Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “But, boy. When I walked away from that bar, I was tipsy”

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Andrew: “But… I’m also… Andrew”

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Andrew: “Hey, if, if you see anything weird, let me know”

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Andrew: “Oh, Luke Burbank… were I your mother… To Green Lake you would not go, to smoke a friend’s weed on Duck Island though… Your boats crash… not you would and give away your address, you should… not”

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Andrew: “Oh, great. Last row, next to a baby!”

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Andrew: Saying “You took my granddaughter!” as Liam Neeson

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Andrew: “The whole thing felt like a screw”

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Andrew and Luke: “I have been biting… the living… hell… (Tweedle?) out of my tongue”

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Luke: “99.999 percent of the women on planet Earth haven’t already decided that they are not interested in what Luke Burbank is selling”

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Luke: “And, I just like things that are briny”

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Luke: “Get a life!!”

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Luke: “I should have been… barbecuing… up veggie dogs on my tiny balcony and listening to… Mariners action. Instead, I was listening to Bon Iver and… crying into a veggie lasagna”

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Luke: “I wouldn’t wanna be part of any jury that would have me, Andrew”

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Luke: “It’s warm and dry… on the inside… of podcast number 3629… in a collector’s series (Let the fun begin)”

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Luke: “Ka-kunk!”

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Luke: “That is not a person… who I wanna spend any time around”

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Luke: “That’s some badassery”

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Luke and Andrew: “There’s just something special to me about this one (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke and Andrew: “To those who rant and rave… Get a life!! What? Whoa, whoa! You can’t do this! Go ahead”

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Andrew: “Hey. You wanna know something?”

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Andrew: “Hi… Hope it’s not too bad”

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Andrew: “I have a question; and, I wonder if you have an answer for it”

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Andrew: “I’m in the house!”

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Andrew: “Is this one of those things where you think somebody’s giving you a sundae? Cuz, I’m telling you: Don’t do it! Don’t fall for it again!”

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Andrew: “It was a… real-ass crime scene”

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Andrew: “Oh-oh-oh!”

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Andrew: Singing “My watch”

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Andrew: “That is a Luke Burbank move right there”

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Andrew: “This is… as we… as we say in the Cuyahoga Valley… heavy… heavy shit”

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Andrew: “Turn around!”

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Andrew: “You’re dumber than a bag of hammers”

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Andrew and Luke: “Andrew the Tank is gonna be squeezed into a pretty tight little corner tomorrow… (They’ll never catch you)”

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Luke: “I was mildly butthurt”

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Luke: “I’ve been associated with, sort of, petty crime”

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Luke: Making a printer whirring sound

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Luke: Saying “It’s our party. We can do what we want” in a deep voice

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Luke: Scatting

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Luke: Singing “We can’t stop… We won’t stop… We runs things. They don’t run we”

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Luke: “We run things. They don’t run we”

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Luke: “Yippee-kee-yay!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Hey!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just north of the Coyahoga [ph] Valley (Coyahooga [ph]) and to the west of the… of the Kiahooga [ph]“

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Luke and Andrew: “Some people have… have seen, heard and smelled me in an airport bathroom when I’m not at my best either… (Mmm-hmm. No. That’s certainly true)”

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Andrew: “I don’t think that song is racist; but, it seems racist”

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Andrew: “I’m like your little secret… ogre of a child that you won’t let out of the basement”

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Andrew: “It’s just certain things stick in my brain!”

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Andrew: “My muscle memory is to stumble around and forget words”

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Andrew: “My taxes are a nightmare!”

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Andrew: “My taxes were a mess, Luke Burbank!”

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Andrew: “Oh, that’s bullshit, man”

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Andrew: Singing “There’s a right way to rock!”

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Andrew: “There’s a right way to rock! I started too high… started too high, and it’s all too high”

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Andrew: “There’s also a butt [sic] you can click on the website”

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Andrew: “We had been Wendt-ing it up”

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Andrew: “You’re talking to a guy who gets so much shit wrong!”

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Luke: “I gotta tell ya: I have diarrhea… of the mouth”

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Luke: “Is this an art project!? Is this, is this Banksy!?”

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Luke: “Oh, well… Live and learn… Fuck it. Let it be”

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Luke: Singing “Cousins. Identical cousins”

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Luke: Singing “Oh, Susannah. Oh, don’t you cry for me. I’ll be coming ’round the mountain with the banjo on my knee”

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Luke: Singing “Where did you come from? Where did you go? Cotton Eye Joe”

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Luke: “You were right… under either scenario!”

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Luke and Andrew: “That is what we call muscle memory, my friends. That was muscle memory. I understand… My muscle memory is to stumble around and forget words”

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Luke and Andrew: “This could have been… (Mmm-hmm) a beautiful story of everybody being okay; and, (Mmm-hmm) instead, you chose violence… (Mmm-hmm) on this Thursday morning”

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Luke and Andrew: “We’ll do all that, coming up, in a moment… right here… on Live Wire… Gah!”

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Andrew: “Contents are as follows: 3-inch screwdriver… 5-inch screwdriver… scriber, reamer… Can we say that?”

