Category: Audio Clips

Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2014

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Andrew played a portion from Episode 6 of “After These Messages” that included his father as a guest on the show that included topics about parents dealing with children in ads and a bit about Andrew’s eating habits way back when. Before Andrew and Phyllis got into the e-mail segment of the podcart, Andrew played a voicemail that Luke left on the voicemail box:

Luke, Andrew and Phyllis: Andrew and Phyllis listen to the voicemail message Luke left, asking Andrew to not play segments from After These Messages on TBTL

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Andrew: “Alright, Walsh, don’t get into the details yet.”

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Andrew: “And yes, he fucked with the wrong guy today.”

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Andrew: “Before we get to what we’re gonna get to”

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Andrew: “Do not turn that triangle into a circle, young man!”

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Andrew: “Hello my little Nerf-herders.”

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Andrew: “I don’t think the world is short on Gordon Lightfoot.”

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Andrew: “I need to hear what you say first and then I can, then I’ll just follow your lead.”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry, by the way, that you’re so uncomfortable co-hosting with me, Phyllis.”

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Andrew: “It has gravy on it!”

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Andrew: Luke’s two minute voicemail message either has content or was a butt dial

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Andrew: “None of the last half hour even happened. I’m not gonna even sweat it.”

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Andrew: “Not shopping!”

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Andrew: “One li’l, just tiny, little aside!”

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Andrew: “Phyllis, I should not do this”

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Andrew: “So, that was one heck of a remix.”

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Andrew: “That is public radio right there. That is so public radio!”

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Andrew: “We gotta give you a raise.”

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Andrew: “Why am I suddenly talking like nobody has heard this show before?”

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Andrew: “You are amazing!”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Okay, let’s keep an eye on the clock. Let’s do this (Okay). Let’s, let’s bring back the spirit of Jen Andrews of just keeping us on task, and getting done what we need to get done.”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “Pine nut! (KIRO!)”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “So wait, the triangle is kind of early onset stress hair; but, then when you get to the ball, it’s like full-blown? (Yeah.)”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: Stress Hair

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “That is public radio right there. That is so public radio! I know. And I had the gall to correct you?!?”

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Andrew and Phyllis Fletcher: “What I’m (Uh-oh) about to do, I should not do.”

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Phyllis Fletcher: Evil Giggle

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Phyllis Fletcher: “If he were going all over the sTens Page dookieing on everybody”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Is that dirty?”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Ix-nay on Uk-lay.”

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Phyllis Fletcher: “Yeah, we’re gonna, we’re gonna get jiggy with it.”

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Phyllis Fletcher and Andrew: “Okay, first of all, what are you doing between now and the party that you can’t go shopping? …not shopping! Why?!? I hate shopping so much. I know, that’s why you’re in this position.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2013

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Andrew: “Ahh, damn it! Like, I was just trying to, I was trying to be cool!”

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Andrew: “But, good Lord. I say so much stuff that doesn’t even have an ounce of truth”

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Andrew: “Do I have to beep that?”

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Andrew: “Don’t!”

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Andrew: “I am leaning on it, man. I am leaning on it so hard!”

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Andrew: “I gotta pull the nose up on this football train.”

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Andrew: “I need some help parsing that last line, ‘Fancy party attire is welcome.'”

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Andrew: “I’m always most comfortable if I can have my shirt untucked; because, when I tuck that thing in, that’s when I really look like, I don’t… like a, like a real sausage.”

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Andrew: “I’m not trying to be the turd in the punchbowl on this one”

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Andrew: “I’m sorry that I spoiled the last hour and a half of your life.”

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Andrew: “It is so janky that I love it so much!”

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Andrew: “It is the scariest thing I’ve seen. Well, certainly it is the scariest photo of any boss I’ve ever had.”

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Andrew: “Let me introduce you to your co-host for today. You know him as the Sultan of St. Cloud, the maven of Minnesota Public Radio, the Lorne Malvo to my Lester Nygaard. I’m talking about Mr. Stu, the Stu-Bot, Neuman.”

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Andrew: “Maybe it’s, uh, Too Beautiful To Luke today.”

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Andrew: “No, no, no, no, no, no!”

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Andrew: “Pfffff.”

