “Maybe, because I’m a… carpetbagger”

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Andrew: “Oh! I know how to do that! A Mack-la-more [sic] song!”

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Andrew: “Oh, come on, Dad! Really? Are you gonna be coming over here and telling me and my friends that we should nuke something in the microwave?”

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Andrew: “Save it for Friday, ya dingus!”

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Andrew: “This one is… still warm from my e-mail”

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Andrew: “Wow! Twitter, man. What a world”

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Andrew: “You’ll find some cringe in there”

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Andrew and Luke: Getting a Blursday shout out

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Andrew and Luke: “If you’re not Blursin’… you’re lursin’ (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke: “But, it got caught… in your… anti-boner folder”

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Luke: “Drop some acid and go hitchhiking”

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Luke: “Individual circle things”

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Luke: “Oh, shit! He did it again!”

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Luke: “The jammest… Jock Jam that you can jam”

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Luke: “Yes! I’m a pig! I want a cookie… Let me in your van”

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Luke and Andrew: “One of the only unique to Mariners things… (Mmm-hmm) that exists… other than futility”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s the tweet. Ugh!”

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Andrew: “Bingo bango boingo”

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Andrew: “Colon… Entering list mode”

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Andrew: “He’s so scared of the law”

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Andrew: “I can’t tell if that’s a crying emoji or a squirting emoji; so, we should just probably move on”

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Andrew: “I had to fill in head or butt”

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Andrew: “I was… boppin’ around the house”

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Andrew: “I wonder if I can… become an honorary… Generation Beta”

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Andrew: “I’m just gonna be really weird!”

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Andrew: “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry”

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Andrew: “I… never buy shit off of eBay”

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Andrew: “If you feel like you’re being victimized by owning land that you rent out, sell the land!”

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Andrew: “If you think of an onion… as having a little head and a little butt”

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Andrew: “It is demonstrably untrue!”

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Andrew: “It just seems so Internet-y”

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Andrew: “Oh, yeah!”

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Andrew: “Oh… Luke! I got a new… I got a new lawnmower, Luke. I got a new lawnmower! What didn’t I tell you that?”

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Andrew: Saying “Another Star Wars joke” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Sorry, Dad!”

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Andrew: “There are so many useless forests all over this globe! Just cut ’em down, make more paper! What the hell?”

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Andrew: “They weren’t maximizing their… social leverage, or whatever the shit!”

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Andrew: “Wait a second!”

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Andrew: “Wait! No, too fast! Slow down!”

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Andrew: “We did all the work anyway. When I say ‘we’… I mean Genevieve”

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Andrew: “Whatever the shit!”

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Andrew: “Yes! Milove”

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Andrew: “You know I love me some bullet points, right?”

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Andrew: “You know what, buddy? Our finances are none of your damn business!”

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Andrew: “Zoinks! It’s on the way!”

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Andrew and Luke: “I hate myself for laughing so much. I love that we found the one prank you think is funny”

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Andrew and Luke: “I made a terrible mistake last night; a terrible, terrible mistake that… (Oh, right) has cost me upwards of $5.50 and… I don’t know… how I’m gonna recover that. And, let’s just hope that Genevieve doesn’t hear… this episode”

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Luke: “Hey, Andrew… Do we have that thing? Can we do that thing? Do you have–have you heard about that thing?”

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Luke: “I wanna mention if you hang… an onion, by its butt, outside of your RV, you’re just… you’re gonna let people know… something”

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Luke: “Meowgli”

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Luke: “Meowgli” #2

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Luke: “Mowgli”

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Luke and Andrew: Getting mentioned for sending in a supercut of Luke trying to say “Mowgli”

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Luke and Andrew: “Maestro? Maestro!?”

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