Category: Audio Clips

Andrew: “Downtown is better than ever!”

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Andrew: “Italian satellite. Bunga-bunga!”

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Andrew: “Okay, Gorgle. Where’s on first?”

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Andrew: “So good it, it William Hurts”

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Andrew: “That’s not how they do it anymore”

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Andrew: “This is such bad podcasting”

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Andrew: “Well, our boat captain’s name was… Dangerous Stumpy; and, he only had one arm and one leg”

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Andrew: “Well, why was there a boat there?”

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Andrew: “What!!?”

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Andrew: “Where’s on first”

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Andrew: “Where’s on Hurt?”

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Andrew and Luke: “But… wasn’t there a cruise ship where everybody was like… puking and shitting their brains out? And, they couldn’t–but, they were out at sea (Why do you always take it to number 2 talk on this show, Andrew?)”

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Andrew and Luke: “I actually don’t give gifts or cards for anybody except Genevieve… Yeah, I’ve noticed”

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Andrew and Luke: “Okay, Gorgle. Where’s on first? Hey, Gorgle. Where’s on first?”

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Luke: “It is what it is”

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Luke: “NASA giveth and NASA aborteth [sic]“

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Luke: “Oh! Ah! Ee! Er!”

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Luke and Andrew: “Just to be bathing in the… in the perfect…ly warm water of engineered… (Mmm-hmm) bougie Seattle”

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Luke and Andrew: “Were you scared? Yeah! It was an alligator!”

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Andrew: “I bought a Zoom”

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Andrew: “I will say–and, this is such a weird… such a weird… just micro-example”

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Andrew: “It’s not doing anything for me, I don’t think”

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Andrew: “Man, you turned quickly on that!”

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Andrew: “Slop ’em up!”

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Andrew: “This is American Public Media”

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Andrew: “Vitamin Petroleum! Vitamin P!”

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Andrew: “We just don’t know what the hell we’re doing”

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Andrew: “Yeah, it’s funny… No. It’s not funny; but, it’ll… take up a minute or two”

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Andrew: “Yeah, there’s something about this neighborhood, man”

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Andrew: “You have a name like ‘Unilever’, you better own everything”

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Andrew: “You know, he’d… hit me upside the head every now and then”

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Luke: “I love… sucking on a chili dog outside a Tastee-Freez”

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Luke: “I swear to you, something inside me died”

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Luke: “Let’s… take a quick break. Cuz, we gotta get to these Top Stories… and… and, they’re not gonna… they’re not gonna get to themselves”

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Luke: “Revive yourself with VO5”

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Luke: Singing “This is our fight song”

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Luke: “The last time I was in LA… I drove past… what was the Tattle Tale. And, the door was wide open. You could see right inside; and… I swear to you, something inside me died”

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Luke: “There’s something about the inside of a Canters”

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Luke: “This is an example of punching up… punching way up”

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Luke and Andrew: “I’m going to… get married again! (Nice)”

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Luke and Andrew: Luke catrolling Andrew

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Andrew: “A kid did a kid thing”

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Andrew: “A kid did a kid thing. It’s cute. Get tape of the kid. Goodbye!”

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Andrew: “And, you know me. I’m always… sniffing out awkwardness out of every moment”

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Andrew: “Can I give a little bit of background on this? A little B.G. on he?”

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Andrew: Giving his 2 cents on the drawn out TV news story about a kid dropping off a book at a library

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Andrew: “Hey! What day is it? Nobody knows. Time has no meaning. Guess it’s Blursday!”

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Andrew: “Hey, Luke. Has the NFL ended racism yet?”

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Andrew: “I hate all the adults involved in this”

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Andrew: “I might be the weirdest guy in the world”

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Andrew: “I wanna… steer the conversation, gently, into bathroom talk”

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Andrew: “I’ll cut it all out”

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Andrew: “I’m not crippled with self-hatred right now”

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Andrew: “I’m not sure what kids do these days”

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Andrew: “Like, cut all of that out! Let’s just get to it!”

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Andrew: “Oh, wait, wait, wait! Wait”

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Andrew: “Really!?”

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Andrew: “Really weird! It’s like, really weird!”

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Andrew: Saying “I drew something. It was cute. I snuck it in the library” as a kid

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Andrew: Singing “When the rain comes”

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Andrew: “This isn’t just really long tape. This is just really long, badly written bullshit!”

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Andrew: “Well, white power vibes, huh?”

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Andrew: “Whoa! Luke! Sit down! This library has books for adults and children!”

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Andrew: “Yeah, no. See? I’m already regretting this”

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Andrew: “You are a triple threat!”

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Luke: “A group of… like-buttholed people?”