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Andrew: “Pfffff. That is the most Andrew Walsh thing to order.”

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Andrew: “Smooth, Walsh, Smooth radio talent right there.”

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Andrew: Starship Warning Sound Remix of Andrew’s “Rrr-rrr” sound

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Andrew: “That’s basically where I am in my life right now.”

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Andrew: “What?!?”

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Andrew: “Yeah, but guys, it’s not that great, rrr-rrr.”

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Andrew: “Yesterdoodle”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Andrew was about to put up the Andrew Wall

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Discussion about whether Addams Family Values is better than the original

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Do I have to beep that? Sheißeflügen? I don’t even know what it means. I think it means ‘shit fuck’, but I don’t know for sure.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “Hey, Stu. What time is it? Uhh, touchdown time? Ugh…”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “I’m listening to the words I’m saying and I just sound like the funnest guy in the world. Well, you don’t want to put up that Andrew wall.”

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Making jet and ray gun sounds

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: Speaking in a Sean Penn overacting manner

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Andrew and Steve Neuman: “What is Buffalo chicken dip? I’m glad you asked Andrew…”

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Steve Neuman: “Boy, that sounded really funny when I said it.”

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Steve Neuman: “Facebook will remind you, don’t worry.”

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Steve Neuman: “God, this is gonna go on forever!”

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Steve Neuman: “It was the fucking worse, man.”

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Steve Neuman: “The hell’s that?”

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Steve Neuman: “When it’s winter and there’s like ice murder at your door eight months a year, you tend to, you tend to get a little tipsy.”

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Steve Neuman: “Yeah, I loved it.”

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Steve Neuman: “You pooped a football, Doug! You did!”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: Andrew has a very advanced palate

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “Okay, you can start Andrew. No, I’ll just wait. Just take your time, Stu. No, I got it, I’ve got them. No, Stu! I don’t mind waiting.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “The Luke Burbank Story. The Luke Burbank Story! One more Christmas, The Luke Burbank Story.”

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Steve Neuman and Andrew: “You’ll like look at your wrist and, like, ‘What time is it? What time is it? Touchdown time.’ And… Boy, that sounded really funny when I said it.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2012: Luke Burbank Edition

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Luke: “Andrew ‘Drosselmeyer’ Walsh”

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Luke: “Counter-what? Counter-who?”

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Luke: Cute Chuckle

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Luke: “Don’t do this, kids.”

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Luke: “Get rid of the ink blots, start showing me some shit blots from a raven, and you’ll learn, it’s a window into my soul.”

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Luke: “I shit you not.”

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Luke: “I’ll throw some of this other great content at you.”

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Luke: “I’m a schvitzer.”

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Luke: “I’m BYOB, I bring my own belly.”

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Luke: “If you play your cards right, I might give you a chocolate factory outfit.”

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Luke: “It was a regrettable, yet mutually sarcastic event.”

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Luke: “It’s Larry before Gary”

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Luke: “It’s Larry before Gary, and things will get hairy.”

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Luke: “Larry skies at night, sailor’s delights. I don’t know. Alright.”

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Luke: “Let me, let me lay this knowledge on you.”

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Luke: “Listen buddy! I staked out this as pod-town long ago.”

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Luke: “Not cool.”

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Luke: “Our supporters of the day, the Catherine T. MacAuthur Foundation. Wait, that’s really NPR.”

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Luke: “Please stop admonishing the listeners, Andrew.”

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Luke: “Turn on your Zantac!”

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Luke: “We are recording this on, let’s see, it’s December 15th, in the year of our Lord, Twenty Fifteen.”

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Luke: “We’ve got this special sauce called our navels, and we’re gonna gaze at them.”

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Luke: “What’s up, dude!”

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Luke and Andrew: “A raven just landed in front of me and dropped a steaming deuce! Oh, God!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Beautiful! Finally (Great.) getting our Christmas on.”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke’s childhood friend hasn’t changed one iota

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Luke and Andrew: Saying “Oh, hey Carey. Oh, hey Carey. Wanna to play football?” a la Tommy Wiseau in “The Room”

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Luke and Andrew: “She pays your salary! (That’s right!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “They do what they want to do, say what they want to say, live how they want to live, play how they want to play, Addams Family. (Ohh!) Too legit. (Yeah.) Too legit.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2012: Andrew Walsh Edition

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Andrew: “Dancers are like fancy poodles.”