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Andrew: “Do it to it. Love it up!”

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Andrew: “Don’t poop in my mouth and call it a sundae”

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Andrew: “Don’t poop in my mouth and call it a sundae. Like, we all saw what happened there”

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Andrew: “God made Ed; and, Ed bust your ass”

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Andrew: “Gordon Shumway!”

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Andrew: “I don’t care!”

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Andrew: “I fell for it again!”

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Andrew: “I know. There’s gonna be a lot of silence here”

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Andrew: “I’ll know it when I’m crying in the bathroom”

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Andrew: “I’m not proud of that”

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Andrew: “In fact, I like to yum people’s yucks”

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Andrew: “It’s fine! I also think they’re lying”

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Andrew: “None of this shit matters”

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Andrew: “Oh, no! Really!?”

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Andrew: “People don’t care anymore, man!”

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Andrew: Saying “Alf!” as Willie Tanner

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Andrew: Saying “Willie!” as Alf

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Andrew: Saying “Willie!” as Alf #2

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Andrew: Saying “Willie!” as Alf #3

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Andrew: Saying “Willie!” as Alf #4

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Andrew: Saying “Willie!?” as Alf

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Andrew: “This is totally cheating; but, hopefully, it will be somewhat entertaining”

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Andrew: “Uhh! That really cut me to the quick!’

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Andrew: “Well, of course. That’s not a pet! You idiot, Walsh!”

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Andrew: “Willie!” Supercut

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Andrew: “Yeah… But, like, I don’t care”

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Andrew: “You did something at some point”

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Andrew: “You idiot, Walsh!”

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Andrew: “You’re dumber than a bag of hammers, TBTL!”

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Andrew and Luke: Being in Cleveland has really, really made Andrew go full filthy

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Andrew and Luke: “Why (Why!) would this happen to an innocent person!?”

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Luke: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining”

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Luke: “Drew… 3000 dollars!”

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Luke: “I gave you a sundae!”

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Luke: “That’s a football-y ass answer!”

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Luke: “This is the guy, me… I’m that guy. I’m the guy I’m talking about”

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Luke: “Yucking people’s yums”

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Andrew: Barking Sound

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Andrew: “Again, I’m a long-legged freak, long femur freak”

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Andrew: “Have I ever, like, been… just like, straight up zonked out?”

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Andrew: “He is a monster!”

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Andrew: “I don’t think my keyboard is working, Andrew”

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Andrew: “‘Oh, aren’t you supposed to record in 10 minutes?’ So, I said, ‘No. That son-of-a-bitch never wakes up on time.’ No”

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Andrew: Singing “Who left their bag there?”

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Andrew: “Uhhh-I don’t know”

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Andrew: “What is basketball and how do you play it?”

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Andrew: “What’s her favorite number? What’s her favorite number!?”

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Andrew: “Whoever it is probably has their dang headphones in; and, they can’t even hear the announcement!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, computer. I did. Are we okay?”

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Andrew: “You know, in a certain way, I feel like you owe me an apology… really; for questioning me”

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Andrew and Luke: “I tell just fascinating, fascinating stories… about lost luggage and… long femurs (I’m fascinated)”

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Andrew and Luke: “Who left their bag there? Who? Who? Who…? (Who? Who? Who?)”

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Luke: “Actually, I didn’t… pay attention to the raves. I only pay attention to the rants”

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Luke: “Also, we’ve got some rants… (Fanfare Drop) and some raves (Wrong Buzzer Drop)”

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Luke: “Andrew, have you met me?”

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Luke: “Go-Go Gadget shoes”

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Luke: “Ha!!!”

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Luke: “Outta here with that shit!”

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Luke: “Pooping and nipple bleeding”

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Luke and Andrew: “I can see your halo… Andrew. Whoa!”

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Luke and Andrew: “South of Truman Capote… north of… Burt Reynolds (Slingblade)”

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Andrew: “Every producer there had some ‘QS’ with their name after it”

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Andrew: “Here are the 4 results on ‘shame'”

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Andrew: “I’m so proud that I have my ‘QS Walsh’ here”

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Andrew: “It’s searching for ‘mortal’ now”

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Andrew: “Somehow, we were leaving shame out of the equation”

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Andrew: “Talk to the nerds about that”

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Andrew: “Well, thank you on behalf of the people of Seattle. Screw you… on… behalf of the people of Cleveland”

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Andrew: “When I pre-produce these things, usually, I harp it back and, then, I harp it back forward”

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Andrew: “Yeah. You see what happens when I put together the show sheets?”

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Andrew and Luke: “In, in, in the inseam, you need to, you gotta give ’em some more room in the inseam. Cuz… cut me like I’m riding a wire. From… from my bunghole to where…”

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Luke: “For one thing, I never lower my gaze to any animatronic rats… All my mistakes are between me and the ball pit”

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Luke: “Get a load of this chump”

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Luke: “Here’s what I’m really smelling, dawg”

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Luke: Making flashback harp sounds

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Luke: Saying “You… are handsome” as a computer

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