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Luke: “I’m fucked. I can’t move”

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Luke: Singing “Bing-bing-bing-bing-bing”

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Luke: Singing “Let me take you down, cuz I’m going”

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Luke: “Snatching awkwardness from the jaws of comfort?”

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Luke: “There’s always new… contradictory worlds for me to travel to on this show”

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Luke: “We’ll make the call… We ask the questions around here… I think, as a show”

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Luke: “What I’m describing is a disordered relationship with food and bowel movements”

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Luke and Andrew: “Oh, I can’t believe I’m gonna say what I’m about to say (Oh, no)”

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Luke and Andrew: “That’s a real triple threat. You are a triple threat!”

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Andrew: Beeping over parts of the butthole flaps drop

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Andrew: “Boom. You’re done”

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Andrew: “Have I been saying… ‘grip’… a lot lately? As in… Gonna go down to the butcher shop and get myself a grip of Landjägers”

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Andrew: “I hope I’m not confusing my Betts here. I’m making a bet that this is Bett”

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Andrew: “I really hijacked the show with this dishwasher stuff”

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Andrew: “I’m the gorier side of satisfying”

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Andrew: “It’s a… gigagrab… of SD cards”

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Andrew: Laughing

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Andrew: Singing “Hun…gry eyes”

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Andrew: “So, you did get some action”

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Andrew: “That is not!! You always say that; but, that’s–I, I feel like that’s untrue”

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Andrew: “That’s not what we’re talking about; but, it has ‘God’ in it. And, I just wanted to buy us some time”

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Andrew and Luke: “Does it make it more common, or does it, does it give it that good Burbank stank? Is there is a bad Burbank stank? Yes!”

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Luke: “Don’t give your brain an out on this, Burbs”

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Luke: “I am, I am so… so incredibly… poorly… informed on this topic; so, let me just go ahead and say a few things about it”

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Luke: “I have nothing under ‘mortal'”

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Luke: “I’m opening a 2 hour can of worms”

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Luke: “Oh, you’re gonna Burbank it”

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Luke: Singing “Hungry stomach”

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Luke: “The best thing for the outside of an Atlanta is the inside of a Georgia”

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Luke and Andrew: “So, there’s something called ‘The Lame List’… which… (I’m on it) is”

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Luke and Andrew: “What? You’re gonna make me wait, like (Yup) the 90s?”

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Andrew: “Eugh! That’s disorienting!”

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Andrew: “He came out that way, man!”

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Andrew: “I Just Crop-Dusted You With My Singing”

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Andrew: “I can’t even get my chicken to work!”

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Andrew: “I have no idea… what is in the soul of the stranger”

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Andrew: “I know you want me to sneeze more on mic; but, I can’t bring myself to do it, Luke. I’m shy. I’m a shy sneezer”

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Andrew: “I’m gonna… lift you up on angel’s wings here in a little bit; but, keep going”

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Andrew: “I’m shy. I’m a shy sneezer”

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Andrew: “Jesus Christ!”

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Andrew: “Just do it!”

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Andrew: Muting half of a sneeze

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Andrew: “Oh, no!”

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Andrew: “Oh! You did!? Oh! Wait. Am I holding it!? Oh my gosh!”

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Andrew: Saying “Give ’em the bird” in a sing-songy manner

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Andrew: Saying “Mr. I’m Meticulous” in a funny manner

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Andrew: “Some people… break weird… late in life”

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Andrew: “The balls on this guy!”

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Andrew: “Things were… hot, my friends! Hot!”

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Andrew: “What I’m trying to do is just say ‘flip the bird’. Cuz, I would never say ‘flick the bird,’ weirdly”

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Andrew and Luke: “Yet, somehow, me, Mr. I’m Meticulous… I don’t wanna hear that… I don’t wanna hear that coming back at me either. Wait a second. I need to delete what I just said (Mmm-hmm)”

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Luke: “Angry, old crusty person”

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Luke: “As the… alcohol was… corroding my brain”

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Luke: “But, there is something about Paris Hilting [sic]“

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Luke: Glitch in the connection while Luke was talking

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Luke: “I Can Smell Your Voice”

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Luke: “I have been lotioning this bad boy up”

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Luke: “I have been lotioning this bad boy up… Note to self… that’s the last time I’m ever gonna say, ‘lotioning this bad boy up’ on the show”

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Luke: “I want a do-over, please”

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Luke: “Note to self… that’s the last time I’m ever gonna say, ‘lotioning this bad boy up’ on the show”

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Luke: “Really!?”

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Luke: Re-enacting Andrew’s half-muted sneeze

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Luke: Saying “I had to… correct them” as Grady from “The Shining”

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Luke: “There is something about the soul of a Hilting”

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Luke: “W-W this and W-W that. Let’s W-W-dot explain it”

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Luke and Andrew: “The middle finger guy! (The middle finger guy! He’s back!)”

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