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Andrew: “Don’t, don’t pull it out! Like, you have to stay in there the whole time.”

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Andrew: Explaining what to do when using a Chip and PIN credit card

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Andrew: “God made Sherry and Larry, not Barry…”

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Andrew: “Have you hugged a Gary today?”

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Andrew: “Hey, I live there.”

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Andrew: “Hug a Larry Day isn’t until the summer!”

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Andrew: “I like my rituals.”

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Andrew: “I’m dazzled, I’m dazzled!”

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Andrew: “I’m not violent!!!”

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Andrew: “I’m proud of you, though, for when she said, ‘You should get that checked out.’ I’m proud that you didn’t shout ‘You should get your’s checked out!'”

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Andrew: “I’m, I’m done. I’m out. Can we roll closing music?”

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Andrew: “It’s now this ripped open carcass of ugliness that you have to deal with.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: “My takeaway from is that you think the better part of being a bird is that you can shit anywhere; whereas, most people, the better part of being a bird is that you can fly.”

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Andrew: “No.”

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Andrew: “No, I wouldn’t prefer that. I like my rituals. I like knowing that there’s a modicum of privacy.”

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Andrew: “No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is what you do.”

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Andrew: “No! No! Wait. What? Are you joking?”

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Andrew: “Oh, God damn.”

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Andrew: “Ohh, I like it! Like, real NPR style!”

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Andrew: Sound effect of someone shoplifting

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Andrew: “This is what you do; and, if you can get this on tape, all the better.”

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Andrew: “What’cha doin’ here!?!”

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Andrew: “Yes! Why, why did this suddenly happen to our world? Everything was fine until, like, one day in 2002, I woke up and I couldn’t open anything anymore.”

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Andrew: “You still talking? Huh? Sorry, I’m Googling.”

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew made a sound effect of someone shoplifting and Luke thought it was a glitch in the phone connection

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Andrew and Luke: Andrew’s boisterous laughter and Luke saying “He waxes it just to the right point.”

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Andrew and Luke: Attempting to find ways to remember if it’s Gary or Larry

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Andrew and Luke: “Well, it’s easy to remember. It’s always, Spring Gary, Fall Larry. No, wait. Hold on. It’s, wait, no that’s not entirely right. It is, it’s Autumn Barrys… No, wait.”

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Andrew and Luke: “You know what? We use every part of the joke. Yes, we do. Including, the joke about using every part of the joke.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2011

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Andrew: “Alright, ghost boss.”

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Andrew: Boisterous Laughter

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Andrew: “Instead of a penguin, am I right? Because of a tuxedo.”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing and trying to say “I love you to death…I mean, it didn’t exactly have a power out.”

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Andrew: Singing “Yeah, yeah” a la Violent Femmes

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Andrew: “Surprises or reprimands”

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Andrew: “The roots are strong with this one.”

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Andrew: Trying to say “Ayn Randian”

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Andrew: “Will there be fire?!?”

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Andrew: “You want to practice, practice, practice and then forget it. Only, in this case, just forget it.”

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Andrew and Luke: “‘Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)’ is by a band called Looking Glass. That’s not even Neil Diamond?!? Am I? Oh, my God. I am such a tool.”

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Andrew and Luke: “I’m e-mailing him that Duracell commercial to his private account, just, just to spoil it for him. Ohh, Andy! Don’t do that.”

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Luke: “ATC, if you’re Above Time Card”

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Luke: “ATT: Above The Truth”

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Luke: Example of how not to pronounce the Vietnamese family name “Nguyen”

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Luke: “God, love it!”

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Luke: “God! Why am I busting myself so hard in front of the earballs of probably our boss and, certainly, many people that work at American Public Media.”

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Luke: “I am such a tool.”

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Luke: “I would like to think of myself as some kind of rebel without a timesheet.”

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Luke: “Oh my God.”

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Luke: “Oh, duh!”

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Luke: “Oh, God”

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Luke: “Ohh, Andy!”

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Luke: Saying “Good luck tonight” with a Russian accent

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Luke: Singing “Why can’t that song be by Neil Diamond?”

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Luke: Singing “Yeah, yeah” a la Violent Femmes

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Luke: “So, hey boss!”

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Luke: Star Wors

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Luke: “That’s not even Neil Diamond?!?”

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Luke: “These mice have to do, like, some legit dance moves.”

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Luke: “Too legit to quit”

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Luke: Trying to sing Looking Glass’s “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”

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Luke: “Turn down your heart! Turn off your singing!”

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Luke: “Turn on your heartlight!”

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Luke: “We can’t start until we get this Cuyahoga Clam on the show. His name is Andrew (Chewbacca Sound) Walsh.”

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Luke: “Who’s normally mousing it up out there”

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Luke: “You’re hopeless, bro.”

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Luke and Andrew: Andrew’s “Hmm”s get more excited as details get more violent

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Luke and Andrew: “Hey, by the way, I realized something the other day, Andrew. Saying ‘I don’t have a power out’ is our new power out. (Yeah!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m basically gonna Left Shark this situation tomorrow night, Andrew! Well, that sounds great!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Nerd Boss starring Steve Nelson! It’s a prequel to Ghost Boss.”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, take that (Yeah!) no one!”

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Luke and Andrew: “You could. Or one could, in this case, me could. Me could ruin Nutcracker, Andrew. Will there be fire!?!”

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Luke, Andrew and Steve Nelson: Luke channeled his inner Neil Diamond

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Steve Nelson: “Thanks for ruining everything, Luke.”

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Audio Clips

Clips From TBTL #2010

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At the beginning of the podcart, Andrew recorded a warning to the listeners regarding Santa Claus talk that #2010 contained and that it might not be something children would want to hear. Below is that warning:

Andrew: Pre-show warning about Santa Claus talk

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Andrew: Chuckling

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Andrew: “Cleveland, Luke!”

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Andrew: “I don’t wanna ruin anybody’s thing!”

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Andrew: “I dunno!”

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Andrew: “I even effed that up!!! Jesus, Christmas!”

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Andrew: “I’m taking it one game at a time, Burbank!”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Laughing #2

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Andrew: “Santa brought a nail gun”

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Andrew: “The beauty of being me.”

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Andrew: “We make mistakes… sometimes.”

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Andrew: “You seem so fragile, Luke. It’s rare that I see you so fragile.”

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Andrew and Luke: Saying “I think it’s Camarillo” almost in unison

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Luke: “And I’m not going to guess, Andrew. I’m not going to guess anymore on this show.”

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Luke: “Crimenetly, that was bad.”

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Luke: “Exactly what America wants is a guy named Luke Burbank, that’s me.”

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Luke: “Get it together!”

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Luke: “Hey, Rudy! Put down the blood-soaked bone.”

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Luke: “Hold on, I gotta let her out. Sorry. Yeah, it was me. I let the dog out.”

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Luke: “I dare somebody correct me on that!”

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Luke: “I guess”

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Luke: “I will be God-damned if some diabetic, bearded fantasy gets the credit for this Powerpuff Girl-related merchandise that I used my student loan money to pay for. I will be God damn [sic].”

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Luke: “I’m not one to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong”

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Luke: “It is such a bummer!”

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Luke: “It really out Roundball Rocks Roundball Rock, Andrew.”

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Luke: “O as in Olestra. Why would he use a thing that makes you have chip diarrhea, I don’t know.”

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Luke: “Santa’s not coming for you.”

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Luke: “So, that was a real… That was a real Texas three-step. Criminetly, that was bad.”

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Luke: “Tony C… made it out again.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Even at this point… Oh shit, the dog just found out there’s no Santa. Oh, this is… This is sad.”

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Luke and Andrew: “Everything seems normal here! (Oh, God!)”

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Luke and Andrew: “Holy… (What? What?) Holy coincidence, Walsh! (What?)”

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Luke and Andrew: “I don’t know. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. I dunno!”

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Luke and Andrew: “It’s growing, Andrew, like a fungus. Like a disease, spreading out from the core!”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke forgot that he needed to say “No mountain too tall”

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Luke and Andrew: “No mountain too tall and good luck to all!”

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Luke and Andrew: “So Andrew, I’m a good person. Yeah, no. You sound, you sound. Boy, it must be great working with you.”

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